What are your no-no's with dating?

_Dara_

_Dara_ wrote: »

I don't recognise this at all. Where do you live?

TBH, He could be describing anywhere in the Midlands. I noticed the same when I returned to Ireland last year. There has been a definite shift in what is considered average compared to what used to be considered overweight. Irish people always seemed to have a bit of weight to them, but it was a natural weight. It seems to me that there are a lot more people who have slipped well past that scale.

As for obese, I think he's going a bit far there, but there definitely are a lot more signs of it than before.

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

Street pick ups. Jesus you guys are odd.

Whereas I find being introduced to women through friends to be particularly odd. This whole blind date thingy. Ugh.

And TBH, I can't see how a street pickup would be considered odder than online dating.

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

Deleted User wrote: »

Whereas I find being introduced to women through friends to be particularly odd. This whole blind date thingy. Ugh.

And TBH, I can't see how a street pickup would be considered odder than online dating.

It’s just odd language. Like you’re kerb crawling!

Obsessive

Deleted User wrote: »

Whereas I find being introduced to women through friends to be particularly odd. This whole blind date thingy. Ugh.

And TBH, I can't see how a street pickup would be considered odder than online dating.

I'm am considered the oddball in my social group because I go out alone with the intention of meeting women, even though I've had far more success this way. The absolute worst way to meet women is to go out with a big bunch of lads.

Have to say though I've never done day pick up, only night.

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

It’s just odd language. Like you’re kerb crawling!

You see, I've never understood this mentality. You don't do street pickups yourself. Ok. No worries. You find it odd. Sure, I can accept that. But why seek to lower it to make it sound like something dodgy?

It's a very common practice in other countries... I learned to do it in Italy where it's positively encouraged by the women themselves, and have found many cultures where it's normal. Kerb crawling is too much like stalking.

Obsessive

Obsessive wrote: »

I'm am considered the oddball in my social group because I go out alone with the intention of meeting women, even though I've had far more success this way. The absolute worst way to meet women is to go out with a big bunch of lads.

Have to say though I've never done day pick up, only night.

Night pickups, no. Wrong environment. With day pickups, remove the expectations for anything romantic/intimate, and then it's simply meeting someone you're interested in knowing. Anything after that is a bonus.

Tournament

Deleted User wrote: »

You see, I've never understood this mentality. You don't do street pickups yourself. Ok. No worries. You find it odd. Sure, I can accept that. But why seek to lower it to make it sound like something dodgy?

Answer: jealousy.

It's funny when you think about Irish people. The 'correct' thing to do is to get wasted drunk and then approach a girl.

Talk to the girl sitting beside you at a cafe and suddenly you're a weirdo.

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

Tournament wrote: »

Answer: jealousy.

It's funny when you think about Irish people. The 'correct' thing to do is to get wasted drunk and then approach a girl.

Talk to the girl sitting beside you at a cafe and suddenly you're a weirdo.

Lol yeah I’m jealous of someone who annoys people all the time trying to mind their own business. Getting drunk and approaching girls isn’t the only way to meet women in Ireland you know. Expand your social circle maybe.

Whispered

Oh so glad I'm married. Online dating and dating in general now sounds terrifying.

Tournament

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

Lol yeah I’m jealous of someone who annoys people all the time trying to mind their own business.

No your're jealous of men who have the stones to talk to women without downing five shots of whiskey first.

Whispered

Whispered wrote: »

Oh so glad I'm married. Online dating and dating in general now sounds terrifying.

It's really not It can be fun and exciting.

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

Tournament wrote: »

No your're jealous of men who have the stones to talk to women without downing five shots of whiskey first.

How do you know what I do or don’t do?

beefburrito

JoseJones wrote: »

You're a dope

Sent you a pm there, you're quite welcome to get personal with me through mail if you think I'm a dope...

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

Deleted User wrote: »

It's really not It can be fun and exciting.

I agree.

irishman86

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

Lol yeah I’m jealous of someone who annoys people all the time trying to mind their own business. Getting drunk and approaching girls isn’t the only way to meet women in Ireland you know. Expand your social circle maybe.

