Can't afford to buy or rent and no assistance available!

wonski

vectorvictor wrote: »

This is wrong. Spousal maintaince yes but there is definitely no relief on payments made for the benefit of a child. The simplified version of the below is that they are treated like they never happened

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/money_and_tax/tax/income_tax_credits_and_reliefs/maintenance_and_tax.html

Maintenance payments that are made for the benefit of a child or children are ignored for tax purposes:

The payments are made without deduction of tax (gross)
The person making the payments is not entitled to a tax deduction for the payments
The payments are not taxable
The payments are not regarded as income of the child.

Sorry, must have mixed those two.

Graces7

_Brian wrote: »

The fact that OP insists that it costs €80 a month to have “smart casual” clothes for work just signals that they want help but not help themselves, they want help delivered on top of the current lifestyle they have.

You can’t insist on staying in Dublin for “social reasons” and expect a dig out to hold onto your social reasons.

We all have to make sacrifices to have the things and life we want.

I spent 13 years driving 2 hours each way to a 12.5 hour shift job including nights to privide the life I wanted. Yes I left it the minute I could, but I sacrificed social life and home life so I could provide for my family.

I really galls me to see people complaining that there’s “no assistance” available, while refusing to give up social aspects and justifying a stream of new clothes
every month.

You need to cut back and compromise, move far enough out to save sufficient rent that the even with a commute you will have money left to live the life you want. Maybe in a few years things will change and you can move back to Dublin.

ie welcome to the real word. OP !

Cows Go µ

I don't understand how you could possibly be spending that on clothes. I'm working in a smart casual office and as a girl I wouldn't spend that. When I was saving for the house I completely cut back, if I desperately needed something it was eBay or Penneys.

Cut back on the food as well. I'd spend half that even with other house stuff

jlm29

Does the mother of your kids work? Can you avail of the one parent family tax credit?

Evd-Burner

_Brian wrote: »

The fact that OP insists that it costs €80 a month to have “smart casual” clothes for work just signals that they want help but not help themselves, they want help delivered on top of the current lifestyle they have.

You can’t insist on staying in Dublin for “social reasons” and expect a dig out to hold onto your social reasons.

We all have to make sacrifices to have the things and life we want.

I spent 13 years driving 2 hours each way to a 12.5 hour shift job including nights to privide the life I wanted. Yes I left it the minute I could, but I sacrificed social life and home life so I could provide for my family.

I really galls me to see people complaining that there’s “no assistance” available, while refusing to give up social aspects and justifying a stream of new clothes every month.

You need to cut back and compromise, move far enough out to save sufficient rent that the even with a commute you will have money left to live the life you want. Maybe in a few years things will change and you can move back to Dublin.

First of all I never insisted on staying in Dublin. I said that I needed to be within a reasonable commuting distance of both work and kids. Good for you on your 2 hours commute, I assume you had to take that journey less times per week due to working shift? From your wording it seems you also had a family to go back to, if I moved that far away that I had a 2 hour commute I would be moving somewhere completely on my own, away from everyone and everything I know, I would also have to do a long commute to collect the kids each weekend and it would be difficult to bring them to any sports etc on Saturday/Sunday.

You seem to imply that I am living some lavish lifestyle that I am unwilling to change and I want others to pay which is simply not true, I have always worked and paid my own way, I pay a massive amount of tax and with the current high rate of rents I don't see why renters should not get a tax relief etc as assistance.

Some people seem to be fixated on the fact that I utilize a €25 gym membership and have put down an estimate of €80 a month on clothes, I am estimating clothes to be that much, I haven't added up every single receipt and divided equally. How much do you all spend on clothes on a monthly average?

jlm29 wrote: »

Does the mother of your kids work? Can you avail of the one parent family tax credit?

Previously I availed of this but this year I got a letter from revenue to say that I no longer fit the criteria, when I rang to ask why all they said was that I didn't fit the criteria and that I should check online as to what the criteria states. I don't think she works but I have no way to know for sure.

I have a deposit saved, I've looked at the 5% FTBG but any of the houses I have looked at within commuting distance are all €180k+. I know there are developments going in with the next year or 2 around Dublin west that will be cheaper, if the grant is still available then it might be an option.

