Weddings - a terrible day out.

Spanish Eyes

I think (personally) that if the middle bit was cut out completely it would be tolerable.

You know, the bit between the end of the ceremony and the dinner. The hours of hanging around starving waiting for B+G to finish the photos. OMG that has to be the worst. And it's usually when stuck in some out of the way venue where you can't even drop in the local hostillery for an hour or two and have a bit of craic, no... you (well ladies) have to stand around in heels on damp grass and sip a prosecco with a ritz cracker and a half a teaspoon of pate to keep you going. I absolutely hate that bit, adds hours to the day.

Anyway I wish someone would come up with some ideas on that one!

My ideal wedding would be a short registry office or on site ceremony, a short (half an hour) drinks thinngy and straight into the meal.

If people weren't so supersticious about the groom seeing you all dressed up before the day, the photos could be taken a few days before. And all that would be left photo wise is the ceremony and the hotel bit. No one notices that as everyone is in the same place.

I know I'm wittering on, but at one wedding a few years ago the B+G were missing for three hours (probably not all photo related who knows!), and I was getting narky and wanted to just fekkin leave!

Anyway, am enjoying the thread. Just goes to show everyone is different, and different people have different expectations, needs and wants.

splinter65

Zebra3 wrote: »

“Well my dad used to batter my mother, so.....”

I knew you had issues in the background...

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Zebra3

splinter65 wrote: »

So only married people are allowed to comment on family life? I’m a bit surprised at you Zebra, that’s a bit narrow minded for you, I’d have thought you’d be all on board with the idea that families come in all shapes and sizes.
Just proves you shouldn’t make assumptions .

No, I never said only married people should comment on family life. But hey why not make things up???

LirW

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OMG YOU CAN'T DO THAT (no, honestly, it's grand, I like that mindset)

facehugger99

meeeeh wrote: »

Anyway pre wedding courses are usually run by smug married volunteers. I bet the priest doing it would be a lot shorter and less annoying.

Smug is the fcukin word for the ones who were at my pre-marriage course.

The whole day was awful.

We had to do role-plays - not the exciting sexy kind either - the situation was that the husband (obviously) was a fcuking slob who kept leaving his dirty socks thrown on the floor and the long-suffering wife had to nag him into submission. I wish I was joking - that was literally the scenario we were expected to act out (in front of about 20 other couples).

We also had a 30 minute module on the human reproductive system complete with biology diagrams of the male and female genitalia.

This was in 2004 BTW - not the '70's.

It was a whole day - 9am until 5pm. I had an absolutely horrific hangover too. We actually had to pay for that day of ****e - what a scam!

JohnnyFlash

Dakota Dan wrote: »

With that attitude the only person you'd be riding at the end of the night is yourself😀

Wow, very sour response. Believe me dude, I’ve no problem with bedding members of the more dangerous sex. Up to the seam of my nutpurse in fanny most weekends.

professore

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

You kind of do though. And you have to give 150 as a gift if you’re single, or 300 if you’re a couple. They are nearly always a complete waste of a day. As I said, the only positive is that there’s a decent chance you’ll chat up a bird later on in the evenings, and retire to the massively overpriced room for a bit of the beast with two backs.

300 quid? Ah ffs I wouldn't give the colour of that.

Fred Swanson

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professore

facehugger99 wrote: »

Smug is the fcukin word for the ones who were at my pre-marriage course.

The whole day was awful.

We had to do role-plays - not the exciting sexy kind either - the situation was that the husband (obviously) was a fcuking slob who kept leaving his dirty socks thrown on the floor and the long-suffering wife had to nag him into submission. I wish I was joking - that was literally the scenario we were expected to act out (in front of about 20 other couples).

We also had a 30 minute module on the human reproductive system complete with biology diagrams of the male and female genitalia.

This was in 2004 BTW - not the '70's.

It was a whole day - 9am until 5pm. I had an absolutely horrific hangover too. We actually had to pay for that day of ****e - what a scam!

