Weddings - a terrible day out.

meeeeh

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

This is a discussion about weddings. This isn't the first time you've come on this thread accusing someone who holds a different view to you of 'whinging'.

I've explained my throwaway '3 days' comment several times. Make it 2 days for an Irish wedding and 4 days for a foreign wedding if you prefer. I'm not going to keep analysing it. The point I was making was about weddings being held midweek in awkward locations putting guests to extra inconvenience. You obviously don't have a problem with that, fine. A lot of people do, also fine.

I think I read more or less the whole thread. I don't think that you managed to say anything positive about anyone. It's clear you don't like weddings which is fine but in this thread you actually come across as someone who delights going to them just to bitch afterwards.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

meeeeh wrote: »

I think I read more or less the whole thread. I don't think that you managed to say anything positive about anyone. It's clear you don't like weddings which is fine but in this thread you actually come across as someone who delights going to them just to bitch afterwards.

What a nasty comment. I, like many others on this thread, have outlined the things we dislike about modern weddings and why we would prefer to see a return to the simpler weddings of previous times. You are perfectly free to disagree with that view, but making unpleasant personal comments is seriously nasty.
I am not going to engage with you anymore, as you are obviously not prepared to keep things civil and have turned what was just a bit of pleasant letting off steam and a bit of countering from those who enjoy weddings, into an opportunity to make an upsetting and rude comment.

WHIP IT!

This thread has been a real eye opener into just how jealously people guard their Annual Leave days in work! :eek:

theyoungchap

meeeeh wrote: »

I think I read more or less the whole thread. I don't think that you managed to say anything positive about anyone. It's clear you don't like weddings which is fine but in this thread you actually come across as someone who delights going to them just to bitch afterwards.

The complaining about having to stay for the barbecue the day after was the pinnacle! If the wedding was on a Wednesday, he'd have to take 4 days off. Might as well take the week off and have something to rightly complain about.....

Electric Sheep

WHIP IT! wrote: »

This thread has been a real eye opener into just how jealously people guard their Annual Leave days in work! :eek:

I'm surprised that this surprises you:) I work very hard, and have no desire to spend my time off attending someone's vanity fest. There are so many more enjoyable ways to pass the time that I can choose for myself.

Jamsiek

mcgiggles wrote: »

It bugs me that people are trying to do things at weddings in order for them to go viral!

Why would that bug you?
Some people want to make their wedding memorable.

splinter65

Dayana Massive Poker wrote: »

Fair enough, its pretty close to my idea of a perfect day. Especially when its often followed by starting again the next morning/early afternoon and having another day of it for the second day of the wedding

That’s just made me feel a little bit sad

splinter65

Jamsiek wrote: »

Why would that bug you?
Some people want to make their wedding memorable.

Memorable for whom?

WHIP IT!

Electric Sheep wrote: »

I'm surprised that this surprises you:) I work very hard, and have no desire to spend my time off attending someone's vanity fest. There are so many more enjoyable ways to pass the time that I can choose for myself.

Here's where that "No thank you" phrase comes in handy...

iamwhoiam

I am surprised at all the negativity . I have been to many wedding and lately to quite a few nieces and nephews . There were one or two moments that were boring or a bit of a wait but in the grand scheme of things we had a great time
I wore the same outfit to at least two or three and not a single person would even remember what Aunty M wore anyway ! I give vouchers for Home Store and More to an amount I see fit and can afford . We drove five hours to one in glorious sunshine and stopped for coffee on the way . We stay where we can afford and that luckily in the hotel mostly
Three of them had a next day continued BBQ or golf day or something . We left after breakfast and didn't stay for the second day . No one batted an eye and waved us off happily
We make it easy for ourselves and suit our pocket or inclinations and enjoy the good day with nice people and a lovely happy couple . Then again we have a lovely family so maybe that makes a difference

Electric Sheep

Electric Sheep wrote: »

I'm surprised that this surprises you:) I work very hard, and have no desire to spend my time off attending someone's vanity fest. There are so many more enjoyable ways to pass the time that I can choose for myself.

