Can't afford to buy or rent and no assistance available!

mariaalice

The OP cant make it work with the parameters he has, so they will have to make some compromises they have not got any choice.

https://www.myhome.ie/residential/brochure/15-turvey-woods-donabate-dublin/3957594.

That is 125k near enough to North County Dublin. The commute would be a bit of a pain but plenty are doing worse. I travel the length of the M50 a couple of days a week. The OP is not in a position to get a two bed where they would like too.

The OP has the children all weekend every weekend and pays 700 euro in maintenance?

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El Tarangu

Evd-Burner wrote: »

Regarding court etc I have represented myself as the cost is very high for a solicitor.

I would advise getting a solicitor; if they tell you that you are paying too much maintenance and you end up saving €100 per month over the next 10 years, it will be the best money you ever spent. They could also tell if whether or not it is worthwhile bringing it as far as the judge.

Tombo2001

Normal Monthly Costs:
€710 = Child Maintenance & Related Expenses
€350 = Car Loan/Tax/Tolls/Upkeep/Fuel:
€300 = Food etc
€215 = Clothes, health, gym, birthdays etc
Total = €1575

Estimated Rental Monthly Costs:
€1600 = Rent
€75 = Electricity
€65 = Gas
€30 = Bins
€45 = Internet
€13 = TV Licence
Total = €1828



Sitting around moaning wont get you anywhere, it will make things worse.

See below - nice two bedroom apartment in Skryne for EUR1200.
http://www.daft.ie/meath/apartments-for-rent/skryne/the-courtyard-skryne-meath-1825872/

You have options. You just have to look at it in terms of what you can do, rather than what you want to do.

I know people are banging on about the clothes, and they are right. But also the car - You are hard up for cash, and spending 4 grand a year on a car? Really?

Could you get rid of the car and put the cash towards renting somewhere within walking distance of the kids?

The amount of money people spend on their cars really baffles me.

ELM327

BrokenArrows wrote: »

He has two kids occasionally. They dont live with him and stay over a couple of nights a week.

He cant afford rent or a mortgage for a 2 bedroom apartment. So seriously he has no other option but to go for a 1 bedroom apartment.

Its sucks, but hes not going to magic money out of thin air.

It doesnt matter if he loses his first time buyer status. If he can never afford to buy anything else then whats the point in having a FTB status at all!!

The courts will revoke his overnights with the kids if there are not separate bedrooms for each gender.
It's not written anywhere but from someone who has been to the family courts (indirectly) more than I'd like, I see how these things work. You can put 2 sons or 2 daughters in the same room but not one of each.

Tombo2001

ELM327 wrote: »

The courts will revoke his overnights with the kids if there are not separate bedrooms for each gender.
It's not written anywhere but from someone who has been to the family courts (indirectly) more than I'd like, I see how these things work. You can put 2 sons or 2 daughters in the same room but not one of each.

Irony being that there are families in two bedroom houses / apartments the length and breadth of the country that have a boy and girl in the same bedroom. And no court has ever made an issue of it.

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Cape Clear

Is car pooling an option to cut costs? €4,200 is a lot to spend on a car does this also include maintenance insurance etc. I spent about €2,700 on my car last year a 9 year old diesel doing 13,000 miles or so. This includes service,fuel, tax & insurance.

Evd-Burner

Regarding the car, there is no way for my to get public transport to work as I have to start at 8am. There are buses, but considering I would first need to travel into town and then from down to past the M50 it's just not feasible. I need a car, both for a work and for the kids. I don't think 4k which is the entire cost of the car, including fuel etc is not a hell of a lot considering I put 35000km last year alone.

Also I've not been sitting around moaning either, I am looking at my problem a year down the line and I came here to try and get some advice to give me adequate time to do something and put a plan in place!

Thanks for anyone that gave constructive advice, I have taken a good few notes and I intend on following up on a few things.

pinkypinky

Definitely legal advice is required.

Gym @ €25 a month is very good value. There's a lot of benefits to physical and mental well-being.

Have you been through your budget in this level of detail with:

a) your parents - they might have a different attitude when they see the actual situation
b) MABs or similar

ELM327

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That's it. If it is not mentioned in court then it's not an issue.
But generally it is.

A 2 bed with a sofa bed would suffice. But it would be a terrible decision for the OP to buy/rent a 1 bed as he will risk losing the overnights.

