What are your no-no's with dating?

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

irishrebe wrote: »

Yes. Already on quite a few forums there. It's a place where they actually understand debate and discussion. Try it sometime.

Canadians are a friendly bunch, not sure you'll fit in

cantdecide

irishrebe wrote: »

It's a place where they actually understand debate and discussion.

You'll be completely at home so.

Vela

Vela wrote: »

I don't think it's shallow to specify what you're attracted to. For example, weight isn't a definite deal breaker for me, although I tend to go for well-built guys. But height is a deal breaker for sure. I'm 5'10 and I date guys around my height or taller, but I don't want to date someone who's 2+ inches shorter. That's not being shallow, it's simply what I do and do not find attractive. In the same way that I have a few tattoos and there are men who might not find that attractive.

I don't see the problem with writing that on my profile (even if most guys ignore it) because it stops me wasting their time and vice versa.

Oh, I completely agree. Although, as a man, many women also ignore what you have on your profile, perhaps thinking that it doesn't apply to them.

irishrebe

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

irishrebe wrote: »

See, this is what I don't get. You have a massive laundry list of things you won't accept in a woman, some of them very trivial and petty, yet you find it too demanding/shallow when a woman has a height preference? Why are your preferences valid and acceptable while hers indicate a shallow mind? I genuinely don't understand this. Is it because it's a physical attribute?

But I don't list all of my requirements on my profile!!! This is a discussion about dating no nos! I'm not going around saying all these things to people, these are private preferences, yet here I am posting anonymously on the internet. You dig?

But you don't need to list them on your profile because you can see these things yourself on women's profiles. A woman who really doesn't want to date men below a certain height is going to have to say that or end up wasting a lot of people's time. So you don't mind if a woman is 'shallow' enough to have a height preference as long as she isn't bold enough to state it on the profile?

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

irishrebe wrote: »

But you don't need to list them on your profile because you can see these things yourself on women's profiles. A woman who really doesn't want to date men below a certain height is going to have to say that or end up wasting a lot of people's time. So you don't mind if a woman is 'shallow' enough to have a height preference as long as she isn't bold enough to state it on the profile?

who said the word shallow? why are you quoting it?

irishrebe

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

irishrebe wrote: »

Yes. Already on quite a few forums there. It's a place where they actually understand debate and discussion. Try it sometime.

Canadians are a friendly bunch, not sure you'll fit in

Loads of friends there already, thanks, so don't be worrying about me.

irishrebe

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

irishrebe wrote: »

But you don't need to list them on your profile because you can see these things yourself on women's profiles. A woman who really doesn't want to date men below a certain height is going to have to say that or end up wasting a lot of people's time. So you don't mind if a woman is 'shallow' enough to have a height preference as long as she isn't bold enough to state it on the profile?

who said the word shallow? why are you quoting it?

I thought you had used that or a similar word, but I could be mistaken and if so, I apologise. So what is the thinking behind it? Why would you not message a woman with a height requirement listed, even if you met it?

PlaneSpeeking

May I ask ? Why is it shallow to ask about height ?

I'm 5-1, if someone was Stephen Merchant height we'd look bloody silly walking out!

Saying "no ugly or fat people" and you're a d**k yes, but some preferences are okay ?

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

irishrebe wrote: »

I thought you had used that or a similar word, but I could be mistaken and if so, I apologise. So what is the thinking behind it? Why would you not message a woman with a height requirement listed, even if you met it?

I just don't feel the need to list requirements like that, and for some reason it puts me off. But who cares? There are 1000s of singles on these things, so if you don't like something you look at the next one.

givyjoe

irishrebe wrote: »

Yes, God forbid there would be discussion and debate on an INTERNET FORUM on a thread specifically dedicated to things that are red flags to you when dating.

Condescending and judgment of others does not = debate FYI.

Grayson

PlaneSpeeking wrote: »

May I ask ? Why is it shallow to ask about height ?

I'm 5-1, if someone was Stephen Merchant height we'd look bloody silly walking out!

Saying "no ugly or fat people" and you're a d**k yes, but some preferences are okay ?

To be fair you're focussing entirely on what you look like together so it could be construed as being shallow. You don't care what the actual person is like.

I would however think it's completely justified to say it hurts your neck a lot.

PlaneSpeeking

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

I just don't feel the need to list requirements like that, and for some reason it puts me off. But who cares? There are 1000s of singles on these things, so if you don't like something you look at the next one.

If when you are all swiping you see "25 year old ginger multimillionaire, loves sports; beer and annoying Irish women", let me know ?

