Weddings - a terrible day out.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

erica74 wrote: »

But in that scenario there was no mention that either hypothetical person didn't want to attend. If you're friends with someone and want to go to their wedding, then go

You make it sound so simple, but it's not always that easy. Sometimes you don't want to go, but it's simpler to just swallow and get it over with than put up with hurt feelings or awkwardness or whatever.

Graces7

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

I know people involved in the Church and believe me, they would far prefer if couples to whom the sacrament is meaningless didn't partake in it, just using the Church as a pretty and traditional back drop for their 'big day'. The donation goes towards the upkeep of the church, cleaning it, maintaining the organ and the red carpet, heating the church if it's Winter and so on. It's not a profit making exercise.

Thank you for this truth.

Also if you get married in Church you need to attend instruction.

Fred Swanson

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beertons

I much prefer funerals to weddings.

erica74

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

You make it sound so simple, but it's not always that easy. Sometimes you don't want to go, but it's simpler to just swallow and get it over with than put up with hurt feelings or awkwardness or whatever.

It is that simple. There's a whole thread here of people pissed off at having to attend weddings that they didn't want to go to in the first place, just don't go and save yourselves and the couple the money and time and move on.
If you have ever not attended a wedding for any reason, if a friendship or relationship has fallen apart because of it, you're better off without those people in your life anyway.

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

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Kiwi, Aussie, British, American... they're pretty much all binge drinking events in the English speaking world. You have to binge drink to get through it ffs.

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LirW

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich wrote: »

Kiwi, Aussie, British, American... they're pretty much all binge drinking events in the English speaking world. You have to binge drink to get through it ffs.

It's bringe drinking everywhere, in a lot of countries you just don't have to spend 20 grand on it :pac:

_Dara_

erica74 wrote: »

You don't "have to" though.

You kinda do in some cases. If you didn't go to a close friend's wedding, she'd be cool with that? Or your godchild's? Or your favourite sibling's kid's wedding?

People who say "You don't have to go" are technically right, but these kinds of things in reality can cause hurt feelings. When people say "Don't go" for any case, I wonder have they participated in the human race at all. We all know there are cases where you simply can't decline. And there is no point in pretending otherwise. It's a pat forum answer to say "Don't go". It's not rooted in reality.

Conor Bourke

beertons wrote: »

I much prefer funerals to weddings.

A good funeral is better than a bad wedding

erica74

_Dara_ wrote: »

You kinda do in some cases. If you didn't go to a close friend's wedding, she'd be cool with that? Or your godchild's? Or your favourite sibling's kid's wedding?

People who say "You don't have to go" are technically right, but these kinds of things in reality can cause hurt feelings. When people say "Don't go" for any case, I wonder have they participated in the human race at all. We all know there are cases where you simply can't decline. And there is no point in pretending otherwise. It's a pat forum answer to say "Don't go". It's not rooted in reality.

But if you want to go to all of those weddings, then go. Presumably if it was your close friend's wedding you would want to go.

Well I am living in reality and I have just not gone to different weddings down through the years and it wasn't that big a deal. The couple who are getting married really don't give a shite who turns up bar the people who they are really close to and those are all people who probably want to go anyway.

iamwhoiam

Really looking forward to one in the summer . No church , cermony in the hotel . Good fun , family and friends gathered to enjoy celebrating with the couple .

mcgiggles

I think the issue lies in people's unwillingness to realise that *god forbid* some people don't like weddings! Each to their own! But people throwing strops over people not attending their weddings is the height of selfishness. People have their own lives, things going on etc.. Noone will ever give as much of a f*ck about your wedding as you do! People need to be okay with this!! My friend got married about 6 months before me and every decline she got she was raging about! She was also one to say "well they better send a card anyways" and literally count every card and hold it against people if they didn't send a gift! *sigh*
Personally I love weddings! Yes they are an expensive weekend but I am an old fashioned romantic. But in saying that I got married a few months ago, and didn't get all ratty because people declined! No matter what relation/ relationship they have to me/my oh! Life goes on!