You do sound a bit jealous buddy
How is anyone annoying anyone
Getting drunk and approaching girls is 99% of the dating scene in Ireland hence why some dont like it

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

irishman86 wrote: »

You do sound a bit jealous buddy
How is anyone annoying anyone
Getting drunk and approaching girls is 99% of the dating scene in Ireland hence why some dont like it

So online dating only accounts for 1% of the dating scene in Ireland? I think it’d be a lot closer to 99% tbh.

irishman86

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

So online dating only accounts for 1% of the dating scene in Ireland? I think it’d be a lot closer to 99% tbh.

I would say yes its defo closer to 1% than 99%
Im actually shocked that you believe that

beefburrito

Anybody up for a date???

Man or woman I don't care lol

Whispered

Whispered wrote: »

Oh so glad I'm married. Online dating and dating in general now sounds terrifying.

It's not that bad. The media and discussions on boards paints it to be far worse than it actually is. TBH with the influx of foreigners many of the attitudes that turned me off dating in Ireland have been pushed into the background. There's far less of the traditional drink culture, and far more interest in cafes/restaurant for dates which suits me.

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

irishman86 wrote: »

I would say yes its defo closer to 1% than 99%
Im actually shocked that you believe that

Everyone I know who has been single in the last few years, OD was their main avenue for meeting members of opposite sex, or same sex mind! I’m in my late 30s though, so maybe it’s dofferent for younger folk who go to Coppers etc.

Richard Hillman

Not that I necessarily disagree with their cause but a Black Repeal jumper just screams very agro, loves an argument and probable mental health issues.

Whispered

Deleted User wrote: »

It's really not It can be fun and exciting.

I reckon I would hate it - I'm way too casual looking to be putting my pics up on a dating site, have a child, can't dance, hate anything which involves repetitive music or shouting to have a conversation, would describe myself as curvy which seems to be a no-no even when you're a size 10, don't travel much, or aspire to and really just want a quiet and comfy life.
Compared to beautiful, tall, glam ladies who enjoy going out dancing, wearing heels and sexy clothes, travel the world and have impressive jobs! I'd be forever single. It might be fun and exciting but I wouldn't be cut out for it at all at all.
Mr W knows this and uses it to his advantage to keep me around :pac:

I actually was popping in to say "someone on their phone on a date would put me right off" but there is a totally different conversation going on to what I imagined. I'm surprised that online dating is so common now, it seems to be the norm really. Not that it's a bad thing, but when I was younger, and I'm only early 30's now, online dating was considered seedy or sad. It makes sense that it has evolved to be the norm though.

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

Whispered wrote: »

I reckon I would hate it - I'm way too casual looking to be putting my pics up on a dating site, have a child, can't dance, hate anything which involves repetitive music or shouting to have a conversation, would describe myself as curvy which seems to be a no-no even when you're a size 10, don't travel much, or aspire to and really just want a quiet and comfy life.
Compared to beautiful, tall, glam ladies who enjoy going out dancing, wearing heels and sexy clothes, travel the world and have impressive jobs! I'd be forever single. It might be fun and exciting but I wouldn't be cut out for it at all at all.
Mr W knows this and uses it to his advantage to keep me around :pac:

Yes but for every tall sexy glam lady there’s a short fat girl too. And everything in between! All kinds of people are using OD.

beefburrito

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

Yes but for every tall sexy glam lady there’s a short fat girl too. And everything in between! All kinds of people are using OD.

What's OD ?

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

Lol yeah I’m jealous of someone who annoys people all the time trying to mind their own business. Getting drunk and approaching girls isn’t the only way to meet women in Ireland you know. Expand your social circle maybe.

If that comment includes me, let's just say that your image of approaching women is a far cry different from the reality. I'm not a 18 year old virgin out to scratch an itch.... Not sure how getting drunk factors in since that's more of the pub/club scene than approaching women outside or in a cafe. The fact is that drinking impairs your ability to recognize a woman's interest or lack of interest, so it has no place with my style of approaching women.

I've been a bachelor for most of my adult life, and I've been approaching women in all manner of environments without any of the negative issues that posters here often throw up in objection to the practice. I find it interesting that the people who don't do approaches know all the ways to do so, and are so sure of the reactions. Just the way things are on boards, I guess. Everyone is an expert.

