Shoes off.

iamwhoiam

no.8 wrote: »

In Ireland this, in Ireland that. There is no in 'In Ireland' nonsense. I'm Irish and I consider it rude to rub filty shoes (and whatever the hell is on them) into the new carpets.

I don't care if it offends, its my home. The amount if dog poo lying about is reducing but still a long way off tolerable.

As a matter of interest how do you then handle it ? Do you have a selection of slippers and sizes ready and washed ? Or do you let visitors know to bring a change of shoes or slippers ? Do you provide a seat so people dont have to wobble taking them off ?
We visited in BC Canada and practicality means people take their outdoor shoes off . They all have trays at the door for the snowy wet shoes and most people carry indoor socks with rubber strips on the soles to change into . The tray is usually under a wooden shelf where people can sit to take off their big snow boots . People have a few pairs of clean rubber soled socks in their home for the incase too
You need to be prepared if you want people to take off their shoes in my opinion

scamalert

iamwhoiam wrote: »

You need to be prepared if you want people to take off their shoes in my opinion

Now that's def an Irish thing, think about guest slipping and twisting their ankle and getting sued, should have a sign wet floors as well ? think its reasonable request in most cases people will have spare slippers lying around and its not like asking to chop of their legs, but why not make it 40+ page brag. how this makes it so impossibly hard to twist ones head around about keeping house clean.

LirW

Skylar Odd Stingray wrote: »

Yes but this isn't back home. You've acknowledged that it's very much a cultural thing but don't seem to respect the culture in Ireland of not asking guests to remove their shoes. So if I was visiting you back home, it's not acceptable for me to wear shoes in your home because that's the culture but it's ok for you to ask me to remove my shoes in Ireland where the culture considers it rude to do so?

Scroll a few pages back to read my original statement on it before your mouth gets all foamy and you accuse people of disobeying dem social standards here.
People can leave their shoes on unless they go into the bedrooms, we all prefer to take ours off and change into slippers.

bazz26

Better things to be doing with shoes:

Deub

Skylar Odd Stingray wrote: »

Nobody wants to wear those manky things.

You missed one my previous posts where I said they were washed regularly.

DaverageJoe

Deub wrote: »

I provide sleepers and if they have support shoes they can obviously keep them on.
My floor more important than guest comfort? No but I assume keeping shoes is not so comfortable since majority of people remove them when they are at home. So please, be my guest. Make yourself comfortable and use the sleepers provided.

I can just imagine a guest arriving at your house.

Before you come in, do you have a doctors note for those shoes? If not I'm going to have to ask you to take them off and wear the slippers provided. Our floors are much too important for people to be comfortable!

It's hilarious the lengths people will go to to avoid cleaning the ****ing carpet

meeeeh

Skylar Odd Stingray wrote: »

If I did live in another country I would respect the cultural norms but apparently that principle works the other way around these days.

Your attitude stinks of "this is Ireland and we do things like I say here". It's jingoistic nonsense. I come from a country where majority of people would take shoes off. We didn't in my parent's house for different reasons. I also wear shoes inside in Ireland because it suits me. What I don't do is go around looking to be offended by frankly fairly insignificant requests. People tend to have their own preferences at home for whatever reason and it really isn't that hard to take shoes off if someone asks you to. But if it's more important to you than their friendship then maybe you are better off not going there again. They certainly are.

TCM

Deub wrote:

I provide sleepers and if they have support shoes they can obviously keep them on. My floor more important than guest comfort? No but I assume keeping shoes is not so comfortable since majority of people remove them when they are at home. So please, be my guest. Make yourself comfortable and use the sleepers provided.

Utter nonsense. Can't imagine many people calling to your house.

meeeeh

DaverageJoe wrote: »

It's hilarious the lengths people will go to to avoid cleaning the ****ing carpet

Carpet can't be cleaned properly. We have only hard floors in the house because we wear shoes and don't fancy manky carpets.

LirW

I love how it's seems to be an issue that divides society.
If you're invited somewhere and they'd ask you to take your shoes off, would you really go on about it in the back of your head for the whole evening and swearing to never come back because you're not in your shoes for two or 3 hours?
Seems far from reality.
I don't think people need to justify themselves in their own homes for having a pretty simple request. It's not that they want you to be naked for the rest of the evening.