I suppose it depends how much annual leave you have and how flexible your job is. For single days off like weddings etc I usually just "work from home" rather than use up a days holiday.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Dayana Massive Poker wrote: »

I suppose it depends how much annual leave you have and how flexible your job is. For single days off like weddings etc I usually just "work from home" rather than use up a days holiday.

Surely you'd be fired if that was discovered?

Meadow Freezing Newsman

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

Surely you'd be fired if that was discovered?

Not really, everyone does it. Swings and roundabouts - plenty of times where I'd be doing a bit in the evenings or on a weekend so it all balances out really. Work is flexible like that, get the work done is what matters not being in the office for the sake of it. Nobody is keeping tabs on you and working from home is common so its not going to be raising any flags.

I'd be on the laptop in the morning before the wedding and keep an eye on emails too on the phone so if something needed responding to I would to either sort it or put it off for the day.

Jamsiek

GoneHome wrote: »

In Ireland??? What about the rain???

Sorry I forgot to mention it's not in Ireland. It's in Vancouver, Canada.

However, we have tents on standby in case it rains which is unlikely in July as the weather is almost guaranteed to be good then. Fingers crossed!

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Dayana Massive Poker wrote: »

Naw, everyone does it. Swings and roundabouts - plenty of times where I'd be doing a bit in the evenings or on a weekend so it all balances out really. Work is flexible like that, get the work done is what matters not being in the office for the sake of it. Nobody is keeping tabs on you and working from home is common so its not going to be raising any flags.

I'd keep an eye on emails too on the phone and if something needed responding too I would.

Sounds like a sensible way of working. While I'm occasionally allowed to work from home my boss doesn't really approve, so if I was going to a wedding I'd have no choice but to take it as leave.

Jamsiek

LirW wrote: »

My part of the family travels in, 2 people having mobility issues so on-site or closest as possible would have been a crucial thing.

But for real, outside in Ireland with the weather? I mean fair play, I wouldn't have the balls and if it's any kind of Marquee, which I find beautiful, couldn't justify the money for it personally.

Its actually in Vancouver, Canada in July so the weather should be good.
However we have tents on standby in case they are needed.

I have family travelling over from Ireland, Spain and Australia so I'm looking forward to having everyone here.

I agree, mobility issues would be a problem, especially travelling over a long distance

Meadow Freezing Newsman

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

Sounds like a sensible way of working. While I'm occasionally allowed to work from home my boss doesn't really approve, so if I was going to a wedding I'd have no choice but to take it as leave.

Also as I edited to say (which I forgot in my original response) I'd be working for the few hours in the morning so its really only the afternoon (normally a Friday when its a wedding which is generally quiet for me anyway so checking mails on the phone is grand).

I don't need prior approval to work from home, can do it when I want.

Also I know it not possible for many people, either its not allowed or they can't do their job from home. It was more to make the point that AL days are less valuable to some people than others.

Jamsiek

Dayana Massive Poker wrote: »

Fair enough, its pretty close to my idea of a perfect day. Especially when its often followed by starting on the beer again the next morning/early afternoon and having another day of it for the second day of the wedding

We have decided the day after our wedding this year will be just us spending the day together. Then a barbeque with our families that evening.

The following day we are having a party for friends to celebrate with us.
Best way to have it IMO

Jamsiek

splinter65 wrote: »

Memorable for whom?

The bride and groom, the families.
Nobody else should matter except maybe close friends.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Jamsiek wrote: »

The bride and groom, the families.
Nobody else should matter except maybe close friends.

Well surely all of the guests matter.

meeeeh

We had a dinner day before and day after for those who travelled. We paid for food and drinks and it was more as a thank you to those who had to book flights and hotel. It kind of backfired because we were given what we thought were way too generous gifts when we got home. We never set out to make money (we didn't) and we tried to make everyone feel comfortable. Not everyone enjoyed the wedding we had but I hope nobody thought we didn't try to accommodate them.

