Hes napping with his landlord

runningbuddy

WTF?? OP, your boyfriend is making a complete gob****e out of you. You must see that.

If you are okay with him having a sexual relationship with this man, that is fine but he is not being honest with you.

Neyite

Patww79 wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

No. The issue is whether or not her boyfriend is cheating.

That he's trying to excuse himself by citing his landlords weight is just that - a pathetic excuse.

Murdoc90

Good god! don't accept this behavior purely on the grounds of you 'get on well together'. You can find someone you get on well with who doesn't spoon their male landlord, or just landlord in general. Weird. And if they're not riding, I'd love to know how this activity came about. Were they just casually watching Coronation Street one night when one asked for a cuddle? WTF.

dudara

A reminder that posts in PI/RI are expected to be helpful, constructive and offer advise to the OP. Anything else will be removed or carded.

dudara

_Whimsical_

<snipped reply to troll>

OP just run. At worst he's having an affair right in front of you and doesn't think you are smart enough to realise it or he is just a real solid weirdo. If this is something he's willing to openly put out there as if it were normal you can be sure there's some very strange reveals awaiting you later in the relationship. If this one is bugging you, you can be sure what you'll find out later will not be for you.

nikkibikki

<snipped reply to troll>

OP, it is very strange behaviour. You are not comfortable with it. I don't blame you. It's quite hurtful in fact to say you are not cuddly. It's also bull****.

never_mind

OP, this is a horrible situation to be in... I would wonder if there is something going on because it's just too obvious? Maybe it's a case that they are just napping together in a platonic way but that in itself is very odd. You have tried to offer napping with your OH to replace the LL but this was rejected.

OP, don't drag this out and don't question him unnecessarily about it. You have enough evidence there to walk away and you should. You are a young woman with a lot of time to find someone else - go and be happy and find a guy that treats you with the respect you deserve. This current situation is toxic and bizarre.

LolaJJ

I feel like you posted this in the hope that someone might be able to justify this behavior as normal.
I'm sorry but it's not - AND your boyfriend knows it's not or it wouldn't be something that you discovered 8 months in.....

If he genuinely thinks this is an acceptable, honest and nonsexual thing - then surely it's something he would have been open about from day 1

My feeling would be - If he's been hiding this, then what else is he hiding.

It's sad that things were going well and now you're faced with it all collapsing down - but imagine how ****ty you'd feel to catch him at something else in a few more months - OR have to deal with a confession about sexual confusion in a few years.

It's really ****ty, but I'd say get out now.

Mrcaramelchoc

I didn't know there was such a thing as an 8 month anniversary?

Hitman3000

Mrcaramelchoc wrote:

I didn't know there was such a thing as an 8 month anniversary?

I know several nurses and have never heard any of them refer to an erection as 'excited'.

heretothere

Wow!! No that does not sound normal to me. I know some of the girls used to hop into bed with each other when we were in college/ staying over on nights out to cuddle when they were hung over and needy. Personally not my thing! But this sounds like a whole different level.

They are grown men, semi naked and have erections. It sounds like something else is going on. I don't even need to ask if it was a female land lady he was spooning with an erection would you be happy.

I would be breaking up with him ASAP he is more than likely cheating on you. Or if it hasn't gotten to that stage it probably will.

Clair4

What the hell did I just read, sorry op he sounds as though he is gay, and in fact cheating. It's not normal behaviour in any relationship, my advice would be to leave him.

georgina toadbum

Didn't this happen on an episode of Friends? Where two of the guys just liked napping together? Either way, it's weird.

Lollipops23

georgina toadbum wrote: »

Didn't this happen on an episode of Friends? Where two of the guys just liked napping together? Either way, it's weird.

Not almost naked and not in bed together.

georgina toadbum

Lollipops23 wrote: »

Not almost naked and not in bed together.

Yeh I hate to say it OP. But he's cheating on you.

never_mind

georgina toadbum wrote: »

Yeh I hate to say it OP. But he's cheating on you.

OP the more I think about it the more it makes sense that he is cheating on you. I would consider getting an STD check...

LegacyUser

OP, it's possible that he hasn't even admitted to himself that what he is doing is cheating or in any way sexual but let's be honest, curling up to sleep with someone is an extremely intimate act even if no sex occurs. Just because he sees nothing wrong with it does not mean that you have to agree. If it makes you uncomfortable there is little he can do to reverse that.

Fakediamond

I’d say he’s grooming you by seeing just what are you willing to tolerate. As others have said, there’s worse to come but by then he’s hoping you’ll accept it as he’s introduced you gradually.

WIZWEB

OP I'm a gay bloke and wouldn't be tolerating that crap from a partner whether their 'friend' be a male or female.

You're being disrespected by both. Time to call it a day to be honest.

jca

It certainly puts the phrase Rent boy into perspective. Drop this fella yesterday he's making a laugh of you.

FizzleSticks

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lawred2

Sue1993 wrote: »

Hi, I am a 27 year old female nurse and have been dating my 29 year old boyfriend for the past 10 months. Things were going really great and on our 8 month anniversary he gave me a spare key to his apartment. The first time I used the key I ran out of the apartment distressed after catching him and his landlord/housemate (a 48 year old male who I really get on with) both in their underwear in his bed together. After not talking for days I finally heard him out. He told me that nothing happened between them and that they just like napping together. I find this odd but also didn't find it grounds to break up with him considering we really get on so well.

<SNIP>

lol

He's bisexual. All good if you're ok with it. Not if you're not.

Sounds like you're not.

Time to find someone else.

amdublin

I've never heard of anyone napping with their landlord. It's the oddest thing I've ever heard in my whole life.

Op. You are either ok with it or not.

I wouldn't be. I would not want to be part of this picture. I'd be getting out of there pronto.

This is happening. It's not going to change. Time for you to decide if you are staying or not.

beefburrito

He sounds like a classic gaslighter.

From where I'm standing he's totally pulled the wool over your eyes...

TallGlass

Well.... That's enoght internet for tonight.

beefburrito

beefburrito wrote: »

He sounds like a classic gaslighter.

From where I'm standing he's totally pulled the wool over your eyes...

He's been pulling something alright :-)

kylith

So you came over and caught him in bed with someone and he somehow managed to convince you that nothing untoward was going on. Well, he's onto a good thing because now he barely even has to hide the fact that he's having sex with his landlord. I mean, come on! If you came in and he has a penis up his bum are you going to believe that it must have slipped up their accidentally while they were asleep.

Stop letting yourself be taken for a fool and give him his key and his marching orders.

dixiefly

<SNIP>

I am calling Troll on this.

Pretty ridiculous scenario which the OP would be justifiably appalled at if true. However, a week on and after a lot of comment on here the OP isn't seen for dust.

Mods should go ahead and close the thread as, without and further engagement from the OP, it's going nowhere.

dudara

@dixiefly - please leave the modding to the mods. If you suspect a post is not genuine please use Report Post and we will look into it.

Ironically you have bought the thread back to life by posting, whereas no one had posted for two days previously.

dudara

Heckler

I for one want to keep this thread alive because it hints of legendary.

Its the first thread I read on boards that had me both literally WTF ! and laughing out loud.

Please don't lock.

Advice to the OP ? Run far far away. When you get there take a breathe, stretch, have a sip of water. Done ? Keep on running.