What are your no-no's with dating?

housetypeb

Tell me how wrote: »

And modest... Girls love a man who's modest.

"A modest man,who has much to be modest about" as Churchill said about Clement Atlee.

Try_harder

A penis and a pulse, in that order.

Wait, they are my only two must haves.

So no Miss Vangie and no dead ppl

And no baggage - I'm a bit like Ryanair on that one.

Underground

So, with online dating etc.

The bios, it's always in the bios.

"XYZ enthusiast" - XYZ usually being tea, gin, gym, wine, GOT, or some other derivative shyte that tells me nothing about you.

"You know what I call guys under 6 foot? Friends." - You know she's a delight when you see this one.

"If you have pics with your dog, the dog is probably why I swiped right." - Mmkay.

"Looking for someone to travel with" - That's a bit off-putting.

"Looking for someone to bring to family events so they stop thinking I'm weird / willing to say we met at coppers / warning: may be less attractive in person" - all just so cliché at this point.

Away from the bios, some brief observations on photos.

The pensive, scenic, back-to-the-camera, overlooking scenic vista photo, you know the one. The photo they made their friend / ex take 10 attempts at to get the right angle before deciding on one. Immediate hallmark of the basic b*tch.

Headshots only / Snapchat filters / all group photos = alarm bells.

These are just observations off the top of my head, I'm sure the lads are every bit as bad, if not worse.

Brae100

RhubarbCrumble

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

Oh yeah what's the story with women having pictures with that weirdo Brent Pope?

Because he's quite hot.

RhubarbCrumble

RhubarbCrumble wrote: »

Because he's quite hot.

who? B r ent Pope?

Underground

Underground wrote: »

"You know what I call guys under 6 foot? Friends." - You know she's a delight when you see this one.

Christ al-fúcking-mighty! Are there genuinely women out there who use that line? A preference for taller lads is fair enough, but to actually be so stuck-up and downright nasty use a line like that....some people simply deserve to live a life unloved and die a slow painful death alone.

JohnnyFlash

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Christ al-fúcking-mighty! Are there genuinely women out there who use that line? A preference for taller lads is fair enough, but to actually be so stuck-up and downright nasty use a line like that....some people simply deserve to live a life unloved and die a slow painful death alone.

Bit harsh no?

You a manlet?

ED E

Hapax Legomenon wrote: »

Sedated tiger photo

So much this.

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

Brazilians don't do it for me for some reason, and there seems to be 1000s of them in Dublin.

I want a date, not teach english.

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

Tinder is a waste of time. Bumble is the absolute bomb though, so easy to get dates.

Really? Id say the opposite. Women are pretty crap at initiating.

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

Girls in Leinster jerseys, shudder!

GAA jerseys too.

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

There’s a strangely high number of women with pictures on horses and for some reason I swipe past these ones every time

Daddys little princess. Feck off. Usually its one of her, one of her on horse, horse, horse, horse.

JackTaylorFan

Arrival wrote: »

Only selfies - means they've more than likely no personality and hobbies and high potential to be a narcissist. Nothing better than someone having a laugh in their pictures and looking like they'd be worth meeting up with. Bonus points for having at least something with a bit of thought put into it as a bio

You'd be shocked with the amount of effort people put into getting the perfect photo taken whilst posing during an event - all to give the impression that they are fun and active, but in actuality spend most their time pestering other people to take their photo. It's not a selfie but it's just as self-obsessed, if not more, as you actually have to bother someone else to take the shot. I stopped hanging out with one girl because she was so bad.

JackTaylorFan

- No profile pic (including face) - Blocked

- only one poorly lit profile pic - Blocked

- No "How r u?"s (or any variation on that theme) openers; I actually put an effort into my profile, if you can't think of something to say in your first message to me, that reflects something in my "about me" section, or you just can't be bothered to read my profile, then you're (yep!) - Blocked.

- If you're polyamorous - so Blocked

- Use of textspeak (unironically) - Blocked

- Not knowing the difference between your and you're - Blocked

- Believes in a god (any god) - Blocked

- Gives you their whatsapp/skype/snapchat/etc contact details unsolicited - Blocked

- Their username is their actual real-life full name and surname - Blocked

- Holding an ice-cream cone in profile pic - Blocked

- Their profile contains the words "easy-going" or/and "open-minded" - hovering closely over the block button

- "No drama" notices in their profile - Blocked

And many more

Brae100

Someone posted earlier that their turn off was if if a man had children. I've seen this sentiment expressed by a few women on POF and am intrigued by it for a couple of reasons. I don't think men state in their profile that they wouldn't date a woman with kids (very much open to correction here as I am not familiar with other men's profiles). But as a lone male parent I was surprised to see this requitement in some women's profiles. In my experience, most women are actually very positive about a man who has kids and is proven in that area.