Cape Clear

Fair play to the OP for coming on here and seeking some guidance. Have you any friends that you could share a 3/4 bedroom house with to make things more affordable?

autumnbelle

Your all very hard on OP; I would not have thought after working all week it was lavish to spend €25 a month on a gym membership. €20 a week on clothes - Hardly buying all brand names etc. Anyway I think there is a huge variance in this country and middle income are getting screwed. You may get somewhere in the commuter belt op

Reati

_Brian wrote: »

I really galls me to see people complaining that there’s “no assistance” available, while refusing to give up social aspects and justifying a stream of new clothes every month.

I work with people like this. This pay 1850 in rent each month and moan every day at lunch. I have a 35 minute drive on the motorway away and pay a fraction of that. We are in later and out later so I miss all the traffic. Every time they moan I'm like why don't you look at the town I live in and think about driving.

The reply is always along the lines of Ah but what if I want to go out or I want to do x or Billy lives nearby and we see him once every 8 months.. Can't see me paying another 850 a month to be on call if Billy is free.

Unrelated to the OP who has genuine costs and isn't just too lazy to move. I would look south of Dublin though. Wicklow, if you can find a place has lots of houses available and if you work flexi hours and can miss the traffic you'd be sorted. I do think people might be a little hard on ya here but you do need to be willing to give up something. Dublin is really a no rent zone unless you are sharing / cohabiting... or loaded!

Evd-Burner

Cape Clear wrote: »

Fair play to the OP for coming on here and seeking some guidance. Have you any friends that you could share a 3/4 bedroom house with to make things more affordable?

I've thought about it and it's a possibility alright, it could potentially be a couple though as my close friends are all in relationships and sharing with other couples etc in 3/4 bed houses.

I have a girlfriend at the moment, too early for moving in etc at the moment but could be an option in a years time.

Sinister Kid

If you have to go down the renting route, could you go for a 3 bed? Room for you, room for the kids on weekends & rent the third room out? It would help with costs & you could pick who moves in yourself.
There are a lot of mature people that wouldn't mind the fact that you have the kids.

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Sinister Kid

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I could be wrong here but is he not required to have adequate room for access to take place?

Cape Clear

Sinister Kid wrote: »

I could be wrong here but is he not required to have adequate room for access to take place?

I think you may be correct on this. What are the lines of communication like between the OP and the kid's mother?

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Graces7

Sinister Kid wrote: »

I could be wrong here but is he not required to have adequate room for access to take place?

Was thinking that too.

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theteal

OP, to answer an earlier question. I budget for and spend £0 on clothes every month. On the quite rare occasions that something is needed it can come from savings.

I think y'all a being a bit harsh on the €25pm gym. If the OP goes as much as he says, that' a bargain for improved physical and mental health. There are savings to be made elsewhere.

OP, your maintenance is high. Were you living with the folks when it was set? That surely would have to change given the impending alteration to your living situation.

El Tarangu

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I was thinking that myself; if both the OP's parents and his kids live in north county Dublin, he could rent a one-bed in Kildare, have access at his parents' house at weekends. Sure, it's not ideal, but at least he would be in the parents' house only two nights a week instead of the current seven, shorter commute each day, and renting a one-bed instead of a two-bed would better facilitate him in saving a deposit to buy a place of his own.

Best of luck with it anyhow, OP.

BrokenArrows

You are looking to pay a lot of extra rent just to have your kids stay over a few nights a week which is a huge waste of money.

Id suggest you look into buying a 1 bedroom apartment and invest in some quality fold out beds that the kids can sleep on when they visit.

Its obviously not ideal but given your income and expenses you will just have to do it.

Going back into renting now would be a very poor choice. You will be wasting money on rent and you will be unable to save a single penny which rules you out of ever buying your own place.

Buy a small place now and look to upgrade to a bigger place in a few years when you have more savings and some of the mortgage paid off.

BrokenArrows

Evd-Burner wrote: »

Some people seem to be fixated on the fact that I utilize a €25 gym membership and have put down an estimate of €80 a month on clothes, I am estimating clothes to be that much, I haven't added up every single receipt and divided equally. How much do you all spend on clothes on a monthly average?

I work in a smart casual office too.

A couple of times a year i will buy a few new shirts and some new trousers. I definitely dont spend something every month.

Lets say i buy 8 new shirts a year (8x€30) and 3 new trousers(3x€35). Thats about 29 quid a month on average and im probably over estimating the amount of shirts and trousers i buy.