Snickers Man

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

Yes totally agree. Most weddings nowadays are long, dragged out and really boring affairs. Maybe the first few you go to are exciting and 'different' but after that they all just merge into one long samey samey wedding.

Well if you want a short sharp in and out. "I do" "So do I" quick sherry reception, perfunctory meal and then everybody out of the gaff by 6pm......just marry an Englishwoman. In england

That's how they do it.

Boring bastards!

mcgiggles

Jamsiek wrote:

Why would that bug you? Some people want to make their wedding memorable.

This is beyond making the day memorable in fairness! Its about doing something bigger and better than others in order to garner likes on social media!

Jamsiek wrote:

The bride and groom, the families. Nobody else should matter except maybe close friends.

This is exactly my point! That's what the day is about not making a big drama so that the internet approves!

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Snickers Man wrote: »

Well if you want a short sharp in and out. "I do" "So do I" quick sherry reception, perfunctory meal and then everybody out of the gaff by 6pm......just marry an Englishwoman. In england

That's how they do it.

Boring bastards!

Your boring bastards are my sensible B&Gs.

I'm female by the way, so I would prefer to marry an English man

meeeeh

mcgiggles wrote: »

This is beyond making the day memorable in fairness! Its about doing something bigger and better than others in order to garner likes on social media!

It is a bit different than the boring traditional wedding people are complaining about.

Just to make it clear personally I am not fan of 'quirky' touches like that but that's just me. Someone must like them.

Jamsiek

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

Well surely all of the guests matter.

Of course, but most of the guests will forget about it eventually.
In the case of the bride and groom and family, it's more important

Jamsiek

mcgiggles wrote: »

This is beyond making the day memorable in fairness! Its about doing something bigger and better than others in order to garner likes on social media!

This is exactly my point! That's what the day is about not making a big drama so that the internet approves!

Agreed, we will have a videographer there but no gimmicks for the youtube masses

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Jamsiek wrote: »

Of course, but most of the guests will forget about it eventually.
In the case of the bride and groom and family, it's more important

Sorry, maybe I took you up wrong. I agree that the wedding party and immediate family are the ones who will store up precious memories of the day, while the guests will either enjoy or not enjoy the wedding but not really give it much further thought.

A few weddings I've been to stand out in my mind because they had aspects or touches that I really liked or were people very close to me. Most are just blurred memories of typical weddings and I couldn't really tell you anything very specific about them. One or two were really unenjoyable so I remember them quite well also.

Same as with most things in life really. You remember the really nice and really horrible colleagues from long past jobs but can only vaguely recollect the ones that were fine, but not really people you shared much in common with, and so on.

gmisk

I have enjoyed any wedding I have been too, but I don't tend to go to them all.... It isn't mandatory you know!
I go to the ones with mates who are sound, therefore the crowd will generally be spot on and the day will be fun.

Lia_lia

I think weddings are okay. Don't really love them or hate them. They are always the same really.

They are expensive though. The amount you are "expected" to give as a gift in this country is mental.

My idea of having a big Irish wedding is hell. The thoughts of having to arrange a big day out, with all my family (who are all mad and many don't talk to each other...like my parents for example) and his family (who are a completely normal Irish family) fills me with dread. Also the amount of money they cost sounds like the biggest waste of money there is. If I ever get married it will be in and out of the registry office and that's it.

splinter65

Jamsiek wrote: »

The bride and groom, the families.
Nobody else should matter except maybe close friends.

I have one daughter. Do you think I would forget about her wedding day if she doesn’t pull some kind of stupid stunt filmed (in portrait of course) on an iPhone and uploaded to YouTube?
This is the kind of nonsense people are complaining about.
1. Your wedding MUST stand out from all the other weddings. (Why?)
Answer: It won’t be “memorable” otherwise.
2. You will attempt to make it stand out by pulling some kind of stunt that has already been pulled 50 times and posting it on Facebook. (Why?)
Answer: all manner of terrible things will happen if your weddings not memorable.