What kind of stupid roleplay is that?

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Spanish Eyes

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Hmmm, clever that!

I'd say it's been noticed alright, just no one said anything, but mutter into their prosecco/beer as to how you got away with it. In typical Irish fashion!

facehugger99

professore wrote: »

What kind of stupid roleplay is that?

A stupid one.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

I think (personally) that if the middle bit was cut out completely it would be tolerable.

You know, the bit between the end of the ceremony and the dinner. The hours of hanging around starving waiting for B+G to finish the photos. OMG that has to be the worst. And it's usually when stuck in some out of the way venue where you can't even drop in the local hostillery for an hour or two and have a bit of craic, no... you (well ladies) have to stand around in heels on damp grass and sip a prosecco with a ritz cracker and a half a teaspoon of pate to keep you going. I absolutely hate that bit, adds hours to the day.

Anyway I wish someone would come up with some ideas on that one!

My ideal wedding would be a short registry office or on site ceremony, a short (half an hour) drinks thinngy and straight into the meal.

If people weren't so supersticious about the groom seeing you all dressed up before the day, the photos could be taken a few days before. And all that would be left photo wise is the ceremony and the hotel bit. No one notices that as everyone is in the same place.

I know I'm wittering on, but at one wedding a few years ago the B+G were missing for three hours (probably not all photo related who knows!), and I was getting narky and wanted to just fekkin leave!

Anyway, am enjoying the thread. Just goes to show everyone is different, and different people have different expectations, needs and wants.

Yes, when did this business of the bridal party disappearing for hours to have endless photographs taken, while the guests starve in the bar and try not to drink too much on an empty stomach, start?

My ideal wedding would be ceremony around midday, a few quick photographs followed by a short drinks reception and a nice meal in a restaurant or nice hotel, a couple of speeches, champagne and wedding cake, a bit of chit chat and then the Bride and Groom changing and heading off and everyone free to go at about 6pm.

Spanish Eyes

To be fair I've never had the bottle to slink off the ceremony and the middle bit. Not really possible when wedding is out in the sticks somewhere.

But I do confess that when I bring dear old mother to one of her rapidly departing friends funerals, we just go within ten minutes of the end and mingle outside with the other mourners when they are on the way out. No one knows and job done. Very sorry if that offends, but it works.

LirW

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Hmmm, clever that!

I'd say it's been noticed alright, just no one said anything, but mutter into their prosecco/beer as to how you got away with it. In typical Irish fashion!

The thing is though that if the church is really busy with 150 people you're most likely going to get away with it. The seating is usually pretty chaotic, some arrive very early, some super late, people won't sit together as effect and b&g are too busy and nervous to notice.

Last wedding I went to we brought our tiny baby and I decided to bring her out in the very last second, I was literally sneaking up the aisle when I could already see the bridesmaids in the door and I was somewhat embarrassed (even though there was no big entrance for another 2 minutes). They both had a good laugh when we talked about it later and said they didn't even notice anything.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

To be fair I've never had the bottle to slink off the ceremony and the middle bit. Not really possible when wedding is out in the sticks somewhere.

But I do confess that when I bring dear old mother to one of her rapidly departing friends funerals, we just go within ten minutes of the end and mingle outside with the other mourners when they are on the way out. No one knows and job done. Very sorry if that offends, but it works.

Yes, I've done that, or if I get to see and sympathise with the next of kin before they go into the church and it's not a funeral of someone close to me I will often slip off just after the funeral has started.

I know, from experience, you remember who was there and sympathised with you but you haven't a clue if they were there the entire time.

Steve F

Most recent wedding I was at......
Bowl of soup at 8pm
Followed by 2hrs of speeches before the main course
Not joking either

meeeeh

facehugger99 wrote: »

It was a whole day - 9am until 5pm. I had an absolutely horrific hangover too. We actually had to pay for that day of ****e - what a scam!

