Lahvlahn: The "Snow Show Like a Joe Show" Edition - 01/03 two-eighteen so to speak

Ah the aul Cast Down bit

Dan Jaman

"Cast down."
Just a bit. How far is that?

TheHomeService

TheHomeService wrote: »

Plus motorised wheelchair,

Plus Hotel in Ballybunion.

There'll be more requests before 3.00

You can add a Trip to Lourdes to the list.

boardise

You might be courdes at Lourdes.

somesoldiers

sell the mobile home

Dan Jaman

HIAB on a passing flatbed truck will do the job.

jetfiremuck

Any one got a running count on Kathleen with the 'you know' . Where is Bally bun on ffs

BPKS

"You are a great trio, the three of ye"

He actually said that

somesoldiers

Joe tells a lot from a VoYis

Uncharted

You're a fabulous wunderfull amazing brilliant mudder. I can hear your pain petal ....


PUKE!!!!!

TheHomeService

"Heist"

TheHomeService

TheHomeService wrote: »

Plus motorised wheelchair,

Plus Hotel in Ballybunion.

There'll be more requests before 3.00

Mr McEniff will be making an offer... for sure...

Dan Jaman

Perhaps Noreen could send her some call cards.

Del.Monte

All of this talk of death reminded me of this from my archives.

[Deleted User]

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Mr McEniff will be making an offer... for sure...

Jeez I was up in Bundoran in me head... don’t know de hoteliers in Bally Bunion

thecretinhop

In joes bizarre world of libel be explodes like a cheap hoverboard over taxi guy which did not seems bad. He then laughs off the brittish airways story and when noreen actually says corruption its a big joke. The man is a buffoon.

Uncharted

thecretinhop wrote: »

In joes bizarre world of libel be explodes like a cheap hoverboard over taxi guy which did not seems bad. He then laughs off the brittish airways story and when noreen actually says corruption its a big joke. The man is a buffoon.

YOU CAN'T SAY THAT! ! ! ! !

meep

thecretinhop wrote: »

In joes bizarre world of libel be explodes like a cheap hoverboard over taxi guy which did not seems bad. He then laughs off the brittish airways story and when noreen actually says corruption its a big joke. The man is a buffoon.

Not to mention allowing a caller refer to a foreign head of state as a 'nut case'

An Claidheamh

Del.Monte wrote: »

Neutral my hole - aren't we the best little Germans in Europe.

Is that your catchphrase or something?

ButtersSuki

De Brand NEW & IMPROVED so to speak 2-18 Joe Duffy Wurkday Calculator and dat:

Wurkdays in 2-18 and dat: 76
Joe Shows: 62
No Show Joe Shows: 14
Breakeens 4 Joe: 14
PBH (de full-time host of de show) Shows: 9
PBH guest appearances and dat: 1
D'Omen Shows: 4
AN Udder Shows: 0
Good Fryday No Show by nobody at all at all: 1

NEW FEATURE SO TO SPEAK:
Fateen's Estimated Fees (De FEF Matrix so to speak) to date dis year: €155,000*
(not including de EXTRA FEES for 3 days of De Beast From De East TV + Radio Simulcast Xtravaganza + likely "Danger Money" for travelling to and from wurk in de snow and dat).

*de fees are calculated at €2,500 per show x days dat Fateen is in so to speak. Dose fees are likely conservative and outdated as day are 2 years old so to speak.
I'm including Good Fryday as a Wurkday as it is not an official Bank Holiday/Holiday Day. Even Pat Kenny is in Newstalk FFS, but no-one in RTE of course of course.

ButtersSuki

Just checked Fateen was in to update de calendar and dat....I'll have a read back later. How good bad was today's show?

drugstore cowboy

All I heard of today's show was a woman saying she fell asleep "on the table"

sligojoek

BPKS wrote: »

"You are a great trio, the three of ye"

He actually said that

"And god bless your son who's deceased"
A last gasp attempt to get tears.

BPKS

ButtersSuki wrote: »

Just checked Fateen was in to update de calendar and dat....I'll have a read back later. How good bad was today's show?

Listen to Noreen.

She was like the Tasmanian Devil on speed.

Except of course for when she fell asleep on the table while browsing the internet.

Jeff2

Agree with BPKS.
You got to listen to her butters.
And he gave out her full name.

ButtersSuki

Uncharted wrote: »

Whoy is der no talk about da promo an dat?

Oi missed it so to speak.....

I can't do it everyday caller and I missed it twoday and dat.....

Oops69 wrote: »

Some of the RTÉ ads atm could have come from the seventies , anyone heard the punches town one ?

