Feeling disheartened with trying to conceive....

bilbot79

Jwacqui wrote: »

Great to read other people’s experiences. Myself and my husband have been TTC for 13 months now and nothing. I have slightly irregular periods 32-40 days.
Been to SIMS and they said best way is straight to IVF, best success but we don’t want to jump there straight away.
They said it could still happen naturally???
They recommended for my to have a SIS done
Tempted to go to my doctor and prescribe clomid/letrozole and see if that works and then maybe go back to the clinic after Christmas. So hard waiting

Now that we're 'in' IVF I am wishing we started sooner to have more time before the cliff edge.

Something always delays the attempt

LegacyUser

Hi all.

It can be reassuring to see people in similar enough situations. TTC just about a year now. I was on contraception for a long time, only break I had when I had my little girl who is now 7. My periods have only regulated in last 4 months, I’m bang on 28 days.. when I stopped the pill I was quite irregular and even for two cycles completely skipped my period. Hoping because I have become so regular now that it will happen for me soon and I will become pregnant, I have a supportive partner who is so easy going and kills me if I stress but I am such a worrier.
Best of luck to all TTC xxx

babydream

How is everyone doing the last while??

Im feeling very down about the whole situation and just how unfair it all is. Not going to lie I am wallowing a little today in self pity but I think im allowed that every now and again. Also probably something to do with the arrival of AF any day now :mad:

Busy_nurse

babydream wrote: »

How is everyone doing the last while??

Im feeling very down about the whole situation and just how unfair it all is. Not going to lie I am wallowing a little today in self pity but I think im allowed that every now and again. Also probably something to do with the arrival of AF any day now :mad:

Hey,

Sorry you're feeling down, I feel your pain. I'm so sorry that AF is on her way, when is that bitch going to leave us alone!?! It's ok to wallow and feel down, angry and down right pissed off at how unfair the whole thing is, because it is incredibly unfair.

I too am struggling at the mo, we had our HSG and we had been told by the fertility consultant that we would be more fertile afterwards, but still AF came and no BFP for us. We're trying again but I truly am struggling to see it ever happening for us. All of our tests have come back fine, nothing wrong at all, it just hasn't happened yet. I am trying my best to keep busy and develop other areas of my life, but every couple of days there is another pregnancy announcement and its getting harder and harder to hide my hurt.

Hang in there, be good to yourself, and have some time doing whatever makes you feel good. You are not alone in this, I feel for you and have everything crossed you get the good news soon xxx

babydream

Busy_nurse wrote: »

Hey,

Sorry you're feeling down, I feel your pain. I'm so sorry that AF is on her way, when is that bitch going to leave us alone!?! It's ok to wallow and feel down, angry and down right pissed off at how unfair the whole thing is, because it is incredibly unfair.

I too am struggling at the mo, we had our HSG and we had been told by the fertility consultant that we would be more fertile afterwards, but still AF came and no BFP for us. We're trying again but I truly am struggling to see it ever happening for us. All of our tests have come back fine, nothing wrong at all, it just hasn't happened yet. I am trying my best to keep busy and develop other areas of my life, but every couple of days there is another pregnancy announcement and its getting harder and harder to hide my hurt.

Hang in there, be good to yourself, and have some time doing whatever makes you feel good. You are not alone in this, I feel for you and have everything crossed you get the good news soon xxx

Thanks Busy Nurse! Sorry to hear nothing is happening for you either. Have you been put on Clomid yet? I am on Clomid which is horrible as it makes me crazy for the first two weeks of every month. I've got through by saying it will be worth it in the end. Finished it this month now and nothing :mad:

Suppose we will be going down the IVF route next year, something im really not looking forward to

sunsetbeachfan

Babydream
I'm glad you posted if you're feeling like that, feel the same about so many bumps around me!
Really hard to be patient. Sending you baby dust!

Busynurse
You're doing everything right. Really frustrating in a way that you don't have a reason for BFN but on the other hand it could just take more time and you might not need any ivf. Have you tried yoga? Even to take your mind off and increase blood flow to that area. I'm going to add it.
Sending you baby dust! Really hope it happens soon


I'm Cd22 trying to track ovulation, studying CM online, temping and checking saliva. I'm not sure if I'm not able to use the saliva thing or if ive not ovulated haven't used it long enough to tell.
Also adding ovulation sticks, can't tell if I've already ovulated this month or not. Either I'm not reading the signs correctly or else it hasn't happened.
Envy people with regular cycles who can DTD during the fertile week.
Been spending alot of time with other family and friends babies lately aswell as alot of work conversation from mothers about their babies. It's been a bit much so haven't been on forming as much. I've still been reading my books and looking online about tracking ovulation on Ovia app.
I keep reading things about fertility and then going to health shop and adding it. Oh omega 3 is essential? Right so? Raspberry leaf tea is a miracle tea perfect for everyone? Okay can't hurt to drink fruit tea!

