Wedding Issues - Help!!

susb

Hi gang,

Sorry I'm new to this but having an absolute nightmare at the moment with our wedding venue.

We booked it for October back in December and the venue itself is beautiful, as well as the area having a special place for my family.
Anyway, all seemed great at the get go and we put our initial deposit down.

Things went a bit funny when we got our contracts in the post - there were a few things on it that I wasn't happy about so I called them and they said that it's all fine, the contracts need to be updated, etc. Essentially it was taking no liability if things went wrong, they could cancel at any notice etc. Needless to say, we didn't sign it.

Then when we asked about when we could have our tasting, they told us that they didn't do tastings but they'll send us photos so we can choose the menu from that...
I get that not everywhere does tastings but our venue isn't cheap and we don't know anyone who has had a wedding there... How can you base food for 180 guests off a photo. Anyway, they had an open weekend a few weeks ago and we asked if we could join for a dinner (as they aren't a restaurant, they only have open weekends when there is no wedding on).
We went with our families and the setting truly is stunning. However, the meal itself was just not good.

From when we arrived, no one took our wine orders and there were no servers around checking things were ok. We had to wait until our starter was brought out before we could ask a server for wine and then they brought them out and just plonked the bottles on the table. They also didn't give us the cutlery for the starter so we had to ask for that as well.
The staff were generally very young and inexperienced, but the biggest problem for me was that there was no one watching and overseeing this.
The food itself was really disappointing too - I ordered fillet of beef (which we wanted to have for the wedding) and it was an incredible fatty piece of steak that had been quickly seared on a pan so that it looked cooked but was rare on the inside and I'd ordered it medium. I barely ate it and no one questioned it when they took it away. The only person who was happy with their main was my dad who had lamb which he said was 'nice'.
After being to so many weddings, food is really important to us, and we knew it was a bit of a gamble going somewhere we didn't have a direct review of but we didn't think it would be so lacklustre. We have since heard really mixed reviews of the food there from friends of friends who said not to order the duck, the fillet of beef, etc.

The final nail in the coffin was yesterday when I sent out an email to my friends with the cottage accommodation onsite (that sleeps about 70 people, we also have 30 rooms in the venue itself). It was previously owned separate to our venue and I had been in contact with them in January to hold them for our wedding party. We are having a day 2 in the venue as well so most will be staying for at least 2 nights. Anyway, she was told the accommodation was full. I obviously freaked out and called them, to be told the accommodation has been recently taken over by our wedding venue. They informed me that they had taken a booking from a bride the week after mine and they have block booked it for the full week as they are coming from America. Apparently in the changeover, bookings and provisional bookings were lost but you would THINK they would call the couples who have their weddings on and give priority to them on their dates! She then told me to call a hotel about a 10 min drive away to see if they can host our guests.
90% of the people attending this are travelling over 2 hours and a huge reason we booked this venue is so everyone can be on site. They said they'll 'ask' the american bride if she will give up the booking for 2 of the nights but that this is obviously not guaranteed. The only reason they even said this was because I freaked out and said I will pull it unless we get suitable accom.

It's been the most incredibly stressful and upsetting thing and I genuinely feel like I no longer want to have my wedding there but it's 6 month to the big day.
We have paid 1500e as deposit and that's it...

Can anyone offer any advice? Am I completely overreacting??

lazygal

I'd start looking for another venue. We had a six month engagement, it's do able. I'd be too concerned about the venue creating stress coming up to the day and on the day itself.

rainbowtrout

If the food and service is rubbish why would you even go through with having the reception there? The accommodation is just a side issue at this stage.

Milkman..

Did you check trip adviser before booking?

woodchuck

Yeah personally I'd start looking around at other venues. 1500euro is a small price to pay Although I'd still try to get the deposit back if possible; check those terms and conditions!

susb

We probably had rose tinted glasses on hoping it would be different for the day because they're a wedding venue, not a restaurant.

With all the hassle though, I really don't know how we can continue

susb

We did check tripadvisor, there are only 18 reviews because they only re-opened it about 2 years ago.