Also do people stay in their work shoes after coming home, either dirty tradespeople shoes or these really uncomfortable formal office things or heels? Do people change into trainers instead?
For me, getting out of my shoes when at home is an amazing part of the day!

LirW

meeeeh wrote: »

Carpet can't be cleaned properly. We have only hard floors in the house because we wear shoes and don't fancy manky carpets.

My in-laws have the whole house carpeted besides the bathroom and the kitchen, they'd go in and out all the time with their normal shoes, doesn't that defeat the purpose of carpets though? They don't have a steamer either and they'd hoover it once or twice a week.
Don't like carpets for the cleaning nightmares they are.

OldMrBrennan83

LirW wrote: »

I love how it's seems to be an issue that divides society.
If you're invited somewhere and they'd ask you to take your shoes off, would you really go on about it in the back of your head for the whole evening and swearing to never come back because you're not in your shoes for two or 3 hours?
Seems far from reality.
I don't think people need to justify themselves in their own homes for having a pretty simple request. It's not that they want you to be naked for the rest of the evening.


Also do people stay in their work shoes after coming home, either dirty tradespeople shoes or these really uncomfortable formal office things or heels? Do people change into trainers instead?
For me, getting out of my shoes when at home is an amazing part of the day!

I wouldn't be going on about anything because I'd have turned and walked back out to the car straight away.

MrMusician18

meeeeh wrote: »

Your attitude stinks of "this is Ireland and we do things like I say here". It's jingoistic nonsense. I come from a country where majority of people would take shoes off. We didn't in my parent's house for different reasons. I also wear shoes inside in Ireland because it suits me. What I don't do is go around looking to be offended by frankly fairly insignificant requests. People tend to have their own preferences at home for whatever reason and it really isn't that hard to take shoes off if someone asks you to. But if it's more important to you than their friendship then maybe you are better off not going there again. They certainly are.

I've heard the strangest of exaggerations in my lifetime but describing someone's intolerance to removing their shoes upon entering an Irish house as "jingoism" is definitely a first.:rolleyes:

Rubberchikken

all hard floors and tiles here but doggy and i keep my shoes on all the time til im finished for the day. im in and out constantly so couldnt imagine the faff of shoe changing.
would accept it in someone elses house..people are weird in many ways.

no.8

Patww79 wrote:

I wouldn't be going on about anything because I'd have turned and walked back out to the car straight away.

Is this a joke? Get over yourself

no.8

MrMusician18 wrote:

I've heard the strangest of exaggerations in my lifetime but describing someone's intolerance to removing their shoes upon entering an Irish house as "jingoism" is definitely a first.

It's borderline tbh. Sounds quite narrow-minded at best

v638sg7k1a92bx

meeeeh wrote: »

Your attitude stinks of "this is Ireland and we do things like I say here". It's jingoistic nonsense. I come from a country where majority of people would take shoes off. We didn't in my parent's house for different reasons. I also wear shoes inside in Ireland because it suits me. What I don't do is go around looking to be offended by frankly fairly insignificant requests. People tend to have their own preferences at home for whatever reason and it really isn't that hard to take shoes off if someone asks you to. But if it's more important to you than their friendship then maybe you are better off not going there again. They certainly are.

Every second post in favour of taking shoes off cites that it's the culture in other countries but when it's pointed out what the culture is in Ireland, where the people on this thread actually live, you consider it "jingoism". Is it possible to have any discussion on the internet these days without insinuating someone is right wing, etc.

OldMrBrennan83

no.8 wrote: »

Is this a joke? Get over yourself

No. I won't take my shoes off, but I can't go in without taking my shoes off. What other option is there?

DaverageJoe

On the whole "Its an Irish thing". I have never in my life been asked to take off my shoes when visiting someones house. I've always considered it an Irish thing too to talk in the kitchen.

You'd just go in the side door\back door to the kitchen for a cup of tea. You wouldn't often go into the sitting room or anywhere there's a carpet unless you were at a friends or relatives.

Deub

TCM wrote: »

Utter nonsense. Can't imagine many people calling to your house.

