Worried about member of team

Littlefinger

Hi there,

For some reason this isn't letting me going anon. No matter what browser I use I can't get the captcha to load.

Anyways here goes.

Today a member of my team rang me on my mobile to say they wouldn't be coming in as they were ill. I missed the call as it was on silent so a min later they rang me on my direct workline.

Later on in the day I answered a call on my direct line. When i said where I worked the caller got flustered and said sorry wrong number didn't mean to ring. A minute later the exact same number rang my mobile and said hi this is first name I missed a call from this number . I said no I didn't ring this number it wasn't at all familiar to me so they hung up.

I got a little spooked because I couldn't figure out how the person would have both my direct line and mobile (mobile is a personal one) so I rang them back and asked how they got both numbers. They said oh I was ringing the missed calls i had this morning. So I asked what time the calls were at and they gave me the times. I said that that wasn't true as I didn't make any calls out this morning so I asked for their full name and how they knew me. They said that they didn't have to give me their name and hung up.

I went and I checked both phone logs at the times I had been given by them. I had no outgoing calls at those times but I had two incoming calls .. both of them the ones I referred to earlier from the member of my team that was ringing in sick.

I then googled the mobile number that had rang me. The name that the caller had said matched the name of my colleagues partner and a news article I found showed that this person lived in the same town where my colleague and their partner are from.

So there are warning bells going off in my mind now. To me it looks like my colleagues partner is checking up on their calls? So I'm wondering if I should casually mention it to my colleague when they are back to work? Or should I just leave it?

Sorry if this seems long and convoluted.

Pelvis

Leave it

Avatar MIA

This is easy.

Leave it alone. There's no way you come out on top by getting involved, are you seriously thinking of telling them, 'er, don't think your wife trusts you, mate'

wexie

Avatar MIA wrote: »

This is easy.

Leave it alone. There's no way you come out on top by getting involved, are you seriously thinking of telling them, 'er, don't think your wife trusts you, mate'

Not only that, if the person rang in sick and the same day his wife is ringing around checking his calls.... well then it's not too far fetched to think perhaps she may have reason to be checking his whereabouts cause if he was sick at home she'd (presumably) know about it and know where he is.

Either way, I wouldn't get involved. No good will come of it and one way or another it's going to make things awkward. Unless you're pretty good mates in which case I'd imagine you wouldn't be asking for advice here.

Dial Hard

Why is everyone assuming its a nosy wife? My reading of it is that the OP is concerned about a potentially controlling partner.

wexie

Dial Hard wrote: »

Why is everyone assuming its a nosy wife? My reading of it is that the OP is concerned about a potentially controlling partner.

I just reread the whole post and you are entirely correct

Which would put an entirely different twist on things and would make me very much lean towards offering help, or at least finding out if they need any (subtly).

But, I freakin hate bullies :mad:

Littlefinger

wexie wrote: »

I just reread the whole post and you are entirely correct

Which would put an entirely different twist on things and would make me very much lean towards offering help, or at least finding out if they need any (subtly).

But, I freakin hate bullies :mad:

This is exactly what I think. That my colleague's partner is a bit of a control freak. My colleague (who I would be quite pally with) is a lovely quiet and gentle person and the thoughts that they could be in an potentially abusive relationship is quite worrying.

wexie

Littlefinger wrote: »

This is exactly what I think. That my colleague's partner is a bit of a control freak. My colleague (who I would be quite pally with) is a lovely quiet and gentle person and the thoughts that they could be in an potentially abusive relationship is quite worrying.

Gee, I don't really know what advice to give. I'd be a bit of a bull in a chinashop when it comes to these things.

Depending on how well you know them you could start with an informal 'is everything okay chat' once they are back in work and gauge the reaction from there? And considering they've just been out sick you wouldn't even need to make up an excuse.

Also depending on the size of the company perhaps there may be some other resources you could get to help you deal with this.

Also have a look here : http://whatwouldyoudo.ie/ some good advice there.

mrcheez

I was most amazed that you could Google their mobile and it came up in a news article?!?

Littlefinger

mrcheez wrote: »

I was most amazed that you could Google their mobile and it came up in a news article?!?

It was a local newsletter and had to do with booking tickets for a dinner dance.

mrcheez

Yeah it was weird, I would never think anyone's mobile number could be Googled. Not like you stick it on Linked In or anything, so just thought it was an odd thing to try.

But seemed to work in this case alright!

elbyrneo

If your company has a HR department then pass concerns to them and let them advise or take care of the matter. If not, discuss with your manager.

Would not take any action before then...

bertsmom

I would just leave it. I wouldn't consider it any of my business.
If they are just a colleague or casual acquaintance I'd leave them sort themselves out.
Through experience I would say no good deed goes unpunished and frankly you could be landed in HR for trying to be helpful if your colleague takes the defensive on her relationship.
Work is work I wouldn't get involved in colleagues personal lives.

bobbysands81

OP, stay away from doing anything at all. You have no idea what’s going on in the background for this individual. You can only act on evidence that you have and you don’t really have anything. If you really wanted to you could mention the calls but what would be the purpose of doing that? What goal would it achieve?

There’s so many assumptions on this thread as to what may or may not have happened. Getting involved in assumptions is a road to disaster for you.

When your staff member comes back to work have a very quick meeting with them to check all is okay after their sick leave and let them know that they can have a chat with you at any stage if there’s any issues. If they want to raise something with you they will, if they don’t then they don’t. The person is an adult.

Captain Flaps

If it's a mobile number lob it into FB search, easy way to identify most callers (plenty of people have their number tied to their FB account).