Electric Sheep

WHIP IT! wrote: »

Here's where that "No thank you" phrase comes in handy...

It certainly does, I use it frequently.

Electric Sheep

Snickers Man wrote: »

Well if you want a short sharp in and out. "I do" "So do I" quick sherry reception, perfunctory meal and then everybody out of the gaff by 6pm......just marry an Englishwoman. In england

That's how they do it.

Boring bastards!

I was at a similar wedding here in Boston. 12 guests, fantastic Italian food, over in a couple of hours. Best wedding I have ever attended.

Jamsiek

splinter65 wrote: »

I have one daughter. Do you think I would forget about her wedding day if she doesn’t pull some kind of stupid stunt filmed (in portrait of course) on an iPhone and uploaded to YouTube?
This is the kind of nonsense people are complaining about.
1. Your wedding MUST stand out from all the other weddings. (Why?)
Answer: It won’t be “memorable” otherwise.
2. You will attempt to make it stand out by pulling some kind of stunt that has already been pulled 50 times and posting it on Facebook. (Why?)
Answer: all manner of terrible things will happen if your weddings not memorable.

I agree, I already agreed with mcgiggles about this.
No need for gimmicks
However, people shouldn't be condemned for wanting to do it either
It should be up to the bride and groom IMO

Franz Von Peppercorn

The second day of a wedding is weird. I did that once or twice as I was abroad for about 3 weddings so you stay around for the weekend.

I was invited to a meal the next day once. At the end of the meal the best man asked us all for speeches re the lovely couple.

This was a large group of 40-50 people. Even girlfriends and boyfriends, people who hadn’t seen the bride before in their life, had to opine about how amazing the couple were and destined for a fabled life of happiness. I got my speech in first or second to get it over with (anyway the best man was at my table).

I just did a toast. After that it was copy cat rhetoric until a priest ranted on for 30 minutes, followed by another self indulgent public speaker. When I spoke I spoke for 1 minute but after the priest the speeches got longer and more uncomfortable as people not used to public speaking felt they had to talk for minutes following the priest lecture. (What was he talking about? No idea. Blanked from my brain).

Eventually a few people just plain out refused and it stopped. Then the priest said a few more words. For 20 more minutes.

We left at midnight. The meal started at 7. I drank my last coffee at 9:30.

italodisco

Irish weddings are absolute crap. After being to a few polish weddings I'd never go to another crappy generic Irish do again, sir around all day listening to lads talk muck about football all day, rubbish bands.....

Nah, yer alright lol

Jamsiek

Jamsiek wrote: »

We have decided the day after our wedding this year will be just us spending the day together. Then a barbeque with our families that evening.

The following day we are having a party for friends to celebrate with us.
Best way to have it IMO

Our second day is going to be another party with loads of family, friends etc. We are having a fairly big wedding so there could be potentially up to 100 people at our second day even if lots who attended the wedding don't come so I'd expect to be around people for the full day and night and to be honest this is what we would want.

Plenty of time to spend alone with each other on honeymoon which will be a few days after the wedding.

Heres Johnny

italodisco wrote: »

Irish weddings are absolute crap. After being to a few polish weddings I'd never go to another crappy generic Irish do again, sir around all day listening to lads talk muck about football all day, rubbish bands.....

Nah, yer alright lol

I agree with you but what was so good about the Polish wedding?

Jamsiek

Dayana Massive Poker wrote: »

Our second day is going to be another party with loads of family, friends etc. We are having a big wedding so there could be potentially up to 100 people at our second day even if lots who attended the wedding don't come so I'd expect to be around people for the full day and night and to be honest this is what we would want.

Plenty of time to spend alone with each other on honeymoon which will be a few days after the wedding.