They are broadly good but there are so few reviews it's hard to get a really good assessment and most of them talk about the beautiful building and setting itself (which it is)

stargazer 68

Beautiful building and setting is lovely however your guests will be talking about the food and service more! If you don't think they can do any better I would start looking elsewhere

Milkman..

susb wrote: »

We did check tripadvisor, there are only 18 reviews because they only re-opened it about 2 years ago.

They are broadly good but there are so few reviews it's hard to get a really good assessment and most of them talk about the beautiful building and setting itself (which it is)

I would cancel

Easy to say in hindsight but it would have been worth staying a night or 2 to get a feel for the place

SarahS2013

It will be worth it in the end. Start looking for alternative venues now...you never know, you may get a cancellation somewhere.

lazygal

Dovies wrote: »

Beautiful building and setting is lovely however your guests will be talking about the food and service more! If you don't think they can do any better I would start looking elsewhere

Agree. Start looking at reliable standard wedding venues today. Sometimes these alternative type wedding venues are more hassle than they're worth. Where are you looking op, people might have suggestions.

SarahS2013

We're all here to help

susb

Thanks guys..! Really appreciated.

That venue is in Sligo but we live in Dublin so I guess Leinster area would be more convenient for us anyway

SarahS2013

I think I know where you're talking about. Would it happen to be a castle?!

What sort of numbers are you looking for?

susb

Yep, that's the one.

Unless you have any good reports of it and I've just been really unlucky?!?!

180 numbers wise.

woodchuck

susb wrote: »

Yep, that's the one.

Unless you have any good reports of it and I've just been really unlucky?!?!

180 numbers wise.

Gonna leave this thread here if it's of use... includes my experience as guest if this is the place you're talking about!

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=103834560

SarahS2013

Start with ideas from articles/searches such as below.

Write out an email explaining you're looking for late availability for 180 people and literally copy and paste it to all and sundry.


https://www.onefabday.com/ie/30-wedding-venues-close-to-dublin/
https://www.weddingsonline.ie/venues
https://lovindublin.com/lifestyle/weddings/5-divine-country-house-wedding-venues-within-30-minutes-drive-of-dublin


I'm having a City Wedding so most of the research I've done probably wouldn't interest you. Also, the old Four Seasons in Ballsbridge (now the Intercontinental) has surprisingly good packages. They had lots of availability when we visited as their bookings had dropped because it wasn't "The Four Seaons" anymore.

CeilingFly

Try Kilkea Castle outside Castledermot in Kildare.

They did a huge renovation and only just re-opened, so may not have been on many people's lists and may have dates available.

https://www.kilkeacastle.ie/weddings/

edit - just had a look at prices (ugh - €125 pp)

another fab castle is Kinnity Castle https://www.kinnittycastlehotel.com/wedding-packages.html

Teyla Emmagan

Definitely look for another venue. Bad food, bad service, no accommodation!? It's not worth it.

mcgiggles

PMd you there OP

susb

Thank you so much all.

They have come back now sorting out the accommodation for us... After we said we would cancel the 2 days. It just should never have happened in the first place and is so unprofessional.

Meauldsegosha

susb wrote: »

Thank you so much all.

They have come back now sorting out the accommodation for us... After we said we would cancel the 2 days. It just should never have happened in the first place and is so unprofessional.

But you still have the issue of poor service and food. They would be more of a priority to me then accommodation.

mcgiggles

Meauldsegosha wrote:

But you still have the issue of poor service and food. They would be more of a priority to me then accommodation.

I've been onto the OP I'm going to a wedding there next week so going to report back to her after

susb

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

But you still have the issue of poor service and food. They would be more of a priority to me then accommodation.

Absolutely agree but main priority is to have sufficient accommodation. They haven't sorted that 100% yet either and we have found another place we loved that has availability the day before if we are to change. Some guests have already booked flights which causes a bit of an issue if we are to move it fwd and we won't get a day 2 there so we are going to have to weigh it all up.

Not fun!

susb

mcgiggles wrote: »

I've been onto the OP I'm going to a wedding there next week so going to report back to her after

Thank you mcgiggles, that is amazing to get feedback on!