Tournament

Richard Hillman wrote: »

Not that I necessarily disagree with their cause but a Black Repeal jumper just screams very agro, loves an argument and probable mental health issues.

I find it hilarious when they use that fascist looking white lightening on black background symbol when they are all leftists.

Are they promoting abortion or a Ukrainian ultra nationalist militia?

irishman86

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

Everyone I know who has been single in the last few years, OD was their main avenue for meeting members of opposite sex, or same sex mind! I’m in my late 30s though, so maybe it’s dofferent for younger folk who go to Coppers etc.

It definitely is still about the drink. As im not late 30s only early 30s ill take your word for it. But everyone i know its still all about drink
I would be very surprised if its any different for 60 year olds never mind late 30s

beefburrito

irishman86 wrote: »

It definitely is still about the drink. As im not late 30s only early 30s ill take your word for it. But everyone i know its still all about drink
I would be very surprised if its any different for 60 year olds never mind late 30s

Check out Lisdoonvarna in September, it's an eye opener...

Or leg opener...and everything else inbetween...
Stunning Cougar's out to grab a young man, aul lads buying young ladies drink all night, a drink for a jive is all the go, jive as in dancing....

Icemancometh

beefburrito wrote: »

Richard Hillman wrote: »

Not that I necessarily disagree with their cause but a Black Repeal jumper just screams very agro, loves an argument and probable mental health issues.

More than likely a closet bull dyke to boot

Charming.

beefburrito

Icemancometh wrote: »

Charming.

I know it's awful, I have come across this quite a bit.
It's not really charming to be honest, these tough looking ladettes looking for fights and scraps etc is not one bit charming.

More like alarming, and it's getting worse....

Wait for the next wave of their sort....

seachto7

beefburrito wrote: »

Check out Lisdoonvarna in September, it's an eye opener...

Or leg opener...and everything else inbetween...
Stunning Cougar's out to grab a young man, aul lads buying young ladies drink all night, a drink for a jive is all the go, jive as in dancing....

Please..... :rolleyes:

beefburrito

seachto7 wrote: »

Please..... :rolleyes:

Next time you're going bodyboarding in fanore, stop off on the way back...
Remember I told you out back in the line up and you were in knots laughing at the stories I was telling you about Lisdoonvarna

Im serious

irishman86

beefburrito wrote: »

Check out Lisdoonvarna in September, it's an eye opener...

Or leg opener...and everything else inbetween...
Stunning Cougar's out to grab a young man, aul lads buying young ladies drink all night, a drink for a jive is all the go, jive as in dancing....

But thats all about drinking

irishman86

irishman86 wrote: »

It definitely is still about the drink. As im not late 30s only early 30s ill take your word for it. But everyone i know its still all about drink
I would be very surprised if its any different for 60 year olds never mind late 30s

Well, it really comes down to who you're meeting and their own priorities. I've been doing a bit of dating around my county at the moment, and they've been happy to meet for dinner or coffee rather than going to the bar. Then again, they've all been Irish women who have lived abroad for an extended period of time, or foreigners. Any local women I've met have wanted to go to the pub... but I see little point in that. I am in my 40s and tend to date women around a decade younger than me.

The drinking culture doesn't seem to be as strong as when I was growing up. Sure, students are still going nuts on certain nights out with house parties or on the weekends off to the crappy nightclubs nearby, but the pubs are mostly empty of people at night. Everyone I've spoken to about this has confirmed that the bar scene for dating is dead, and that's why online dating has taken off so much.

frozenfrozen

Boards is good for online dating

bodice ripper

Richard Hillman wrote:

Not that I necessarily disagree with their cause but a Black Repeal jumper just screams very agro, loves an argument and probable mental health issues.

beefburrito wrote:

More than likely a closet bull dyke to boot

It is to be devoutly wished.

beefburrito

irishman86 wrote: »

But thats all about drinking

I know but it's a matchmaking festival, it's something similar to dating..