cailleach an airgid

I really identify with everyone on this thread. We are ttc eleven months - I’m 35 in November so it’s hard to call when to get tests. I have an overactive thyroid and I’ve changed my medication to one that’s safer for pregnancy - only issue is it’s highly associated with liver failure and I’m now on it a year because we haven’t conceived. I also discovered I’d low b12 and iron and that is being treated too. My endo did say last year I should get pregnant straight away- well he was wrong wasn’t he? My gp and mother both said the same thing prior to starting ttc and to be honest I’m angry about that.

I have regular periods (give or take a day or two). I have got regular positive opks too (though I missed a positive this month as I’m sure I tested too late in the day). My husband did one of those home tests and it was fine (though I know it doesn’t test morphology).

I’m so sad and keep breaking down every month. I feel like a complete failure - like I’m defective in some way. Everyone I know is either pregnant or have recently given birth. I’m both delighted for them and resentful - I hate myself for feeling resentful which adds to the stress.

It’s a lonely place and I’m finding it very, very hard. Every month is like a tiny death - I can’t help but keep my hopes up, even almost a year in.

Big hugs to all. Making a doctors appointment in the morning to start investigations.

suzb2

cailleach an airgid wrote: »

I really identify with everyone on this thread. We are ttc eleven months - I’m 35 in November so it’s hard to call when to get tests. I have an overactive thyroid and I’ve changed my medication to one that’s safer for pregnancy - only issue is it’s highly associated with liver failure and I’m now on it a year because we haven’t conceived. I also discovered I’d low b12 and iron and that is being treated too. My endo did say last year I should get pregnant straight away- well he was wrong wasn’t he? My gp and mother both said the same thing prior to starting ttc and to be honest I’m angry about that.

I have regular periods (give or take a day or two). I have got regular positive opks too (though I missed a positive this month as I’m sure I tested too late in the day). My husband did one of those home tests and it was fine (though I know it doesn’t test morphology).

I’m so sad and keep breaking down every month. I feel like a complete failure - like I’m defective in some way. Everyone I know is either pregnant or have recently given birth. I’m both delighted for them and resentful - I hate myself for feeling resentful which adds to the stress.

It’s a lonely place and I’m finding it very, very hard. Every month is like a tiny death - I can’t help but keep my hopes up, even almost a year in.

Big hugs to all. Making a doctors appointment in the morning to start investigations.

Dear cailleach an airgid,
Thanks for sharing. I'm in a similiar situation to u. Been ttc for 21 months now however. I know exactly how u feel. When someone is bursting with excitement telling me that they are expecting, all I want to do is smack them in the face and then burst into tears. Cos that's how I feel... especially when they follow up with the 'it happened way faster than we thought' nugget of info. But I plaster a smile on and put all my hopes into this month.. then the next month... and so it continues... I hate feeling jealous about other peoples good news and also incredibly guilty that I feel like this.
Defective is exactly how I feel too. It's not supposed to be this hard. I feel like everything is on hold. Do I go to the hen party early next year? Do I have a drink or 2 at the weekend? I feel like I'm cracking up sometimes. Please don't ever feel alone in this cos I'm right there with u!! I'm hoping the doctors will help shed some light on it for u. I've my fingers crossed for ya!!

babydream

cailleach an airgid wrote: »

I really identify with everyone on this thread. We are ttc eleven months - I’m 35 in November so it’s hard to call when to get tests. I have an overactive thyroid and I’ve changed my medication to one that’s safer for pregnancy - only issue is it’s highly associated with liver failure and I’m now on it a year because we haven’t conceived. I also discovered I’d low b12 and iron and that is being treated too. My endo did say last year I should get pregnant straight away- well he was wrong wasn’t he? My gp and mother both said the same thing prior to starting ttc and to be honest I’m angry about that.

I have regular periods (give or take a day or two). I have got regular positive opks too (though I missed a positive this month as I’m sure I tested too late in the day). My husband did one of those home tests and it was fine (though I know it doesn’t test morphology).

I’m so sad and keep breaking down every month. I feel like a complete failure - like I’m defective in some way. Everyone I know is either pregnant or have recently given birth. I’m both delighted for them and resentful - I hate myself for feeling resentful which adds to the stress.

It’s a lonely place and I’m finding it very, very hard. Every month is like a tiny death - I can’t help but keep my hopes up, even almost a year in.

Big hugs to all. Making a doctors appointment in the morning to start investigations.