You pay Accord but I think the moderators actually bless you with their advice for free or for very little money... you know you'll get the worst type.

Spanish Eyes

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

Yes, when did this business of the bridal party disappearing for hours to have endless photographs taken, while the guests starve in the bar and try not to drink too much on an empty stomach, start?

My ideal wedding would be ceremony around midday, a few quick photographs followed by a short drinks reception and a nice meal in a restaurant or nice hotel, a couple of speeches, champagne and wedding cake, a bit of chit chat and then the Bride and Groom changing and heading off and everyone free to go at about 6pm.

Sounds like my own mam and dad's back in the day. Wedding at eleven o'clock, Groom threw a grushie to the kids at the church, off to a little boarding house type place for a bit of grub. Speeches, cut the cake and everyone gone by 4-5 o'clock.

That was the thing back then.

I wish Retro Weddings like that would become fashionable again!!

Come on you hipsters, start a trend here....

Fred Swanson

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Shemale

Bob Harris wrote: »

Would that be 5 fingers at the same time or one after the other?

He definitely means two hands

erica74

thecretinhop wrote: »

I had a bride tell me that below a hundred guests is a loss. 150 is break even. 180 is a small profit. If you want to pay a bit of the house off 250. I was speechless...
Yes a lot of weddings are muck. I enjoy watching especially at a country wedding watching the redneck rampage as the single guy or girl all dressed up and smart at 1pm staggering about with soiled shirt and tie on there head drunkenly mumbling i need to get some feckin hole!! While sweet caroline is playing in the background...

:pac: we had 20 guests altogether, what would that bride make of us?? :pac:

LirW

erica74 wrote: »

:pac: we had 20 guests altogether, what would that bride make of us?? :pac:

She wouldn't go, that's below her, or if she would, she'd give you a gift according to how glamorous the wedding is, you don't do the whole hundreds of people thingy? Here have 30 quid and 2 McDonald's vouchers :pac:

LirW

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Come on you hipsters, start a trend here....

Our photographer, we get her just for a few hours for the ceremony and the pub afterwards, said that in the cities small weddings are on the rise, she does loads of them and she prefers the small city ones over the more traditional ones because they are a lot more spontaneous.

So there might be hope

Electric Sheep

murpho999 wrote: »

Been to foreign weddings and I think Ireland does weddings very well , a real sense of occasion, people dress up well etc. Also, some great venues out there with some very good food offerings.

I think Irish people always end up looking like they try too hard for weddings - overdressed and over made up.

And I've never been at a wedding in Ireland where the food was good.

Spanish Eyes

Fred Swanson wrote: »

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Indeed there doesn't seem to be now (or since the boom and it's coming back...).

I get the feeling that it's all Facebook and Pinterest and all the rest of it. And at the age when people are getting married and going to many weddings, there are a glut of them within a few years, so the heat is on to be as good as, if not better than the previous ones.

End of the day they are all the same. Formulaic in the extreme.

Should have the food FIRST then the ceremony ha ha. :eek:

Fred Swanson

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splinter65

....... wrote: »

No - I didnt have a catholic wedding so I wouldnt know much about them except what other people tell me and what other people have told me was that it was a priest.

Well there you go.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

LirW wrote: »

Our photographer, we get her just for a few hours for the ceremony and the pub afterwards, said that in the cities small weddings are on the rise, she does loads of them and she prefers the small city ones over the more traditional ones because they are a lot more spontaneous.

So there might be hope

Yay! I'd love to see smaller 1950s style weddings come back into fashion. Even in the 80s and 90s brides still changed into 'Going away' clothes and were seen off by the guests, all standing on the steps of the hotel as the B&G drove away with cans and horseshoes trailing behind them.
It was a lovely end to the wedding. Nowadays the bedraggled bride and stocious groom are usually the last to leave the resident's lounge, still in their wedding gear. It's just not the same.

splinter65

Fred Swanson wrote: »

We didn't even bother with a photographer. We did all our own photos.

