Lahvlahn: The "Snow Show Like a Joe Show" Edition - 01/03 two-eighteen so to speak

TheHomeService

Just got into the car in time to hear Fateen make an absolutele hash of De Serenity Prayer, dat de unwell do be saying.

That’s made my weekend, so to speak.

Jeff2

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Wonder where his favourite recuperation from the hard working life spot is? Does Claddaghgreen have in its assets a wee tigeen somewhere sunny?

A place in the south of France I believe.

ButtersSuki

De Brand NEW & IMPROVED so to speak 2-18 Joe Duffy Wurkday Calculator and dat:

Wurkdays in 2-18 and dat: 58
Joe Shows: 53
No Show Joe Shows: 5
Breakeens 4 Joe: 5
PBH (de full-time host of de show) Shows: 1 (first show for de full-time host on March 9th!)
PBH guest appearances and dat: 1
D'Omen Shows: 4
AN Udder Shows: 0

NEW FEATURE SO TO SPEAK:
Fateen's Estimated Fees (De FEF Matrix so to speak) to date dis year: €132,500*
(not including de EXTRA FEES for 3 days of De Beast From De East TV + Radio Simulcast Xtravaganza + likely "Danger Money" for travelling to and from wurk in de snow and dat).

*de fees are calculated at €2,500 per show x days dat Fateen is in so to speak. Dose fees are likely conservative and outdated as day are 2 years old so to speak.


Fateen on a little break-een next week I see (I caught the show but was unable to contribute to the thread so to speak as I was driving my car vehickle at de toyme ...I'll have a look at yisser alls ccmments later and dat).....de car is blue before anywan asks.

ButtersSuki

Deleted User wrote: »

Wonder where his favourite recuperation from the hard working life spot is? Does Claddaghgreen have in its assets a wee tigeen somewhere sunny?

He has a house in a gated community in Bergerac (France - not Jersey so to speak, older callers will get the reference...I hope! Bergerac was a 1980s TV detective for de younger viewers and dat.).

ButtersSuki

Wan a de Lahv Lahn highlights of the year last year was when Fateen did de speaky en Francais and dat. It was very "Allo! Allo!" so to speak.

ButtersSuki

jippo nolan wrote: »

No Joe next week, another holiday!

Well he has worked an incredible 53 days* dis year so far and this would only be his 2nd holiday so to speak. He's yet to have his "main holiday".


*53 x 1.25hours = 66.25hours / 8 hours per day = 8.28125 working days to you and me.

ButtersSuki

ButtersSuki wrote: »

He has a house in a gated community in Bergerac (France - not Jersey so to speak, older callers will get the reference...I hope! Bergerac was a 1980s TV detective for de younger viewers and dat.).

An Aer Lingus destination is de Bergerac. They probably do a special loyalty deal for him with champagne upgrade. Wonder if Fateen has enough “French” to get by at de local market, considering the difficulty he has wit de English.

[Deleted User]

[Deleted User] wrote: »

An Aer Lingus destination is de Bergerac. They probably do a special loyalty deal for him with champagne upgrade. Wonder if Fateen has enough “French” to get by at de local market, considering the difficulty he has wit de English.

https://www.homeaway.co.uk/p916533a

ButtersSuki

Deleted User wrote: »

An Aer Lingus destination is de Bergerac. They probably do a special loyalty deal for him with champagne upgrade. Wonder if Fateen has enough “French” to get by at de local market, considering the difficulty he has wit de English.

2 tings caller....

Neither Aer Lingus nor Ryanair do be doin' de Bergerac route direct anymore and Fateen is ragin' about it.

See my previous post on when Fateen did speaky de lingo last year - it was Allo! Allo! meets De Dubliners and dat.

Eod100

This is an odd one, but does anyone remember there was a Liveline which featured an elderly woman who was scammed and ended up driving the wrong way up the road to chase the scammer?

The scam was something along the lines of someone claiming a relative and died and they needed money for a train ticket to get to the funeral, or something like that.

Does it ring any bells at all?

ButtersSuki

thecretinhop wrote: »

Ronan said "what might be on the show" lol

Ronan's been saying that for a long time now. Completely flies over Fateen's head that he's having a little dig of course as Fateen is trying furiously to think of a clever bit of wordplay or a pun to segue from the last song Ronan played into his intro.