But people do and come back so that doesn't seem to be an issue as big as some people try to make it on this thread.

MrMusician18

no.8 wrote: »

It's borderline tbh. Sounds quite narrow-minded at best

Borderline my backside. It's about a thousand miles from the border.

odyssey06

meeeeh wrote: »

Your attitude stinks of "this is Ireland and we do things like I say here". It's jingoistic nonsense. I come from a country where majority of people would take shoes off. We didn't in my parent's house for different reasons. I also wear shoes inside in Ireland because it suits me. What I don't do is go around looking to be offended by frankly fairly insignificant requests. People tend to have their own preferences at home for whatever reason and it really isn't that hard to take shoes off if someone asks you to. But if it's more important to you than their friendship then maybe you are better off not going there again. They certainly are.

Your post is riddled with contradictions as it seems to demonstrate the same jingoistic qualities you seem to take issue with?
If a guest insists on shoes on they are placing it above friendship, but if a host insists on shoes off they are not???

Eggs For Dinner

suicide_circus wrote: »

a hospitable sentiment but where do you draw the line? some people draw it at letting people track dog feces and tuberculosis phlegm through their home.

I've been in my home for 33 years and that has never happened. Stop worrying about what might happen and get on with living

odyssey06

Deub wrote: »

I provide sleepers and if they have support shoes they can obviously keep them on.
My floor more important than guest comfort? No but I assume keeping shoes is not so comfortable since majority of people remove them when they are at home. So please, be my guest. Make yourself comfortable and use the sleepers provided.

Even if what you say us true about the majority, what about the minority?
What if the person is perfectly comfortable in their own shoes?
Plus I might find it conmfortable to put on my own slippers when I get home, not necessarily whatever random set is in someone eles'e house.

I think phrasing it as a suggestion rather than an order means that people get the hint that you'd prefer them to take off shoes, but at the same time it gives them a diplomatic way of declining without having to mention support shoes, bad backs or perhaps the state of the slippers

facehugger99

Patww79 wrote: »

I wouldn't be going on about anything because I'd have turned and walked back out to the car straight away.

The internet loner has spoken.

Take heed lest you offend him further.

Patww79

Patww79 wrote: »

No. I won't take my shoes off, but I can't go in without taking my shoes off. What other option is there?

The clenched fist in the air, followed by 'I refuse to recognise the authority of this court!' is always the most decent of default positions, Pat. When they kick you out, you could turn around Edward O'Meagher Condon style to that judge in 1867 after he was sentenced to death, raise the fist up again and declare 'God Save Ireland!'.

OldMrBrennan83

[Deleted User] wrote: »

The clenched fist in the air, followed by 'I refuse to recognise the authority of this court!' is always the most decent of default positions, Pat. When they kick you out, you could turn around Edward O'Meagher Condon style to that judge in 1867 after he was sentenced to death, raise the fist up again and declare 'God Save Ireland!'.

Or just not go in. Like I said.

iamwhoiam

scamalert wrote: »

Now that's def an Irish thing, think about guest slipping and twisting their ankle and getting sued, should have a sign wet floors as well ? think its reasonable request in most cases people will have spare slippers lying around and its not like asking to chop of their legs, but why not make it 40+ page brag. how this makes it so impossibly hard to twist ones head around about keeping house clean.

I never mentioned a word about sueing or slipping ?
No idea why you answered my post with " a 40+ page brag " ? I don't even know what your point to me is ? My point was that in countries were its norm to take off your shoes they are more prepared for it . See my post about Canada and how its norm there for practical reasons and nothing to do with sueing ?


Here is it

We visited in BC Canada and practicality means people take their outdoor shoes off . They all have trays at the door for the snowy wet shoes and most people carry indoor socks with rubber strips on the soles to change into . The tray is usually under a wooden shelf where people can sit to take off their big snow boots . People have a few pairs of clean rubber soled socks in their home for the incase too
You need to be prepared if you want people to take off their shoes in my opinion

the_pen_turner

To all those that take off their shoes. Surely you change your socks after every house change. If you don't you are dragging all this dirt around every house you go to

meeeeh

odyssey06 wrote: »

Your post is riddled with contradictions as it seems to demonstrate the same jingoistic qualities you seem to take issue with?
If a guest insists on shoes on they are placing it above friendship, but if a host insists on shoes off they are not???