3pm in the registry office, all done by 3.15 did the photos and off to the pub for a meal. All done and dusted by 11pm. Was home in bed by midnight.

I just couldn't imagine doing anything more lavish.

I was married at 11 lunch at 1 left for honeymoon at 3.30. Lovely day.
Church wedding incidentally.

Spanish Eyes

Fred Swanson wrote: »

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Why didn't you invite me? That sounds great.

topper75

From reading all this - it appears that polite society in Ireland is anything but.

Are we just a nation of gobdaws with endless notions?

With the money driving it though, it is hard to see how this wedding insanity will ultimately be killed off.

LirW

Fred Swanson wrote: »

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That was the only thing that really mattered to me, not for social media but during my training years a had close work relationships with photographers and I've seen a lot of awful wedding pictures where I genuinely felt sorry for the couple, that's what they have to remember them forever. My mother also has only awful pictures of her wedding days and she's quite upset over it and has none of it put up anywhere.
Could say I'm a bit of a snob there.
I just want to get that one thing right, won't be re-doing that again.

My mom got married when I was around 12, she married in red in the registry office with 10 people and then went to the greek restaurant where they had a table in the outside garden and they got p1ssed there. We went across the street to our apartment and played Playstation.

meeeeh

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

End of the day they are all the same. Formulaic in the extreme.

At least you know what to expect. I don't like the inbetween time and no matter how short it is I think finger food should be provided. But there is nothing worse than couple deciding to have a ceremony that reflects their personality. That's usually the most painful bit.

Spanish Eyes

splinter65 wrote: »

I was married at 11 lunch at 1 left for honeymoon at 3.30. Lovely day.
Church wedding incidentally.

Sounds perfect. Did you have any indigestion or anything :P

erica74

LirW wrote: »

She wouldn't go, that's below her, or if she would, she'd give you a gift according to how glamorous the wedding is, you don't do the whole hundreds of people thingy? Here have 30 quid and 2 McDonald's vouchers :pac:

Yay 30 quid for me and my husband loves McDonald's:cool:
I put our wedding photos up on social media for a few weeks so anyone interested could have a look (found my photographer on boards actually) and someone commented "I can't believe someone wore jeans to your wedding":pac: That was that person's only comment on any of the photos, they were obviously just so appalled that someone would wear the clothes they're comfortable in to a wedding:pac:

OldMrBrennan83

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MOH

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Opened the letter box this morning, and discovered an invite to the wedding of my nephew and his girlfriend. Has put me in bad mood as a result. I’ll have to go, but I’d rather get a 5-fingered prostate exam than attend to be honest. Does anyone actually enjoy Irish weddings?

They take all day. They cost a fortune. The food is nearly always shîte, you end up talking to cousins and other relations you hate, the speeches are always the same, you can’t get too drunk or the extended family will be gossiping about you, you don’t know who you’ll be sitting beside, the music is terrible. Just a really bad day out. The only positive is that there’s a decent chance you’ll get the ride at the end of the night.

When will start having w mature conversation about this? No one wants to go to these dreadful affairs only Bridezilla and her bridesmaids. Fiasco.

Simple idea, turn it down. You'll be saving them both money and the misery of enduring your company. Everyone has a nicer day as a result. Problem solved.

Spanish Eyes

The notion of the B+G changing and then leaving the wedding was hilarious and great fun. Was happening until maybe late 80's/90's or something. I was at a few and the departure of B+G brought much hilarity and slagging and fun.

But that was probably back in the day when there was (supposed to be) no Sex before Marriage at all, so escape to do the deed was paramount (in Private of course somewhere miles away).

Different now so the B+G are stuck in the same hotel with guests for a loooong time. My idea of pure hell.

DEFTLEFTHAND

I'm 29 and have had 2 friends tie the knot over the last year. Both were enjoyable days out, because it wasn't my family I wasn't concerned about getting intoxicated. Met up with loads of old school friends who we hadn't seen in ages.

