Hes napping with his landlord

Sue1993

Hi, I am a 27 year old female nurse and have been dating my 29 year old boyfriend for the past 10 months. Things were going really great and on our 8 month anniversary he gave me a spare key to his apartment. The first time I used the key I ran out of the apartment distressed after catching him and his landlord/housemate (a 48 year old male who I really get on with) both in their underwear in his bed together. After not talking for days I finally heard him out. He told me that nothing happened between them and that they just like napping together. I find this odd but also didn't find it grounds to break up with him considering we really get on so well.

However, now that I know about it, its like he doesn't try to keep it from me anymore and its weirding me out. Whenever I show up to the house I always find the two of them spooning and napping. They stop as soon as I arrive, his landlord kisses me hello and goes into his own room, its all very casual to them. I have questioned him over if they have ever slept together before the nap and he has assured me that they haven't which I believe because I can see they are both "excited" in certain parts of their body when they wake up. I've suggested to him that maybe we can nap together instead of him and his roommate and he has told me that I am not as cuddly (I am quite a petite girl where his landlord is a very overweight man)

I just find this strange and don't know what my next move should be. Am I over reacting? Is he gay? Does he not like me enough? I just don't know what to do next and am too embarrassed to ask any friends or family

downwesht

Run.....Run........and don't look back.Surely you can see this as weird behaviour.....he definetly has issues.....you should have seen this straight away.......

Bambi985

What the absolute....

No. No this is weird. Definitely demand a full explanation and ask him outright if he’s gay/ bisexual

Katgurl

No, no, no.


You've only been with him ten months. His behaviour is weird and inappropriate and making you insecure (wondering if he likes you enough???). Also he doesn't care and instead of reassuring you he is continuing to do it.

I couldn't picture the situation so I instead imagined how I would feel had I come home to find my boyfriend napping (even on the couch nevermind in his bed) with his then landlady. Massively betrayed is the answer.

He should not be in bed with another person. Please cut your losses and leave.

OldMrBrennan83

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Subcomandante Marcos

He's either gay or bi but either way he's riding his landlord and cheating on you.

You’re 27, you refer to an 8 month anniversary and your boyfriend likes spooning with his 48 year old landlord, not even bothering to hide it from you... and you don’t know what to do?

This roast is well and truly overdone.

Dr_serious2

Sounds like a brilliant boyfriend and a stand-up guy. Marry him as quickly as you can.

Big Bag of Chips

If you found him "napping" with another girl would you be ok with it?

He's entitled to do whatever he wants, you're entitled to not be ok with it. For the record you're being made a fool of.

ceadaoin.

So he is regularly cuddling another guy in bed while they are both in their underwear and visibly "excited" and you have to ask on here if that's a bad sign?! Sounds like the "nap" is foreplay tbh. Even if he isn't cheating it's a very weird situation.

Sephiroth_dude

Creepy, you should have dumped his ass, if there was nothing going on he wouldn't have hidden it from you.

368100

Op, do you have regular sex with him? Does he make excuses not to?

Mongfinder General

If some big fat fecker was spooning my other half I’d be out of there in a shot. There is no way that they haven’t been bumming each other.

The Cool

Either this is made up from a dream or you need to RUN.

Sounds like you have a winning "weird ex" story from here on out!

shesty

Ehhhhhh....nope.Weird.And weirder that he seems to be ok with you seeing it.

Drop that one OP

Hitman3000

I remember a similar scene on Friends with Ross and Joey. Just loved to snooze together.

amcalester

Hitman3000 wrote: »

I remember a similar scene on Friends with Ross and Joey. Just loved to snooze together.

Not half naked while sporting a stiffy.

Hitman3000

amcalester wrote:

Not half naked while sporting a stiffy.

Maybe when the cameras were turned off......who knows.

Meauldsegosha

Sue1993 wrote: »

I have questioned him over if they have ever slept together before the nap and he has assured me that they haven't which I believe because I can see they are both "excited" in certain parts of their body when they wake up.

