Male carer for toddlers and its impact on kids

Glass fused light

shesty wrote: »

This thread has gone out of control!

Perhaps I misinterpreted the words and context of the post when readings the ' training' used in conjunction with 'hard wired'.  The nature over nurture argument. For me there is the inference that a male carer changing a nappy can't overcome the hard wiring by training.  It could be that that poster views all other males as potential child abusers or just that I am hearing hooves and thinking zebra.

shesty wrote: »

This father IS hardwired to think this way, because society encourages it!! Look at ads/tv/magazines, the works.

OT: For me ^^ is the OP receiving daily software updates.

shesty wrote: »

I think this dad has had a knee jerk reaction to seeing a man in the creche (same as any of us might) but I hope he has had time to think about it and realise it was just that; a knee-jerk reaction.

But even the OP is not suggesting that the male carer is a child abuser/pervert.  If that was the knee-jerk reaction for the discomfort it's natural reaction to the media saturation even if not rational.

kerten wrote: »

I have a 2.5 years old  daughter who didn't go through potty training yet and atteding to  full time childcare for last 18 months. Today I am told that one of her carers will be male. 
I am not comfortable with this because of the daily message being given to my daughter as it is ok to be touched by male person who is not her father or at least in families social circle at 2 years of age.
I am not concerned about the individual being a pervert or anything like that. My concern is reducing the barrier of accepting requests of strangers on the street for my kid.
....
Don't take me as close minded individual resisting change. I am perfectly fine with male carer when kid is over 4years old where she doesn't need support in toilet, etc 

he's a first time dad with no instruction manual, learning on the job 
By all means if he feels more comfortable with an all female staff moving crèche is the best option.   the worry bit is the segregation between 'safe' males and 'unsafe' males.  In this instance the OP should be thinking how to encourage bodily autonomy in his child and how to work that into his child care arrangements. 
eg if she comes back with out an undervest how is he going to handle the concept that the carer has permission to change your bum but should not be stripping you.  Only to find out that the vest in her bag is wet and dirty and the carer confirms what happened the next morning.  Or her running around naked (at home, at a swimming pool, etc.) without giving her negative messages about her body. 

redarmyblues

Off topic but we are getting the house rewired and when the contractor came around the other day he had a Lady electrician with him that is going to do the work, we will all be electrocuted or burnt in our beds surely, I fear for my children. I mean ban gardai are OK, some body had to mind children who get lost until their mother collects them and Lady doctors are needed so women can discuss, ahem "lady problems" but you wouldn't want one operating on you, before you know it they will want to join the golf club, where will it end.

Theboinkmaster

Neyite wrote: »

Yes, but that's NOT what I suggested.
I suggested that he talk to the creche about their safeguarding policies. See below:


Nowhere did I suggest that he go in guns blazing to talk about his concerns over the male staffer. Except in your head that is.

It's not in my head - you said it.

Neyite wrote: »

Talk to the crèche. It may be that they have organised workload in such a way that toileting will be taken care of by other female staff.

So you want him to ask specifically about toileting and whether or not the male is involved...