Grayson

irishrebe wrote: »

Yes, God forbid there would be discussion and debate on an INTERNET FORUM on a thread specifically dedicated to things that are red flags to you when dating.

To be fair, I had thought this thread might be lighthearted and something different to all the political stuff that's on here right now

I was wrong

cantdecide

irishrebe wrote: »

Loads of friends there already, thanks

Clearly you're all full up for friends.

PlaneSpeeking

Grayson wrote: »

To be fair you're focussing entirely on what you look like together so it could be construed as being shallow. You don't care what the actual person is like.

I would however think it's completely justified to say it hurts your neck a lot.

Excellent point to be honest! My auntie was 4 foot 11 and my uncle was 6 foot 2 and they were married for 52 years God bless them!!!

Grayson

PlaneSpeeking wrote: »

If when you are all swiping you see "25 year old ginger multimillionaire, loves sports; beer and annoying Irish women", let me know ?

Out of 6 characteristics that's the only that fits me

Grayson

Grayson wrote: »

To be fair, I had thought this thread might be lighthearted and something different to all the political stuff that's on here right now

I was wrong

It's had its moments... bear with it and eventually the hostility will fade. hopefully.

Grayson

PlaneSpeeking wrote: »

Excellent point to be honest! My auntie was 4 foot 11 and my uncle was 6 foot 2 and they were married for 52 years God bless them!!!

There are times when you see a couple with that height difference and you think "awwww. That's cute" and then your wonder how they manage in bed.

PlaneSpeeking

PlaneSpeeking wrote: »

Excellent point to be honest! My auntie was 4 foot 11 and my uncle was 6 foot 2 and they were married for 52 years God bless them!!!

I'm 193 cm tall and I love small women. They're Incredibly sexy. Most of my experiences have been with women much shorter than me.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

I just don't feel the need to list requirements like that, and for some reason it puts me off. But who cares? There are 1000s of singles on these things, so if you don't like something you look at the next one.

Tbh, it'd probably put me off someone too but I can see the point of it.

From what I remember from dating sites, if you're a woman looking for a man, you get flooded with messages, and men complain frequently about sending out dozens of messages and just getting radio silence, so why not cut off a mutual waste of time at the pass?

PlaneSpeeking

Grayson wrote: »

Out of 6 characteristics that's the only that fits me

Twas not meant to be Grayson!

Teyla Emmagan

Deleted User wrote:

It's had its moments... bear with it and eventually the hostility will fade. hopefully.

Hopefully is right. The sniping is headwrecking.

Let's get back to criticising lovelorn internet randomers!

Grayson

Grayson wrote: »

There are times when you see a couple with that height difference and you think "awwww. That's cute" and then your wonder how they manage in bed.

Bed isn't any issue. If anything, I'd suggest the height difference makes many sexual positions easier... especially for showers or other places.

The only real issue is kissing while standing up. That can be hard on the neck and spine.

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

Kyng Helpless Bikini wrote: »

Tbh, it'd probably put me off someone too but I can see the point of it.

From what I remember from dating sites, if you're a woman looking for a man, you get flooded with messages, and men complain frequently about sending out dozens of messages and just getting radio silence, so why not cut off a mutual waste of time at the pass?

I totally get why they do it, if that's what they're into. But it puts me off, for whatever reason. Isn't that what this thread is about? We all have our preferences.

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

Deleted User wrote: »

Bed isn't any issue. If anything, I'd suggest the height difference makes many sexual positions easier... especially for showers or other places.

The only real issue is kissing while standing up. That can be hard on the neck and spine.

:eek:

pickarooney

PlaneSpeeking wrote: »

If when you are all swiping you see "25 year old ginger multimillionaire, loves sports; beer and annoying Irish women", let me know ?

Is that an ajective or a verb?

irishrebe

PlaneSpeeking wrote: »

May I ask ?  Why is it shallow to ask about height ?

I'm 5-1, if someone was Stephen Merchant height we'd look bloody silly walking out!

Saying "no ugly or fat people" and you're a d**k yes, but some preferences are okay ?

And it's also...potentially impractical. If a woman is very tall and doesn't want to be towering over the man, or very short and doesn't want the man towering over her, I think it's fair enough to state a preference. Seems a lot better and fairer to me than ending up wasting people's time.

PlaneSpeeking

pickarooney wrote: »

Is that an ajective or a verb?

In my case adjective but.....!

Kyng Helpless Bikini

Kyng Helpless Bikini wrote: »

Tbh, it'd probably put me off someone too but I can see the point of it.

