Toddler sleeping routine

TheIronyMaiden

Hi guys, need your help with our current bedtime situation with our almost 2 year old. We have gotten ourselves into an awful habit with her at bedtime (please don't judge me, I know I messed up with this one :P) - basically to get her to sleep, one of us has to lie down with her until she falls asleep. Sometimes this can be 5 minutes, sometimes 2 hours. Once she does though she'll be out for the night (she's in a bed now).
I just can't get my head around putting her into bed and walking out while she falls asleep by herself. Anytime we've tried, she's just gotten out of the bed straight away and opened the door to come back out to us.
Does anyone have any advice for me?

We have another little girl coming in a few months so I'm keen to get this sorted before the new baby arrives! And yeah I know now what to avoid when putting number 2 down to sleep :P

rainbow kirby

We have the same problem - complete with baby brother! No advice but it is so bloody frustrating.

muttley-dps

Put a stair gate across the door so they can't leave the room. Then ignore if they're not crying.
We let them cry it out to get them sleeping so at the stage when they were out of the cot they knew what to expect.

Both son and daughter of ours got this treatment.
They might play a bit in their room but when tired enough they'll sleep.
Took the girl a few nights to sleep in her bed but eventually she made it.
The young fella climbs in every night.

Theboinkmaster

I agree - put stairgate at door and keep putting them back to bed again and again.

We moved 20 month old to own bed in August as #2 was due in October and had 2 weeks of hell sleep training him.

But now he sleeps 7-6 like clockwork and is happy with his new routine.

We also got a gro clock which works quite well.

I'd say most kids love routine so you just have to be determined to set a new one and would be very painful with lots of crying the first few days but you will get there, just have to stick to it.

TheIronyMaiden

muttley-dps wrote: »

Put a stair gate across the door so they can't leave the room. Then ignore if they're not crying.
We let them cry it out to get them sleeping so at the stage when they were out of the cot they knew what to expect.

Both son and daughter of ours got this treatment.
They might play a bit in their room but when tired enough they'll sleep.
Took the girl a few nights to sleep in her bed but eventually she made it.
The young fella climbs in every night.

Interesting, hadn't thought about a stair gate in the door frame. Thanks for your advice, I'm going to look into that sounds like it didn't take too long for your girl to get used to it, I'm going to cling onto that for my own :P

Theboinkmaster

TheIronyMaiden wrote: »

Interesting, hadn't thought about a stair gate in the door frame. Thanks for your advice, I'm going to look into that sounds like it didn't take too long for your girl to get used to it, I'm going to cling onto that for my own :P

i got one in argos for €20 or less and it's a pressure gate so can be removed very easily when you're done.

drunkmonkey

Another +1 for stairgate on the door, 2&3 yr old and both have them on the door, sometimes they kick up and start roaring but settle down after a few minutes and get into bed themsleves. Other times they'll be at at the door chatting to each other. We do open the older ones gate once he falls asleep incase he wakes up and need to go to the toilet or something.
It seem cruel but the alternative lack of sleep for everyone is cruler.
Haven't much longer left like this as there only a few weeks off figuring out the can pole vault over it the same way they managed it with the cot, they already have one leg over just haven't made the leap of faith yet.

mirrorwall14

Stairgate on the door here too until he was toilet trained. Still have a stairgate on the stairs as he has never bothered to figure out how to open it and he really has only one speed-fast

TheIronyMaiden

Thanks so much for the advice guys - really appreciate it. So stair gates definitely seem to be the way forward!
I'm going to look into the gro clocks as well, they look pretty good. She's obsessed with stars/sun/moon at the moment so think she'd really take to it.

bp

We had the same thing but used to wake up looking for us (everything had to be as they fell asleep e.g. landing light on had to stay on if they fell asleep with it on).

Anyway first few nights sitting on their bed until they fall asleep. No talking just "shhh now sleep time" (or something like that). Then sitting on the floor beside their bed for a few nights, then a few feet away, then at the door, then in the hall making noise (just walking around). You get the picture. Yes they did get out of bed but were walked right back in, kiss and shhh now. And walk back out. It took a few weeks but now its story, kiss and leave and we just go downstairs. They chat tont teddies then sleep. Keep it consistent e.g. two stories or whatever

shesty

Yes to stair gate and groclock here too.Actually I wasn't so concerned about her getting up at bedtime, it was more that she was an early riser and I had the horrors of her getting into the bathroom or down the stairs when the fancy took her some morning, without us knowing.Also tell her what you are going to do the day you institute new routine....tonight you are going to sleep in your bed with your bed (with teddies or whatever).....we will do bath/book etc, then you get into bed and mammy will give you a kiss and go out.
If you want you could sit in a chair beside the bed, gradually moving out onto the landing over a few nights to lessen it, but that's up to yourself.

Anne_cordelia

I am not into blocking them into their bedrooms with a stair gate personally. Bedroom and night time should be a pleasant experience and a nice place to be. We started moving away from lying beside ours to sitting on the bed, sitting on floor beside the bed, then sitting on a chair in the room, then leaving to go to the toilet and saying I’ll pop back to you when I’m finished, then going out to sort laundry on the landing and saying them we would go back in and give them a kiss etc. Always go back in even if they are asleep. it takes about 6 weeks but is nice and gentle and not upsetting for anyone. Now it’s story, kisses and walk out the door with no issues and has been for ages.

drunkmonkey

shesty wrote: »

I wasn't so concerned about her getting up at bedtime, it was more that she was an early riser and I had the horrors of her getting into the bathroom or down the stairs when the fancy took her some morning, without us knowing.