Fred Swanson

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theyoungchap

qwerty ui op wrote: »

You'd be surprised how little be people give a toss about what you find important. I know people who took a few hours of work and went for a stroll in the park afterwards. I know a guy who went in his work clothes. I even know a couple who completely forgot about the appointment and had to rearrange.



For the usual big weddings i'd say the exact opposite is true.




They ain't free you know.




Yeah, even those pesky weddings abroad



I'm pointing out a usual scenario how people come under pressure to go. This happens for both male and female.



So a friend spends tens of thousands of euro and 8months to organize their big day and it fine to say, " Nah! I'll give it a miss, something new out on netflix next weekend".

mcgiggles wrote: »

I think the issue lies in people's unwillingness to realise that *god forbid* some people don't like weddings! Each to their own! But people throwing strops over people not attending their weddings is the height of selfishness. People have their own lives, things going on etc.. Noone will ever give as much of a f*ck about your wedding as you do! People need to be okay with this!! My friend got married about 6 months before me and every decline she got she was raging about! She was also one to say "well they better send a card anyways" and literally count every card and hold it against people if they didn't send a gift! *sigh*
Personally I love weddings! Yes they are an expensive weekend but I am an old fashioned romantic. But in saying that I got married a few months ago, and didn't get all ratty because people declined! No matter what relation/ relationship they have to me/my oh! Life goes on!

I've never heard anybody get ratty over people not attending a wedding. Most people couldn't give a toss who attends and who doesn't.

Dakota Dan

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Opened the letter box this morning, and discovered an invite to the wedding of my nephew and his girlfriend. Has put me in bad mood as a result. I’ll have to go, but I’d rather get a 5-fingered prostate exam than attend to be honest. Does anyone actually enjoy Irish weddings?

They take all day. They cost a fortune. The food is nearly always shîte, you end up talking to cousins and other relations you hate, the speeches are always the same, you can’t get too drunk or the extended family will be gossiping about you, you don’t know who you’ll be sitting beside, the music is terrible. Just a really bad day out. The only positive is that there’s a decent chance you’ll get the ride at the end of the night.

When will start having w mature conversation about this? No one wants to go to these dreadful affairs only Bridezilla and her bridesmaids. Fiasco.

With that attitude the only person you'd be riding at the end of the night is yourself😀

c68zapdsm5i1ru

erica74 wrote: »

It is that simple. There's a whole thread here of people pissed off at having to attend weddings that they didn't want to go to in the first place, just don't go and save yourselves and the couple the money and time and move on.
If you have ever not attended a wedding for any reason, if a friendship or relationship has fallen apart because of it, you're better off without those people in your life anyway.

It's not necessarily about friendships falling apart. It's about knowing that you might have really hurt someone's feelings, caused a bit of awkwardness for your parents or something like that. In those scenarios it's sometimes simpler to go to the wedding, than create a difficult situation.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

theyoungchap wrote: »

I've never heard anybody get ratty over people not attending a wedding. Most people couldn't give a toss who attends and who doesn't.

I have!

Zebra3

Graces7 wrote: »

Thank you for this truth.

Also if you get married in Church you need to attend instruction.

Advice on marriage. From a priest.

How appropriate. :rolleyes:

The desperation of people to have their “perfect day”.

whisky_galore

beertons wrote: »

I much prefer funerals to weddings.

Sort of like a funeral...

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

Dakota Dan

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

I have!

Not so Long ago it was the people that didn't get invites that got ratty over it, looks is like it's after going the opposite way now.

homerjay2005

murpho999 wrote: »

you sound very miserable.

Been to foreign weddings and I think Ireland does weddings very well , a real sense of occasion, people dress up well etc. Also, some great venues out there with some very good food offerings.

this..weddings in general are excellent in this country.

splinter65

Hate everything about Irish weddings . The pretension. The egos. The hypocrisy. The one oneupmanship. The fact that all the brides think that their wedding is different, special when in reality it is just a hodge podge of every other wedding the bride and groom went to/saw on a wedding website in the last two years.
No sincerity, crass ( the chocolate fountain, the doves, the empty chair for granny, the photo booth, the ice cream machine etc etc) it’s awful.
I do like wedding pictures funnily enough. Anyone’s, really.
My favourit of all time is George Bush juniors.
Perfect really

Billgirlylegs

theyoungchap wrote: »

I've never heard anybody get ratty over people not attending a wedding. Most people couldn't give a toss who attends and who doesn't.