Triceratops Ballet

So many red flags:

Dudes with only one photo - what you can't be arsed finding a single other photo?

Dudes with several versions of the same selfie taken either in their car or in the bathroom mirror - you couldn't find a single other human to take a decent photo of you or be in one with you?

Photos taken on in or beside your bed

Topless pics that are not summertime at the beach or in the park

Only photos of gangs of lads out drinking

Photos with good looking famous guys, don't put up a photo with Rob Kearney if you don't look amazing standing next to him!

"princesses need not apply" or other derogatory generalised statements about other women

No text in the profile - if you're not arsed why would I be

"Just ask" - as above

Photos with babies with the clarification that "it's my niece/nephew"... Eh so why have the picture? you could just not have used it then no clarification would be needed

Fake reviews - "he's a lovely boy" - my mam "total charmer" - former tinder date

"6'3 cos apparently that matters" - so you're judging the fact that height matters to some people but you also want to clarify that you exceed the perceived height requirement that are so bothersome

I'm sure there's a million others... needless to say I don't have the patience for tinder etc!

JohnnyFlash

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Bit harsh no?

You a manlet?

No and no.

There's a huge difference between simply having a preference, and being arrogant and rude about it.

cantdecide

Was seeing a girl who kept complaining about her housemate which is okay, he seemed like a bit of a wally but harmless enough until she said the night she was moving out she mixed veet into his shampoo to "get even"


If you don't know what a 'dolly zoom' is, I had one irl.

Grayson

The guy who created tinder was getting s many messages about the bad messages people were getting in Tinder that he created an instagram account for them.

https://www.instagram.com/tindernightmares/?hl=en

Some are just fcuking class.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BhkNS20hYkh/?hl=en&taken-by=tindernightmares

https://www.instagram.com/p/BhcJUDDBaz9/?hl=en

Sile Na Gig

This thread is terrifying. A good reminder to work on my marriage...

Donald Trump

mfceiling wrote: »

Christ I'm glad I met my missus the good old fashioned way.
I was renting out a room in my apartment in Sydney. She moved in with her mate. After a few too many beers we shifted in a smelly kip of an irish bar at about 4 in the morning then we shared a bag of chips an hour later. The rest is history.
You young people will never know romance like that.

Sorry to have to break it to you but about 60% of the fellas of a certain age on here know exactly what you are talking about.

In that they all shifted your missus.

Although not all of them had to buy her chips afterwards

notsoyoungwan

Brae100 wrote: »

Someone posted earlier that their turn off was if if a man had children. I've seen this sentiment expressed by a few women on POF and am intrigued by it for a couple of reasons. I don't think men state in their profile that they wouldn't date a woman with kids (very much open to correction here as I am not familiar with other men's profiles). But as a lone male parent I was surprised to see this requitement in some women's profiles. In my experience, most women are actually very positive about a man who has kids and is proven in that area.

That was me. Basically, for a variety of reasons I don’t want children myself and have zero interest in a relationship with someone who has them. It’s a huge non-negotiable deal-breaker for me, so if I see that someone has kids I keep on going. No point wasting my time or theirs. I’m well aware that the ‘pool’ of men will be reduced by me doing that, but that’s fine by me.

SimpleDimples

[Deleted User] wrote: »

When she describes self as "curvy" I run a mile. Don't even have to run so fast either :pac:

Really? - i'm size 10 but curvy, hourglass figure and no way of getting rid of the curves. Do people really just assume curvy means fat? :-(

Rochelle

Any association with cats, ever, in their entire lives....unless it involved killing one in a particularly cruel or inventive manner.