From what I remember from dating sites, if you're a woman looking for a man, you get flooded with messages, and men complain frequently about sending out dozens of messages and just getting radio silence, so why not cut off a mutual waste of time at the pass?

Oh, I'm definitely getting less attention than my female friends, but I'd still prefer that a potential date knows my attraction/interest right from the beginning. For all the complaints by men, I'd suggest that it isn't as bad as they're making out. I'm a member on a couple of sites and I get plenty of contacts, and I rarely contact anyone first.

On my own profile I will state I have no interest in fat, "extra pounds" or overweight women. It's a major thing for me, because I know from experience, I can't get past it, unless it's just for friendship/chatting.

If someone doesn't like me stating it, I don't feel any loss in them passing me by. Most of my dating comes from direct contact rather than online dating anyway.

PlaneSpeeking

Didn't the delightfully petite 5' 3" and sadly missed Prince say "we're all the same height lying down ?"

Grayson

pickarooney wrote: »

Is that an ajective or a verb?

I was wondering that too. If it's a verb I could probably qualify.

irishrebe

Kyng Helpless Bikini wrote: »

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

I just don't feel the need to list requirements like that, and for some reason it puts me off. But who cares? There are 1000s of singles on these things, so if you don't like something you look at the next one.

Tbh, it'd probably put me off someone too but I can see the point of it.

From what I remember from dating sites, if you're a woman looking for a man, you get flooded with messages, and men complain frequently about sending out dozens of messages and just getting radio silence, so why not cut off a mutual waste of time at the pass?

Indeed. It's also something which is very hard to tell from photos. You can see their hair/eye colour, weight, build, style and pretty much everything else, but it's hard to tell someone's height without a point of reference. If height would be a dealbreaker to someone in real life, it only seems logical for it to be one on online dating as well.

mistersifter

What about if a fella put , "only burds with massive knockers need apply". I dont think he'd have much success.

I think things depend on how things are stated. If someone has an otherwise respectable profile and includes "usually attracted to tall, dark types" , grand. On the other hand, comments like, "you know what I call fellas under 6ft?: Friends!" makes people come off as shallow and spoilt.

It seems that the most off-putting thing is when a biog amounts to a list of demands. Rather than actually talking about themselves they put "I want XYZ and if you cant offer it don't msg me".

This sort of attitude is rampant among young Irish women as far as I can see, many of whom cant see the difference between stating tastes and being a stuck-up c*nt with a seriously misplaced sense of superiority.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

PlaneSpeeking wrote: »

Didn't the delightfully petite 5' 3" and sadly missed Prince say "we're all the same height lying down ?"

Depends. Fat. Big ol boobies. Massive throbbing erection. All three.

pickarooney

Kyng Helpless Bikini wrote: »

Depends. Fat. Big ol boobies. Massive throbbing erection. All three.

Keep going...

givyjoe

Deleted User wrote: »

Oh, I'm definitely getting less attention than my female friends, but I'd still prefer that a potential date knows my attraction/interest right from the beginning. For all the complaints by men, I'd suggest that it isn't as bad as they're making out. I'm a member on a couple of sites and I get plenty of contacts, and I barely contact anyone first.

On my own profile I will state I have no interest in fat, "extra pounds" or overweight women. It's a major thing for me, because I know from experience, I can't get past it, unless it's just for friendship/chatting.

If someone doesn't like me stating it, I don't feel any loss in them passing me by. Most of my dating comes from direct contact rather than online dating anyway.

Do you never get offended women messaging just to berate you?! I literally had a bumble match last week, just so she could tell me "you know lots of women are probably put off by you stating you're not interested in crazies". It became obvious pretty quick that she was taking it personally and just wanted to have a pop. I've actually stopped (tongue in cheek comments aside) putting what I don't want on a profile. Just attracts oddballs getting offended

givyjoe

mistersifter wrote: »

What about if a fella put , "only burds with massive knockers need apply". I dont think he'd have much success.

I think things depend on how things are stated. If someone has an otherwise respectable profile and includes "usually attracted to tall, dark types" , grand. On the other hand, comments like, "you know what I call fellas under 6ft?: Friends!" makes people come off as shallow and spoilt.

It seems that the most off-putting thing is when a biog amounts to a list of demands. Rather than actually talking about themselves they put "I want XYZ and if you cant offer it don't msg me".

This sort of attitude is rampant among young Irish women as far as I can see, many of whom cant see the difference between stating tastes and being a stuck-up c*nt with a seriously misplaced sense of superiority.

I used to see an awful lot of that on POF, less so on Tinder or Bumble. A shopping list profile jammed with must have's is a massive turn off.