Evd-Burner

Evd-Burner wrote: »

There is little to no communication with the ex and out of respect for her and the kids I won't go into the particulars of it other than I know I would run the risk of losing overnight access if I only had a 1 bedroom accommodation. My access like the maintenance is court ordered. When I do move out I will likely have to bite the bullet and go for reduction as it was set when living with the folks.
Overnight access in my parents would only work if they don't downsize or move abroad.

In relation to any of the costs I have tried to average them out as a monthly costs. I like everyone else wouldn't buy clothes every month. I actually hate going clothes shopping, I would usually go 2-3 times per year and it usually costs 250 to 300 a time.

I have a 132 Nissan Leaf(electric) with 3 and a half years of a loan left. As I drive electric my fuel costs are extremely low and I think the car overall is good value for the amount I get out of it.
350 covers:
Tax
Insurance
Maintenance
Tolls
Fuel
Loan
One option could be using the saving to clear the loan, if I was then to rent over closer to work I would be able to afford another 250 a month and the car costs would only be 100 or so a month. But this would reduce money for a deposit on a house, thoughts?

Would you have an option to buy or rent from your parents if they're moving?

LaughAlot2

This is sad Op, as there are many like you stuck in this predicament. People working and paying taxes and on top of expenses and a family to raise, there seems to be little or no help available.
The only advice i could give would be try a local TD.

I really feel for you,and your family and kids as it is a rough situation and i feel sad that this is happening to you and no doubt many others.

I really hope you get sorted with the suitable accommodation which is needed for you and your family.
Take care and God bless

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Tombo2001

Evd-Burner wrote: »

Regarding the car, there is no way for my to get public transport to work as I have to start at 8am. There are buses, but considering I would first need to travel into town and then from down to past the M50 it's just not feasible. I need a car, both for a work and for the kids. I don't think 4k which is the entire cost of the car, including fuel etc is not a hell of a lot considering I put 35000km last year alone.

Also I've not been sitting around moaning either, I am looking at my problem a year down the line and I came here to try and get some advice to give me adequate time to do something and put a plan in place!

Thanks for anyone that gave constructive advice, I have taken a good few notes and I intend on following up on a few things.

....I was referring to the 'no assistance available' part of your OP.

Re the car - I havent had a car for ten years; I cycle to work like thousands of others - its a great way to save money. Thats constructive advice; maybe its not the right advice for you, but I'm not saying it to take the P. If I was hanging around for public transport to get me to work, I'd be waiting a long time. As mentioned; reducing your motor costs by 4k a month allows you pay a lot more in rent which will may allow you live near your kids and walk to/from where they are mid week. Thats a much better option than sticking them in the car for long commutes. It should at the very least be considered.

Sinister Kid

I think suggesting the op give up his car is a bit of a silly solution. Down-grade OK, move closer to work to cut back on tolls/fuel OK, but giving it up completely when his kids are on the North side & his job is on the South doesn't seem like a great idea.

Tombo2001

Sinister Kid wrote: »

I think suggesting the op give up his car is a bit of a silly solution. Down-grade OK, move closer to work to cut back on tolls/fuel OK, but giving it up completely when his kids are on the North side & his job is on the South doesn't seem like a great idea.

Thats fair enough.

In my defence; I dont see any post saying where the kids are. OP says where he currently lives.

Or indeed where the job is. South Dublin could be a lot of places.

Obviously cycling from Balbriggan to Sandyford would probably not work.

Pelvis

Tombo2001 wrote: »

In my defence; I dont see any post saying where the kids are. OP says where he currently lives.

Try post number 1.

Franz Von Peppercorn

Tombo2001 wrote: »

....I was referring to the 'no assistance available' part of your OP.

Re the car - I havent had a car for ten years; I cycle to work like thousands of others - its a great way to save money. Thats constructive advice; maybe its not the right advice for you, but I'm not saying it to take the P. If I was hanging around for public transport to get me to work, I'd be waiting a long time. As mentioned; reducing your motor costs by 4k a month allows you pay a lot more in rent which will may allow you live near your kids and walk to/from where they are mid week. Thats a much better option than sticking them in the car for long commutes. It should at the very least be considered.

4K a month?

Tiddlypeeps

Evd-Burner wrote: »

One option could be using the saving to clear the loan, if I was then to rent over closer to work I would be able to afford another 250 a month and the car costs would only be 100 or so a month. But this would reduce money for a deposit on a house, thoughts?