MattressRick

If the food and service was bad walk away. Theyll have inexperienced waiting staff on the wedding day. Seen it before in other castle weddings. Places that don't have full time kitchens and staff are risky. It's normally students with no experience waiting the tables.

Just from your OP it looks like you didn't sign a contract? If so I doubt they felt any obligation to hold accomodation in the cottages. For a wedding you'd need to get everything locked down in writing. BTW the liability for damages is standard in wedding contracts. If you're booking out the venue and someone you know at the wedding damages something accidentally drunkenly or whatever, theyd surely be decent enough to pay for the damage the following day? That clause is a common one.

susb

MattressRick wrote: »

If the food and service was bad walk away. Theyll have inexperienced waiting staff on the wedding day. Seen it before in other castle weddings. Places that don't have full time kitchens and staff are risky. It's normally students with no experience waiting the tables.

Just from your OP it looks like you didn't sign a contract? If so I doubt they felt any obligation to hold accomodation in the cottages. For a wedding you'd need to get everything locked down in writing. BTW the liability for damages is standard in wedding contracts. If you're booking out the venue and someone you know at the wedding damages something accidentally drunkenly or whatever, theyd surely be decent enough to pay for the damage the following day? That clause is a common one.

I agree but it's the fact that we have quite a few travelling from abroad (Australia, Dubai etc) so it's not that easy to walk away unless we have to.

Re the cottages, they only recently took them over so they were never included in the contract. It was owned separately before and I'd booked them with them. So I hadn't even heard ownership was changed until guests called and houldn't book.
The venue said that in the changeover, previous bookings had been lost, which i get but can't understand how they didn't contact brides/grooms to let them know and ensure priority was given to them... especially when bookings had been made!

MattressRick

susb wrote: »

I agree but it's the fact that we have quite a few travelling from abroad (Australia, Dubai etc) so it's not that easy to walk away unless we have to.

Re the cottages, they only recently took them over so they were never included in the contract. It was owned separately before and I'd booked them with them. So I hadn't even heard ownership was changed until guests called and houldn't book.
The venue said that in the changeover, previous bookings had been lost, which i get but can't understand how they didn't contact brides/grooms to let them know and ensure priority was given to them... especially when bookings had been made!

Yeah the losing of bookings is bad enough but not thinking of ringing all future wedding groups is scandalous

lazygal

susb wrote: »

I agree but it's the fact that we have quite a few travelling from abroad (Australia, Dubai etc) so it's not that easy to walk away unless we have to.

Re the cottages, they only recently took them over so they were never included in the contract. It was owned separately before and I'd booked them with them. So I hadn't even heard ownership was changed until guests called and houldn't book.
The venue said that in the changeover, previous bookings had been lost, which i get but can't understand how they didn't contact brides/grooms to let them know and ensure priority was given to them... especially when bookings had been made!

Do you really trust them to provide what was agreed at the outset?
I understand you love the venue but TBH as a guest I struggle to remember much about any wedding venue I've been to, they all merge into each other and what I really remember is having a good time, catching up with people, having a few drinks and a dance and the food being good. We let one venue go because they messed up before we had even signed a contract. The venue we ended up going with was better in every way.

Aud2009

I know the venue you are talking about. I had my wedding reception there last year and I could not fault it the food was fantastic and the venue was beautiful. We had the fillet of beef on our menu and it was cooked perfectly. We were disappointed we didn't have a tasting but we had eaten in Cabra Castle same owners so we knew the food would be good.

I have heard excellent reviews from people who have had their weddings there. Maybe you should contact the manager and discuss your concerns.

Also some of my guests stayed in the apartments on the grounds they just booked them on time. I don't think it's the venues responsibility to ensure your guests have accomadation. If someone else has them booked they just had it organised on time. There is plenty of accomadation in Sligo town not far from the hotel.

Aud2009

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

Definitely look for another venue. Bad food, bad service, no accommodation!? It's not worth it.

I know the venue and I had my wedding there. I could not fault it. The food was fantastic and a lot of people who have got married there recently have given great reviews.