Do I have grounds for a complaint (reg. job interview?)

TG1

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Why would you not use the word fragile?

For exactly this reason, i would use a phrase similar to what I was asked, because people are fragile or sensitive or however you want to put it and I wouldn't want the candidate to leave with a bad taste in their mouth.
But it's all about context, and it's a pity it's got to the point where someone takes fragile as an insult. In any interview anything said is in the context of a specific role. Some roles are going to be a struggle for sensitive/fragile people (and I say this as a sensitive person working in a role like that) and it does need to be discussed at interview stage.

Brian Lighthouse

Does anyone read between the lines anymore?

Interviewer - "You come across as fragile"

This is where you jump in and describe past experiences where it is clear that you are not fragile. This is where you assert yourself and prove to them that you are not.

The OP has told us nothing about the position, it could be for working behind a bar or it could be senior management whose team consists of a highly-skilled yet argumentative employee. It could even be for the firm's liaison with a union.

Don't think of it as an insult, it was an opportunity for you to demonstrate your ability to think on your feet and argue your corner (defend yourself) in a respectable and persuasive manner.

Anyway OP, mark it down to experience and be ready for the next test in an interview.

dudara

I would write a letter of complaint to HR. While you do not have grounds for complaint on the basis of the 9 discriminatory grounds, it was inappropriate and unprofessional. Any serious HR team would not want this kind of behaviour as it reflects poorly on their company and their ability to attract talent.

Long run - be thankful you are not working for a company that permits this.

davo10

dudara wrote: »

I would write a letter of complaint to HR. While you do not have grounds for complaint on the basis of the 9 discriminatory grounds, it was inappropriate and unprofessional. Any serious HR team would not want this kind of behaviour as it reflects poorly on their company and their ability to attract talent.

Long run - be thankful you are not working for a company that permits this.

I'd have to agree with some of the other posters, when they receive the letter of complaint, the interviewer will have a "told you so" attitude and assure HR they dodged a bullet by not hiring someone who is "fragile". The op had an opportunity to counter the interviewer assessment of him/her, instead he/she took to the interweb.

Minnie Snuggles

The first time I experienced a similar situation to the op it was for a job in credit control specifically collecting overdue accounts for 6 weeks. There were 15 candidates applying. I was told at the interview that I was far too soft for the position. My response was "if you give me a chance I will prove you wrong". The interviewer laughed. I started the following Monday.

I was very young at the time with very little experience and the job was a well paying one. When my 6 week contract was up they found another position for me and 6 weeks turned into 6 months. The only reason I left that job was because I was offered a permanent position with another company.

This was a fairly common tactic with interviewers to see how interested in the job you really were.

Dial Hard

Brian Lighthouse wrote:

Don't think of it as an insult, it was an opportunity for you to demonstrate your ability to think on your feet and argue your corner (defend yourself) in a respectable and persuasive manner.

Exactly. At the end of the interview where the manager said he thought I'd be difficult to manage, I asked why he thought that would be. He told me, I countered his concerns calmly and objectively and two days later I was offered the job. I didn't take it, but for money reasons, not because I had any issues with the interviewer.

Any "curveball" thrown at you is an opportunity to prove yourself. You may choose not to play them, you may decide they mean the company is not for you, but to decide that objective feedback such as being described as "fragile" is being insulted is beyond precious.

James 007

Brian Lighthouse wrote: »

Does anyone read between the lines anymore?

Interviewer - "You come across as fragile"

This is where you jump in and describe past experiences where it is clear that you are not fragile. This is where you assert yourself and prove to them that you are not.

The OP has told us nothing about the position, it could be for working behind a bar or it could be senior management whose team consists of a highly-skilled yet argumentative employee. It could even be for the firm's liaison with a union.

Don't think of it as an insult, it was an opportunity for you to demonstrate your ability to think on your feet and argue your corner (defend yourself) in a respectable and persuasive manner.

Anyway OP, mark it down to experience and be ready for the next test in an interview.

This is exactly what I taught too. Everyone else here seems to have taken the comments as an insult, move on etc. This is an interview, you are now put in the spotlight and need to address the question. The problem is people still expect to be asked the usual questions 'do you have any weaknesses'. You should of addressed the question starting by her/him judging your lack of expression, by stating i would never judge a book by its cover and progress to address the question asked turning it on its head.

Wake up and smell the coffee next time!!!

Mongfinder General

James 007 wrote: »

This is exactly what I taught too. Everyone else here seems to have taken the comments as an insult, move on etc. This is an interview, you are now put in the spotlight and need to address the question. The problem is people still expect to be asked the usual questions 'do you have any weaknesses'. You should of addressed the question starting by her/him judging your lack of expression, by stating i would never judge a book by its cover and progress to address the question asked turning it on its head.

Wake up and smell the coffee next time!!!

I’d tend to go the other way and allude to fragility in the interviewers work (if it’s an internal interview). You’re basically telling them to stick the job up their hole at that point. Insidious questions like the one posed to the op tells me that there’s probably another candidate favored.

fishy_fishy

Mongfinder General wrote: »

I’d tend to go the other way and allude to fragility in the interviewers work (if it’s an internal interview). You’re basically telling them to stick the job up their hole at that point. Insidious questions like the one posed to the op tells me that there’s probably another candidate favored.

Even so, to do nothing about it in the moment and then go online wringing your hands about being insulted and whether you should complain to HR is showing that there is merit to the fragility claim. Its also probably why, if there is a preferred candidate, the other person is preferred.

Anyone I know in work who I would consider fairly robust and not at all fragile would certainly address a comment like that in the moment.

Hang on a second,
I’m all for asking difficult questions, I’ll never try give someone an easy ride, but I’d never call an employee or a candidate “fragile”

Anyone who suggests this is ok is just treating people like ****.

If you can’t get skilled employees without insulting them at an interview, then don’t ask why you need to hire a replacement in the first place

Brian Lighthouse

@Brother Andy

I see the point you're making in your last post, however, we have only been supplied with one piece of information - The interviewer stated that the candidate came across as fragile. We have not been supplied with any contextual data which may colour our response and many of the responses appear to have been derived from each of the poster's personal experiences.

I and others read it as being a test of the candidate.
Others read it as being highly irregular conduct if it was an internal interview.
Other may have seen it as what might be termed a 'snowflake' reaction to a statement.

Either way, we don't know what position the interview was for, so I guess none of us were correct in our assumption of how the OP should deal with the situation.

In saying all this, I do believe that if you are being interviewed for a position and one where the chances of people attempting to persuade or browbeat you are high, then you should be tested in interview.

If you are being interviewed for a position where you will deal with no other persons apart from immediate colleagues then perhaps a test is not warranted.

Again, we had no context, no peg to hang our response on, so to speak.

B.A._Baracus

Hi op,
I get where you are coming from. Being called fragile is an insult and I think there may be an over reaction on here to this so far.

But nothing you can do. I get it that you took a few days reflecting on it and it's annoying you. Totally normal. But sending an email will just be laughed at by the person in question.

Live and learn and develop more of an instant reaction. If someone is calling you fragile after an interview you know right there you did not get the job without being told. Best to immediately give someone a piece of your mind if you feel so inclined.