Weddings - a terrible day out.

meeeeh

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

Yes, I imagine a lot of brides start out wanting a smaller, more personal wedding and then get brainwashed by friends or sisters into believing that their wedding will be a disaster if they don't have it in a proper hotel, with a sit down meal, and a loud band, and a burger van for the 'afters' and a photo booth and a load of other gimmicks that might have been unusual and quirky the first time somebody thought of them but not after they've been copied a million and one times.

Is every bride now supposed to be an idiot who is barely able to breathe without others telling them how to do it.

Maybe they just want a photo booth, ice cream van or a big wedding. And not some quirky unique experience.

duffman13

Honeymoons are what it's all about, I'll spend more on my honeymoon than my wedding and that makes me happy, a honeymoon is two or three weeks of luxury, the wedding day will be great but i dont get people borrowing for a wedding and spending 30k on a day especially when they don't own there home. Like splurging a deposit of a house on a wedding day would break me.

I think the vast majority of people enjoy weddings when

-not too far from home
-not much travelling between church and venue
-Weekend ie Friday or Saturday
-Reasonable price for hotel or easily commutable home
-Good and regular food
-Decent Music
-Plenty of notice

If those boxes are ticked off on the day I usually enjoy the day and have a great time.

flexcon

Just back from Croatia and attended a wedding.


The difference in atmosphere compared to an Irish weddings I have been to is crazy.

I realize the amazing weather had some part to play but everything was better.
1)6 course food menu. Came out on a big shared plate between the table to share each time.
2) Drinks were half the price ( ok this is a bit unfair as it isn't just weddings)
3) The standing up and dancing and clapping and the jut joyfulness is on another level.
4) People don't go to the church. Only close family and a few friends. It takes 30mins max. Not an dreaded hour.


Overall I had my mind blown by this wedding.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

meeeeh wrote: »

Is every bride now supposed to be an idiot who is barely able to breathe without others telling them how to do it.

Maybe they just want a photo booth, ice cream van or a big wedding. And not some quirky unique experience.

Yes some of them do and that's fine. But I've often heard brides say they regret not sticking to their guns re the wedding they wanted and bowing to pressure from others. That's not being an idiot, it's someone who's anxious that people enjoy the day and are bombarded with well meaning but often not great advice from friends and relatives.
It does happen!

TerrorFirmer

Only one I've ever really enjoyed is when a friend got married in Greece - small ceremony with about 30 people, very laid back and genuine and just good relaxing fun. If I ever get married I'd love something like that.

Aurora1966

All up for a proper knees up and day out at weddings, but after reading all this stuff on here I've been converted against them. They really do seem to trouble people..

c68zapdsm5i1ru

duffman13 wrote: »

Honeymoons are what it's all about, I'll spend more on my honeymoon than my wedding and that makes me happy, a honeymoon is two or three weeks of luxury, the wedding day will be great but i dont get people borrowing for a wedding and spending 30k on a day especially when they don't own there home. Like splurging a deposit of a house on a wedding day would break me.

I think the vast majority of people enjoy weddings when

-not too far from home
-not much travelling between church and venue
-Weekend ie Friday or Saturday
-Reasonable price for hotel or easily commutable home
-Good and regular food
-Decent Music
-Plenty of notice

If those boxes are ticked off on the day I usually enjoy the day and have a great time.

Agreed except, as well as decent music, could we add 'not too loud' music so that people like me, who have two left feet. can sit back and enjoy chatting to friends over a few drinks while others are enjoying the dancefloor.

duffman13

flexcon wrote: »

Just back from Croatia and attended a wedding.


The difference in atmosphere compared to an Irish weddings I have been to is crazy.

I realize the amazing weather had some part to play but everything was better.
1)6 course food menu. Came out on a big shared plate between the table to share each time.
2) Drinks were half the price ( ok this is a bit unfair as it isn't just weddings)
3) The standing up and dancing and clapping and the jut joyfulness is on another level.
4) People don't go to the church. Only close family and a few friends. It takes 30mins max. Not an dreaded hour.


Overall I had my mind blown by this wedding.

Had similar experience at a wedding, my friend was marrying a Pacific islander, absolutely brilliant craic, really different experience but do you know what people enjoy most about it? The novelty! I've a wedding in Poland next year im looking forward to aswell but again this is mainly cause it'll be interesting to see a different take on it.

I know if I went to ten of those kinds of weddings aswell it would probably start to feel formulaic

duffman13

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

Agreed except, as well as decent music, could we add 'not too loud' music so that people like me, who have two left feet. can sit back and enjoy chatting to friends over a few drinks while others are enjoying the dancefloor.

agreed, most bands have that sorted now I think/hope though!

