Dungeons and Dragons - Attack of the Colossi

Fourier

Necrominus wrote: »

Tolliric salutes the OldGoat.

'Kind goat, I am being attacked by my comrades. Would you stand with me in combat if I am not able to talk them down?'

He looks up.

"Definitely. I'll show these Giant Wereshark bastards that you can teach an OldGoat new tricks."

He transforms into a sick ripped OldGoat.

sKeith

quickbeam wrote: »

"Arrrgh, the pretty lady has run away from us."

"nice spot, so the pretty lady is the one who massacred my friend, pretty or not, vengenance must be sought."

quickbeam

Gholfin follows the lady from the room, "coming mister, or just going to hang around all day?" he said to Irverk.

Necro

Tolliric feigns a scream.

'Please! This WereGoat attacked my friends! Help me!'

sKeith

Irverk casts mending on Buwins remains.

Fourier

sKeith wrote: »

Irverk casts mending on Buwins remains.

The spell halts halfway. Useless on flesh it would seem, but unspent.

quickbeam

"Ha, ha, fool!!!!"

sKeith

Irverk runs after gholfin, "i'm right here"

sKeith

quickbeam wrote: »

"Ha, ha, fool!!!!"

"Fools do what fools do"

quickbeam

Irverk and Gholfin catch up with Tolliric.

Fourier

A wave of zombies until now inexlicably absent from the narrative enter the room.

10, no 100 of them.

Gholfin rips off his shirt and shouts "I HAVE THE POWER"

The wave that erupts from him levels the zombies, but Gholfin falls over his nose bleeding.

His last words are...

Necro

Tolliric sighs.

She will have to fight her way out of this one.

She begins to transform, morphing her powers into one.

A Super Saiyan... feminist.... Werewolf.

'You shall never leave this room alive!'

She lunges at Gholfin

Fourier

Fourier wrote: »

A wave of zombies until now inexlicably absent from the narrative enter the room.

10, no 100 of them.

Gholfin rips off his shirt and shouts "I HAVE THE POWER"

The wave that erupts from him levels the zombies, but Gholfin falls over his nose bleeding.

His last words are...

Not his last words, but badass fight starting words...

Fourier

OldGoat plunges into the ensuing melee

quickbeam

<Cough, cough> "Avenge me you feckers, avenge me from the ...." <cough> "... bastard zombies." <cough, cough>


<Dies>


All the world mourns the passing of the asshole cleric.

Fourier

Necrominus wrote: »

A Super Saiyan... feminist.... Werewolf.

She attains "Simone de Beauvoir" mode.

sKeith

Irverk sneaks silently to the side to watch the ensueing conflict.

Necro

The transmorphed Tolliric turns to Irvek and growls.

'Work together? Kill all men... I mean... zombies?'

She dives into the horde.

Fourier

Though Gholfin dies fighting the zombies, he puts an incredible show in the ensuing melee. However it is no match for Super Simone de Beauvoir 3.

Tolliric blasts the remaining zombies apart with her most powerful attack "Second Wave".

Necro

Tolliric turns to Irvek again.

'There was a tiger in the previous room. You should ask him to accompany us and OldWereGoat here. We are in dire need of a larger party.'

Tolliric looks for any exits to the room they are now in.

sKeith

irverk wanders out form the sidelines, "i'll fight by your side wolfy, but i'll kill the prety woman if she returns"

Fourier

The Tiger returns. Silent, waiting for his badass moment.

Necro

sKeith wrote: »

irverk wanders out form the sidelines, "i'll fight by your side wolfy, but i'll kill the prety woman if she returns"

Tolleric is outraged by being called pretty, because apparently feminists actually do that sort of thing. She swallows her anger however and nods at the sexist pig.

'Team mates, for now then. Lead on.'

Fourier

Tolleric depowers to Louise O'Neill mode to conserve her energy.

sKeith

"irverk hits the intercomm, "Where are you? Show yourself? Nice Night...."