They only thing I didn't like was that the weddings gave my gf of 9 years ideas, dangerous ideas.

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Heres Johnny

I say no to loads of weddings. Not mad about family weddings so I just don't go most of the time, cousins etc.... Don't start a thread about not wanting to go and then go Anyway!

DEFTLEFTHAND

They certainly do cost an arm and a leg though. Especially when it's a mate.

You don't want to insult them by not giving enough.

smeal

I'm getting very sick of weddings now. We had 6 last year and they just became monotonous. I don't mind weddings where I know the bride and groom and a handful of the other guests really well and I don't have to strike up boring conversations with strangers slumped over the dinner table and answer questions like "what do you do for a living?" or "any holidays planned this year"..

Always hate the bit between the church/ceremony and the food because I find I am ridiculously bored if I don't have a few drinks, If I drink too much then I can't eat the meal and am usually sick later on and If I just sip at drinks then I find by after the big meal of turkey and ham I'm ready for bed and find it hard to keep going for the rest of the evening.

One of the best wedding celebrations I was at was for a school friend who got married out in New York with just a handful of witnesses there. They had a party to celebrate one Saturday night back home at a local hotel but the whole affair was so laid back. Nobody gave a crap what anybody was wearing and the B&G explicitly asked for no gifts on the invite, just our presence. Obviously we threw in a bit of cash in a card but not the usual amount that B&Gs expect. There was a prosecco arrival at 6pm, a nice video was played of their ceremony over in NYC about 6.30pm and then it was followed by a buffet dinner where you could help yourself- lasagne, curries, salads, breads, cheeses. The kind of food you look forward to eating after a few drinks! Then the B&G had arranged for giant board games and fake casino tables with prizes in the evening. Followed by the usual dancing and DJs but everyone was in great form after joining in the games and it was a great way to meet other people!

freshpopcorn

Weddings are fine in my opinion.
If the bride and groom are both from the same area or close enough. They should have their wedding within about reasonable distance.
A couple in my local town invited 200 to the church/meal and 300 to the afters to a wedding which was three hours away. The hotel meant nothing to them just a standard four star hotel. They appeared in the hotels brochure tough the next year.
Clothes, the bride/bridesmaids will always be told they look lovely. Same with guests. You don't have to go out and buy a dress for every wedding. Most people don't really care.
I often see couples saying after wedding that people told them everything was lovely/unique/etc. People say this at all weddings just to be polite.

Arghus

I generally regard weddings as a colossal and expensive pain in the arse, unless they are the wedding of a close friend. Most of them aren't

It's depressing how utterly the same they all are.

Jamsiek

I'm getting married this year
Wedding booked in a botanical garden with beaches all around
Non-religious wedding with families only

Food will be much better as it won't be mass-produced
Outdoor bar at the garden

No church, no pre-wedding course, no prayers unless we want to add them later
Party 2 days later with all our friends in a brewery/pub
The best way to have it in our opinion

Too many people feel pressured into having traditional church weddings IMHO

LirW

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Weddings are fine in my opinion.
If the bride and groom are both from the same area or close enough. They should have their wedding within about reasonable distance.
A couple in my local town invited 200 to the church/meal and 300 to the afters to a wedding which was three hours away. The hotel meant nothing to them just a standard four star hotel. They appeared in the hotels brochure tough the next year.
Clothes, the bride/bridesmaids will always be told they look lovely. Same with guests. You don't have to go out and buy a dress for every wedding. Most people don't really care.
I often see couples saying after wedding that people told them everything was lovely/unique/etc. People say this at all weddings just to be polite.

"When do I know it is the right venue?"
"Oh you'll get the feeling instantly when you step into it!"
It ends up being at the other side of the country, remote and far from every airport, only to reach when you get an ancient maps and collect all the clues, summon a good spirit at sunset to guide you the last bit of the way, but will be refused entrance when you don't bring bars of pure gold with you.