I am haunted by my last job, anyone with advice?

little miss sunshine1

Basically, I feel 'haunted' by my last job.

Basically, I was badly bullied twice by supervisors, so much so that I nearly retched most days before work. These supervisors were known personal friends' of the senior management.

I was given the impression that nothing I ever did was good enough in their eyes, and either outright ignored, or shouted at, harshly spoken to, or spoken to like an imbecile. I frequently told management about their poor treatment of me, but to no avail. Basically management's attitude was when they were alerted to their treatment of me, was 'If you're not happy here, I won't stop you from finding another job', basically brushing the whole issue off, and not doing anything about it.
After I left this job, these supervisors were embroiled in further conflict with the same managers' themselves, and both handed in their resignations. Basically I was proven right about these people I complained about.
Just did n't feel respected, and felt like everyone's dogsbody.
Even though I am no longer in this job now, I often wake up in the middle of the night, reliving all my bad experiences, and it gives me feelings of utter panic, and distress.
Anyone else able to relate?

Dark Rabbit

Sorry to hear you had this experience. Unfortunately, this does happen. Sounds like they crossed a few red lines shouting at you or speaking to you like an imbecile. I take it there was no union at the company?

James Bond Junior

Was in your place. Time gives great perspective. Treat your last job as a former part of your life. Remember those people you worked with were only colleagues, they don't and shouldn't figure as part of your life, dehumanise them and think of them as tools you used as part of your job. You wouldn't invite them into your home, you wouldn't socialise with them, if you saw them in the street you wouldn't stop to say hello. Don't let them into your mind, they have no power over you anymore, if anything you have the power as they can have no bearing over you anymore.

doolox

I was once the victim of bullying in the workplace at various times in my life and had to take action to get rid of it. Many years were spent in counselling and therapy to teach me how to handle bullying behaviour and prevent the past episodes from having any further effect on my life.

Companies are duty bound to protect their employees from the adverse effects of bullying and this is taken seriously now compared to past decades when nothing was done because of the scarcity of jobs and the high levels of unemployment and misery rampant in Ireland.

This is why it is imperative that everyone work to maintain our jobs and competitiveness in an increasingly competitive world. Bosses sometimes feel under pressure to make more effective use of their labour force but this does not excuse abrasive behaviour and disrespect sometimes shown to staff in many sectors.

I have found that high levels of education and unique set of skills can ward off most bullying behaviour. Try and become an expert in some domain in your sector. Useful and expert people tend not to be bullied.

Look after your self and your health. Ironically this may mean not complying to the bullies demands and not pushing so hard at work that your physical and mental health suffer. Sometimes you have to say no.

Look into your family finances and circumstances, it is becoming increasingly difficult to support the cost of living in many areas in Ireland. High rents, which I regard as an insidious form of bullying, can mean people push themselves too hard at work and their health suffers. Tiredness and fatigue makes their performance suffer and the bullying starts.

It may mean retreating to cheaper parts of the country and seeking a different job or income source. It may mean looking for a different job. Best of luck in what you decide to do and I hope you get ti better times.

little miss sunshine1

little miss sunshine1 wrote: »

Basically, I feel 'haunted' by my last job.

Basically, I was badly bullied twice by supervisors, so much so that I nearly retched most days before work. These supervisors were known personal friends' of the senior management.

I was given the impression that nothing I ever did was good enough in their eyes, and either outright ignored, or shouted at, harshly spoken to, or spoken to like an imbecile. I frequently told management about their poor treatment of me, but to no avail. Basically management's attitude was when they were alerted to their treatment of me, was 'If you're not happy here, I won't stop you from finding another job', basically brushing the whole issue off, and not doing anything about it.
After I left this job, these supervisors were embroiled in further conflict with the same managers' themselves, and both handed in their resignations.
Just did n't feel respected, and felt like everyone's dogsbody.
Even though I am no longer in this job now, I often wake up in the middle of the night, reliving all my bad experiences, and it gives me feelings of utter panic, and distress.
Anyone else able to relate?

Can relate in terms of bab managers, if you've any evidence perhaps speak to a solicitor as nothing hurts them more than being hit in the pocket. Otherwise
I hope your next job is with a better company. There will be nasty little sh1ts in all walks of life and the workplace isn't immune from that as you know, but if you find it happening again make sure you gather evidence.

nkav86

I've had a job like this, it ruined my confidence for quite a while. I still think of it and doubt myself. I think I'll always hang on to it in some way. To put it simply, the way I found to get past it was to upskill, to give myself confidence again so I could feel accomplished even though they had said I wasn't capable.

I also found I needed to go through it all again and try to get some perspective, I did the job to the best of my ability at that time, it just wasn't enough for them. That happens, but I did all I could and that was really all I could have asked of myself.

It's an awful situation to be in, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

beauf

This is post traumatic stress isn't it. Maybe you should seek some counseling. It might be very helpful.

I think you have to come to realise this was an dysfunction situation and environment that you had no control over. Other than leaving. A bad experience is still experience and you can leverage that in the future.

I can see these toxic situations much faster now deal with them better.

little miss sunshine1

doolox, thank you for the reply. I was actually the highest qualified worker in my place of work. I don't know if this had anything to do with the issue, though at the time.

Seve OB

sounds like a case of constructive dismissal to me.

i feel there is a claim coming here

doolox

Bosses love to tell their employees they are useless and devalue them to keep them from looking for more money or shorter hours or better conditions.

Externally and independently earned qualifications are very useful in showing up lying bosses and also having good relations with fellow workers at work can help but the modern workplace can be full of backstabbers and servile rats so you need to be careful about this.

There is also the danger of being more qualified than the boss and showing him up, in his own mind.

It is never any harm to have access to external information about the conditions and earnings in your sector, unions are useful for this but many unions are not as good at defending workers rights in regard to individual cases of bullying or abrasive behaviour by bosses.

Always make a habit of applying for and seeking information about other jobs in your sector so as to keep abreast of competing terms and conditions of work, even if you are happy in your job. You never know when a bully will spoil things.

I hope things work out well for you.

beechwood55

How long is it since you left the job?

the14thwarrior

i hope you feel better soon.
i was bullied at work, and everybody knew but really, couldn't do much about it. policies were followed but the behaviour went on for years. managers came and went. I made a complaint, won, she appealed, i won, she appealed to labour court, i won again. but not on the bullying bit, i mean they only found for two things and the rest put down to personality clashes, unproven allegations, etc. as a lot of her bullying went on behind closed doors, in insiduous manner that you could not prove or get evidence. but i got closure in some sense, you didn't.
i think that is hard.
i used to work up at night, sweating. mad at myself for not stopping it.
mad at the work place for allowing it to continue
disgusted that she got away with it.
annoyed as hell at myself for not .... saying this.... and doing this......
i would think of ways to get even.
i eventually had to read, educate myself, go to counselling, talk, read, educate, understand her behaviour, my behaviour.
i learned to be kind to myself.
i learned that i was a victim.
i learned that the strong, likeble, hard workers are most likly to be bullied

i want you to do everything you can to ensure this will never define you
please