That sounds like it would be the best plan. As much as renting sucks especially knowing you may never be in a position to buy, it's better than being in the position you are now where you don't even know if you'll be able to find somewhere livable.

It sounds like you are in a good career so with salary growth over time you'll likely eventually be able to afford to buy, but for now I'd put the idea aside until it makes sense financially.

pansophelia

Hi OP.
One thought would be that if you rented a 2 bed apt you may be able to sublet/airbnb the second room Monday - Friday - with the landlord's agreement of course. Another thought - is there any way you could supplement your income with your IT skills in the evenings? Even a small amount of extra income could make a big difference for you.
I was saving for a house last year and found websites such as Frugalwoods, Mr Money Moustache and the budgeting app YNAB really helpful in getting the absolute most out of my income - they are American based but did change my mindset.
It's difficult to see now but you are in a strong position in the longer term with a career with promotion prospects and what sounds like a secure job.
Best of luck

Dr_Kolossus

Could u rent a 2 bed, and sublet one room weekdays to a mature student or someone who has to go home at weekends, would help with bills too

Pervious poster in just before me

Greybottle

There is also the poissibility that if you move closer to work (walking or cycling distance) then you could save some money by ditching the car and using a service like Go-Car instead. www.gocar.ie. Commuting by Luas or Bus will cost about €1,000 per annum, even with taxsaver.

You'd need to calculate costs every weekend that you have the kids plus add on a few trips that you might take with them outside of Dublin.

Not sure if it works for you, but I'll probably be selling my car in a months time and will use Go Car for a coule of months to see how I get on with it.

Agree that you need to keep the Gym membership, it's good for your mental health. But also watch the clothes spending, it sounds a lot.

Have a look at your petty outgoings and try to get an idea of what you spend there...do you drink many take away coffees, eat many take away sandwiches etc. I was going out to lunch every day with a couople of lads at work, we agreed to stop and only do it on a Friday, took a flask of coffee in the mornings as well as some food. Save over €50 a week doing this alone, probably closer to €65-70.

It's a PITA, but spend one month if possible writing down every single cent that you spend, then try to evaluate where you can save better.

April 73

I think of all I have read so far these ideas have the most merit:
Rent a two-bed & sublet the second bedroom to someone who works in Dublin during the week. You may need to consider moving from where you are to find the best place to rent though.

I’d sit down with your parents with the figures in your first post & let them see the full truth. They may feel differently when they see the stark reality.

I think buying is out for now. Your still in your 20s - time to buy when you are in a better financial situation.

The tolls & the maintenance are killing you. These are the biggies to tackle. You should probably consider actively job hunting to a better located employer. Your ex is getting a grand s month between maintenance & children’s allowance. You need to make sure there is an equal division of the responsibility for the children.

Forget cancelling the gym. It’s €25 a month for jaysus sake & probably your sanity.

Good luck - I think your story illustrates the difficulty of Dublin housing prices

Trasna1

OP I've read all this thread and all the advice in it but unfortunately much of the advice here has focused on how much you can trim your outgoings and economise. To be honest, I don't see the point in trimming clothes or gym budgets when the fundamental issue is that you do not earn enough to rent a two bed (€1600) on your own in a sustainable way regardless of your cost base. This is before you look at maintenance which adds further pressure.

This means realistically looking at major compromise on one of your red lines. If you must have a two bed, you'll have to leave Dublin. If you do decide to do this, then you will have to further economise in order to put a deposit together - in particular the headline spend on maintenance. To be honest your other spending doesn't seem extravagant anyway.

The only way you'll afford Dublin at the moment is if you share unfortunately.

I'm in a similar position to yourself and it's depressing. I spend a similar amount to you on rent (sharing) as you do on maintenance and it makes saving and living difficult.
One other piece of advice struck me here: Monday to Friday sublets, all he will need is a vacancy for a week or two and he will be in financial trouble. Although market is tight now, Monday to Friday letting is still niche and may be difficult to fill.

bleary

I agree sharing would be best option for the moment. Life could be fairly solitary otherwise. If the kids can't stay in a share when this happens, for a while then it is not for ever just until op saves for their own place.

As said, parents may be able to facilitate even once or twice a month with kids.

I hope that you are saving the rent equivalent each month already. If not set up direct debit straight out of wages to savings account .