Grayson

SimpleDimples wrote: »

Really? - i'm size 10 but curvy, hourglass figure and no way of getting rid of the curves. Do people really just assume curvy means fat? :-(

Curvy is one of those euphemisms. Someone really large will describe themselves as curvy.
I don't think of that automatically but that's because some sites have the option to describe your figure. Loads of girls seem to put down curvy and when I look at their photo's they're a healthy weight. There are some that have that description and it seems the only qualification they have for curvy is that they aren't skinny as hell.

pickarooney

Brae100 wrote: »

Someone posted earlier that their turn off was if if a man had children. I've seen this sentiment expressed by a few women on POF and am intrigued by it for a couple of reasons. I don't think men state in their profile that they wouldn't date a woman with kids (very much open to correction here as I am not familiar with other men's profiles). But as a lone male parent I was surprised to see this requitement in some women's profiles. In my experience, most women are actually very positive about a man who has kids and is proven in that area.

I wouldn't take it personally. It's a potentially huge complication, especially for a younger woman. The kind of thing you're better off negotiating or avoiding from the get-go.

Tell me how

What this thread is telling me is lots of us are rushing to judgement over insignificant things. (Don't tell me someone wearing a rugby shirt is categorical proof that that defines their character). Too many reasons to shout next or block (why do you need to block???, are you being stalked by someone on a horse) instead of trying to find someone you maybe engage with for some quirky or unexpected reason.

Kinda scary to think people are approaching dating with an attitude of if there's one thing wrong, I'm swiping left. Much more likely to remain single with this attitude.

And yes, I'm partly talking to myself here.

pickarooney

Vlad Kelly wrote: »

I don't like the intentionally obnoxious masquerading as quirky personality type vibe, so those kind of comments usually put me off. Also I only date within my own race and I don't date single mothers. That aside I'm pretty easygoing.

Ah yeah, apart from the old racism I'm sound as ****.

cantdecide

SimpleDimples wrote: »

Really? - i'm size 10 but curvy, hourglass figure and no way of getting rid of the curves. Do people really just assume curvy means fat? :-(

It can be a euphemism so you need to be careful how you use the word in online dating even if it's strictly true but at the same time, men are generally more tolerant/ enthusiastic about fuller figures than we're given credit for.... I love a soft lady belly... I've said too much

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

Tell me how wrote: »

What this thread is telling me is lots of us are rushing to judgement over insignificant things. (Don't tell me someone wearing a rugby shirt is categorical proof that that defines their character). Too many reasons to shout next or block (why do you need to block???, are you being stalked by someone on a horse) instead of trying to find someone you maybe engage with for some quirky or unexpected reason.

Kinda scary to think people are approaching dating with an attitude of if there's one thing wrong, I'm swiping left. Much more likely to remain single with this attitude.

And yes, I'm partly talking to myself here.

Yes but you can’t match with everyone. There are so many women on the the thing and potential matches you’re able to discern from whatever you want. Rugby jerseys on women aren’t exactly a good look in my opinion, and all that goys drinking heino and getting enthused over the only 10 teams that can play the sport annoys me. Same way people have bad associations with football, but I’ll go to any game or watch league of Ireland on a Friday night.
There are 1000s of women my age in Dublin that are single, you may as well skip on things that may even slightly bug you.

Tell me how

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote:

Yes but you can’t match with everyone. There are so many women on the the thing and potential matches you’re able to discern from whatever you want. Rugby jerseys on women aren’t exactly a good look in my opinion, and all that goys drinking heino and getting enthused over the only 10 teams that can play the sport annoys me. Same way people have bad associations with football, but I’ll go to any game or watch league of Ireland on a Friday night. There are 1000s of women my age in Dublin that are single, you may as well skip on things that may even slightly bug you.

My mother is in to poetry and theatre, my auld fella, farming, the bog and sport. They never engage in each others interests but, thankfully, have been very happily married 40 years. And not just in "sharing a house together" but genuinely being right for each other.

Luck was a massive part of this but if it was today's culture, they likely would never have dated.

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

Tell me how wrote: »

My mother is in to poetry and theatre, my auld fella, farming, the bog and sport. They never engage in each others interests but, thankfully, have been very happily married 40 years. And not just in "sharing a house together" but genuinely being right for each other.

Luck was a massive part of this but if it was today's culture, they likely would never have dated.

No but they’d probably meet someone else and have a good relationship with them too, possibly with more shared interests. I certainly don’t envy the dating scene of 1960s Ireland!

Wibbs

SimpleDimples wrote: »

Really? - i'm size 10 but curvy, hourglass figure and no way of getting rid of the curves. Do people really just assume curvy means fat? :-(

I'd say the problem is people vary so much on what constitutes skinny or curvy or fat to them. And people have been getting larger anyway so the point at which curvy hits has moved somewhat upward. Like Grayson said some will put down curvy and be a healthy weight while others won't be. And in a lot of cases I genuinely think they're not trying to misrepresent or hide anything.

pickarooney wrote: »

Ah yeah, apart from the old racism I'm sound as ****.