This is it one of ours is up at the crack of dawn and won't come into us, he's absolutely dangerous on his own. The one that gets his gate open will come in when he wakes up and jump into bed with you.
Would be great to get them in with no gate but unless your going to be up before them anything can happen. With the gate he might wake at 5, do a little protest and then get back into bed until 7ish.

scarepanda

Sorry if this is slightly off topic, but at what age normally do you move toddler into a bed?

drunkmonkey

scarepanda wrote: »

Sorry if this is slightly off topic, but at what age normally do you move toddler into a bed?

Ours was when they were able to climb out of the cot. Too dangerous to leave them in it when they can climb out.
You'll know it's time when you hear the thud.

scarepanda

drunkmonkey wrote:

Ours was when they were able to climb out of the cot. Too dangerous to leave them in it when they can climb out. You'll know it's time when you hear the thud.

Cheers! She's in sleep sacks at night so thankfully can't swing her leg over. She's figured out how to climb up the sides of the playpen when she's shoes on and swing the leg over.....great fun!

rainbow kirby

scarepanda wrote: »

Sorry if this is slightly off topic, but at what age normally do you move toddler into a bed?

My toddler bedshares with me so he's been in it since he moved out of the Chicco Next2Me around 7-8 months.

drunkmonkey

Ours went from the next2me to their own rooms. I don’t think it’s safe to have them in the bed with you let alone what it does to your love life.

Theboinkmaster

Anne_cordelia wrote: »

I am not into blocking them into their bedrooms with a stair gate personally. Bedroom and night time should be a pleasant experience and a nice place to be.

Stairgate on door does not make night time an unpleasant experience nor does it make the bedroom not a nice place to be.

You could say the same for safety belt in a car. It's a parents job to protect their children and teach them how to have a healthy routine and sleep well.

mirrorwall14

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Ours was when they were able to climb out of the cot. Too dangerous to leave them in it when they can climb out.
You'll know it's time when you hear the thud.

Ours was in a sleepsack. He figured out how to wiggle his hips up onto the edge and then tilt head first out of the cot. He literally landed on his head. Side came off the cot immediately!

scarepanda

mirrorwall14 wrote:

Ours was in a sleepsack. He figured out how to wiggle his hips up onto the edge and then tilt head first out of the cot. He literally landed on his head. Side came off the cot immediately!

Oh no mirrorwall! Don't tell me that ;-)!

mirrorwall14

scarepanda wrote: »

Oh no mirrorwall! Don't tell me that ;-)!

Ours never was one to be careful. We still have a stairgate on the stairs or I'd see him ending up head first down it!:eek:

scarepanda

Thankfully madam is very content in the cot so far. These days we don't know if she's awake when we go in to pick her up, and for the most part she's lying down wide awake cuddling with her two teddies! The cutest thing ever!

Boots234

We are going through a very bad phase (hopefully just a phase) with our small lady since she turned 18 months. She is almost 20 months now. She used to go down easily after a bottle at night and might wake and cry for 30 seconds during the night but fall back asleep herself.

We think the problem started when she began to wake and not go back to sleep until we brought her into our bed. Things have escalated now to a stage where she will only go to sleep in our bed with my wife both at the beginning of the night and during the night (she doesn't want me in the bed). We have tried leaving her cry but after an hour of continuous crying we have given up. At times she has made herself sick with the crying. We went through a phase of me going into the room and lying on a blanket pretending to go to sleep which worked for a while but not any more.

We don't know what to try. She is wrecked when she is going into the cot and obviously when she wakes up during the night but once she is brought into our bed she gets a new lease of life and will be jumping around the place. My wife is just after coming downstairs now at 10pm after we tried putting her down initially at 8.20. We just noticed tonight also that she is very close to being able to climb out of the cot which is going to be another issue!

We were thinking of contacting a sleep consultant but would anybody here have any suggestions as to what we should do? We would struggle through this ourselves but my wife is expecting our second child in November and would like to have this somewhat sorted if possible

drunkmonkey

That’s not working for anyone, she’s not getting enough sleep and ye must be shattered.
Stairgate, you might have to visit it a few times to calm her down but hopefully she gets it once she sees your around but she’s not coming out.
It’s tuff but it might start to get easier after a few nights, make the routine, brush the teeth, storytime, lights off. Tell her you’ll be back to check on her. She’ll probably kick off when your leave just keep putting her back in.
Worth a shot, it if not better in a week try something else.

shesty

Said it before here, their sleep goes funky round 20mths/2 years.At it with my own no.2 at the moment.Unfortunately, it's just up to you guys going in every 5/10 mins and resettling her.It's horrendous at 3am, believe me I know that....but it's by far the gentlest way, unless you are happy with her in your bed or whatever.She will cry but if you go back in 5 mins later and repeat she should settle eventually. First 2-3 nights will be tough.
Currently pregnant with my third due any day now, and there's a 21 mth gap between my first two....I can assure you if no.1 sleeps well, for you it is a heap of exhaustion off your shoulders.And theirs, because then their form is better in the day too.