Keep the gym up but move over the toll bridge. If you are already earning 50k gross in IT( over 35k net for social housing) not sure how much you can expect to increase that in the future? I would have thought that was a pretty good salary.

I would say car loan also reduces your loan potential. When that is cleared it will increase.

So save for next year . Rent room for another year , pay off loan before applying again.

You'll only be 31 then and well on way to buying.
You might even have 2 incomes into pot if gf works out.

Evd-Burner

Regarding budgeting, I have been keeping a fairly close eye on what I spend over the last year or so. I only drink coffee in work and at home where it's free. I bulk make lunches etc for work which keeps the cost down and I rarely eat out.

So right now the trip to work from where the kids are is 36km and the trip from my parents to work is 28km via cycling. I'm fit and can run 10km with ease in about 55 minutes, but I don't think I'd have it in me for 70km round trip 5 times a week, each way is averaging out at almost 2 hours and I genuinely wouldn't feel safe on a few stretches of the journey.

I've decided I'm going to pay off the car loan and I worked it out that between now and when I would need to move out that I would save almost
1000 in interest, I'll put the money I was paying towards the loan back into my mortgage savings. That coupled with more realistic electricity and heating costs and internet dongle idea will bring me up to 1450-1500 in terms of payable rent. There is also talks of either free or reduced m50 tolls for electric cars, if that came in it would help. Before I do pay the loan I'm going to arrange meeting a mortgage broker as without the loan I might be able to borrow more. I'll pop an update on the thread after I meet with a mortgage broker.

Another option I have this year is that there are a number of opportunities to work abroad with the company where I'd get a decent amount of extra pay. That could boost my salary enough for this year to show a P60 with higher pay so I could get a higher mortgage. It would involve applying to join on of those teams which may take a few months.

Cyrus

Evd-Burner wrote: »

Regarding budgeting, I have been keeping a fairly close eye on what I spend over the last year or so. I only drink coffee in work and at home where it's free. I bulk make lunches etc for work which keeps the cost down and I rarely eat out.

So right now the trip to work from where the kids are is 36km and the trip from my parents to work is 28km via cycling. I'm fit and can run 10km with ease in about 55 minutes, but I don't think I'd have it in me for 70km round trip 5 times a week, each way is averaging out at almost 2 hours and I genuinely wouldn't feel safe on a few stretches of the journey.

I've decided I'm going to pay off the car loan and I worked it out that between now and when I would need to move out that I would save almost
1000 in interest, I'll put the money I was paying towards the loan back into my mortgage savings. That coupled with more realistic electricity and heating costs and internet dongle idea will bring me up to 1450-1500 in terms of payable rent. There is also talks of either free or reduced m50 tolls for electric cars, if that came in it would help. Before I do pay the loan I'm going to arrange meeting a mortgage broker as without the loan I might be able to borrow more. I'll pop an update on the thread after I meet with a mortgage broker.

Another option I have this year is that there are a number of opportunities to work abroad with the company where I'd get a decent amount of extra pay. That could boost my salary enough for this year to show a P60 with higher pay so I could get a higher mortgage. It would involve applying to join on of those teams which may take a few months.

a p60 alone wont cut it you will have to show your three most recent payslips so bear that in mind

Wesser

I just wanted to say good luck to you.

I think if you make multiple small changes e.g., a small rise in income, small drop.in maintainence, rent out a room and cut out the tolls then you can do it.
The cumulitative effect of multiple changes over time is very powerful. As opposed to Looking at each change individually.

appledrop

I just wanted to say fair play to you for coming on here + being very open about your finances. The maintenance does seem quite high. I understand it's a court order + you can't stop paying it but you need to get legal advice + explain that things have changed + you now need money yourself to live somewhere. I can't believe people getting onto you about the gym membership. It's €25 a month people that's good value! Your toll bill like my own is about 4 times that at €80 a month if your using it twice a day. Try if possible to have your next accommodation somewhere that avoids the toll. I definitely think the €80 a month on clothes is excessive + I love shopping! My husband only buys clothes about twice a year for work+ all his shirts are still like new. Your lucky it's smart casual as keeps the cost down. You should definitely look into the government mortgage scheme as mortgage usually works out less than rent at moment. I know you have kids staying over at moment at weekends but down the road you might be able to look at rent a room scheme which is tax free or as someone else said a lodger who only needs to stay Mon-Fri.

Best of luck I hope it all works out for you.