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Pelvis

BrokenArrows wrote: »

You are looking to pay a lot of extra rent just to have your kids stay over a few nights a week which is a huge waste of money.

Id suggest you look into buying a 1 bedroom apartment and invest in some quality fold out beds that the kids can sleep on when they visit.

Its obviously not ideal but given your income and expenses you will just have to do it.

Going back into renting now would be a very poor choice. You will be wasting money on rent and you will be unable to save a single penny which rules you out of ever buying your own place.

Buy a small place now and look to upgrade to a bigger place in a few years when you have more savings and some of the mortgage paid off.

The guy has 2 kids and you're suggesting buying a one-bed apartment? There would be no bigger waste of money than buying a one-bed. Firstly, most banks require a 25% deposit for a one-bed, which I doubt the OP has. Secondly, he'll loose his FTB status when he comes to upgrade. Complete waste of time.

If he can't afford to rent then the only other option is stay at his parents and save.

Evd-Burner

There is little to no communication with the ex and out of respect for her and the kids I won't go into the particulars of it other than I know I would run the risk of losing overnight access if I only had a 1 bedroom accommodation. My access like the maintenance is court ordered. When I do move out I will likely have to bite the bullet and go for reduction as it was set when living with the folks.
Overnight access in my parents would only work if they don't downsize or move abroad.

In relation to any of the costs I have tried to average them out as a monthly costs. I like everyone else wouldn't buy clothes every month. I actually hate going clothes shopping, I would usually go 2-3 times per year and it usually costs 250 to 300 a time.

I have a 132 Nissan Leaf(electric) with 3 and a half years of a loan left. As I drive electric my fuel costs are extremely low and I think the car overall is good value for the amount I get out of it.
350 covers:
Tax
Insurance
Maintenance
Tolls
Fuel
Loan
One option could be using the saving to clear the loan, if I was then to rent over closer to work I would be able to afford another 250 a month and the car costs would only be 100 or so a month. But this would reduce money for a deposit on a house, thoughts?

BrokenArrows

Pelvis wrote: »

The guy has 2 kids and you're suggesting buying a one-bed apartment? There would be no bigger waste of money than buying a one-bed. Firstly, most banks require a 25% deposit for a one-bed, which I doubt the OP has. Secondly, he'll loose his FTB status when he comes to upgrade. Complete waste of time.

If he can't afford to rent then the only other option is stay at his parents and save.

He has two kids occasionally. They dont live with him and stay over a couple of nights a week.

He cant afford rent or a mortgage for a 2 bedroom apartment. So seriously he has no other option but to go for a 1 bedroom apartment.

Its sucks, but hes not going to magic money out of thin air.

It doesnt matter if he loses his first time buyer status. If he can never afford to buy anything else then whats the point in having a FTB status at all!!

Evd-Burner

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Forgot to reply to this. I'm in IT, I already have a degree and up to date qualifications for my area. I just need experience, the job I am currently in is considered well paid, I can get more I just need more experience is all and that takes time.

BrokenArrows

OP your basically unable to achieve all of your goals since you suggest that access to the kids would be revoked if you only have a 1 bedroom apartment. Id find this weird and suggest you seek legal advice on this.


Possibly your parents might be willing to help you buy your apartment. They might own say 30% of it and you would pay them 30% of the going rent for the area.

December2012

Have you spoke with a mortgage broker yet?

There may be things that you can do to get yourself mortgage ready in a year's time.

TheIronyMaiden

OP sorry if you have answered this already but would working from home (even part time) be an option?

EDIT: also agree with the above poster, have you talked to a broker? Myself and my partner had a lot of incorrect assumptions about the process and ended up being able to apply sooner than we thought. You might be surprised what a broker can do for you?

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Evd-Burner

Haven't looked at a broker. Will have to have a go and see what they come up with. Any in north county dublin any can recommend?

Regarding court etc I have represented myself as the cost is very high for a solicitor. The issue I have with court is that it's all up in the air, there is no standard way of doing things, it's completely dependent on the mood of the judge on the day, it baffles me that there are no guidelines or maintenance calculators in place. The judge rarely goes into any of the finer details, they just glance over things, hear a few questions and answers and proceed to make a decision.

My current role in work requires a physical presence so no working at home, when I gain the experience and get a promotion etc then there is the option of 20% of the time to work at home.