Fourier

"When you reach the top of the tower, you will find me. Butthead."

The phrase "Butthead" triggers Irvek, dealing 2 HP damage.

sKeith

Irverk looks for any exits leading upwards.

Fourier

There is a ladder with a sign saying "Main engine and Penultimate Boss Confrontation room"

Necro

Tolliric searches the zombie horde for any cool items. The boring ones, she ignores. She takes the elven sword from Gholfin's corpse.

Fourier

A grandmaster crafted mace lies among their corpses.

sKeith

Irverk races up the ladder. "come on, let go!"

Necro

Tolliric picks up the mace and holds the elven sword in the other hand.

She smiles, thinking of a former dual wielding boyfriend she once had till he got all silent and machismo on her. Kinda like that guy Irvek.

She follows him up the ladder.

Fourier

Within the next room is the main engine that power the battleship. Tied outside to the window is a woman. If the engine is destabilised she will fall.

A Pirate black belt Capoeira giant centaur wereshark stands guard over the controls to the engine.

Tolliric takes 4 HP damage from the Androcentric framing narrative of a damsel in distress.

In the corner of the room a sentient Banjo bounces up and down playing a melodic tune.

sKeith

Irverk paces back and forward mumbling incantations preparing for a huge attack.

Necro

Tolliric angrily attacks the narrative framing her as a damsel in distress.

She leaves the wereshark to Irvek.

sKeith

Irverk shout over to the centaur shark thing, "let the woman enter the room and we wont make you suffer long."

Fourier

Necrominus wrote: »

Tolliric angrily attacks the narrative framing her as a damsel in distress.

The interwoven nature of the narrative in our society's gender relations lashes out but misses as Tolliric deconstructs it via intersectionality.

Banjo

Diddle ding ding ding ding ding dang ding

Fourier

sKeith wrote: »

Irverk shout over to the centaur shark thing, "let the woman enter the room and we wont make you suffer long."

"You think you can scare me. That I am some mere Pirate black belt Capoeira giant centaur wereshark. You fool..."

He laughs, downing a genetic potion, elongating his head and srputing bio-mechanical extrusions.

"I am a Xenomorph Pirate black belt Capoeira giant centaur wereshark"

Fourier

Banjo wrote: »

Diddle ding ding ding ding ding dang ding

The Banjo says erotically

sKeith

Irverk after quite a while of charging has his spell in hand and casts in at the centaur shark thinghy, "Makankōsappō" in your face....

Fourier

sKeith wrote: »

Irverk after quite a while of charging has his spell in hand and casts in at the centaur shark thinghy, "Makankōsappō" in your face....

He splits the being in half.

"Is there no place for a Xenomorph Pirate black belt Capoeira giant centaur wereshark in this world. Who is the monster here, not I, not I" he says as he dies.

Fourier

Tolliric deconstructs the narrative.

sKeith

Irverk checks both halves of the remains for items.

Fourier

sKeith wrote: »

Irverk checks both halves of the remains for items.

He finds the sword of a Billion Bastards forged in the hate pits of Karrador.

Necro

Fourier wrote: »

Tolliric deconstructs the narrative.

She reconstructs it in a different fashion in order to return her 4HP.

Then carves her sign in it.

sKeith

Irverk take the swork and duel wields it with the meat cleaver, the looks the engine controls over for the 'ID ten T' switch.

Fourier

sKeith wrote: »

Irverk take the swork and duel wields it with the meat cleaver, the looks the engine controls for the 'ID ten T' switch.

He finds it and nine other switches labelled 1-10.

sKeith

Irvek ignores the other swithes and hits the ID10T switch!

Banjo

"diddle diddle ding dang diddle ding"
*Three strings have I, that which is friendship, that which is mother's love, that which is two butchers knives - tis the 3rd string I play this day.

The banjo hops off the wall, landing on 2 very pointy feet.