Weddings - a terrible day out.

JohnnyFlash

Opened the letter box this morning, and discovered an invite to the wedding of my nephew and his girlfriend. Has put me in bad mood as a result. I’ll have to go, but I’d rather get a 5-fingered prostate exam than attend to be honest. Does anyone actually enjoy Irish weddings?

They take all day. They cost a fortune. The food is nearly always shîte, you end up talking to cousins and other relations you hate, the speeches are always the same, you can’t get too drunk or the extended family will be gossiping about you, you don’t know who you’ll be sitting beside, the music is terrible. Just a really bad day out. The only positive is that there’s a decent chance you’ll get the ride at the end of the night.

When will start having w mature conversation about this? No one wants to go to these dreadful affairs only Bridezilla and her bridesmaids. Fiasco.

jacksie66

This post has been deleted.

Rory28

I think they are great. As long as its not me up there I'd go to one a week if I could.

salmocab

Sounds like it’s your family you hate there OP

Bob Harris

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Opened the letter box this morning, and discovered an invite to the wedding of my nephew and his girlfriend. Has put me in bad mood as a result. I’ll have to go, but I’d rather get a 5-fingered prostate exam than attend to be honest. Does anyone actually enjoy Irish weddings?

Would that be 5 fingers at the same time or one after the other?

HeidiHeidi

You don't HAVE to go, you know.

Tabnabs

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Opened the letter box this morning, and discovered an invite to the wedding of my nephew and his girlfriend. Has put me in bad mood as a result. I’ll have to go, but I’d rather get a 5-fingered prostate exam than attend to be honest. Does anyone actually enjoy Irish weddings?

Would that be a 2-knuckler or a 3-knuckler one? Like, really how bad do you not want to go?

not yet

Just turn up mad drunk in your nude, problem solved.

Steve F

jacksie66 wrote: »

I hate social gatherings as a whole. I hate being in a room with more than 2 or 3 people..

My feelings to a tee
Will you marry me?

JohnnyFlash

HeidiHeidi wrote: »

You don't HAVE to go, you know.

You kind of do though. And you have to give 150 as a gift if you’re single, or 300 if you’re a couple. They are nearly always a complete waste of a day. As I said, the only positive is that there’s a decent chance you’ll chat up a bird later on in the evenings, and retire to the massively overpriced room for a bit of the beast with two backs.

Spanish Eyes

This is a "marmite" issue, you either love or hate weddings.

But even if you hate them, there are some of close family that it is very difficult to get out of, particularly with the "save the date" things, meaning you cannot inadvertently oooops, have booked a holiday for the same time" Trapped we are !

Anyway, I'm not a great lover of weddings myself have to say, but will go to immediate family ones no problem. I know everyone and get sitting beside like minded people. Usually good fun.

Younger folk love them for the all day event, the drinking and dancing, and sing song into the small hours. I was one of them once!

But now I'm getting older the only part of weddings I don't like is the dancing part. So now, we go to all the ceremonies, hang around, have a drink, eat the meal, chat to everyone, and then feck off about an hour into the dancing. We are NOT missed at all!

I think the Queen has the right idea. At all the recent weddings she attended, she just toasted the B+G at the after ceremony drinks reception and fecked off home to her corgis!

Hector Savage

Wedding invites are like a summons.

Steve F

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

You kind of do though. And you have to give 150 as a gift if you’re single, or 300 if you’re a couple. They are nearly always a complete waste of a day. As I said, the only positive is that there’s a decent chance you’ll chat up a bird later on in the evenings, and retire to the massively overpriced room for a bit of the beast with two backs.

Feck that!!! I wouldn't give that much :rolleyes:

Sky King

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Opened the letter box this morning, and discovered an invite to the wedding of my nephew and his girlfriend. Has put me in bad mood as a result. I’ll have to go, but I’d rather get a 5-fingered prostate exam than attend to be honest. Does anyone actually enjoy Irish weddings?

They take all day. They cost a fortune. The food is nearly always shîte, you end up talking to cousins and other relations you hate, the speeches are always the same, you can’t get too drunk or the extended family will be gossiping about you, you don’t know who you’ll be sitting beside, the music is terrible. Just a really bad day out. The only positive is that there’s a decent chance you’ll get the ride at the end of the night.

When will start having w mature conversation about this? No one wants to go to these dreadful affairs only Bridezilla and her bridesmaids. Fiasco.

I bet your nephew invited you out of spite.

Fiver says youre at the kids table as well.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Yes totally agree. Most weddings nowadays are long, dragged out and really boring affairs. Maybe the first few you go to are exciting and 'different' but after that they all just merge into one long samey samey wedding.

yourdeadwright

I have one coming up and the missus is Bridesmaid,
I know basically know one but the Bride and my Missus so a day of eating and making small talk with people iv never meet while it costs me a fortune because of course we have to stay for two nights don't we ,

iamwhoiam

They probably only asked the grumpy uncle out of politeness and obligation

The Backwards Man

If there was any good in people they'd get married on a damp Tuesday in November, but naw, always on a good Bank Holiday when there's turf to foot and grass to cut.