You're a 27 year old nurse and don't understand basic bodily functions. :eek:

Two grown ups, fully clothed, napping (not touching) on a one off basis I could maybe understand. But spooning semi-naked on a regular basis would not be acceptable. OP, I think you need to face facts that your boyfriend is sleeping with his landlord.

beertons

Was he late with the rent?

Big Bag of Chips

Why is his landlord kissing you hello as he gets out of your bf's bed semi-naked with an erection? Why did your bf give you a key to his landlord's house? How has your relationship been? Either they want you in on this as a threesome or your bf is trying to break up with you, you haven't been taking the hint so he asked the landlord for a bit of help!

Maryg3

368100 wrote: »

He could very well be Bi either....rather than to assume he's gay straight away. Its not black and white

Gay bí it's not the point that I'm trying to make across it doesn't matter what the hell he is. The fact is he gave her a key he was going to know at some time that she would walk in on him and his landlord so just be straight out with someone rather then let them catch you spoon your chubby friend!!!
MY intention was not to offend anyone I was just simply assuming he was weird with his actions not his sexuality!!!

Neyite

Mod:

Right, I've cleaned up this thread removing accusations of trolling and replies.

If you feel a thread or poster is not legit, report the post and let the mods deal with it, don't derail the thread by troll hunting.

osarusan

OP, even if there is no more going on than your boyfriend says*, you would hardly be in a minority by feeling very uncomfortable with it. Most people would be out of the relationship already I'd say. You are not overreacting at all, you've put up with more than most would.

Your boyfriend, too, can hardly be unaware of how unusual this is, and how uncomfortable it will make you feel, yet it comes across as if he seems to see it as a fairly trivial issue.

And finally, the bit about the housemate/landlord kissing you on his way to his own room? WTF is that even about anyway?


*you seem to think that his physical 'excitement' upon waking suggests that he is telling the truth, but I don't really see why you would see things that way.

sbsquarepants

This is the weirdest thing I think I have ever heard:eek:

I have no idea what the hell is going on, but in my humble experience spooning usually leads to forking. If you don't want to share - time to jog on.

D3V!L

sbsquarepants wrote: »

If you don't want to share - time to jog on.

Could the fact that he purposely let himself be "caught" be hinting at the fact that he wants her to find out and join in.

OP, confront him about it if you want to know what sort of game he is playing at. Straight men with girlfriends do not spoon with their male landlords.

ManOfMystery

At best, it's hugely inappropriate - both from a landlord/tenant perspective and also from the perspective that he's in a relationship. 

At worst, he's bucking his landlord - and it's time for you to think about impact of cheating, STIs, etc. 

Generally speaking, if it walks like a duck and swims like a duck and quacks like a duck .................. it's probably a duck. I'd be ending it if I was in your shoes.

Mongfinder General

D3V!L wrote: »

Could the fact that he purposely let himself be "caught" be hinting at the fact that he wants her to find out and join in.

OP, confront him about it if you want to know what sort of game he is playing at. Straight men with girlfriends do not spoon with their male landlords.

It could be an arrangement whereby there is a reduction in price of rent. Rent ain’t cheap these days. As for spooning I’d say there is no way it’s stopping at that. A 48 year old plumper would be taking full advantage of a 20 something.

sbsquarepants

D3V!L wrote: »

Could the fact that he purposely let himself be "caught" be hinting at the fact that he wants her to find out and join in.

OP, confront him about it if you want to know what sort of game he is playing at. Straight men with girlfriends do not spoon with their male landlords.

I don't know, I've suggested all manner of shenanigans to all manner of women over the years - but not once did I think, "I know.....if she just catches me naked with a fat man, she'll likely hop right on in and the good times will roll":D

Neyite

Mod:

Can we stop with the fat jokes aimed at the landlord please?

The LL's weight is irrelevant and frankly he's single and has no obligation to the OP - the boyfriend who was in his landlords bed, however, does.

OldMrBrennan83

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