Or am I wrong

irishman86

Deleted User wrote: »

Well, it really comes down to who you're meeting and their own priorities. I've been doing a bit of dating around my county at the moment, and they've been happy to meet for dinner or coffee rather than going to the bar. Then again, they've all been Irish women who have lived abroad for an extended period of time, or foreigners. Any local women I've met have wanted to go to the pub... but I see little point in that. I am in my 40s and tend to date women around a decade younger than me.

The drinking culture doesn't seem to be as strong as when I was growing up. Sure, students are still going nuts on certain nights out with house parties or on the weekends off to the crappy nightclubs nearby, but the pubs are mostly empty of people at night. Everyone I've spoken to about this has confirmed that the bar scene for dating is dead, and that's why online dating has taken off so much.

I agree each to there own and all that, and yes i think its getting better but still a long way off saying 1% meet in bars 99% online
Irish people who live abroad are usually different tbh having gone through a foreign dating scene they will off course be up for it more readily
You say the bar scene is dead for dating, id nearly agree with you on that its clubs that Irish people usually hook up in. I dont think there is much a dating scene in Ireland
*Havent lived in Dublin, it could easily have one
Online dating still has a lot of stigma hence the "We could say we met in coppers"

irishman86

The Frenchman wrote: »

My student days were the absolute worst in the terms of my dating success. At lot of these 'mad student' nights end in quasi rape situations.

I'm 30 now, more mature and having far greater success.

I would be the same, look back and see all the times i should have done something but didnt clue in at all
Was far to shy

irishman86

beefburrito wrote: »

I know but it's a matchmaking festival, it's something similar to dating..

Or am I wrong

You arent, i dont get your point however
I dont have anything against lisdoonvarna or anything similar
I have a few Egyptian friends who met there spouses at something similar in Sydney

The Princess Bride

Heres Johnny wrote: »

Question for the ladies that have an online dating profile, how many messages a day do you get and what prompts you to delete them or reply?
Good banter, attractiveness etc......

Number of messages depends on whether you're the new kid on the block or there a while.
Can be anything from a few to >10 daily.
Depends on site too.
And the woman I'd say.
Quality over quantity surely, no?

I'm a sucker for a well written, witty profile, preferably by someone who's/whose comfortable with their/they're/there* apostrophes.;)

I'm not into messages with txt spk, lols, huns and xxxs.
And if you need to post naked pics, don't message me.
I genuinely hope that if he says he's a man, that he knows that he doesn't need to post cock pics to prove it.
I don't mind tattoos and you don't have to be >1.9m tall to date me

I've had a fair few blind dates and had great craic.
Someone could be drop dead gorgeous but have the personality of a gnat.
If you can't laugh what's it all about?

*if you don't know the difference, please swiftly swipe left.

Donald Trump

Donald Trump wrote: »

Ah, I see where you're going wrong

Just stop trying to date hippos

"Why do you like riding hippos?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8C7ZTbsF-E

Owryan

Deleted User wrote: »

"Why do you like riding hippos?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8C7ZTbsF-E

Sad and scary that there is a wee child caught in the middle

irishman86

irishman86 wrote: »

I agree each to there own and all that, and yes i think its getting better but still a long way off saying 1% meet in bars 99% online
Irish people who live abroad are usually different tbh having gone through a foreign dating scene they will off course be up for it more readily
You say the bar scene is dead for dating, id nearly agree with you on that its clubs that Irish people usually hook up in. I dont think there is much a dating scene in Ireland
*Havent lived in Dublin, it could easily have one
Online dating still has a lot of stigma hence the "We could say we met in coppers"

Its funny really because i would imagine alot more sustainable marriages and relationships have been formed through online dating in comparison to the nightlcub scene and that is not to say people dont meet their long term partner through the club scene but other than one lady, i have never developed a relationship from it.

Social media has helped online dating in many respects because people began to just see online dating sites as another social network. The stigma still exists to a certain degree which is ironic.

The Irish in general though are terrible at flirting. Irish women in particular could actually instigate chat and still manage to insult you and make a holy show of themselves. Its a real pity that in this country we cant just strike up a conversation in a supermarket or a public place as they do in other countries.

ginandtonicsky

Any smokers or guys with any element of personal hygiene or weight issues are a no-no. Heavy drinkers also. Instant turn-off.

