Moving country with a newborn

naturalgems18

Hi all,

FTM here and looking for some advise. I'm due in August & live in the UK - my husband & I would both love to move back home to raise the baby and he's been offered a job, which is great. Only problem is, we'd have to move when the baby is around 4-5 weeks old & we have to sell our house in the UK and find a rental in Dublin. Are we mad? I'm seriously panicking about how feasible this will be so soon after the birth, plus we won't have family around to help out at all with it so it would be a pretty big undertaking.

Thanks!

Third_Echelon

My son just turned 5 weeks old (first time parents) and I can say that it's a lot of work (if you haven't guessed that already) :-)

The first 4 weeks are just all action and lack of sleep => feed, changes, sleep, repeat every few hours. I don't think i'd like to take on a project such as moving house in that time. It's only really around 5 weeks that things and becoming a bit more 'normal' and everyone is getting used to their new roles. Planning anything revolves around his feeding time. You have a window of a few hours to do anything :-)

The only way that I see it as doable is that if you get a moving company to totally pack and ship your house contents and you have somewhere lined up already back in Ireland.

Sausage dog

I've moved house in the last few weeks & am due first baby next week. A few things to note....you can pack up boxes etc but then you can't lift or move them. Your ability to move, shift, haul things around is greatly diminished & then at late pregnancy stage your energy levels aren't what they used to be either. It's not an easy task. That's just the packing up bit...u then have to unpack!

shesty

I have been thinking about this post for a couple of days (time on my hands!!!).
You certainly could do it but it would be really hard to be honest.Like....really hard.I didn't want to say that without thinking about it first though, coz it's amazing what you can do when you really have to.....
The first 6 weeks at least are a haze of exhaustion.If you are breastfeeding, baby will cluster feed which means you spend hours on the couch or in bed letting them suck away.Any tiny bit of time you get is spent showering/sleeping/eating.It literally comes down to .....will I sleep or eat in this 30min slot?That basic.Everything else just falls asunder around you-you might fill the washing machine the odd time and that's it.You are sore for at least the first two weeks, assuming vaginal delivery, and up to six weeks if a C section.As a first time mum, you will have doctor visits etc, and you are making the assumption also that you will have a normal delivery, no complications and no issues with feeding or anything afterwards (which obviously is totally possible, but just to realise it may not be that straightforward)

The other thing is....hormones!!!Do not underestimate them.Combined with tiredness, they are fairly heavy duty, and a big house/country move could just be too much for you to take when you throw them into the mix.They say it takes 12 weeks to make a mother, and honestly that's true.It will probably be 9/10 weeks before you feel you have a bit of control, you are a bit on top of things and your life has adjusted somewhat to this new arrival.

I think ..... yes if you were absolutely pushed to it, you had a moving company, a house lined up and some help, yes you could do it (at a push).Otherwise....no. I wouldn't advise it and would suggest you think of other ways to work it somehow, at least giving yourself about 3 months before doing it.

lazygal

Not with a newborn, no way would I sell a house and try to find a rental in the crazy Dublin property market.
Recovery from birth, getting going with breastfeeding, getting used to the baby, the hormones, the postpartum bleeding, possible post birth complications, you couldn't pay me to do it.
I'm sure someone has done it successfully but I wouldn't even think about it TBH.

rainbow kirby

I wouldn't do it. My baby is 12 weeks old now and I wouldn't have wanted to make any significant changes before that!

dizzymiss

I did it when my son was 4weeks old and also had a one year old. We only moved 20miles but looking back it was so tough. I wouldn't do it again.

naturalgems18

Thanks so much for all your replies, really appreciated!

Sausage dog

Sorry if this is irrelevent now but I'm coming back to this now that I've had a baby. First, don't assume the birth will go to plan. I came home on crutches and am only back walking properly now 10 weeks later. That was a shock to the system and totally unexpected. It affected everything. Secondly, there could be complications with the baby needing hospital care for first few weeks so planning to move country in advance without knowing how things turn out might not be a good idea.
Assuming all goes to plan and everyone arrives home in good health you will probably not get a minute to do anything moving house related in the first month or two. Your energy will be taken up with feeding and looking after the baby. Don't underestimate the time it takes and how the lack of sleep leaves you feeling fit for nothing else. You are in survival mode. Or at least that's been my experience. Baby becomes no.1 and it's difficult to muster up both the interest and the energy in moving house, etc. Things you did easily on your own now become so much more of an ordeal because baby comes too. You are far less mobile than before. A job that should take an hour (packing a box) can take three hours if you're trying to mind baby as well and they're not asleep.
If at all possible I'd try to push out moving to a later date. Lower your expectations as to what you will be able to do or how you will be able to contribute to the move. Enlist as much help, paid or free, as possible.
Best of luck!

Cameoette

Hi OP, for what it’s worth, my Mam moved to the US from Ireland when my baby sister was 10 weeks old and she still talks about how hard it was. I would advise waiting, if you can at all.

naturalgems18

Thanks so much for your input - we have decided to wait a year and see how we feel then! To be honest, I'm relieved - like you mention, Sausage dog, you can't assume everything will go to plan so we really would have  been taking a chance with it.

Sausage dog

Probably a good idea...you'll have enough upheaval in your lives soon. Best of luck