Am I getting better looking or are women getting more desperate?

LETHAL LADY

Hammer89 wrote: »

Is it? No idea, I was just describing myself.

According to porn and Brian Kennedy it is Hammer89.

TheValeyard

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

I thought bear was gay terminology?

Suppose it depends on the context.

That bear over there with the martini is winking at you


That bear over there is running right at us!

LETHAL LADY

Murray TheDemonic TalkingSkull wrote: »

Suppose it depends on the context.

That bear over there with the martini is winking at you


That bear over there is running right at us!

Well that clears it up

Purple Mountain

You man wh*re.
Think of all that different saliva and sweat from 5 different people.

One eyed Jack

Hammer89 wrote: »

Maybe I'm being too hard on myself, but I think the women, at their age, might feel under societal pressures to find a man and start families, and therefore have abondoned certain preferences regarding the opposite sex. Would they have let me kiss them in their mid-20s for example? No, they would have knee'd me in the bollox in the belief that they could do better, but now desperation has set in and any man will do.

How is that being too hard on yourself? :pac:

Ahh no, honestly you're way over-thinking this thing, probably because you're putting it down to having lost weight and growing the beard, but it's likely you were always attractive to women, you just didn't see it before.

It's not that hard to imagine that just like straight men, straight women too have all sorts of preferences and tastes when it comes to what they find attractive in a man.

Mena Mitty

You know what they say, it takes a big hammer to drive a big nail.

Neon_Lights

You know what they say no pics or it didn't happen

suicide_circus

My experience from work is that a wedding ring increased my attractiveness to women by about 65%.

Mister Vain

tea and coffee wrote: »

Probably a confidence thing OP. When you're not coming across as desperate and gagging for it you are more approachable. In general, people are a bit more mature and self assured once they get into their 30s

This. Im a lot more confident in myself now that Im in my 30's. I dont try as hard. During my 20's I was like a dog with 10 willies.

fattymoon

Murray TheDemonic TalkingSkull wrote: »

Think its the whole not giving two f*cks anymore.

Are these women foreign OP? As I really don't believe Irish girls approach guys. I wish they did ... however from my own experience foreign girls have no problem approaching a guy on a night out.

CruelCoin

Being a strong independent woman gets old after a few years of walking down this isle in the supermarket.

Not saying you're low-lying fruit, but you're no longer premo-a-grade either.

sbsquarepants

I'm going to say the second one.

I'm 43 , haven't been single in quite a while but I did definitely notice a trend whereby it got easier and easier to get women as I aged. In my teens I practically had to abduct them, my 20's were hit and miss, my 30's was fish in a barrel, in fact they actually came to me at least as often as went looking for them - it was nothing less than a complete 360.
Now maybe I just upped my game, got all suave and well presented and shít, but I doubt it:D (I've never had a beard, so we can possibly rule that out as the mysterious fanny magnet too)
Leaving the likely culprit being nothing more than a healthy dose of hormone fuelled desperation - but hey, like yourself I'm more Bradley Wiggins than Bradley Cooper, so i'll take that, thank you very much.

My attitude is they can't all be the love of your life "you'll do" was good enough for me 99% of the time. It cuts both ways, no point being all precious about it.

professore

Greentopia wrote: »

What makes you think so many women are desperate? lots of women actually enjoy the single life and going out socialising with their girlfriends without being on the hunt for a man, shocking I know.

We're not living in the dark ages where an unmarried woman is seen as a 'spinster' and past it after the age of 35 any more. I was happily single for several years well into my forties. Desperate I certainly was not and I've had friends in a similar situation. And no, I'm not a Victoria Secret model but I'm attractive and I'm a genuine decent person and never had a problem getting a man and having long term relationships.

I've always felt I would rather be single for the rest of my life than 'settle' and be in a relationship or married with someone I wasn't completely happy with. And certainly not with a guy who thinks he's doing me a favour by being with me because he thinks I won't do any better at my age!

Oooh someone's been triggered

professore

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I'm going to say the second one.

I'm 43 , haven't been single in quite a while but I did definitely notice a trend whereby it got easier and easier to get women as I aged. In my teens I practically had to abduct them, my 20's were hit and miss, my 30's was fish in a barrel, in fact they actually came to me at least as often as went looking for them - it was nothing less than a complete 360.
Now maybe I just upped my game, got all suave and well presented and shít, but I doubt it:D (I've never had a beard, so we can possibly rule that out as the mysterious fanny magnet too)
Leaving the likely culprit being nothing more than a healthy dose of hormone fuelled desperation - but hey, like yourself I'm more Bradley Wiggins than Bradley Cooper, so i'll take that, thank you very much.