The difference is we are having the party 2 days after the wedding so in a way we are spreading it to 3 days

Jamsiek

Jamsiek wrote: »

The difference is we are having the party 2 days after the wedding so in a way we are spreading it to 3 days

We will more or less have 3 days too as lots will be around the night before the wedding so we expect a bit of a session that night too !

Salvation Tambourine

A lot of people are giving out about the music at weddings, there's obviously a reason that every wedding will play Come on Eileen, because everyone knows it and most people like the song.

What are your alternatives?

My friend hired a DJ but gave a list of songs that he wanted played throughout the night. The order was up to the end DJ, for him to do his job. Is that more to your liking.

Personally, I love the cheesy music at weddings and the awful but fun dancing.

Franz Von Peppercorn

Dayana Massive Poker wrote: »

I suppose it depends how much annual leave you have and how flexible your job is. For single days off like weddings etc I usually just "work from home" rather than use up a days holiday.

You work for the state right?

How can you not be available for a whole day and not get called or texted or emailed?

Shadowstrife

Hard pass on any invite.

Yes, do tell more more about your narcissistic, ego-stroking event congratulating you paying less tax than single people

Heres Johnny

Franz Von Peppercorn wrote: »

Dayana Massive Poker wrote: »

I suppose it depends how much annual leave you have and how flexible your job is. For single days off like weddings etc I usually just "work from home" rather than use up a days holiday.

You work for the state right?

How can you not be available for a whole day and not get called or texted or emailed?

I've done that loads of times for things I wanted to do, usually a Friday.
I'd be contactable alright, have the laptop up to about lunchtime then phone for the afternoon.
Never a problem.

Franz Von Peppercorn

Heres Johnny wrote: »

I've done that loads of times for things I wanted to do, usually a Friday.
I'd be contactable alright, have the laptop up to about lunchtime then phone for the afternoon.
Never a problem.

I don’t really care if you don’t work for the state but it’s not really “working from home” is it.

skylight1987

I think if the food is good , the wine is good and the band are good its going to be great day, I eat, drink then dance all night but a bad meal or a bad band can make the day very long and and dull

Franz Von Peppercorn

Franz Von Peppercorn wrote: »

How can you not be available for a whole day and not get called or texted or emailed?

Did you read the post? I would have email access all day on the phone and would be online for a few hours in the morning keeping an eye on things before the wedding. I never get called, my work correspondence is all over email or pre-organised conf calls (which I would say I'm unavailable for if it clashed with something like this)

Also the nature of people's work varies I have a very good handle on my work so it's very rare I'd get any surprises coming in of a Friday afternoon or what ever.

Working for the state or not has noting to do with it, there would be more than me doing this at weddings I've gone to and it would be a mix of state and private. Not everyone works in rigid work places stuck in old ways of working.

odyssey06

Jamsiek wrote: »

Its actually in Vancouver, Canada in July so the weather should be good.
However we have tents on standby in case they are needed.

You are lucky it's July... Vancouver is Canada's third most rainy city, with over 161 rainy days per year! Not much different to Dublin...

Franz Von Peppercorn

Dayana Massive Poker wrote: »

Did you read the post? I would have email access all day on the phone and would be online for a few hours in the morning keeping an eye on things before the wedding. I never get called, my work correspondence is all over email or pre-organised conf calls (which I would say I'm unavailable for if it clashed with something like this)
Also the nature of people's work varies I have a very good handle on my work so it's very rare I'd get any surprises coming in of a Friday afternoon or what ever.

Working for the state or not has noting to do with it, there would be Moreno than me doing this at weddings I've gone to and it would be a mix of state and private.

You drink at weddings right (clearly you admitted that) ergo you admitted to being drunk for a working day.

Should be a firable offense but this is the Irish State sector.

DEFTLEFTHAND

odyssey06 wrote: »

You are lucky it's July... Vancouver is Canada's third most rainy city, with over 161 rainy days per year! Not much different to Dublin...

Yeah, a good portion of Washington State and southern B.C seem to have a similar climate to Ireland and UK.