Dungeons and Dragons - Attack of the Colossi

Fourier

The alarms had been raised throughout the city of Lamarius, the giant battleship had enter the skies over the city three days ago. Now it had started releasing zombies into the streets, already thousands had died as the zombie horde tore through the city.

The city guard had only one choice, send heroes into the battleship to shut down whoever was responsible.

They had summoned several heroes to aid the city, many responded. Now Tymca, the Captain guard asked the first few to come forth to his platform at the top of the city walls.....

Necro

Tolliric stands to attention in front of Tymca (and boy does he look good in uniform)

'Yes sir! Tolliric here, willing and able!'

sKeith

Buwin runs up to Captain Tymca, "I'm ready, get me into the action"

Banjo

Wary of the manfolk city, Glywin the elf scales the outer wall to reach the platform.

Fourier

Tolliric stands to attention in front of Tymca (and boy does he look good in uniform)

'Yes sir! Tolliric here, willing and able!'

"Shut it Tolliric, no exposition here. We've two ways up to that Fortress, we fire you from a cannon, or you fight your way onto one of their zombie drop ships, hijack it and fly it back up.

Your choice."

Fourier

Banjo wrote: »

Wary of the manfolk city, Glywin the elf scales the outer wall to reach the platform.

Tymca turns.

"No parkour in my city. Cannon or dropship, your choice and make it fast. 5,000 zombies are about to breach this platform in ten minutes."

quickbeam

Dodderic saunters confidently up. "Alright Cap, here to help dude."

Banjo

I trust not your steel Cannon. But I'm also afraid of zombies. Fire me up there sir!

Fourier

quickbeam wrote: »

Dodderic saunters confidently up. "Alright Cap, here to help dude."

"Alright, somebody who understands order and respect.

So fight your way onto their zombie drop ships or we fire you from the cannon as I mentioned to that other guy. Either way will get you dead or on their battleship."

Necro

Fourier wrote: »

"Shut it Tolliric, no exposition here. We've two ways up to that Fortress, we fire you from a cannon, or you fight your way onto one of their zombie drop ships, hijack it and fly it back up.

Your choice."

'No Cannon please sir! Last time you did that I couldn't sit right for two weeks!

Point me to the zombie ship and I'll hack them down!'

Fourier

Banjo wrote: »

I trust not your steel Cannon. But I'm also afraid of zombies. Fire me up there sir!

"Alright you sure, take a look at the cannon"

The cannon company's statistics bureau has left a note saying '37% chance of misfire'

sKeith

Buwin climbs head fisrt into the first cannon he sees.

quickbeam

I've got my Elvish sword at the ready with ten score zombie names on it. Ready to fight, Cap.

Banjo

Fourier wrote: »

"Alright you sure, take a look at the cannon"

The cannon company's statistics bureau has left a note saying '37% chance of misfire'

"Tis the will of the forest! Light the fuse sirrah, I shall away, to the skies or the west...."

Somewhere a lyre plays a delicate melody

Fourier

Necrominus wrote: »

'No Cannon please sir! Last time you did that I couldn't sit right for two weeks!

Point me to the zombie ship and I'll hack them down!'

"Point you? You idiot the dropships already here."

One hundred zombies descend from a drop ship onto Tolliric. Does he fight through the crowd of five zombies in front of him or attempt to leap onto their heads to get to the dropship?

Fourier

sKeith wrote: »

Buwin climbs head fisrt into the first cannon he sees.

Buwin is fired across the sky, straight onto the battleship. He lands in a rock garden with a scroll sitting on top of one of the rocks.

Quickly reading it, he sees it is a spell for animating rock into a Golem, though part of the spell is corrupted.

Fourier

Banjo wrote: »

"Tis the will of the forest! Light the fuse sirrah, I shall away, to the skies or the west...."

Somewhere a lyre plays a delicate melody

Glywin lands in the same garden as Buwin.

Necro

Fourier wrote: »

"Point you? You idiot the dropships already here."

One hundred zombies descend from a drop ship onto Tolliric. Does he fight through the crowd of five zombies in front of him or attempt to leap onto their heads to get to the dropship?

Attempts the leap, of course. And Tolliric is a she, dammit!

sKeith

Buwin attemps to cast the corrupted animate rocks into golem spell and command whatever happens to animate to attack zombies.

quickbeam

Dodderic sits sharpening his sword with anticipation of the rotten blood it will shortly spill.

Fourier

Necrominus wrote: »

And Tolliric is a she, dammit!

Enraged by the gods' misuse of pronouns Tolliric leaps into the air and grabs on the dropship ramp, pulls herself up and flips onboard.

The single demon pilot is not aware of her presence.

Banjo

"after you, sir" the elf says, gesturing to the scroll. Then he checks himself for weapons and composes an ode to his beauty.

Necro

quickbeam wrote: »

Dodderic sits sharpening his sword with anticipation of the rotten blood it will shortly spill.

OOC (Out of Character post): You're a natural :P

Fourier

quickbeam wrote: »

Dodderic sits sharpening his sword with anticipation of the rotten blood it will shortly spill.

Dodderic sees that the Female fighter has jumped onto the dropship and he fights his way through the zombies, slitting open their throats, killing three in total, before he also gets onboard.