Uncharted wrote: »

JOE.......Don't be RUSSIAN to conclusions now,ja heer me........ (camp laugh) hee hee

I'm shocked he didn't try and make a Russian pun alright.

vicwatson wrote: »

Duffy with his Cúpla Focal as Gaelige, sigh

His Irish is worse dan his Matty Matticks multiplied by his Geographical knowledge.

Uncharted wrote: »

Did he study at Trinity by any chance?

Stay tuned caller for a Trinners mention from Fateen later!

vicwatson wrote: »

This clown is Irish, and knows nothing of Russia, he is spoofing

vicwatson wrote: »

Patriski talk a de truth, "killing someone is never a good thing", no ****

Joe's made a fortune out of death, it's been very profitable for him.

Oops69 wrote: »

He sounds like an attention seeking immature student .

Joe or the caller? :pac:

thecretinhop wrote: »

Fateen the political guru gubu gobshoyte more like

FYP.

Oops69 wrote: »

Joes an expert on Russia now ... this is monumentally embarrassing to be on a national radio station.

Dat 5mins research on de EYEPad while he takes his pre-show dump pays off everytime. He sounded like a real authority on the subject today. One would almost think he studied Russian Politics in Trinity.......:rolleyes:

neris wrote: »

well he was a socialist before RTE started giving him 6 figure cheques every 3 months.

FYP.

Dan Jaman wrote: »

"I've never actually been there, Joe."

HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Classic Lahv Lahn caller, right up there with the "I haven't seen it Joe but I'm offended by it" callers.

anthonyjmaher wrote: »

Do you want to hear the opinion of the callers Joe or just go off on your own anti-Putin rant?

You know the answer caller.

anthonyjmaher wrote: »

"Haven't actually been there".
And this is the guy that Joe Duffy brings in to be our "Ivan on the ground" in Moscow. Another good call from the Liveline researchers. I bet he's related to somebody in RTE.

100%. And he probably got fees for his appearance.

Uncharted wrote: »

This lad is full of it.
If he was a bottle of wodka,he'd drink himself...

Joe or the caller? :pac:

buried wrote: »

Olly Garks

I was driving at the time but it sounded like he said "Oily Garks" to me.

Rock Lesnar wrote: »

Pewteeen

Yup, I was wondering whoy Joe didn't correct the callers and inform them of the correct his pronunciation of the name.

thecretinhop wrote: »

This is complete gibberish

Are you new here? :pac:

buried wrote: »

In Russia, Liveline rings you........................oh wait

Didn't Michael O'Leary have some communist-themed nickname for RTE? Answers on a postcard to.....

DoctorEdgeWild wrote: »

Just tuned in, absolutely no idea what's going on. Same as usual really.

Are you new here? :pac:

2smiggy wrote: »

even by live line standards, this is just pure rubbish. Nearly 20 mins of it now. Will we get a dublin taxi drivers take on Russia now ?

Day're too busy filling out de forms dat Joe did tell dem about and dat.

anthonyjmaher wrote: »

"Your researcher asked me.."
Caller driven show again people.

It's hilarious they still trot out that line.

vicwatson wrote: »

Unelected Taoiseach

I had relatively high-hopes for Leo. He's turned out to be as fame hungry as a Kardashian and as big a disappointment as a child on Christmas morning getting a copy of Joe's buke as a present.

neris wrote: »

now now caller dont slag off joes FF

Joe made up for it later by praising FF'er Noel Dempsey (utterly useless btw). Balance in Joe's mind. :rolleyes:

Roger_007 wrote: »

Shhhhhh!...........Joe is solving a major world problem.:eek:

He can't solve page 2 of Busy At Maths 4 so I think you may be setting the bar and your own expectations a little high there caller.

anthonyjmaher wrote: »

I think Patrick and the other callers are at different levels. It's like primary school vs university.

Chaired by a chisler in creche.

vicwatson wrote: »

No, but he can speak better English than Duffy, so to speak

Tina Satchwell's parrot can speak better English than Fateen. And he's dead.

Somedude9 wrote: »

Duffy getting schooled

It's not hard in fairness.

pc7 wrote: »

I don't think Patrick really knows all that much about Mother Russia and its history.

It was loike totes-ski amazeballs.

vicwatson wrote: »

Twenty Two Hundred?