Hey cailleach an airgid I feel your pain, we are coming up on 3 years TTC and nothing has happened (I actually got a bit emotional typing that 3). Im surrounded by pregnant women in work and im so sick of listening to them complain about pregnancy and sleepless nights. So instead of screaming at them ive resorted to wearing headphones all day in here.

I get exactly how you feel about pregnancy announcements, I straight away in my head say **** *** ***** and then I feel horrible for being jealous.

So ive decided to get my head straight and am booked in to see a counsellor at the end of this month and get my head straight. We are hoping to start IVF early next year and need to be in the right head space.

Best of Luck on your journey, and don't forget we are all in the same boat and this is the place to rant away

raggedyAnn

Wow - I really relate with you all. I started off getting pregnant quickly and then miscarrying twice. The second time was horrendous especially due to having had two scans where everything was on track and healthy. We've been ttc for 6-8 cycles following that and no success. AF arrived today and I'm devastated. I really had convinced myself it was our month. The hospital said they won't refer me for fertility assessment until I've had 3 miscarriages but I'm certainly not willing to wait for that. I've decided to book in for fertility tests to be more proactive. Can anyone advise a good place to go in Dublin? Do I need to go to my GP first? Really appreciate any advice you may have on this.

suzb2

raggedyAnn wrote: »

Wow - I really relate with you all. I started off getting pregnant quickly and then miscarrying twice. The second time was horrendous especially due to having had two scans where everything was on track and healthy. We've been ttc for 6-8 cycles following that and no success. AF arrived today and I'm devastated. I really had convinced myself it was our month. The hospital said they won't refer me for fertility assessment until I've had 3 miscarriages but I'm certainly not willing to wait for that. I've decided to book in for fertility tests to be more proactive. Can anyone advise a good place to go in Dublin? Do I need to go to my GP first? Really appreciate any advice you may have on this.

Hi raggedyanne,
Not sure if this helps but here goes...
I went through my gp. She referred me to the coombe and I have seen a consultant there. She organised my bloods to be done again and I'm going for a hycosey this week to check if my tubes are blocked. I'm hoping that they are so then I'll have a definite answer as to what the problem is. I have a 2nd appointment with the consultant after that to see what the nxt step is if they aren't blocked. I ended up going privately because I honestly would have cracked up on the waiting list for a public appointment. It took about 2 months to get my initial appointment. We decided to go down this rd because the thought of a privite fertility clinic scared the hell out of us. It's a last resort option for us that hopefully we won't need to use!!

Nerd Queen

Feeling really positive with how things are going this month so hope everybody else is having a good month too!

Nerd Queen

How are we all getting on? Period due today and feeling really down about it! Trying not to be so pessimistic but also it’s so hard not to over analyze every symptom! Anyone else the same?

LegacyUser

Fingers crossed for you nerd queen. I’ve been TTC since january 2018, am 38, had all fertility investigations done through well woman last year and nothing showed up. Did first IVF cycle at rotunda ivf in January, got one frozen embryo, (didn’t get to transfer due to medical issue that is now hopefully under control) and hopefully due to start fresh cycle end of feb. I’ve been following this forum and wish everyone the best for 2019

babydream

Nerd Queen wrote: »

How are we all getting on? Period due today and feeling really down about it! Trying not to be so pessimistic but also it’s so hard not to over analyze every symptom! Anyone else the same?

We have taken a break as we are in the process of moving house so said we would wait until that's done. We are starting OI then so fingers crossed this works.

I'm the same every month like I have one voice saying your getting AF and another telling you nope that's an early pregnancy symptom. I thought by now id have lost the latter voice

Nerd Queen

babydream wrote: »

We have taken a break as we are in the process of moving house so said we would wait until that's done. We are starting OI then so fingers crossed this works.

I'm the same every month like I have one voice saying your getting AF and another telling you nope that's an early pregnancy symptom. I thought by now id have lost the latter voice

I hear ya! The 2 voices are exactly what I have! AF arrived this morning as I arrived to work. Great start to Blue Monday...... not. Really loosing patience now!

Saysay19

Hi everyone,

Trying to conceive since my wedding last year. Early October I got the BFP but unfortunately that was shorlived in November, I was 7 weeks gone. While physically it was like a heavy period emotionally it tore me apart.
My bff had her first baby this weekend and I met him yesterday. Talk about pain in my ovaries , he was just amazing as is my friend. I am so happy for them both. They are smitten with him.
I have a little boy who is 5, my rainbow baby. I was 9 weeks when I had my first miscarriage and physically this was horrible. Emotional too but I think I got over it faster. If that makes sense.

Anyways I’m due my period this week. Deep down I know it will arrive and I don’t think I can handle it. We agreed if nothing happened by March we are going to the docs.