Selfish bastards.

facehugger99

I have to go to my nephew in law's First Communion next Saturday.

It's a 2 hour drive away.

Apparently we have to go to the mass which lasts an hour.

Stand around for ages taking photos of the snot-nosed brat and his friends.

Go back to the parents house for shop-bought lasagna.

Spend ages there talking to people I have absolutely no interest or nothing in common with.

Stay sober because I have to drive home.

50% of the weekend gone doing something that's going to be painful from start to finish.

No guarantee of ride afterwards either - she'll probably be 'too tired'.

I'll take the wedding any day.

JohnnyFlash

iamwhoiam wrote: »

They probably only asked the grumpy uncle out of politeness and obligation

They needn’t have bothered. I’d rather untangle a box of cables to be honest.

Steve F

One thing I have learned from the responses to this thread is I'm not as big a weirdo as I thought I was ha ha

iamwhoiam

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

They needn’t have bothered. I’d rather untangle a box of cables to be honest.

Then do just that .

Agricola

Hate weddings. Luckily for me I'm so anti social I don't get invited to a lot of them!

I honestly think the way forward is to just be known as that person that doesn't do weddings. Just blanket ban them. That way there's none of the "oh he went to hers, but not to mine" or any of that shít. Just don't go to any if you feel that strongly about it. You'll be grudgingly respected. And as for falling out with people over non attendance, if you land the 150/200 quid in front of them around the time of the wedding, you'll still be a hero and everyone's a winner.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

I also wish this fad for destination weddings would die a death. At least if a wedding is at home you can make your excuses at some stage in the evening and escape. But if you're all trapped in the same Spanish village it's a bit difficult to say you have an early start in the morning/the babysitter needs to go home/you have to be at another function later on.

WesternZulu

Depends on the wedding.

For the last three years I've averaged about 11 weddings annually.
I look forward to the ones that are friends of mine as they are the few times we get to meet up these days.

If it's a wedding of my girlfriends side then I wouldn't say I look forward to it although I do enjoy it when I'm there. If I'm honest the most part I resent in that case is that my whole weekend is gone between the wedding and the afters.

whisky_galore

Hector Savage wrote: »

Wedding invites are like a summons.

Like a big, fat unwanted bill more like...

Spanish Eyes

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

I also wish this fad for destination weddings would die a death. At least if a wedding is at home you can make your excuses at some stage in the evening and escape. But if you're all trapped in the same Spanish village it's a bit difficult to say you have an early start in the morning/the babysitter needs to go home/you have to be at another function later on.

I will NOT go to destination weddings abroad ever. Close family do not like the idea either, so all is good in that department!

Sorry, not going, but will always give a present of money whether attending or not. Saves loadsa dough by not going anyway, and everyone is happy.

ballsymchugh

Hector Savage wrote: »

Wedding invites are like a summons.

getting married in the summer. toying with the idea of putting

'you are summonsed to the wedding...' on the top of the invite.

Spanish Eyes

ballsymchugh wrote: »

getting married in the summer. toying with the idea of putting

'you are summonsed to the wedding...' on the top of the invite.

And ten penalty points or jail if you don't attend

Pherekydes

I feel your pain, OP. I have to go to a wedding in October. I despise the couple and the hotel is in the middle of nowhere, and it's old, so the room will probably be musty and damp. The food is supposed to be good, but we'll have to see...

I'd rather watch a soccer game between a team of darts players and a team of golfers.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

And ten penalty points or jail if you don't attend

And a 'fine' of a €200 gift cheque if you do!

jimgoose

In general I tend to like weddings well enough. People make them, though - whenever I get invited to a wedding involving arseholes, I just don't go. Fuck you, I'm too old for plamásing.

ballsymchugh

Pherekydes wrote: »

I feel your pain, OP. I have to go to a wedding in October. I despise the couple and the hotel is in the middle of nowhere, and it's old, so the room will probably be musty and damp. The food is supposed to be good, but we'll have to see...

I'd rather watch a soccer game between a team of darts players and a team of golfers.

no, you definitely don't.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

To be honest, with most couples living together for ages before they get married nowadays and often having started a family and embarked on a joint marriage long before the big day, weddings don't have the special, exciting momentous feel they used to have.

Yet they have got bigger, more extravagant and go on for days!

murpho999

You’re obviously not close to these people as the invite seemed to come as a surprise to you. So why go?

I’d guess you’ve been invited out of politeness as you’re family but they won’t be devastated if you don’t go.

The rest of your post just makes you sound very miserable.

Been to foreign weddings and I think Ireland does weddings very well , a real sense of occasion, people dress up well etc. Also, some great venues out there with some very good food offerings.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

murpho999 wrote: »

You’re obviously not close to these people as the invite seemed to come as a surprise to you. So why go?

I’d guess you’ve been invited out of politeness as you’re family but they won’t be devastated if you don’t go.

The rest of your post just makes you sound very miserable.