"Your man's uncle Theyoungchap didn't turn up. wonder what prompted that.
The whole family seemed a bit odd if you ask me"

You have to be joking if you think no one gives a toss or notices absences.
More political intrigue than Jason Bourne could handle.

OldMrBrennan83

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facehugger99

If my safety could be guaranteed, I'd love to attend a traveler wedding.

One where there's a gigantic punch up and the venue gets smashed.

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LirW

I think there is a good bit of truth to the saying "the 2 main things people will remember from a wedding is how the bride looked and the food".

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LirW

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Funnily enough I do, always, everyone. I'd be the one with "ah you remember Mary's mother's best friend wearing that belt?".

But food you need to get right. Never serve the guests crap food and never let them starve. Food keeps the crowd in good spirits. It doesn't have to be fancy Michelin star stuff, nuggets, chips and some garlic bread is fine too. But never let them go hungry, that will give you angry drinkers.

splinter65

Billgirlylegs wrote: »

"Your man's uncle Theyoungchap didn't turn up. wonder what prompted that.
The whole family seemed a bit odd if you ask me"

You have to be joking if you think no one gives a toss or notices absences.
More political intrigue than Jason Bourne could handle.

“Well I always knew Una was jealous of me. She had a tantrum do ya remember the night of the Debs when I showed up with Conor because she’d shifted him at the Saw Doctors gig in Tullamore the night Aoife ended up getting her stomach pumped in A&E. The bitch says she isn’t coming to the wedding now. Just because she’s 20st weight after having the second child. Well **** her I’ll never talk to her again. Bad enough she nearly ruined me hens weekend by refusing to let that stripper grind her in the club in Santa Ponsa. Her husbands a pervvy creep too”.

splinter65

Zebra3 wrote: »

Advice on marriage. From a priest.

How appropriate. :rolleyes:

The desperation of people to have their “perfect day”.

Yes it’s not as if a priest would know anything about marriage.
It’s not as if they actually grew up as part of a family (often a very large family) with parents who are married and brothers and sisters who are married and have kids.
No. Priests fell down out of the sky and haven’t a clue about family life.
Zebra3 scanning active threads on boards to see if there’s anywhere he can squeeze in his never ending not a bit boring one man war on RCC.

mcgiggles

Dakota Dan wrote:

Not so Long ago it was the people that didn't get invites that got ratty over it, looks is like it's after going the opposite way now.

The thing with weddings - people will ALWAYS find something to complain about!

Patww79 wrote:

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Me either and we must have had minimum 4 a year the last 5 years!

LirW wrote:

I think there is a good bit of truth to the saying "the 2 main things people will remember from a wedding is how the bride looked and the food".

Lol I always say people will only remember the food and the band!

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meeeeh

LirW wrote: »

I think there is a good bit of truth to the saying "the 2 main things people will remember from a wedding is how the bride looked and the food".

In fairness at some stage one white dress is just like another. I always remember the food and wine. I especially remember if wine glasses are not topped up properly. I'm not a big drinker but you need decent wine with food.

facehugger99

LirW wrote: »

I think there is a good bit of truth to the saying "the 2 main things people will remember from a wedding is how the bride looked and the food".

Most men will be lucky to remember she was wearing a white dress.

Food and the music are the two main things.

splinter65

[quote="qwerty



So a friend spends tens of thousands of euro and 8months to organize their big day and it fine to say, " Nah! I'll give it a miss, something new out on netflix next weekend".[/quote]

Honestly. If someone I’m fond of spends thousands of pounds and a huge amount of time organizing a day out then that is a desicion that he/she made of their own free will and I wish them a lovely wedding but I don’t want to go/can’t really afford to go... tell me why I have to go?