Like us all I’m fed up.


Spreading baby dust to you amazing women xx

squigglyd

Hi everyone,
A bit disheartened at the moment myself. We had our second failed round of IVF in October and to be honest it nearly broke us as a couple. We were both so, so disappointed, heartbroken. It's just so hard. It didn't help that I was having some side effects afterwards, very forgetful and confused at times. I thought it was a side effect of the drugs but with a bit of distance now I think it was possibly a reaction to the trauma of the whole thing. Feeling much better physically now and trying to get fit and healthy again after having a complete break from all things ttc related from Oct to Christmas. We needed it for our own sanity, however it meant that we both piled on a few pounds.

Now it's time to start looking to the next treatment (at the time we both said 'never again' but that has changed). I'm in a couple of IVF/Fertility Facebook groups and it seems like people just do treatment after treatment. I'm shocked to be honest and not sure I would be able for that. Also looking at maybe trying a different clinic and/or going abroad next time. It's so hard to decide what to do for the best and time is not on our side (I'm 41 now).

Thanks for listening, just needed somewhere to put it all down out of my head.

Fingersandtoes

squigglyd wrote: »

Hi everyone,
A bit disheartened at the moment myself. We had our second failed round of IVF in October and to be honest it nearly broke us as a couple. We were both so, so disappointed, heartbroken. It's just so hard. It didn't help that I was having some side effects afterwards, very forgetful and confused at times. I thought it was a side effect of the drugs but with a bit of distance now I think it was possibly a reaction to the trauma of the whole thing. Feeling much better physically now and trying to get fit and healthy again after having a complete break from all things ttc related from Oct to Christmas. We needed it for our own sanity, however it meant that we both piled on a few pounds.

Now it's time to start looking to the next treatment (at the time we both said 'never again' but that has changed). I'm in a couple of IVF/Fertility Facebook groups and it seems like people just do treatment after treatment. I'm shocked to be honest and not sure I would be able for that. Also looking at maybe trying a different clinic and/or going abroad next time. It's so hard to decide what to do for the best and time is not on our side (I'm 41 now).

Thanks for listening, just needed somewhere to put it all down out of my head.

I had to reply. My failed IVF also nearly killed me mentally, physically, and financially. It also broke my husbands heart for weeks after to see how affected I was. We were devastated. I've had 5 failed IUIs and they were incredibly difficult but nothing compared to the failed IVF. Absolutely nothing. Mentally looking back I was a shadow of my self and it had an effect on me much greater than I thought at the time. That was in August 2017. Its actually only now we can think about doing IVF this year. I too wonder how people do numerous IVFs. Ive no advice just too look after yourself and your relationship. Feel free to pm if you want to chat. I understand exactly what you mean.

Fingersandtoes

squigglyd wrote: »

Hi everyone,
A bit disheartened at the moment myself. We had our second failed round of IVF in October and to be honest it nearly broke us as a couple. We were both so, so disappointed, heartbroken. It's just so hard. It didn't help that I was having some side effects afterwards, very forgetful and confused at times. I thought it was a side effect of the drugs but with a bit of distance now I think it was possibly a reaction to the trauma of the whole thing. Feeling much better physically now and trying to get fit and healthy again after having a complete break from all things ttc related from Oct to Christmas. We needed it for our own sanity, however it meant that we both piled on a few pounds.

Now it's time to start looking to the next treatment (at the time we both said 'never again' but that has changed). I'm in a couple of IVF/Fertility Facebook groups and it seems like people just do treatment after treatment. I'm shocked to be honest and not sure I would be able for that. Also looking at maybe trying a different clinic and/or going abroad next time. It's so hard to decide what to do for the best and time is not on our side (I'm 41 now).

Thanks for listening, just needed somewhere to put it all down out of my head.

I had to reply. My failed IVF also nearly killed me mentally, physically, and financially. It also broke my husbands heart for weeks after to see how affected I was. We were devastated. I've had 5 failed IUIs and they were incredibly difficult but nothing compared to the failed IVF. Absolutely nothing. Mentally looking back I was a shadow of my self and it had an effect on me much greater than I thought at the time. That was in August 2017. Its actually only now we can think about doing IVF this year. I too wonder how people do numerous IVFs. Ive no advice just too look after yourself and your relationship. Feel free to pm if you want to chat. I understand exactly what you mean.

Nerd Queen

It’s good to see a bit of activity on this thread but not that people are struggling. In terms of me looks like I had a chemical pregnancy last cycle but no way to be 100% cos I didn’t test. So taking the potential positives - we conceived even if it didn’t stick. We go again this cycle! Currently in the fertile period so fingers crossed!