Also, those prolific online daters who are on the likes of tinder / okcupid for YEARS on end and clearly go on 2 - 3 dates a week almost as if it's a hobby. I'm not an online dater currently but am single and one of the things that puts me off is that you see the same fellas again and again over years and they always try to move towards a date almost robotically within ten minutes of chatting to you and you just know you're one of many they'd be meeting that week. About as romantic as a bullet to the face.

beefburrito

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

Any smokers or guys with any element of personal hygiene or weight issues are a no-no. Heavy drinkers also. Instant turn-off.

Also, those prolific online daters who are on the likes of tinder / okcupid for YEARS on end and clearly go on 2 - 3 dates a week almost as if it's a hobby. I'm not an online dater currently but am single and one of the things that puts me off is that you see the same fellas again and again over years and they always try to move towards a date almost robotically within ten minutes of chatting to you and you just know you're one of many they'd be meeting that week. About as romantic as a bullet to the face.

As romantic as a bullet to the face, love that quote

irishman86

irishman86 wrote: »

I agree each to there own and all that, and yes i think its getting better but still a long way off saying 1% meet in bars 99% online

Yes, but the Bar scene for meeting women is more of a US/UK/Oz/Ireland kind of thing. Sure, other countries are picking up on it but that's more to do with the influence of expats. And again, Nightclubs are more of a thing for the above countries for meeting someone, and TBF its more about sex than it is for actually meeting someone for a serious relationship.

In my experience, abroad the bar and clubs are more for direct socialising. People who genuinely love the music or dancing (or drugs). Picking up in bars/clubs within Europe is possible, but you're more likely to encounter a prostitute than a real person. Although the "singles" bar scene has really taken off in the last decade, but they're usually confined to the major cities. There's also less of a taboo about dating people from work, or meeting someone randomly in the street/venue. I haven't found this fear of offending/annoying someone regarding random encounters that posters here raise so often for reasons against such approaches.

*Havent lived in Dublin, it could easily have one
Online dating still has a lot of stigma hence the "We could say we met in coppers"

I lived in Dublin about two decades ago, so I'm assuming it's changed quite a bit since then. Still, I have 'gone out' in Dublin with friends and a few ex's since I returned to Ireland and I wasn't terribly impressed.

I only have two major issues with Online Dating. First with how fake/superficial it is. The majority of photos don't reflect the real person, and when they do, they're rarely very flattering. The chatting is generally very basic with little attempt at making any real connection, and while in the past, I didn't mind sleeping with married women, Ireland is just too small for that kind of behavior. In Xi'an (China) with 9 million people in the city area, it was fine, but Ireland, nooo. And a lot of the profiles I've encountered in my age bracket were women in relationships looking for some 'extra' fun. So, Online dating within Ireland hasn't given me much in the way of suitable women to date.

neonsofa

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

Any smokers or guys with any element of personal hygiene or weight issues are a no-no. Heavy drinkers also. Instant turn-off.

Also, those prolific online daters who are on the likes of tinder / okcupid for YEARS on end and clearly go on 2 - 3 dates a week almost as if it's a hobby. I'm not an online dater currently but am single and one of the things that puts me off is that you see the same fellas again and again over years and they always try to move towards a date almost robotically within ten minutes of chatting to you and you just know you're one of many they'd be meeting that week. About as romantic as a bullet to the face.

If you're seeing them online again and again over the years then does that not mean you too are on the same sites for years on end?

ginandtonicsky

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

Any smokers or guys with any element of personal hygiene or weight issues are a no-no. Heavy drinkers also. Instant turn-off.

Also, those prolific online daters who are on the likes of tinder / okcupid for YEARS on end and clearly go on 2 - 3 dates a week almost as if it's a hobby. I'm not an online dater currently but am single and one of the things that puts me off is that you see the same fellas again and again over years and they always try to move towards a date almost robotically within ten minutes of chatting to you and you just know you're one of many they'd be meeting that week. About as romantic as a bullet to the face.

Maybe your expectations are too high and that is probably an issue with Irish people in general? Dating should be a bit of fun really but instead its turned into this quest to actually find a life partner. Why not just focus on the short term which is having a good time in company instead of the long term?

annascott

Bad table manners and double negatives.