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kids makings friends, but their friends parents??

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    #32
    osarusan
    Registered Users Posts: 16,624 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    Big Bag of Chips wrote: »
    Tell him you're not comfortable with his daughter being on your daughter's bike unless she wears a helmet and ask him to make sure she has one.
    Seems reasonable.
    Big Bag of Chips wrote: »
    Or else, tell your daughter to bring all her stuff into the back garden and not allow the little one to use it.
    What? Why?
    Big Bag of Chips wrote: »
    Or else tell your 4 year old that she's not allowed play with the other 4 year old because her dad won't speak to you.
    What? Why?


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    #33
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 14,034 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    Because if he doesn't want to approach him to ask him to make sure his daughter has a helmet then suggestion 2, (and maybe even 3 depending on how strgonly he feels about the man not speaking to him) is an option for him. He also seems to think he is somehow being "used" by the man so if he honestly feels that way then maybe he is better cutting off the budding friendship.

    Of course I think suggestion 2 and 3 are a bit extreme, but I'm stuggling to understand what his real issue is with the father not speaking to him.

    He could of course just sit in his garden watching his own daughter playing with a new friend without over thinking it.


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    #34
    osarusan
    Registered Users Posts: 16,624 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

    Of course I think suggestion 2 and 3 are a bit extreme, but I'm stuggling to understand what his real issue is with the father not speaking to him.

    He could of course just sit in his garden watching his own daughter playing with a new friend without over thinking it.
    Options 2 and 3 will just result in his daughter losing a friend that they play with. I don't know if you are serious about them, or trying to make a point about the OP overreacting.

    OP, let the kids play together just like the other kids in the neighbourhood. Whatever issues you have with/perception you have of the other father, don't let that impact on the kids' relationship.

    You seem to be reading a lot into his behaviour - perhaps he is just a quiet or socially awkward person. Treat it as that until you have more reason not to.


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    #35
    RebelButtMunch
    Registered Users Posts: 2,383 ✭✭✭RebelButtMunch


    Maybe your not his cup of tea. Each to their own, as long as the kids are out having fun, thats the main thing.


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    #36
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Big Bag of Chips wrote: »
    So what advice ar you looking for? Or are you just having a rant? Next time he comes around with his daughter, if he doesn't approach you you can approach him. Tell him you're not comfortable with his daughter being on your daughter's bike unless she wears a helmet and ask him to make sure she has one. Or else, tell your daughter to bring all her stuff into the back garden and not allow the little one to use it. Or else tell your 4 year old that she's not allowed play with the other 4 year old because her dad won't speak to you.
    Sounds like there is too much vinegar in your back.


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    #37
    nitpick man
    Registered Users Posts: 49 ✭nitpick man


    Big Bag of Chips wrote: »
    So what advice ar you looking for? Or are you just having a rant? Next time he comes around with his daughter, if he doesn't approach you you can approach him. Tell him you're not comfortable with his daughter being on your daughter's bike unless she wears a helmet and ask him to make sure she has one. Or else, tell your daughter to bring all her stuff into the back garden and not allow the little one to use it. Or else tell your 4 year old that she's not allowed play with the other 4 year old because her dad won't speak to you.
    Wondering if there Is too much vinegar on your chips making your bag all soggy.
    This has nothing to do with friendship with the parent or me wanting a friend. It is that fact that there was NO verbal or non-verbal communication from him towards us


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    #38
    nitpick man
    Registered Users Posts: 49 ✭nitpick man


    Big Bag of Chips wrote: »
    Or else tell your 4 year old that she's not allowed play with the other 4 year old because her dad won't speak to you.
    This is NOT advice and coming from a MOD.


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    #39
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 14,034 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    nitpick man wrote: »
    It is that fact that there was NO verbal or non-verbal communication from him towards us

    So what advice are you looking for from people here? We can't change him. We can't explain why he didn't talk to you. All we can do is offer you advice on what you can do in future around him, ie approach him to try speak to him, or don't. You seem to be implying that his daughter's friendship with your daughter is a problem (you feel "used") - so you either try talk to him, or don't - or you discourage your daughter from being friends with his daughter (by maybe not being available when she calls around to play) if the situation leaves you and your wife feeling "strange".
    nitpick man wrote: »
    This is NOT advice and coming from a MOD.

    I am not a moderator in this forum, I'm just an ordinary poster, like you!


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    #40
    georgina toadbum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 364 ✭✭georgina toadbum


    Maybe he just doesn't like you?


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    #41
    az2wp0sye65487
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,931 ✭✭✭az2wp0sye65487


    I can be like your neighbour from time to time OP. Sometimes I can make a real effort chatting to new people etc. But other times I find it difficult to strike up conversations.

    My wife told me before that I can come across as rude to others - and I honestly didn't know what she was talking about. Even after I'd been speaking to someone and in my own mind I was being great craic!

    So he might just be oblivious.

    Either that or he can't stand you, but knows his daughter likes your daughter so is suffering the awkwardness for the sake of his daughter making a friend...


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    #42
    Chocolate fiend
    Registered Users Posts: 465 ✭✭Chocolate fiend


    I have 3 and the oldest is 10 now and some days I don't even want to talk to myself, I don't make excuses, I am not rude, I just don't have the mental energy to engage in small talk. I could be that man. I am not socially awkward, I am not rude, I am simply engaging in a bit of self care from time to time, and that means putting myself first.

    Yes a nod or a quick hello would be nice and is a social norm, but you can only do your thing, you can't make him be the person you want him to be.

    I would say get over it and don't invest so heavily in things like this - if you guys are going to be friends it will evolve organically, and maybe some day he will tell you about the days he isn't able to face the world but still has to get up and take his daughter to the park and how judged he feels.


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