My attitude is they can't all be the love of your life "you'll do" was good enough for me 99% of the time. It cuts both ways, no point being all precious about it.

I got married at 25 but had the exact same experience leading up to 25 - and to a lesser extent after being married (no I didn't cheat) - and the less I tried the easier it was. Women prefer older men, who preferably are not interested in them, I think it really is that simple.

professore

One eyed Jack wrote: »

How is that being too hard on yourself? :pac:

Ahh no, honestly you're way over-thinking this thing, probably because you're putting it down to having lost weight and growing the beard, but it's likely you were always attractive to women, you just didn't see it before.

It's not that hard to imagine that just like straight men, straight women too have all sorts of preferences and tastes when it comes to what they find attractive in a man.

Imagine saying that to a woman "it's likely you were always attractive to men but didn't see it before" Makes zero sense. It does for a man however. And they say gender is a social construct

D3V!L

professore wrote: »

I got married at 25 but had the exact same experience leading up to 25 - and to a lesser extent after being married (no I didn't cheat) - and the less I tried the easier it was. Women prefer older men, who preferably are not interested in them, I think it really is that simple.

Very true. Being a middle aged white male its the only thing we have going for us.

I'm 6ft 4 myself and like the OP have gone from about 15 stone to around 18. My wife doesn't like me when I'm too skinny and at 15 stone I would be. Women like bigger men, simple.

One eyed Jack

professore wrote: »

Imagine saying that to a woman "it's likely you were always attractive to men but didn't see it before" Makes zero sense. It does for a man however. And they say gender is a social construct

I've said it to women before :pac:

It absolutely makes sense like, just as there are as many men who lament their lack of attraction to the opposite sex, so too are there just as many women who feel the same way.

Why wouldn't they? Cosmetics and media companies have been preying on women's insecurities about their appearance for decades, and now they're doing the same for men. I can't go into the local convenience store now without walking past the stacks of barrels of whey and protein powders, bars and shakes. That's before we even mention the rise in sales of male cosmetics like moisturisers!

venusdoom

From a ladies point of view here, if you look like you could fit easily into the cast of Vikings, you're in fashion these days. Embrace it. Maybe stick a little plait in that fine beard of yours and watch the ladies swoon..

Hammer89

professore wrote: »

I got married at 25 but had the exact same experience leading up to 25 - and to a lesser extent after being married (no I didn't cheat) - and the less I tried the easier it was. Women prefer older men, who preferably are not interested in them, I think it really is that simple.

I'm not an older bloke though, which a lot of people are overlooking. I'm late 20s, and most, if not all, of these women were older than me I reckon.

optogirl

mojesius wrote: »

You sound like Carrie Bradshaw OP

Meanwhile, across town....

Hammer89

venusdoom wrote: »

From a ladies point of view here, if you look like you could fit easily into the cast of Vikings, you're in fashion these days. Embrace it. Maybe stick a little plait in that fine beard of yours and watch the ladies swoon..

The nightclub would have to cover the dancefloor with a tarp if that happened, much like they do at Wimbledon on a rainy day.

CastielJ

some women are very desperate with age and afraid to stay lonely

Debtocracy

No you're not getting betting looking. It’s not that women are getting desperate, it’s that the effect of hypergamy lessens after 30.

So hypergamy is at its most extreme at a women’s peak attractiveness, let’s say about 22. If we categorise people into deciles of attractiveness, we should see the following patterns for relationships at this age:

10/10 man - 10/10 woman
9/10 man – 7/10 woman
8/10 man – 5/10 woman
7/10 man – 4/10 woman
6/10 man – 3/10 woman
5/10 man – 2/10 woman

Now hypergamy works fine when most people are single. Basically, the top 20% of men can get with 50%+ of woman through short-term relationships or hook-ups. The problem for hypergamy occurs when people start pairing into monogamous long-term relationships. The 1:1 gender ratio kicks in and women have to start settling for men closer to their own attractiveness level.

If you're a man it makes sense to wait a bit longer to start a long-term relationship. The chances of having a relationship with an attractive, intelligent girl at 22 is very slim – she’ll be in demand from guys from 1/10 - 10/10 and from guys aged 18 to 40. However, such a relationship can become realistic at 32 when you’re no longer competing with most of the ‘good men’ and she’ll probably won’t go for guys under 30. So good things come to those who wait… except if you’re a woman.

