What are your no-no's with dating?

Grayson

beefburrito wrote: »

Lol I like the response...

I'm intrigued by Tina Robinson look alikes especially covered in ink...

But she wouldn't like the kitch en sync

Swipe left.....

fatknacker

fatknacker wrote: »

Yeah I used to feel paranoid about using online dating for so long. Then I realised "fuk it" if I'm still on here. Nothing wrong with being picky and having standards. I tried being less picky and it didn't work out. Several times. So if there are some dopes who see my head on there for a while (even though they are too...) then I'm not going to get put off by their comments.
.

Most of my friends consider me to have high standards, or rather 'unrealistic' standards. I've always believed it's best to be with someone you're crazy about than simply treading water. I don't mean just standards about their physical appearance but also the personalities I know that suit me best.

The funny thing is that most of those people who said I have such high standards, went into serious relationships, got married and had kids... and they're all, for the most part, divorced/separated or incredibly unhappy in their situations.

There is such pressure on us to conform to a certain type of lifestyle. i.e. that remaining single is somehow a terrible state and we should all be rushing madly into relationships or marriage. However, I've noticed that such relationships often don't suit the person, and they'd probably be much happier single.

So, I say, go with what feels right for you, and throw in some practical considerations too. Take your time in finding someone, and if you don't, well... just enjoy your life.

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

Deleted User wrote: »

The funny thing is that most of those people who said I have such high standards, went into serious relationships, got married and had kids... and they're all, for the most part, divorced/separated or incredibly unhappy in their situations.

Ditto for me. You saw it on this thread where someone is trying to tell me how awful I am because I have been single for 3 years. I mean wtf is wrong with me right?!?!

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

Ditto for me. You saw it on this thread where someone is trying to tell me how awful I am because I have been single for 3 years. I mean wtf is wrong with me right?!?!

Dude, I've been there. I still am. I'm 41 years old and a bachelor. I have zero interest in marriage or kids. Oh, I haven't removed it as an option but it's never been a particular interest. Different strokes for different folks.

My family which are rather traditional have only recently stopped pestering me about marriage and kids. When I lived in China, every time I returned home for a holiday, my mother would have set up a dozen blind dates with women I had absolutely no interest in. She didn't (and still doesn't) understand that I don't find the vast majority of Irish women attractive (the cultural attitudes and body types). And I've received a lot of criticism from Irish people when they quiz my preferences... But then I've found that women are allowed to be picky but men shouldn't be. We're supposed to love all those curves... Ugh.

Edit: I've also been called a race-traitor because I was engaged to a Japanese woman, and generally prefer Asian women to Western women. Oddly enough (not really), men tend to understand this difference in preference, but many women find it somehow offensive. And yet, these same women had experiences with black men and considered it perfectly acceptable. The double standards people have about dating/relationships is just bizarre sometimes.

Danzy

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

If they have a cock, or once had a cock.

Yet you'll hope they have one soon enough.

Carlos Orange

Deleted User wrote: »

Edit: I've also been called a race-traitor because I was engaged to a Japanese woman, and generally prefer Asian women to Western women. Oddly enough (not really), men tend to understand this difference in preference, but many women find it somehow offensive. And yet, these same women had experiences with black men and considered it perfectly acceptable. The double standards people have about dating/relationships is just bizarre sometimes.

I find that kinda surprising. I would have expected you to be called a misogynist for preferring Asian women.

psinno

psinno wrote: »

I find that kinda surprising. I would have expected you to be called a misogynist for preferring Asian women.

I find that the only people who know/use the word misogynist tend to be on boards or social media.

Anyway, how would I be a misogynist by preferring, say, Japanese women to Irish women? It doesn't mean that I hate or despise Irish women... Just that I don't find most of them attractive. It's like saying that if you don't like women with red hair, then you're a misogynist...

Carlos Orange

Deleted User wrote: »

I find that the only people who know/use the word misogynist tend to be on boards or social media.

Anyway, how would I be a misogynist by preferring, say, Japanese women to Irish women? It doesn't mean that I hate or despise Irish women... Just that I don't find most of them attractive. It's like saying that if you don't like women with red hair, then you're a misogynist...