LirW

meeeeh wrote: »

In fairness at some stage one white dress is just like another. I always remember the food and wine. I especially remember if wine glasses are not topped up properly. I'm not a big drinker but you need decent wine with food.

Ah dear, that's gonna be a tough one for me, I'm not drinking and the man isn't a wine person, if we pick wine with the food the most I can do is "the white one that is the cheapest!". No clue about wine whatsoever.

Food is crucial though, I've been to a wedding years ago that had massive catering problems and instead of 6 food was served at 8. Everyone was drunk and starving, that's a really bad combo.

Also have been to a drink reception in the Bison bar, they have a small function room with private bar. The staff told the couple afterwards that they sold a good number of meals during their drink reception to guests, simply because people didn't want to wait until the normal dinner (and because it's bison and their pulled pork sandwich is divine).
Food literally makes or breaks a wedding.

Steve F

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:D:D:D

splinter65

meeeeh wrote: »

In fairness at some stage one white dress is just like another. I always remember the food and wine. I especially remember if wine glasses are not topped up properly. I'm not a big drinker but you need decent wine with food.

All the brides look pretty much the same as one another. All beautiful but it’s all a blurgh of white/ivory/cream in the end.

Zebra3

Zebra3 wrote: »

Advice on marriage. From a priest.

How appropriate. :rolleyes:

The desperation of people to have their “perfect day”.

Pre-marriage courses are not hosted by priests. The courses are given by lay people most of whom are married.

Zebra3

splinter65 wrote: »

Yes it’s not as if a priest would know anything about marriage.
It’s not as if they actually grew up as part of a family (often a very large family) with parents who are married and brothers and sisters who are married and have kids.
No. Priests fell down out of the sky and haven’t a clue about family life.
Zebra3 scanning active threads on boards to see if there’s anywhere he can squeeze in his never ending not a bit boring one man war on RCC.

So they are experts in long-term relationships despite (usually) never having been in one?

I might get that IT worker in to fix the short circuit upstairs later.

splinter65

....... wrote: »

It wasnt family life the poster referred to - it was marriage.

There is a huge difference between observing other peoples marriages and experiencing being in a marriage.

I genuinely cant see how a priest would have a clue about being in a marriage unless he had be married before he joined the priesthood.

Grew up in a house with married parents for 18+ Years , probably married aunts uncles grandparents neighbors friends brothers sisters etc, will have experienced deaths and separations and divorces and rows etc within and would have no observations about marriage?

thecretinhop

I had a bride tell me that below a hundred guests is a loss. 150 is break even. 180 is a small profit. If you want to pay a bit of the house off 250. I was speechless...
Yes a lot of weddings are muck. I enjoy watching especially at a country wedding watching the redneck rampage as the single guy or girl all dressed up and smart at 1pm staggering about with soiled shirt and tie on there head drunkenly mumbling i need to get some feckin hole!! While sweet caroline is playing in the background...

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splinter65

Zebra3 wrote: »

So they are experts in long-term relationships despite (usually) never having been in one?

I might get that IT worker in to fix the short circuit upstairs later.

So only married people are allowed to comment on family life? I’m a bit surprised at you Zebra, that’s a bit narrow minded for you, I’d have thought you’d be all on board with the idea that families come in all shapes and sizes.
Just proves you shouldn’t make assumptions .

Zebra3

....... wrote: »

So tell me Father, what should I do when I ask her to try a new sexual position and she isnt into it?

“Well my dad used to batter my mother, so.....”

OldMrBrennan83

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splinter65

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So tell me Father, what should I do when I ask her to try a new sexual position and she isnt into it?

“Discuss your wants and needs in the bedroom like resoectfull loving adults?”
I suppose would be the answer.
How do you think a married couple giving the marriage preparation course would answer that.
You do know that there’s always a married person co chairing the marriage preparation courses, don’t you?

meeeeh

I know a few priests who have better family life than some people they are marrying.

Anyway pre wedding courses are usually run by smug married volunteers. I bet the priest doing it would be a lot shorter and less annoying.