It's not often I say dis but in fairness to De RTÉ, de vast majority of dem adds are made by fancy ad agencies like in de TV Mad Men so to speak. De standard of de radio ads in Ireland is appalling dough caller, I accept dat.

somesoldiers wrote: »

John Joe

A T wurd perhaps?

Oops69 wrote: »

What the hell led James to move from D4 ?

Ta ware?

vicwatson wrote: »

It's their culture? They wouldn't be getting their dole to their bank accounts now would they

Ah, T wurd it was den....

Uncharted wrote: »

Feet are killer weapons in Joe world. Ffs

WTF is he on about now? Was it Conor McGregor's fault...even dough he wasn't in de country at de time?

vicwatson wrote: »

You just know that this caller has been told by RTE not to mention that they were travellers

You can't say dat. Da Lahv Lahn is a caller driven show and freedom of speech is paramount.....if you're agreeing wit de occasional host's point of view. Otherwise you'll get shut down and cut off via a "Bad line!"

Oops69 wrote: »

Ah Jesus , the generic Moany Dub taxi driver , they’re all the feckin same ,thousand of them sound the exact same way .

....dja know whor I meen?

Dan Jaman wrote: »

Pals in government - the man speaketh the truth.
Qualified in snorting the trough, Joe.
Arshole, Joe. Much like yourself.

Was he talkin' abour RTÉ or something else caller?

vicwatson wrote: »

HOLY JOE THROWING A MICKEY FIT

Wat did I miss?

somesoldiers wrote: »

Keeer-Stin

Not another one of his "zany" pronunciations?

vicwatson wrote: »

Taking your chisler outta school for holidays, tut tut caller

Used to be a wurking class ting ta do....now it seems everywan is at it so to speak.....it's a disgrace Joe!

somesoldiers wrote: »

can you not have it in Arrikkaaners

this is your own country's rule

Did Fateen do a Sauf Afikaan accent? Did he ask the caller person who was called by de researcher "is dat your real voyis?' or does he just ask Irish people from Limerick dat wan?

Dan Jaman wrote: »

STupido. How is it the airline's fault?
The airlines don't tell you it's a requirement for you not to kill people in the countries you visit, either.
You're supposed to know the stuff yourself and not be dependent on being spoon-fed details.

Ah is dat wat became of de cannabis chisler from yesterday? He grew up (in 24hours) and became a murderer in anudder country? Fast learner he was after all.....

BPKS wrote: »

But as it was 1:59 2:59 they were all on lunch and nobody was available.

FYP

meep wrote: »

And the beautiful irony is that that caller was likely invited on air to comment on the affairs of the day. He mentioned he'd been on in the past talking about losing his licence.

Caller driven show.....

thecretinhop wrote: »

joe is a coward. as we can see with the bank guarantee. he lives in fear of a career ending libel. hence he goes on rage attack there hes projecting his own loss

You mean de time he threatened to resign but quickly rowed back on dat position wen he realised not many places pay you €2,500 for 75mins wurk in a tax efficient mamnner via fees to a holding company AND give you 3 months a year off and have no editorial control over your output?

Uncharted wrote: »

MELDED families.......?? Wtf is he on?

He's on de letter M on de dictionary toilet paper caller.

vicwatson wrote: »

Probably Ballybrack (Faux Killiney)

Like parts of Dollymount are faux Clontarf?

BPKS wrote: »

I feel asleep on the table!

No idea wat dats about.

Hector Savage wrote: »

Forget it, it's gone.

In fact I would be certain the security staff took it.

They make €1200 a month for fuxake...

A month? Surely you mean an hour caller? Joe is always astonished not eveywan is on his kinda money and dat

Uncharted wrote: »

Noreenn was asleep on the table?

I'm lost so to speak

vicwatson wrote: »

Surely CCTV all over the place there? Sounds suspicious

You left about a few C's dare caller in de CCCCCCTV

meep wrote: »

Maybe Joe could suggest that whoever has or 'finds' this ladies property might see fit to hand it in to Port Laoise prespretry, so to speak?

Which one?

BPKS wrote: »

What was she watching on the internet?

A repeat of the Ray D'Arcy show?

very few watch it lahv, I can't imagine dat many seek out a repeat....

TheHomeService wrote: »

Will we get a "Dey won't be back, d'ya hear me petal" from Joe?

Wurds of wisdom and dat from de Great Wan.

vicwatson wrote: »

€400,000.00 for Duffy and he asks her did she see "one of those fights", she's in Portlaoise ya thick

It's likely more. Don't forget the last figures published were for 2015 2-15. You don't seriously tink he's not had a few raises since?