I didn't say I thought you were a misogynist just that I thought it was more likely you would be called a misogynist than a race traitor. Asian women generally are pretty attractive to me. Women from some asian countries anyway.

psinno

psinno wrote: »

I didn't say I thought you were a misogynist just that I thought it was more likely you would be called a misogynist than a race traitor. Asian women generally are pretty attractive to me. Women from some asian countries anyway.

Oh, I didn't think you were calling me a Misogynist. Just wondering at the logic.

Mister Vain

CrankyHaus wrote: »

In addition to the stuff mentioned already
Machu Picchu photos were a no no for me when I was on Tinder. Every girl had them and boasted about their love of travel. As if treading the same steps as countless millions of others made them special. I doubt 1 in 10 could tell you the first thing about the Incas.

Especially when they're so far away in the photo that you can barely see them. I might as well be looking at TripAdvisor.

beefburrito

Mister Vain wrote: »

Especially when they're so far away in the photo that you can barely see them. I might as well be looking at TripAdvisor.

I get matches from New York sometimes...living not far from Shannon Airport all the airline staff are gamey.....

The love a coffee in the foyer and a romp in the ensuite...

They say they don't usually do nsa

Like reallllyyy

whisky_galore

'Shopping' as a hobby.

Duckface profile pics.

Dog ears/nose profile pics...not sure if I should take you out for a nice meal or take you to the park for a sh1t.

'High maintenance' ....would you buy a car that was 'high maintenance '?

Smoking.

Profile pics surrounded with hapes of drink or in a toilet.

beefburrito

whisky_galore wrote: »

'Shopping' as a hobby.

Duckface profile pics.

Dog ears/nose profile pics...not sure if I should take you out for a nice meal or take you to the park for a sh1t.

'High maintenance' ....would you buy a car that was 'high maintenance '?

Smoking.

Profile pics surrounded with hapes of drink or in a toilet.

Lol love it

Tell me how

whisky_galore wrote:

Profile pics surrounded with hapes of drink or in a toilet.

Bit ironic complaining about too much drink with that username.

Jimmy Dags

Someone who is obsessed with Christmas.

Mister Vain

"Non smoker, non drinker" yet their photo shows them with a pint in one hand and a fag in the other.

Jimmy Dags

Jimmy Dags wrote: »

Someone who is obsessed with Christmas.

Most of the zombies unfortunately.

tupenny

Men in a football jersey
Unless they're actually playing, in which case it's a plus

Pics of a group of mates. They're always the least attractive.

And where are they all meeting conor mcGregor? Another left swipe

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

Mister Vain wrote: »

"Non smoker, non drinker" yet their photo shows them with a pint in one hand and a fag in the other.

#sarcasm

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

tupenny wrote: »

Men in a football jersey
Unless they're actually playing, in which case it's a plus

Pics of a group of mates. They're always the least attractive.

And where are they all meeting conor mcGregor? Another left swipe

oic

tupenny

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

oic

Ducy?

PrettyBoy

I come across so many profiles every day of women that have a single non-descript picture of a patch of grass or the sky or just some random image they took off Google. First thing that comes to mind is that they're a paranoid basket case looking to find out if their ex or current boyfriend is using Tinder. Second thing is that it's a nosey cow that likely tells everyone she'd never use dating apps but as soon as she's alone she's on it straight away looking at everyone. It's so prevalent now, not a day goes by where I don't come across at least a few of these nutjobs hiding behind an anonymous profile. Do guys do this too?

irishrebe

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

Deleted User wrote: »

The funny thing is that most of those people who said I have such high standards, went into serious relationships, got married and had kids... and they're all, for the most part, divorced/separated or incredibly unhappy in their situations.

Ditto for me. You saw it on this thread where someone is trying to tell me how awful I am because I have been single for 3 years. I mean wtf is wrong with me right?!?!

Except nobody said that. It's one thing to be single for 3 years, it's another to be actively on a dating app for 3 years looking for a relationship and not find anyone who meets your standards in all that time. But don't let facts get in the way or anything.

irishrebe

Deleted User wrote: »

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

Ditto for me. You saw it on this thread where someone is trying to tell me how awful I am because I have been single for 3 years. I mean wtf is wrong with me right?!?!