Yes that's exactly it. Normal people show up at the door and have first a big argument about shoes of or on and then someone goes off in a huff or is sent away. Or just maybe in normal situations people just adapt to situation.

Ireland is becoming increasingly multicultural and it's likely some will require people to take off their shoes when visiting them in their home.

LirW

meeeeh wrote: »

Yes that's exactly it. Normal people show up at the door and have first a big argument about shoes of or on and then someone goes off in a huff or is sent away.

That's pretty much how I imagine some people on the thread here.

When I can leave my shoes on I leave them on, I ask first thing when I get somewhere if I should take them off. If they'd prefer me to take it off, I take them off and go on with the visit without ever thinking about it again for the rest of the day. I really don't see why this is such a big deal to many.

odyssey06

LirW wrote: »

That's pretty much how I imagine some people on the thread here.

When I can leave my shoes on I leave them on, I ask first thing when I get somewhere if I should take them off. If they'd prefer me to take it off, I take them off and go on with the visit without ever thinking about it again for the rest of the day. I really don't see why this is such a big deal to many.

Well you may not have an issue with it but there are lots of people on this thread explaining why they have an issue with it whose point of view you seem to be rejecting as insincere or maybe you just don't care.
Or you could just accept what they are saying and take it as a given there are people who have an issue with it.
Even if they are the minority, and I don't think they necessarily are, so what?
If 60% or 80% have no issue with it, it doesn't mean the point of view of the 20% or the 40% is illegitimate. That doesn't make them "not normal" either, for what it's worth.
In other countries it might be an expectation, and possibly if I lived in a snow heavy country like Canada or Poland I'd agree. Just as I would put snow tyres on in winter. But this is Ireland and it is not an expectation here.

This is why in my posts I think the reasonable position in Ireland is that it should be a suggestion not an ultimatum.

LirW

I don't know, some posts do come across as "but it has always been like that at mammy's, it's Irish culture". There are plenty of people here that are Irish that don't like their guests walking around in shoes either.
I really see this as a non-issue when someone asks me to take my shoes off inside. Personally I'm not having orthopedic issues a bad back or anything.
I also don't see a difference in an Irish person asking guests to take their shoes off in Ireland and a German person doing the same in Germany. While Germans get away with it because it's their custom, Irish are precious because about half the population prefers not to take their shoes off?

odyssey06

LirW wrote: »

I don't know, some posts do come across as "but it has always been like that at mammy's, it's Irish culture". There are plenty of people here that are Irish that don't like their guests walking around in shoes either.
I really see this as a non-issue when someone asks me to take my shoes off inside. Personally I'm not having orthopedic issues a bad back or anything.
I also don't see a difference in an Irish person asking guests to take their shoes off in Ireland and a German person doing the same in Germany. While Germans get away with it because it's their custom, Irish are precious because about half the population prefers not to take their shoes off?

I'm sure lots of people like yourself won't see any issue either way, but if we're talking about a general rule then we need to consider the people with the orthopedic issues or the bad back or whatever (as guests) and the people with compromised immune systems (as hosts).

Expectations per country do matter. It's not a question of getting away with something or being precious, it's what people are prepared for \ make allowances for and what's appropriate to the conditions of the local environment.

Someone in Croatia may expect a present on their name day (i.e. someone called Patrick on the 17th), and may be prepared to give a present to a loved one on their name day. It's a custom \ tradition. They are not being precious or getting away with something.
On the other side, someone in Ireland knows the ins and outs of getting into a round with someone; and either you are in or out of the round. Someone from abroad who knows how rounds works but feigns ignorance to get free drinks is getting away with something!

In the history of humanity, wearing shoes has always been a symbol of power / authority.

Not wearing shoes is a sign of submission / innocence.

I can totally understand somebody not feeling comfortable removing their shoes so I would never request it of anyone.

When I have guests, I want THEM to feel at ease and at home.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Patww79 wrote: »

No. I won't take my shoes off, but I can't go in without taking my shoes off. What other option is there?