You mean Two Thousand Two Hundred right?

At least Fateen didn't try his 2-18 nonsense on that figure!

Owryan wrote: »

Joe mentions British passports printed in France, this is the two faced fateen who got his buke printed in Germany

It was important to me ta keep de price under 20 notes for de poooer peeple and dat.

thecretinhop wrote: »

Im in shock how bad was that. Dustin the A turkey has more political knowledge than fateen.

FYP.

Uncharted wrote: »

What colour was the car caller?

I'm shocked he didn't ask dat question.

Uncharted wrote: »

Wha wha wha......... scrambling of paper. Whoy.... eh. Wha ummmm.

Back after these..........

Total pro

Worth every cent. Deserves a raise too (in his own head).

BPKS wrote: »

And if you call Christmas "Chrimbo" you deserve every bit of bad luck that will befall you

+1

2smiggy wrote: »

Poor Joe trying to do maths live on air :(

Not even de 2 EYEPads and de wan EYEfone can help him.

For Forks Sake wrote: »

Essentially (I'd say the person working there couldn't believe their luck.)

Anyway, I used to work in that business
1. Christmas is the most expensive time of year due to high demand and less fleet on hand off peak
2. 7seaters are amongst the most expensive + this lad probably wanted an automatic.

Most important, he's an idiot who didn't calculate the add on when he made the booking, and then paid them anyway and fr whatever reason feels the need to have a whine about it

There'd be no Lahv Lahn if not for peeple like dis so to speak.

Rock Lesnar wrote: »

Unless its the M3, The roads in meath are sh+t, well my road is anyway

#Metoo (that's what it's about, right?)

Dan Jaman wrote: »

Oh, Joe went to Trinity?

Did you not know dat so to speak? :pac:

Dan Jaman wrote: »

She sounds like a relative of Plastic Sheeting.

Yes, the one the Sheeting's refer to as their boring cousin.

Deleted User wrote: »

Mar-Sigh. Great French pronunciation there.

Joe speaky de Francais trays be-yen. He treated us to some of he French last year. It was comedy gold.

Uncharted wrote: »

Boo hoo. Cop yourself on ya cretin..... mid 40s looking for sympathy. Get off the stage

Joe's a bit older than his mid-40s caller. You meant Joe, right?

Deleted User wrote: »

Don’t be Unwell, sez counsellor Duffy

Well it's better than the usual potentially dangerous and completely unqualified advice he usually gives out.

meep wrote: »

Typical, non-russian russian got 20 mins to say nothing and now we have someone with direct experience of the issue and he's going to get at most 2 mins.

Classic Lahv Lahn.

ButtersSuki

Fateen made de paper of record (no less).....


Child shot dead during Easter Rising given headstone 102 years on

Inchicore eight-year-old Eugene Lynch among 40 children killed during rebellion

Fri, Mar 23, 2018, 14:38 Updated: Fri, Mar 23, 2018, 14:55
Ronan McGreevy

The family of Eugene Lynch, an eight-year-old child who was shot and killed by an English soldier during the 1916 Rising, have unveiled a headstone on his grave in Glasnevin Cemetery. The grave had previously been unmarked. Video: Ronan McGreevy


On the Friday of Easter Week 1916, eight-year-old Eugene Lynch was playing outside his family’s home on Vincent’s Street in Inchicore, Dublin.
A trigger-happy and jumpy British soldier - probably an Irishman - was stood on a green opposite. Suddenly a gunshot came towards where the children were playing football, and Eugene was fatally wounded.
His body was taken and laid out on a table in his grandmother’s pub, and two days later he was buried in Goldenbridge Cemetery - just yards from his home and where he had probably played among the tombstones.
Broadcaster Joe Duffy, whose book The Children of the Rising highlighted the stories of the 40 children killed during the events of Easter Week, became emotional :rolleyes: as he recalled the circumstances of Eugene’s funeral, which took place on Sunday, April 29th, a day after the rebels surrendered.
He was buried in a wooden box measuring 4 ft 10ins (1.5m) in length, with the funeral costing £2.