Dude, I've been there. I still am. I'm 41 years old and a bachelor. I have zero interest in marriage or kids. Oh, I haven't removed it as an option but it's never been a particular interest. Different strokes for different folks.

My family which are rather traditional have only recently stopped pestering me about marriage and kids. When I lived in China, every time I returned home for a holiday, my mother would have set up a dozen blind dates with women I had absolutely no interest in. She didn't (and still doesn't) understand that I don't find the vast majority of Irish women attractive (the cultural attitudes and body types). And I've received a lot of criticism from Irish people when they quiz my preferences... But then I've found that women are allowed to be picky but men shouldn't be. We're supposed to love all those curves... Ugh.

Edit: I've also been called a race-traitor because I was engaged to a Japanese woman, and generally prefer Asian women to Western women. Oddly enough (not really), men tend to understand this difference in preference, but many women find it somehow offensive. And yet, these same women had experiences with black men and considered it perfectly acceptable. The double standards people have about dating/relationships is just bizarre sometimes.

Only a total racist nutjob would use a term like 'race traitor'. There are plenty of stereotypes and cliches about men who prefer to date Asian women though, and from my time in Asia, I'd say quite a few of them are true in many cases.

irishrebe

irishrebe wrote: »

Only a total racist nutjob would use a term like 'race traitor'. There are plenty of stereotypes and cliches about men who prefer to date Asian women though, and from my time in Asia, I'd say quite a few of them are true in many cases.

You really can't comment about anything without having some kind of dig, can you?

whisky_galore

Tell me how wrote: »

Bit ironic complaining about too much drink with that username.

It's a username, not a lifestyle.

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

irishrebe wrote: »

Except nobody said that. It's one thing to be single for 3 years, it's another to be actively on a dating app for 3 years looking for a relationship and not find anyone who meets your standards in all that time. But don't let facts get in the way or anything.

Did I say what I was looking for? Jesus you sound so bitter. Not having much luck yourself? I do recall you posting something in relationship issues now that I think of it...

Triceratops Ballet

PrettyBoy wrote: »

I come across so many profiles every day of women that have a single non-descript picture of a patch of grass or the sky or just some random image they took off Google. First thing that comes to mind is that they're a paranoid basket case looking to find out if their ex or current boyfriend is using Tinder. Second thing is that it's a nosey cow that likely tells everyone she'd never use dating apps but as soon as she's alone she's on it straight away looking at everyone. It's so prevalent now, not a day goes by where I don't come across at least a few of these nutjobs hiding behind an anonymous profile. Do guys do this too?

Yuuuuup, the grass the sky, a meme, a cartoon character, I always think they're the guys who are like "women are so superficial, if they don't like my profile without a photo then who wants to date someone that stuck up" meanwhile they get to judge everyone without being judged or fear of rejection. IMO if you have a non photo as a photo your bio would want to be f-ing tremendous to expect to get any level of response.

Grayson

Triceratops Ballet wrote: »

Yuuuuup, the grass the sky, a meme, a cartoon character, I always think they're the guys who are like "women are so superficial, if they don't like my profile without a photo then who wants to date someone that stuck up" meanwhile they get to judge everyone without being judged or fear of rejection. IMO if you have a non photo as a photo your bio would want to be f-ing tremendous to expect to get any level of response.

I sometimes think it's someone who wants to see what's on the site/app but doesn't want to participate. Maybe they're already in a relationship. They don't want a match, they just like the idea of swiping.
Or maybe they're checking it out before they dive in. See if the people on the app are the kind of people they'd want to date.

Eitherway I'm swiping left.

Katgurl

irishrebe wrote: »

Except nobody said that. It's one thing to be single for 3 years, it's another to be actively on a dating app for 3 years looking for a relationship and not find anyone who meets your standards in all that time. But don't let facts get in the way or anything.

No it isn't. I didn't want to go out with someone I found acceptable as apposed to great. It took a while but so what?

Why should she settle?

givyjoe

Katgurl wrote: »

No it isn't. I didn't want to go out with someone I found acceptable as apposed to great. It took a while but so what?