The one thing that does annoy me is that people rarely criticise suppliers aswell. When researching and you look at weddings online and the like, everyone is reviewed 5 out of 5, no one ever criticises their own wedding which i find bizarre! Your paying a wedge, there is no way every supplier you had on the day was perfect

Jamsiek

LirW wrote: »

Another thing outside of the city is that the popular venues, especially in the peak season and on weekends require a very high minimum number number of guests (between 80 and 100).
So if you want to book one of the hotels that do all in service you can't really have a small wedding with let's say 50 people. You might get away with it if you're doing it in a Tuesday on January if you negotiate well but generally it really limits your option.
The remaining options are: Go to Dublin, pick one of the venue that focus on small parties (they're horrifyingly expensive) and you often have to order a separate caterer or do it very low key in a local function room and sort out all the suppliers yourself.

When we started looking around we estimated 50 people max in the wider area where we live and boy, was I surprised how limited all in options were, so we scrapped numbers and went to Dublin.

Another option would be to scrap the hotel idea. No need for a hotel for a small gathering IMO.

I’m getting marrried in July and the whole thing is outdoors for family only. We have caterers and servers coming to the venue which is in a garden.

We have a party for our friends 2 days later in a brewery pub.

GoneHome

Jamsiek wrote: »

the whole thing is outdoors

In Ireland??? What about the rain???

c68zapdsm5i1ru

duffman13 wrote: »

agreed, most bands have that sorted now I think/hope though!

The one thing that does annoy me is that people rarely criticise suppliers aswell. When researching and you look at weddings online and the like, everyone is reviewed 5 out of 5, no one ever criticises their own wedding which i find bizarre! Your paying a wedge, there is no way every supplier you had on the day was perfect

I think that proves how many B&Gs are determined to believe that their wedding was the best ever, nothing went wrong, and everyone had a brilliant time.

Understandable I suppose. After all the stress and emotion that's gone into the day they don't want to believe that the beef was tough, the ice cream van wasn't properly staffed and guests had to queue for forty minutes, the table centres were a bit bedraggled looking or whatever.

Steve F

duffman13 wrote: »

agreed, most bands have that sorted now I think/hope though!

The one thing that does annoy me is that people rarely criticise suppliers aswell. When researching and you look at weddings online and the like, everyone is reviewed 5 out of 5, no one ever criticises their own wedding which i find bizarre! Your paying a wedge, there is no way every supplier you had on the day was perfect

Because they feel it would somehow reflect badly on them,that the day wasn't "PERFECT"
Pure nonsense of course

WHIP IT!

Always surprises me how much people find weddings a chore (as in, attending those of friends)... I love a good wedding! You generally get to spend a day with people who never get to be in a room together, having the craic, getting fed and a few beers... I'm all for it

LirW

Jamsiek wrote: »

Another option would be to scrap the hotel idea. No need for a hotel for a small gathering IMO.

I’m getting marrried in July and the whole thing is outdoors for family only. We have caterers and servers coming to the venue which is in a garden.

We have a party for our friends 2 days later in a brewery pub.

My part of the family travels in, 2 people having mobility issues so on-site or closest as possible would have been a crucial thing.

But for real, outside in Ireland with the weather? I mean fair play, I wouldn't have the balls and if it's any kind of Marquee, which I find beautiful, couldn't justify the money for it personally.

_Dara_

duffman13 wrote: »

Had similar experience at a wedding, my friend was marrying a Pacific islander, absolutely brilliant craic, really different experience but do you know what people enjoy most about it? The novelty! I've a wedding in Poland next year im looking forward to aswell but again this is mainly cause it'll be interesting to see a different take on it.

I know if I went to ten of those kinds of weddings aswell it would probably start to feel formulaic

Exactly! If you’re Croatian, it’s just as boring.

Leaving all else aside I really can't see how people can describe weddings as boring. You basically have access to a bar from early afternoon until 4 or 5am there is no event that would be boring in these circumstances never mind a wedding where there is loads going on, friends to catch up with and just a general good feeling about the day.

LirW

Dayana Massive Poker wrote: »

Leaving all else aside I really can't see how people can describe weddings as boring. You basically have access to a bar from early afternoon until 4 or 5am there is no event that would be boring in these circumstances never mind a wedding where there is loads going on, friends to catch up with and just a general good feeling about the day.