• Why didn’t the Easter Rising rebels attack Trinity College, Dublin?
• Minister says conservative Irish State let women down for ‘far too long’
• Rising to the occasion: a portrait of the nation, 100 years on

“Here he played and here he is laid. At 11 o’clock on a Sunday morning as they carried that box through that gate, we reckon there were three people at his funeral,” Duffy said.
Eugene had lain for 102 years in an unmarked grave with other members of his family. But on Friday, unlike the day of his funeral, hundreds gathered for the dedication of his gravestone.
The headstone was provided by Glasnevin Trust, which has reopened Goldenbridge Cemetery to the public after many years of closure.
‘Prisoner’

Eugene’s headstone is just metres away from the graves of the only father and son to lead the State, WT and Liam Cosgrave. The latter had often spoken of his father “being a prisoner in his grave” because of the closure of the cemetery.
Members of the Lynch family were there for the unveiling including Eugene’s nephew, who was named after him. Children from three Inchicore schools were present, Our Lady of Lourdes National School, the Mercy Secondary School and Scoil Mhuire Gán Smál.

Musician Declan O’Rourke sang his song The Children of 16, before a piper led the Lynch family to the grave for the unveiling.
Glasnevin Trust chairman John Green said people had previously looked at the Easter Rising only through the eyes of its leaders, and that it had taken 100 years to remember the rest.
“Those people who died in 1916 have become all the more real to us all. No book has had a greater impact that Children of the Rising,” he said.
Sixth class pupils from Scoil Mhuire Gán Smál read a poem in honour of Eugene. It begins: ‘For far too long in Inchicore, I did not know your name/The Rising’s History was peopled by those men of greater fame’.



He probably won't be able to enjoy his little break-een now he's so emotional :rolleyes:. He did sound terribly upset on Friday alright....:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: I hope he said tanks to de dead chisler dat is payin' for me break-een next week and me holiday chateau en Fwance......did he fook...

ButtersSuki

Anywan care ta wager how long dis break-een will be?

• just de wan day, tamarra, Munday
• "just" de full week, back tamarra week
• "just" de 9 days, back for a Holy Turrsday FunnyFryday and dat and de off again for Good Friday and Easter Monday
• "just" de 11 wurking days and back de Chewsday after Easter Monday and dat

Text Wan, Foybe, Noyne or Eleventeen to Foyver Wan Dubble Foyve Dubble Foyver Fryday Wan now.


Edit: I just realised Easter is next Sunday and not the following week so to speak.....dat makes de above redundant so to speak so don't text in now - dja hear me?

sideboard

Phew!! Some lovely contributors on this thread. All with decent Agenda's of their own no doubt?

sligojoek

I'd say he'll go for the full fortnight. His first non-main holiday of the year.

barney shamrock

Duffy has referred to the children who died in 1916 as "my children", which is slightly arrogant and very weird.

Dan Jaman

sideboard wrote: »

Phew!! Some lovely contributors on this thread. All with decent Agenda's of their own no doubt?

Lahvloyne is nothing without an agenda; what's yours?

I see you're only here to get a rise.
Goodbye.

sideboard

Dan Jaman wrote: »

Lahvloyne is nothing without an agenda; what's yours?

Sensitive there Dan...rushing to conclusions are we once again?

Uncharted

sideboard wrote: »

Phew!! Some lovely contributors on this thread. All with decent Agenda's of their own no doubt?

Whoy would you say such a ting caller?
By the way,what colour is the sideboard?
Mind yisserself petal, d'ya hear me....

Brendan Bendar

sligojoek wrote: »

I'd say he'll go for the full fortnight. His first non-main holiday of the year.

I keep telling you lads that it’s teachers hours, and nobody will listen.

ButtersSuki

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

I keep telling you lads that it’s teachers hours, and nobody will listen.

To be fair, teachers work more than 75mins a day.

withless

sideboard wrote: »

Phew!! Some lovely contributors on this thread. All with decent Agenda's of their own no doubt?

You rang our thread we didn't ring you.

BPKS

What a start

somesoldiers

And the winner is

a salmon coloured ticket with 2 weeks

thecretinhop

2 weeks off for fateen

sligojoek

Rotters.

Nice breakeen for Joe.

Dan Jaman

Ah; it's Philly Country-Park.

Ally Dick

Someone with light fingers in An Post

Somedude9

Rotters!

Roger_007

Cash sent in post goes missing?
Does everyone not know at this stage that you shouldn't do that?