Why should she settle?

That poster is really starting to sound a lot like someone with a lot of pent up frustration.. :pac::pac:

Katgurl

givyjoe wrote: »

That poster is really starting to sound a lot like someone with a lot of pent up frustration.. :pac::pac:

I'm a bit confused. Me? This is my first post on this thread.

Anyway to get back to the OP, I would absolutely not have anything to do with guys who put up topless photos. Even if they were in great shape, it just came across so vain and needy.

When it comes to actually being on the date, any man who could not be discreet about checking out other women was an absolute no-no. Obviously an attractive person draws your eye but there is no excuse for leering.

Triceratops Ballet

Katgurl wrote: »

Anyway to get back to the OP, I would absolutely not have anything to do with guys who put up topless photos. Even if they were in great shape, it just came across so vain and needy.

Agreed, it's only ok to be topless on the beach!

irishrebe

Deleted User wrote: »

irishrebe wrote: »

Only a total racist nutjob would use a term like 'race traitor'. There are plenty of stereotypes and cliches about men who prefer to date Asian women though, and from my time in Asia, I'd say quite a few of them are true in many cases.

You really can't comment about anything without having some kind of dig, can you?

Am I not allowed an opinion? You don't think a lot of the women who commented on that to you were thinking the same?

irishrebe

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

irishrebe wrote: »

Except nobody said that. It's one thing to be single for 3 years, it's another to be actively on a dating app for 3 years looking for a relationship and not find anyone who meets your standards in all that time. But don't let facts get in the way or anything.

Did I say what I was looking for? Jesus you sound so bitter. Not having much luck yourself? I do recall you posting something in relationship issues now that I think of it...

I'm dating someone, so have not used any app in quite some time now. It probably won't last because I'm emigrating, but I'm not one of those people who sits on Tinder for hours every day, swiping away and looking for something 'better'. I prefer to actually get to know people and build up a relationship. Each to their own.

givyjoe

Katgurl wrote: »

I'm a bit confused. Me? This is my first post on this thread.

Anyway to get back to the OP, I would absolutely not have anything to do with guys who put up topless photos. Even if they were in great shape, it just came across so vain and needy.

When it comes to actually being on the date, any man who could not be discreet about checking out other women was an absolute no-no. Obviously an attractive person draws your eye but there is no excuse for leering.

I didn't mean you, sorry I didn't make that clear!:o

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

irishrebe wrote: »

I'm dating someone, so have not used any app in quite some time now. It probably won't last because I'm emigrating, but I'm not one of those people who sits on Tinder for hours every day, swiping away and looking for something 'better'. I prefer to actually get to know people and build up a relationship. Each to their own.

And that's what I do is it? You like jumping to conclusions don't you? You know nothing about me you mad yoke.

irishrebe

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

irishrebe wrote: »

I'm dating someone, so have not used any app in quite some time now. It probably won't last because I'm emigrating, but I'm not one of those people who sits on Tinder for hours every day, swiping away and looking for something 'better'. I prefer to actually get to know people and build up a relationship. Each to their own.

And that's what I do is it? You like jumping to conclusions don't you? You know nothing about me you mad yoke.

I didn't even mention you. Who is jumping to conclusions now?

pickarooney

irishrebe wrote: »

I'm dating someone, so have not used any app in quite some time now. It probably won't last because I'm emigrating, but I'm not one of those people who sits on Tinder for hours every day, swiping away and looking for something 'better'. I prefer to actually get to know people and build up a relationship. Each to their own.

Jesus Christ, nobody cares! Live and let bloody live.
'Each to their own' she says, while casting judgement on everyone who doesn't think like her...

Vela

steddyeddy wrote: »

Height or weight requirements. I'm not short and I'm in decent shape, but I don't want to date someone who is that shallow.

I don't think it's shallow to specify what you're attracted to. For example, weight isn't a definite deal breaker for me, although I tend to go for well-built guys. But height is a deal breaker for sure. I'm 5'10 and I date guys around my height or taller, but I don't want to date someone who's 2+ inches shorter. That's not being shallow, it's simply what I do and do not find attractive. In the same way that I have a few tattoos and there are men who might not find that attractive.