Grayson

mistersifter wrote: »

It seems that the most off-putting thing is when a biog amounts to a list of demands. Rather than actually talking about themselves they put "I want XYZ and if you cant offer it don't msg me".

Do guys do that as well I wonder?

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

pickarooney wrote: »

Keep going...

Two massive erections!

givyjoe

Kyng Helpless Bikini wrote: »

Two massive erections!

Saucy.. Go on

Grayson

givyjoe wrote: »

I used to see an awful lot of that on POF, less so on Tinder or Bumble. A shopping list profile jammed with must have's is a massive turn off.

I don't see it at all on ok cupid. But as I mentioned, they make you answer so many questions that you tend to get matched with someone similarish to yourself. Whereas POF is just complete randomness and so I see it there.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

givyjoe wrote: »

Saucy.. Go on

And a ruptured hernia!

I've been shacked up the last 4 years I forget what's sexy.

irishrebe

givyjoe wrote: »

Deleted User wrote: »

Oh, I'm definitely getting less attention than my female friends, but I'd still prefer that a potential date knows my attraction/interest right from the beginning. For all the complaints by men, I'd suggest that it isn't as bad as they're making out. I'm a member on a couple of sites and I get plenty of contacts, and I barely contact anyone first.

On my own profile I will state I have no interest in fat, "extra pounds" or overweight women. It's a major thing for me, because I know from experience, I can't get past it, unless it's just for friendship/chatting.

If someone doesn't like me stating it, I don't feel any loss in them passing me by. Most of my dating comes from direct contact rather than online dating anyway.

Do you never get offended women messaging just to berate you?! I literally had a bumble match last week, just so she could tell me "you know lots of women are probably put off by you stating you're not interested in crazies". It became obvious pretty quick that she was taking it personally and just wanted to have a pop. I've actually stopped (tongue in cheek comments aside) putting what I don't want on a profile. Just attracts oddballs getting offended

It actually reflects really badly on the person themselves if they have a huge long list of things they don't want, especially if they're character traits as opposed to physical preferences. Kind of like how the people who say 'not looking for any drama' are actually the biggest drama queens in the world themselves. There is a lot of projection on those lists.

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

Grayson wrote: »

Do guys do that as well I wonder?

Unless you're Colin Farrell or something I doubt you'd get anywhere on a dating site as a man with a list of demands. Some of the POF ones were just hilarious, literally just a list of NO THIS NO THAT. And I bet lots of muppets out there are still messaging them!

irishrebe

Grayson wrote: »

givyjoe wrote: »

I used to see an awful lot of that on POF, less so on Tinder or Bumble. A shopping list profile jammed with must have's is a massive turn off.

I don't see it at all on ok cupid. But as I mentioned, they make you answer so many questions that you tend to get matched with someone similarish to yourself. Whereas POF is just complete randomness and so I see it there.

I used OK Cupid a long time ago and found that the question process was really effective. Met a guy I got on amazingly well with and dated for a long time until I had to move for work. I heard that they recently changed their approach so it's more Tinder-like now. Is that true?

Dial Hard

Grayson wrote: »

Do guys do that as well I wonder?

They do. In fact, this entire thread could pretty much be summed up as follows:

All the things that piss you off on POF/Tinder/POF are done in equal measure by both genders.

cantdecide

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

And I bet lots of muppets out there are still messaging them!

I say those muppets are playing their own numbers game. This kind of thing makes me believe that some guys are just so obsessed with getting the leg over that absolutely nothing else matters.

Being excessively fussy is a bit weird but having zero fussiness comes across of soooo much weirder when you think about it.

givyjoe

irishrebe wrote: »

It actually reflects really badly on the person themselves if they have a huge long list of things they don't want, especially if they're character traits as opposed to physical preferences. Kind of like how the people who say 'not looking for any drama' are actually the biggest drama queens in the world themselves. There is a lot of projection on those lists.

Jesus wept... were you the triggered girl who messaged me last week then? Is it possible for you to go 5 mins here without having a pop at someone. Buzz killington on this thread you are.

Grayson

Dial Hard wrote: »

They do. In fact, this entire thread could pretty much be summed up as follows:

All the things that piss you off on POF/Tinder/POF are done in equal measure by both genders.

Except duck face.

And I guess the topless gym photo is probably more common with guys too.

givyjoe

Kyng Helpless Bikini wrote: »

And a ruptured hernia!

I've been shacked up the last 4 years I forget what's sexy.

I'm totally lost now, I'll admit I was half paying attention til you mentioned 2 massive erections.. how did they lead a ruptured hernia?!