Why would you not take off your shoes? Are there any other house rules you don't follow? I am curious to know :P

DaverageJoe

Rudy Uneven Cuttlefish wrote: »

Why would you not take off your shoes? Are there any other house rules you don't follow? I am curious to know :P

No biscuits or sweets before your dinner. I'm sorry Xavier, I know you're a 45 year old man and you'd like a digestive with your tea but as long as you're under my roof you'll abide by my rules! And you'll sit there shoeless and biscuitless until I deem it fit to release you back to the filth from which you came!

I'd love to see some of these die-hards at the door in a country where shoes inside is unheard of and highly disrespectful. Would they still be aghast?.

jimbobaloobob

I was in Dublin just before the Christmas and the amount of dog crap (i hope that's all it was) on the streets was revolting. I was staying in a friends house and no way could i bring in my shoes, id hate to be visiting a house where people didn't remove their shoes.

Nobody gets past the mat inside our front door without taking their shoes off. Anyone who would have a problem doing so (I’ve never had to ask the people we’d have in our home) would be seen as being downright disrespectful and would be invited to leave as soon as they’d arrived.

Dog dirt, muck, chewing gum, grit and small pebbles stuck in the soles don’t mix with rugs, carpet and hardwood flooring. You’d have to be a right arsehole to expect someone else to have to clean up your dirt or incur needless damage to floor surfaces just because you’re happy to drag dirt off the street into your own homes.

Guests should show courtesy and good manners in their hosts homes. Take off your shoes if you know it’s their practice and make a habit of offering if you’re not sure.

somefeen

Deub wrote: »

But people do and come back so that doesn't seem to be an issue as big as some people try to make it on this thread.

Its really not a big deal for a reasonably minded person.

"Do you mind leaving your shoes at the door?"
"No bother"

Like its hardly a personal insult if they ask everyone.

Gimme A Pound

Deleted User wrote: »

I'd love to see some of these die-hards at the door in a country where shoes inside is unheard of and highly disrespectful. Would they still be aghast?.

Well I'd be totally ok with it because it's a custom that's long ingrained. In Ireland though it's not a custom among Irish people (although I'd comply if asked, but I have never ever been asked to do so, even by hygiene obsessives - I think it's weird how people are pretending it's so standard here).

Carpets and toddlers - understandable to an extent, but wooden or tiled floors and no toddlers, and shoes with no dirt on them? It reeks of OCD tendencies. There's all this stuff being said about shyte being dragged in. Such dishonest rubbish. Nobody would ever walk into a home with faeces or mud on their shoes. This pretence that the floor is going to be crawling with dirt just because shoes - not dirty shoes, just shoes - were worn walking on it. It's hysterical. The floor is going to look the exact same and floors have to be swept and mopped frequently enough anyway. As for invisible germs - nobody (hopefully) will be licking the floor.

A post above - "You'd have to be a right arsehole..." to wear shoes because of not being used to this practice and not thinking about it? Talk about aggressive. If a guest has tea/coffee and biscuits their host generally cleans up after them - the arseholes.

Then there's the talk of manners - what about manners towards guests? Some people are not comfortable with exposing their (even socks encased) feet.

As well as OCD and more worried about the bloody floor than guests' comfort, it comes across as snooty and pretentious. Where do they get it from? Because it's not the norm.

And I have my own property and I'm quite particular about hygiene - so I have a doormat that people always wipe their feet on, and I sweep/hoover and wash/steam the floors. Crumbs and hairs and fluff are what I find mostly, not shoe horrors.

Ruth Nutty Treachery

Ruth Nutty Treachery wrote: »

A post above - "You'd have to be a right arsehole..." to wear shoes because of not being used to this practice and not thinking about it? Talk about aggressive.

Then there's the talk of manners - what about manners towards guests? Some people are not comfortable with exposing their (even socks encased) feet.

As well as OCD and more worried about the bloody floor than guests' comfort, it comes across as snooty and pretentious.

Aggressive? Pfft.

Yes, manners and respect. Take off your dirty shoes. My home, not yours. If you don’t mind your floor being no better than the footpath outside, fire away.