Borderfox wrote: »

Delusions of grandeur on the show today

From Joe or de caller?

vicwatson wrote: »

Ah lads seriously

IS DUFFY FOR REAL, he's not even listening to the caller, ignorant fool

Are you new here? HE NEVER LISTENS.

Uncharted wrote: »

"I'm on the ball".

"I'm like that Joe"

YOU WERE ASLEEP ON THE TABLE WOMAN FFS!!!!!!

Ok, I'll have to listen back for whatever dis refers to....but it'll be in de morning and dat.

meep wrote: »

You know, I don't think Joe listens to the callers. Seriously ignorant lads.

See earlier comment caller. Are you new here too btw?

Mike Guide 69 wrote: »

"Tesco mobile isnt that good", classic!!!!!! There goes your points!!!!

Tesco legal team on Lahn 2.....cue some sort of attempted clarification from Joe or one of de stand ins in the coming days.

"Tesco were on to us and dat and day asked us to pint out day use the O2 network and it's de best and de fastest and dat - dja hear me now? I'm happy to point dat out ta yisser all so I am and dat."

Mike Guide 69 wrote: »

I hope Butters is listening to this!!!!!

Nope, I wasn't caller........

Mike Guide 69 wrote: »

....and Joe calls out her surname, brilliant!!!!

Not de first time he's done dat......

meep wrote: »

Oh no. Working out phone bills with LL mattymatiks.

Dear Joe,

(Please) don't do de Matty Matticks lahv on air.

Yours in broadcasting,
Dee Forbes and dat.

TheHomeService wrote: »

That mad bint who called after his last gig complained that "he didn't sing a medley of his hits"

Did dat really happen? I missed dat show.

BPKS wrote: »

Liveline Gold to Liveline sh1t

Nuttin' new dare caller. Gold is usually follyed by 3 weeks of de death and dat.

BPKS wrote: »

My son was beat up 5 years ago

Pretty recent by Lahv Lahn standards for a story to make it to air.....

Jeff2 wrote: »

Joe thinks Korea is an island off Spain.

FYP.

TheHomeService wrote: »

This has all the hallmarks of "De burden remains heavy, but your shoulders get stronger" guff from Fateen.

Get ready for calls from hotels by the sea, and wheelchair companies.

Plugfest 2018 2-18.

Deleted User wrote: »

A Death x:

A-ha!

TheHomeService wrote: »

Plus motorised wheelchair,

Plus Hotel in Ballybunion.

There'll be more requests before 3.00

Was it an inshuredance death whereby all the household items were destroyed and dat?

TheHomeService wrote: »

You can add a Trip to Lourdes to the list.

Lour-Dezz caller, it's Lour-Dezz.

BPKS wrote: »

"You are a great trio, the three of ye"

He actually said that

Everytime I think he can't be any dumber, he surprises me.

I should just keep that as a permanent copy & paste item on my mac as I use it about once a day these days.

somesoldiers wrote: »

Joe tells a lot from a VoYis

Posh peeple are great, salt a dee irths are greater, British caller are de greaterest and dat

thecretinhop wrote: »

In joes bizarre world of libel be explodes like a cheap hoverboard over taxi guy which did not seems bad. He then laughs off the brittish airways story and when noreen actually says corruption its a big joke. The man is a buffoon.

Are you new here?

meep wrote: »

Not to mention allowing a caller refer to a foreign head of state as a 'nut case'

Arlene Foster again? Remember de hard on he had for her a while back when she sang a song?

Uncharted

Nice one Butters.

Please do yourself a favour and catch up with Noreen from today's show.
Nuttier than a squirrel sh¡te...... Lahvlahn go-eld so to speak.

SecretsOfEarth

Checked the podcast and the libel/taxi driver that a few of you referred to at the start of the show doesn't seem to be in it.

sligojoek

Surprise surprise

Dan Jaman

SecretsOfEarth wrote: »

Checked the podcast and the libel/taxi driver that a few of you referred to at the start of the show doesn't seem to be in it.

Just for the benefit of the record, it went something like this..

"The taxi regulator is full of government pals who wouldn't know their arses from their elbows. About as qualified to do the job as a gibbon is to fly a Space Shuttle." (I paraphrase slightly).

<Joe's arsehole twitches>
"You can't SAY DAT! I'm sure they are good honourable people, just dripping with good intentions and qualifications out of their wazoos, who are driven by pure spirit and an urge to public service for little to no pay and are absolutely, totally nothing to do with me and wouldn't dream of having the daggers out for me if I entertained the notion of them being anything but what I just said they are."

<unscripted advertising break>
<mysterious occurence of a bad line to the previous caller, who unfortunately couldn't be contacted again>