I don't see the problem with writing that on my profile (even if most guys ignore it) because it stops me wasting their time and vice versa.

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

Vela wrote: »

I don't think it's shallow to specify what you're attracted to. For example, weight isn't a definite deal breaker for me, although I tend to go for well-built guys. But height is a deal breaker for sure. I'm 5'10 and I date guys around my height or taller, but I don't want to date someone who's 2+ inches shorter. That's not being shallow, it's simply what I do and do not find attractive. In the same way that I have a few tattoos and there are men who might not find that attractive.

I don't see the problem with writing that on my profile (even if most guys ignore it) because it stops me wasting their time and vice versa.

Well I'm taller than you, but I wouldn't message you if you specify height. I just don't think there's any need to put it down, it puts me off anyway.

irishrebe

pickarooney wrote: »

irishrebe wrote: »

I'm dating someone, so have not used any app in quite some time now. It probably won't last because I'm emigrating, but I'm not one of those people who sits on Tinder for hours every day, swiping away and looking for something 'better'. I prefer to actually get to know people and build up a relationship. Each to their own.

Jesus Christ, nobody cares! Live and let bloody live.
'Each to their own' she says, while casting judgement on everyone who doesn't think like her...

Yes, God forbid there would be discussion and debate on an INTERNET FORUM on a thread specifically dedicated to things that are red flags to you when dating.

cantdecide

irishrebe wrote: »

because I'm emigrating.

Do they have internet there? Just wonderin'

Triceratops Ballet

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

Well I'm taller than you, but I wouldn't message you if you specify height. I just don't think there's any need to put it down, it puts me off anyway.

If someone doesn't specify it on their profile but filters guys based on height is that different? not having a go, just wondering

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

cantdecide wrote: »

Do they have internet there? Just wonderin'

hopefully not...

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

Triceratops Ballet wrote: »

If someone doesn't specify it on their profile but filters guys based on height is that different? not having a go, just wondering

Well of course it's different, you don't see that they're filtering by height.
I mean we all have our ideals but if I ever see profiles with no this, no that, I instantly skip, there's no need for it and it doesn't come across as friendly.

irishrebe

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

Vela wrote: »

I don't think it's shallow to specify what you're attracted to. For example, weight isn't a definite deal breaker for me, although I tend to go for well-built guys. But height is a deal breaker for sure. I'm 5'10 and I date guys around my height or taller, but I don't want to date someone who's 2+ inches shorter. That's not being shallow, it's simply what I do and do not find attractive. In the same way that I have a few tattoos and there are men who might not find that attractive.

I don't see the problem with writing that on my profile (even if most guys ignore it) because it stops me wasting their time and vice versa.

Well I'm taller than you, but I wouldn't message you if you specify height. I just don't think there's any need to put it down, it puts me off anyway.

See, this is what I don't get. You have a massive laundry list of things you won't accept in a woman, some of them very trivial and petty, yet you find it too demanding/shallow when a woman has a height preference? Why are your preferences valid and acceptable while hers indicate a shallow mind? I genuinely don't understand this. Is it because it's a physical attribute?

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

irishrebe wrote: »

See, this is what I don't get. You have a massive laundry list of things you won't accept in a woman, some of them very trivial and petty, yet you find it too demanding/shallow when a woman has a height preference? Why are your preferences valid and acceptable while hers indicate a shallow mind? I genuinely don't understand this. Is it because it's a physical attribute?

But I don't list all of my requirements on my profile!!! This is a discussion about dating no nos! I'm not going around saying all these things to people, these are private preferences. I am posting anonymously on the internet. You dig?

irishrebe

cantdecide wrote: »

irishrebe wrote: »

because I'm emigrating.

Do they have internet there? Just wonderin'

Yes. Already on quite a few forums there. It's a place where they actually understand debate and discussion. Try it sometime.

PlaneSpeeking

I prefer pale, ginger/blonde guys. Just my type!

I was once told that makes me racist.

I asked if a black woman who refused to date a white person would be similarly racist.

"No, why would she ?".

Short answer - like what you like, date who you want, be happy!