Mongfinder General

CastielJ wrote: »

some women are very desperate with age and afraid to stay lonely

True story. A single lady on the wrong side of 30 has been watching her friends pair off/get married/have kids for the past few years. A sense of anxiety can easily set in and suddenly they’re considering options that they never would have previously. As for us guys, we’re happy just to blow the muck a couple of times a week. No panic with age.

Avatar MIA

Debtocracy wrote: »

No you're not getting betting looking. It’s not that women are getting desperate, it’s that the effect of hypergamy lessens after 30.

So hypergamy is at its most extreme at a women’s peak attractiveness, let’s say about 22. If we categorise people into deciles of attractiveness, we should see the following patterns for relationships at this age:

10/10 man - 10/10 woman
9/10 man – 7/10 woman
8/10 man – 5/10 woman
7/10 man – 4/10 woman
6/10 man – 3/10 woman
5/10 man – 2/10 woman

Now hypergamy works fine when most people are single. Basically, the top 20% of men can get with 50%+ of woman through short-term relationships or hook-ups. The problem for hypergamy occurs when people start pairing into monogamous long-term relationships. The 1:1 gender ratio kicks in and women have to start settling for men closer to their own attractiveness level.

If you're a man it makes sense to wait a bit longer to start a long-term relationship. The chances of having a relationship with an attractive, intelligent girl at 22 is very slim – she’ll be in demand from guys from 1/10 - 10/10 and from guys aged 18 to 40. However, such a relationship can become realistic at 32 when you’re no longer competing with most of the ‘good men’ and she’ll probably won’t go for guys under 30. So good things come to those who wait… except if you’re a woman.

There's a lot of sense in this post.

the purple tin

The woman could have been ovulating. Experiments have shown that while a woman is ovulating she will be attracted to a more masculine type of man ie a big beardy lump of a fella like the op.

Hammer89

the purple tin wrote: »

The woman could have been ovulating. Experiments have shown that while a woman is ovulating she will be attracted to a more masculine type of man ie a big beardy lump of a fella like the op.

So, subconsciously they want my babies.

Cee-Jay-Cee

Sorry to burst your bubble OP but you’re fatter and therefore easier to see in nightclubs especially when the women are pissed.

Hammer89

If that were true then fat lads would be swimming in gee at the nightclubs.

Jim Bob Scratcher

suicide_circus wrote: »

My experience from work is that a wedding ring increased my attractiveness to women by about 65%.

Is this actually true? and if so why?

topper75

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

Is this actually true? and if so why?

Possibly because, up against fellas who have no visible track record of commitment whatsoever, the ring guy always looks a better deal. He has plunged at least once. Maybe he'll ditch that one and do it with me if I flirt just right.

facehugger99

Was probably the drink OP.

Drink gives you all kinds of superpowers.

I'm funnier, more attractive and smarter when I've had a few drinks.

I also know kung-fu and am able to run through hedges for some reason.

Drink is great.

Hammer89

topper75 wrote: »

Possibly because, up against fellas who have no visible track record of commitment whatsoever, the ring guy always looks a better deal. He has plunged at least once. Maybe he'll ditch that one and do it with me if I flirt just right.

Plausible, but women can also be susceptible to big cheating bastards so that might be a factor too.

Avatar MIA

topper75 wrote: »

Possibly because, up against fellas who have no visible track record of commitment whatsoever, the ring guy always looks a better deal. He has plunged at least once. Maybe he'll ditch that one and do it with me if I flirt just right.

I've found it the opposite, I've been approached out and will flirt with the best of them if a girl I would fancy comes up to me, but I'd never actually hide the fact I wear a ring*.

*Okay strictly speaking that's a lie, once or twice I might have left my left hand in my pocket, but they suss that soon enough. One time I got daggers when they found out as if I'd betrayed them. They came up to me! :rolleyes: I do miss that flirty bit and goddam it, I'm only going to become more of a catch after I pile on the weight! It's not fair I tell ya!

the purple tin

Hammer89 wrote: »

So, subconsciously they want my babies.

It's possible. Female mammals will usually mate with the biggest most virile male so they can have big healthy babies.
And it sounds like the ladies might have been after a one night stand rather than a long term relationship.