I wouldn't automatically class that as racism P. It can just be a preference. My own preferences would exclude non European women. It's not a hard and fast rule of course and it doesn't mean I wouldn't be open to that, it's just I've never met an Asian or African woman I was personally attracted to. I have met beautiful Asian and African women, but for me it's an objective beauty if you know what I mean?

Heres Johnny

Flying through Tinder saying yes to absolutely every girl on it not even really paying attention then saying yes to your cousin can be a bit of a shock for a second.
The relief when you realise that women actually look at who they say yes to and it's not a match is a great feeling.
Has anyone said yes to a sister I wonder?
Luckily I don't have one!

Tell me how

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote:

No but they’d probably meet someone else and have a good relationship with them too, possibly with more shared interests. I certainly don’t envy the dating scene of 1960s Ireland!

Maybe, but relationships from that era probably lasted longer in the sense that they were more tolerant of compromise.

I'm not suggesting people shouldn't try to find their ideal partner but I think there's a tendency now to not tolerate any feature you dislike because the absolute perfect partner is out there. Which, I believe is false.

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

Tell me how wrote: »

Maybe, but relationships from that era probably lasted longer in the sense that they were more tolerant of compromise.

I'm not suggesting people shouldn't try to find their ideal partner but I think there's a tendency now to not tolerate any feature you dislike because the absolute perfect partner is out there. Which, I believe is false.

I know what you mean. On the other hand though it led to miserable couples staying together for decades.

Tell me how

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote:

I know what you mean. On the other hand though it led to miserable couples staying together for decades.

Yeah, that's probably true as well.
Still happens today, there's definitely people who'd sooner be in an unfulfilling relationship than being in their own.

And maybe they are as well off...
Is 70% of fulfillment better than 0% but the hope of finding 100%?

SimpleDimples

SimpleDimples wrote: »

Really? - i'm size 10 but curvy, hourglass figure and no way of getting rid of the curves. Do people really just assume curvy means fat? :-(

It's quite a well-known euphemism for being overweight. Right up there with "bubbly".

pickarooney

Wibbs wrote: »

I'd say the problem is people vary so much on what constitutes skinny or curvy or fat to them. And people have been getting larger anyway so the point at which curvy hits has moved somewhat upward. Like Grayson said some will put down curvy and be a healthy weight while others won't be. And in a lot of cases I genuinely think they're not trying to misrepresent or hide anything.

I wouldn't automatically class that as racism P. It can just be a preference. My own preferences would exclude non European women. It's not a hard and fast rule of course and it doesn't mean I wouldn't be open to that, it's just I've never met an Asian or African woman I was personally attracted to. I have met beautiful Asian and African women, but for me it's an objective beauty if you know what I mean?

Those are two different things. Never having met someone of X category who you were attracted to and refusing to entertain the idea.

I get that some people have extremely narrow tastes (like, there's not one woman in three billion you're attracted to... OK) but closing yourself off completely to the idea just doesn't make one come across as a decent person.

Then again, I kind of refuse to date men so maybe I'm a hypocrite!

notsoyoungwan

Brae100 wrote: »

Someone posted earlier that their turn off was if if a man had children. I've seen this sentiment expressed by a few women on POF and am intrigued by it for a couple of reasons. I don't think men state in their profile that they wouldn't date a woman with kids (very much open to correction here as I am not familiar with other men's profiles). But as a lone male parent I was surprised to see this requitement in some women's profiles. In my experience, most women are actually very positive about a man who has kids and is proven in that area.

Sorry now if it seems I’m picking on your posts as this is my second reply to this post of yours, but your last sentence is interesting - what do you mean “...a man who has kids and is proven in that area”?

Really the only positive thing I can think of that fathering a child proves is that a man is potent and fertile (and if we want to be pedantic it doesn’t even prove that, as the kid could have been conceived by artificial/assisted means!)
Having kids doesn’t prove he is a good father, is providing for them, actively involved in their upbringing, supporting them, parenting them etc. it doesn’t prove he has good character or judgement.

It obviously doesn’t disprove these things either, that’s not what I’m saying. I just think seeing on a profile that a guy has kids would not seem to me to be proof of anything positive.