Necro

Fourier wrote: »

Enraged by the gods' misuse of pronouns Tolliric leaps into the air and grabs on the dropship ramp, pulls herself up and flips onboard.

The single demon pilot is not aware of her presence.

Tolliric attacks the demon pilot with the force of ten thousand outraged women.

Fourier

Banjo wrote: »

"after you, sir" the elf says, gesturing to the scroll. Then he checks himself for weapons and composes an ode to his beauty.

His beauty undeniable, Buwin cries at its perfection.

Fourier

Necrominus wrote: »

Tolliric attacks the demon pilot with the force of ten thousand outraged women.

The pilot is male of course. Tolliric strikes the demon's head and a blow for women's representation in dropship piloting in one go and grabs the controls.

Banjo

"juxtaposed with each sculpted cheek,
These nostrils which doth scent your reek
Fulsome lips like two pink cushions,
Against which you wish your bits were pushin'"

Fourier

OOC: quickbeam, this is sort of nuts compared to a normal game, but you're already doing great!

quickbeam

Dodderic feels the sexual tension building between Glywin and Tolliric and backs away slowly to give them their privacy.......

Fourier

Banjo wrote: »

"juxtaposed with each sculpted cheek,
These nostrils which doth scent your reek
Fulsome lips like two pink cushions,
Against which you wish your bits were pushin'"

Though undeniably true, the song is interrupted when a frost elemental charges into the garden and blasts ice at Glywin.

The blast however shatters against Glywin's skin.

Banjo

Glywin thrusts his crotch at the elemental.
He has a prosthetic penis that is also an arcane focus. Even if you don't need one in this game. Fireball!

Necro

Tolliric grabs the helm.

'For Lamarius!'

OOC: Where am I going :P

Fourier

Tolliric flies herself and Dodderic onto the same garden and lands on the Frost elemental, making the actions of others irrelevant.

quickbeam

Dodderic wonders where Tolliric is going. That fool of a woman can't even read maps!!

Fourier

Banjo wrote: »

Glywin thrusts his crotch at the elemental.
He has a prosthetic penis that is also an arcane focus. Even if you don't need one in this game. Fireball!

With the Frost elemental gone, Glywin's enraged member and the fireball within have no target. It detonates, along with its owner.

quickbeam

Dodderic looks around the garden.

"Pffft flowers! - what a waste!!! Wonder if there are any hidden doors around here?"

Banjo

Glywin tries to put his wand away but the damage to his trews is permanent. His impressive arcane rod is on display for the rest of the game

Necro

Tolliric leaps from the ship and thrusts her sword toward its.....chest.

Fourier

quickbeam wrote: »

Dodderic looks around the garden.

"Pffft flowers! - what a waste!!! Wonder if there are any hidden doors around here?"

Dodderic finds a plumbing pipe that seems to skip a few levels hidden in the bushes.

Banjo

Glywin drops into the pipe feet first

Fourier

Banjo wrote: »

Glywin drops into the pipe feet first

Is what he hallucinates as he lies dying.

sKeith

Buwin picks up some rocks and throws them at the nearest zombies that he sees.

Fourier

Necrominus wrote: »

Tolliric leaps from the ship and thrusts her sword toward its.....chest.

The Frost giant looks out from the ship wreckage.

"Oh wow, a female fighter, yeah you're definitely going to kill me."

Tolliric ignores him as she strikes another blow against gender essentialism in fantasy.

Banjo

Fourier wrote: »

Is what he hallucinates as he lies dying.

Ooc : Sorry, missed that
"I died.... *Cough*... As I lived... With a burning sensation in my Langer.... But I must *splutter*... Tell you a terrible secr...uhnnnnnnnn"

Fourier

Banjo wrote: »

Ooc : Sorry, missed that
"I died.... *Cough*... As I lived... With a burning sensation in my Langer.... But I must *splutter*... Tell you a terrible secr...uhnnnnnnnn"

What dark secrets lie within that now sundered groin the others wonder.

Necro

Tolliric looks around for the rest of her party.

'Where to next? My sword is thirsty for more!'

She looks around, a little worried about that last statement lest her female captain, Lolly Neil have heard her sexist remark.

quickbeam

Dodderic peeks in to the pipe and beholds a foul smell from within. He covers his face and jumps in to await his fate from the unspeakable creatures he might find.

Fourier

Necrominus wrote: »

She looks around, a little worried about that last statement lest her female captain, Lolly Neil have heard her sexist remark.

Assuming the gendered notion of implicit cardinal directions, Tolliric realises that there is a weed garden to her left, a giant building to her North and the pipe Dodderic found within the garden.

Fourier

quickbeam wrote: »

Dodderic peeks in to the pipe and beholds a foul smell from within. He covers his face and jumps in to await his fate from the unspeakable creatures he might find.

He slides into a modern looking room with a blue dragon vomiting water into a fountain feature and little else besides an information kiosk.

Necro

Fourier wrote: »

Assuming the gendered notion of implicit cardinal directions, Tolliric realises that there is a weed garden to her left, a giant building to her North and the pipe Dodderic found within the garden.

Tolliric follows Dodderic down the waste pipe, but protests profusely about it the whole way. She even thinks of a witty placard for a future protest, but it is lost to her with the smell.