Hammer89

the purple tin wrote: »

It's possible. Female mammals will usually mate with the biggest most virile male so they can have big healthy babies.
And it sounds like the ladies might have been after a one night stand rather than a long term relationship.

Little did they know that there was more chance of them getting an accurate lyric from Despacito out of me than a single sperm that night

Autecher

If the result of all this in depth analysis is actually that women are getting more desperate then please somebody let me know when they are desperate enough to throw a shag my way. Thanks in advance.

pumpkin4life

Debtocracy wrote: »

No you're not getting betting looking. It’s not that women are getting desperate, it’s that the effect of hypergamy lessens after 30.

So hypergamy is at its most extreme at a women’s peak attractiveness, let’s say about 22. If we categorise people into deciles of attractiveness, we should see the following patterns for relationships at this age:

10/10 man - 10/10 woman
9/10 man – 7/10 woman
8/10 man – 5/10 woman
7/10 man – 4/10 woman
6/10 man – 3/10 woman
5/10 man – 2/10 woman

Now hypergamy works fine when most people are single. Basically, the top 20% of men can get with 50%+ of woman through short-term relationships or hook-ups. The problem for hypergamy occurs when people start pairing into monogamous long-term relationships. The 1:1 gender ratio kicks in and women have to start settling for men closer to their own attractiveness level.

If you're a man it makes sense to wait a bit longer to start a long-term relationship. The chances of having a relationship with an attractive, intelligent girl at 22 is very slim – she’ll be in demand from guys from 1/10 - 10/10 and from guys aged 18 to 40. However, such a relationship can become realistic at 32 when you’re no longer competing with most of the ‘good men’ and she’ll probably won’t go for guys under 30. So good things come to those who wait… except if you’re a woman.

Unless you're small, a baldie or socially awkward, in which case you can't really afford to wait.

topper75

the purple tin wrote: »

It's possible. Female mammals will usually mate with the biggest most virile male so they can have big healthy babies.
And it sounds like the ladies might have been after a one night stand rather than a long term relationship.

No harm glancing over shoulders now and then to check how other mammals approach things for comparison sake.

But you don't allow 'other mammals' to write your behaviour rule book. We are humans!

Otherwise you'd be pissing on every odd rock and lamppost you saw and banging heads with other lads in woods of an autumn evening.

professore

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I've said it to women before :pac:

It absolutely makes sense like, just as there are as many men who lament their lack of attraction to the opposite sex, so too are there just as many women who feel the same way.

Why wouldn't they? Cosmetics and media companies have been preying on women's insecurities about their appearance for decades, and now they're doing the same for men. I can't go into the local convenience store now without walking past the stacks of barrels of whey and protein powders, bars and shakes. That's before we even mention the rise in sales of male cosmetics like moisturisers!

If you are an average or below average looking woman, men will hit on you, even if you are a failure in life and unable to string two coherent sentences together. In fact the latter might be an advantage to some men. You don't need to be TOLD you are attractive to men, the evidence is right there in front of you.

A man has to be rich, famous, really good looking, spin a good line of bull**** or some combination of all four to get actively hit on. He has to make the first move and get a good wallop of rejection.

End of story.

the purple tin

topper75 wrote: »

No harm glancing over shoulders now and then to check how other mammals approach things for comparison sake.

But you don't allow 'other mammals' to write your behaviour rule book. We are humans!

Otherwise you'd be pissing on every odd rock and lamppost you saw and banging heads with other lads in woods of an autumn evening.

Try hanging round town on a saturday night when the niteclubs are herding them out :P

Hammer89

professore wrote: »

If you are an average or below average looking woman, men will hit on you, even if you are a failure in life and unable to string two coherent sentences together.

Agree with this. This is why that 'A girl can ride three lads and be a slut, but if a lad rides three girls then he's a legend' argument doesn't really expose an hypocrisy, because it's far more difficult for a lad to pull than it is for a woman. Unless you're me, in which case it's as easy as turning up, dancing and sweating profusely on potential mates.

Potatoeman

Debtocracy wrote: »

No you're not getting betting looking. It’s not that women are getting desperate, it’s that the effect of hypergamy lessens after 30.