There are plenty men who will talk about their kids but actually in reality do very little for them or with them. I’m not trying to start a gender/fathers rights argument here, there are 3 sides to every story, all I’m saying is that I wouldn’t assume that simply having kids is a good indication of a decent character.


Again, sorry if it seems I’m nitpicking your post, that’s not my intention! That last sentence just got me thinking, is all.

pickarooney

A man who has kids and has no involvement in their lives would essentially be the same as a man who was no kids from the point of view of having to play second fiddle and dealing with exes.

But that might not be a ringing endorsement in any other way.

Irish_rat

Is it just me or do 90% of the women on POF proclaim to be mad adventurers?

Like as if they go hiking up the nearest mountain after work and go on holidays to Spain every weekend?

I met a really nice woman on ok cupid recently and were are still friends and chat regularly. I just find profiles on POF to be very generic, thoughts?

claireod

ya as a girl, I'm disappointed in the amount of girl who don't pay for their food on the show first dates (and life in general)

claireod

claireod wrote: »

ya as a girl, I'm disappointed in the amount of girl who don't pay for their food on the show first dates (and life in general)

"A la carte feminism" would be an appropriate way of putting it lol.
"Let's just keep the guy paying bit cos that's nice".
If a guy was on say 4 dinner dates in a month, 60 euro a head if it was a decent place with drinks and tip that's 500 squid.

beefburrito

Im very cynical about dating, as you'll rarely see an attractive woman online who'll date a guy with an average job, even he looked like

Most think they're on parr with celeb status, or too cool for school even if he looked like Antonio Borges he wouldn't get a look in.

Irish women in online dating are very superficial and shallow in general, while their continental or UK counterparts are less shallow and more into what a guy is about rather than what he has, or how his life can enhance hers.

I could date an English lady or Italian, and status or financial potential wouldn't come into it.

I might come across as cynical or dare I say it resentful, but take it what way you like....

Maybe 40% of Irish women on dating sites are nice genuine people the rest are full ****, and I'm not sorry for saying that.

Most guy's on dating sites are wanker so Im told and I believe it, they get into the third response and start the dirty talk.

90% of men are pricks and 60% of women are well I won't say any more....

Who's side am I on, well make up your own minds

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

I don’t know Mr Burrito, I lived in London for years and couldn’t get a date to save my life. In Dublin it’s easy. I don’t think you can generalise to that extent.

Collie D

I just read this thread and had a quick look on Tinder and first profile that came up was a girl sitting on the jacks with a glass of wine in hand.

No idea what to make of that, presumably an effort at humour which kind of has me interested but then I think I really don't want to see you on a toilet

Collie D

Oh, and teachers. Nothing against them in general but I'd probably resent having to take holidays at specific times of year

myshirt

Collie D wrote: »

I just read this thread and had a quick look on Tinder and first profile that came up was a girl sitting on the jacks with a glass of wine in hand.

No idea what to make of that, presumably an effort at humour which kind of has me interested but then I think I really don't want to see you on a toilet

That's a woman in a rush.

Count yourself lucky. 6 months down the line that same woman will have stunk out the jacks and you will be wondering how your life ever came to this.

Dial Hard

beefburrito wrote:

Maybe 40% of Irish women on dating sites are nice genuine people the rest are full ****, and I'm not sorry for saying that.

You ve made your feelings on Irish women abundantly clear in plenty of other threads, BB, can we not just leave it there considering you don't even date anymore?

I'm genuinely not having a go, I'm just not sure what an avowed MGTOW-er is really going to add to this thread other than "All Irish women (sorry, 60%) are stuck-up bitches" when thankfully, amazingly, we've largely steered clear of that rhetoric so far.

colm_mcm

claireod wrote: »

ya as a girl, I'm disappointed in the amount of girl who don't pay for their food on the show first dates (and life in general)

You can be sure that if the guy suggested splitting the bill, he’d be all over joe.ie or her.ie or whatever for being stingey.

Mint Sauce

When you have one profile pic, and it's of you and your mates. How do I know which one you are?

Your profile says, 'Why match, and no chat', and yet you don't respond to an opening message.

Finally, on POF, and under the heading, do you have kids, your response is, prefer not to say. Just say you have kids.

suicide_circus

Stop your dating and your swiping left and just go out, find a woman that makes you stiff and dosnt bore you to tears and marry the fook out of her. "Hey you! You smell alright, fancy a lifetime of putting up with my sh*t? Yeah? Grand."