Been to foreign weddings and I think Ireland does weddings very well , a real sense of occasion, people dress up well etc. Also, some great venues out there with some very good food offerings.

I don't think he sounds miserable. He's just echoing the views of many, many people.

Lorelli!

yourdeadwright wrote: »

I have one coming up and the missus is Bridesmaid,
I know basically know one but the Bride and my Missus so a day of eating and making small talk with people iv never meet while it costs me a fortune because of course we have to stay for two nights don't we ,

That happened to me before when my oh was Best Man and I didn't know anyone. I got a lot of awkward pity conversations from the grannies and aunties asking me was I ok and stuff

Mostly though, I like going to them and dont find them to be a burden. They are a happy occasion.

verycool

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

To be honest, with most couples living together for ages before they get married nowadays and often having started a family and embarked on a joint marriage long before the big day, weddings don't have the special, exciting momentous feel they used to have.

Yet they have got bigger, more extravagant and go on for days!

Or as I like to call it, a "show of farce".

Lovely day out and you're made to listen to some fella tell us his imaginary friend is SOO happy now that you get tax breaks while you ponder what's for dinner, and if there's time to stop at McD's en route.

Steve F

murpho999 wrote: »

You’re obviously not close to these people as the invite seemed to come as a surprise to you. So why go?

I’d guess you’ve been invited out of politeness as you’re family but they won’t be devastated if you don’t go.

The rest of your post just makes you sound very miserable.

Been to foreign weddings and I think Ireland does weddings very well , a real sense of occasion, people dress up well etc. Also, some great venues out there with some very good food offerings.

You're a wedding planner aren't you 😉

Idle Passerby

Then don't go! Couples are often guilted into inviting people they couldn't give a toss about. They are probably hoping you can't come so they can cross some names off the obligation invite list and invite their own friends instead!

meeeeh

Among my friends and in general where I come from only people we keep in contact with are usually invited and not some schoolmate you haven't seen for 10 years. Most of the weddings on my side were the weddings I wanted to attend because I can catch up with all of my friends which is handy considering I live in another country. There was only one cousin's wedding that was a bit of a hassle. In Ireland we were maybe to two or three weddings that were a bit of chore but mostly it's people to whose weddings we actually want to go and have fun at. I am fine going to weddings, I hated organizing my own though and it's huge relief the whole thing is done and dusted. The day itself was fine but I couldn't care less about the ceremony, documentation, table decorations and all the hassle that goes with it.

Cee-Jay-Cee

I hate them, people are invited purely to pay for the bride/grooms big day out. They cost a fortune between clothing, accommodation (if they're far away) drinks/spending money and then the obligatory gift for the cúnt that invited you.

I'd actually prefer if friends/family sent out a letter and said 'we're getting married but we don't want a stupid big wedding day but need a bit of money to pay for it so you don't have to do anything but a small gift would be greatly be appreciated" I'd send them €50 and a thank you note for not having to endure the muck of a wedding reception.

GhostyMcGhost

Hector Savage wrote: »

Wedding invites are like a summons.

The invite is the summons

The ceremony is the sentencing

murpho999

Steve F wrote: »

You're a wedding planner aren't you ��

Yes; you can call me Frank!

Now where did I leave my lizard brooch!

c68zapdsm5i1ru

I do think this business of asking for cash gifts so the guests can pay most of the cost of a big huge extravaganza that half of them don't even want to attend is a bit much. I think it was Eddie Hobbs who first came up with that bit of advice.

jk23

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

I hate them, people are invited purely to pay for the bride/grooms big day out. They cost a fortune between clothing, accommodation (if they're far away) drinks/spending money and then the obligatory gift for the cúnt that invited you.

I'd actually prefer if friends/family sent out a letter and said 'we're getting married but we don't want a stupid big wedding day but need a bit of money to pay for it so you don't have to do anything but a small gift would be greatly be appreciated" I'd send them €50 and a thank you note for not having to endure the muck of a wedding reception.

This is what I do. Except for close friends or immediately family.

murpho999

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

I don't think he sounds miserable. He's just echoing the views of many, many miserable people.

Fixed your post.

If you don't enjoy weddings then simply don't go.

theteal

Fcuk me, grow some balls people and just don't go. Also stop giving stupid amounts of money, the "done thing" will change when people cop the fcuk on

c68zapdsm5i1ru

murpho999 wrote: »

Fixed your post.

If you don't enjoy weddings then simply don't go.

It's not that simple.

Also, just because a lot of people don't enjoy something you happen to enjoy doesn't make them 'miserable'. Thinking so does make you rather arrogant though.

Steve F

murpho999 wrote: »

Yes; you can call me Frank!

Now where did I leave my lizard brooch!

rawn

theteal wrote:

Fcuk me, grow some balls people and just don't go. Also stop giving stupid amounts of money, the "done thing" will change when people cop the fcuk on

This!! There was something on the Spin103.8. Facebook page recently about some woman who lost her house due to the debt racked up from attending weddings, because it would be a social "faux pas" not to attend.

Just let that sink in for a moment...