So hypergamy is at its most extreme at a women’s peak attractiveness, let’s say about 22. If we categorise people into deciles of attractiveness, we should see the following patterns for relationships at this age:

10/10 man - 10/10 woman
9/10 man – 7/10 woman
8/10 man – 5/10 woman
7/10 man – 4/10 woman
6/10 man – 3/10 woman
5/10 man – 2/10 woman

Now hypergamy works fine when most people are single. Basically, the top 20% of men can get with 50%+ of woman through short-term relationships or hook-ups. The problem for hypergamy occurs when people start pairing into monogamous long-term relationships. The 1:1 gender ratio kicks in and women have to start settling for men closer to their own attractiveness level.

If you're a man it makes sense to wait a bit longer to start a long-term relationship. The chances of having a relationship with an attractive, intelligent girl at 22 is very slim – she’ll be in demand from guys from 1/10 - 10/10 and from guys aged 18 to 40. However, such a relationship can become realistic at 32 when you’re no longer competing with most of the ‘good men’ and she’ll probably won’t go for guys under 30. So good things come to those who wait… except if you’re a woman.

There are also other factors at play too. There are more single men than single women under 29 but there are more single women than men from 30+. This because more women date older guys, more men die younger and more men remove themselves from that dating market.

In the U.S. surveys show that most women prefer men that are 3-5 years older. Where men are more attracted to women in their early to mid twenties consistently at every age.

KERSPLAT!

mojesius wrote: »

You sound like Carrie Bradshaw OP

Such a Samantha thing to say.

defrule

Debtocracy wrote: »

No you're not getting betting looking. It’s not that women are getting desperate, it’s that the effect of hypergamy lessens after 30.

So hypergamy is at its most extreme at a women’s peak attractiveness, let’s say about 22. If we categorise people into deciles of attractiveness, we should see the following patterns for relationships at this age:

10/10 man - 10/10 woman
9/10 man – 7/10 woman
8/10 man – 5/10 woman
7/10 man – 4/10 woman
6/10 man – 3/10 woman
5/10 man – 2/10 woman

Now hypergamy works fine when most people are single. Basically, the top 20% of men can get with 50%+ of woman through short-term relationships or hook-ups. The problem for hypergamy occurs when people start pairing into monogamous long-term relationships. The 1:1 gender ratio kicks in and women have to start settling for men closer to their own attractiveness level.

If you're a man it makes sense to wait a bit longer to start a long-term relationship. The chances of having a relationship with an attractive, intelligent girl at 22 is very slim – she’ll be in demand from guys from 1/10 - 10/10 and from guys aged 18 to 40. However, such a relationship can become realistic at 32 when you’re no longer competing with most of the ‘good men’ and she’ll probably won’t go for guys under 30. So good things come to those who wait… except if you’re a woman.

This makes me so happy!

Greentopia

professore wrote: »

Oooh someone's been triggered

Triggered when I see the word triggered.

Hammer89 wrote: »

Would you be interested in a bear who smells like smoke and Jagerbombs by any chance?

Too late Hammer, I have my own boozy smelling bear sitting beside me.

And in answer to your question- pretty hard to tell without a photo but if your confidence has increased and you've become more self accepting of any flaws as you've aged I'd say that has more to do with your increased luck with the ladies.

Greentopia

Potatoeman wrote: »

In the U.S. surveys show that most women prefer men that are 3-5 years older. Where men are more attracted to women in their early to mid twenties consistently at every age.

Life expectancy is four years less for men than for women (in Ireland) so it makes more logical sense for women to go for younger men really.

They may be more attracted to women in their twenties but it doesn't mean they'll have any success with them if they don't stack up to what women that age want. But you're taking data from the U.S. anyway where money, status and looks are everything so it's hardly an example of a healthy example to go by.

Hammer89

Greentopia wrote: »

Too late Hammer, I have my own boozy smelling bear sitting beside me.

Fair enough, but if you ever want to stroke a decent beard and feel disappointed sexually then you know where to find me.

retired00

Greentopia wrote: »

Triggered when I see the word triggered.



Too late Hammer, I have my own boozy smelling bear sitting beside me.

And in answer to your question- pretty hard to tell without a photo but if your confidence has increased and you've become more self accepting of any flaws as you've aged I'd say that has more to do with your increased luck with the ladies.

it's whats on the inside that counts

seanrambo87

Sir, by my standards you are a bit sad. Not by your preference but by how you judge yourself. I think you are looking to be emotionally massaged. I think also you are looking for comrades in your cause. I hope I'm not as emotionally insecure as yourself when I'm your age. (30 y.o. at time of print)
Please don't take this as criticism but we're different and it's no harm to digest differing opinions.