As for snooty and pretentious, well, I hardly care what you think in any case. So, yes, snooty. Go look up pretentious and see if you should be using a word you don’t understand. Oh, the irony.

Gimme A Pound

JayZeus wrote: »

Aggressive? Pfft.

Yes, manners and respect. Take off your dirty shoes. My home, not yours. If you don’t mind your floor being no better than the footpath outside, fire away.

As for snooty and pretentious, well, I hardly care what you think in any case. So, yes, snooty. Go look up pretentious and see if you should be using a word you don’t understand. Oh, the irony.

Quite the hostile type. Shoes aren't automatically dirty just because they were worn outside - your obsessive view is not the norm and you shouldn't expect everyone else to share it. The floor won't be one bit like the footpath outside - which isn't necessarily covered in dog shyte and other stuff either. Mine is spotless.

I didn't say you should care what I think (although I think you do).

Ruth Nutty Treachery

Ruth Nutty Treachery wrote: »

Quite the hostile type. Shoes aren't automatically dirty just because they were worn outside - your obsessive view is not the norm and you shouldn't expect everyone else to share it.

I didn't say you should care what I think (although I think you do).

Your obsession with my non-obsession has been noted already.

I don’t expect everyone to share my view. However, in my home (and an ever increasing number of others), removing your footwear at the door is a reasonable expectation of the host and should be respected as their absolute decision to make.

You can decide for your own home whether to adopt the same practice, or not. Your home, your rules. My home, my rules.

of all of the topics ive seen be the subject of internet hardmanning, "i take my shoes off for no man" has to be the strangest

Gimme A Pound

JayZeus, if you ask people pleasantly to remove their shoes before entering your home, they should do so. I have never ever been asked to, but I absolutely would if visiting a home with that rule. Not doing so (unless there is some good reason) would be unfair. Although would you even expect it of, say, a very old frail person?

However, that won't change my view on things like pretending shoes without a speck on them = dirty shoes that will cause a floor to look like a filthy grotty footpath that they haven't walked on. I mean come on, do you not see how that's totally disproprtionate to reality? Of course some shoes will get covered in dirt and it goes without saying that they should be removed, but it's really too much to call people arseholes for walking into a house when there is no physical dirt on their shoes, and accusing them of sneakily thinking "ahaaa, the host will clean up after my non dirty shoes destroy the place". I don't think that way about my guests, and sure enough there isn't a speck after them - of course there wouldn't be. And I will dust and clean the floors because that has to be done anyway, shoes or no shoes.

It's not a standard practice here so people usually won't think of it when their shoes don't have dirt on them. That does not make them arseholes.

Now if someone did have dirt encrusted shoes on and just sauntered in, that certainly is arseholish, but you're acting as though that's the case with any shoes whatsoever that have been worn outside. Unless everyone who calls to your home actually does have mucky shoes, in which case fair enough.

Gimme A Pound

Deleted User wrote: »

of all of the topics ive seen be the subject of internet hardmanning, "i take my shoes off for no man" has to be the strangest

I would take my shoes off but fair bit of internet hardmanning from the other "side" too. Having to remove non dirty shoes in a home with no carpets or toddlers and be in your socks like a child is bad enough but some of the accompanying attitudes are even worse.

The internet is the only place I encounter it though - despite the pretence that it's really commonplace in this country among Irish people. It really really isn't.

Gimme A Pound

LirW wrote: »

I don't know, some posts do come across as "but it has always been like that at mammy's, it's Irish culture". There are plenty of people here that are Irish that don't like their guests walking around in shoes either.
I really see this as a non-issue when someone asks me to take my shoes off inside. Personally I'm not having orthopedic issues a bad back or anything.
I also don't see a difference in an Irish person asking guests to take their shoes off in Ireland and a German person doing the same in Germany. While Germans get away with it because it's their custom, Irish are precious because about half the population prefers not to take their shoes off?

Don't know where you're getting the numbers from. As an Irish person who has lived here all my life, my experience of irish people not having an issue with wearing shoes indoors has been 100%.

Any apartment-dwellers here? Can you hear your neighbors walk around upstairs, or did you luck out and get people who take their shoes off?