Yeah but not everyone is a mad drinker like yourself :pac:

_Dara_

Dayana Massive Poker wrote: »

Leaving all else aside I really can't see how people can describe weddings as boring. You basically have access to a bar from early afternoon until 4 or 5am there is no event that would be boring in these circumstances never mind a wedding where there is loads going on, friends to catch up with and just a general good feeling about the day.

So... drinking heavily. Yeah, that’s boring and messy to me. I was in the resident’s bar at wedding recently and I was sober. The state of people in there. It was messy. And kinda downbeat because people were so worse for wear.

splinter65

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

Yes, I imagine a lot of brides start out wanting a smaller, more personal wedding and then get brainwashed by friends or sisters into believing that their wedding will be a disaster if they don't have it in a proper hotel, with a sit down meal, and a loud band, and a burger van for the 'afters' and a photo booth and a load of other gimmicks that might have been unusual and quirky the first time somebody thought of them but not after they've been copied a million and one times.

Not so much any more but over on the weddings forum you would see an innocent thread started by someone who was planning a very simple affair with no frills for a small crowd and simply looking for a venue with a private room they could hire till 7pm just a bar and a buffet no music etc.
The first few responses would be helpful but then you’d get “well at least get buttonholes” “ make your own buttonholes and a bouquet” “get someone to put your playlist on their iPod and get speakers and play it” “put disposable cameras on the table so you’ll at least have some pictures” “don’t dress casual or you’ll be sorry afterwards. Everyone deserves to look special on their wedding day. There’s a kooky wedding dress shop in temple bar ...”

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Dayana Massive Poker wrote: »

Leaving all else aside I really can't see how people can describe weddings as boring. You basically have access to a bar from early afternoon until 4 or 5am there is no event that would be boring in these circumstances never mind a wedding where there is loads going on, friends to catch up with and just a general good feeling about the day.

Yeah, that's probably what a lot of brides and grooms tell themselves. If I wanted to drink from early afternoon until the small hours of the following morning there is nothing to stop me doing that at home. But I don't want to.

hynesie08

Dayana Massive Poker wrote: »

Leaving all else aside I really can't see how people can describe weddings as boring. You basically have access to a bar from early afternoon until 4 or 5am there is no event that would be boring in these circumstances never mind a wedding where there is loads going on, friends to catch up with and just a general good feeling about the day.

Because boring people with 15 pints in them are still boring......

splinter65

Dayana Massive Poker wrote: »

Leaving all else aside I really can't see how people can describe weddings as boring. You basically have access to a bar from early afternoon until 4 or 5am there is no event that would be boring in these circumstances never mind a wedding where there is loads going on, friends to catch up with and just a general good feeling about the day.

Drinking from early afternoon till 5am is my definition of boring.

Electric Sheep

Dayana Massive Poker wrote: »

Leaving all else aside I really can't see how people can describe weddings as boring. You basically have access to a bar from early afternoon until 4 or 5am there is no event that would be boring in these circumstances never mind a wedding where there is loads going on, friends to catch up with and just a general good feeling about the day.

The problem may be how extremely boring many people become after hours of access to that bar, while believing they are becoming more and more fascinating and witty.

spurshero

rawn wrote: »

This!! There was something on the Spin103.8. Facebook page recently about some woman who lost her house due to the debt racked up from attending weddings, because it would be a social "faux pas" not to attend.

Just let that sink in for a moment...

U really believe this ????

LirW

splinter65 wrote: »

Not so much any more but over on the weddings forum you would see an innocent thread started by someone who was planning a very simple affair with no frills for a small crowd and simply looking for a venue with a private room they could hire till 7pm just a bar and a buffet no music etc.
The first few responses would be helpful but then you’d get “well at least get buttonholes” “ make your own buttonholes and a bouquet” “get someone to put your playlist on their iPod and get speakers and play it” “put disposable cameras on the table so you’ll at least have some pictures” “don’t dress casual or you’ll be sorry afterwards. Everyone deserves to look special on their wedding day. There’s a kooky wedding dress shop in temple bar ...”

The key thing is while there are plenty of couples that genuinely want the fuss and the spotlight, there is an equal amount of couples absolutely hating it.
Both can't win really. The one's wanting their fairytale day are labelled as crazy and pretentious, I don't see the problem in it as long as they can afford it, they can have the day that makes them happy.
If someone fussless wants a nice day with just a meal and having a chat with their close ones, they'll regret it because that's "not a real wedding".

When people that aren't fond of fuss and ott affairs are invited to them they will of course not enjoy it as much. And the other way around, people living for it will be very underwhelmed at low-key weddings. I'd count myself to the first kind, I just can't help it.
And weddings are a lottery, I always try going in with an open mind and there are some I really enjoyed and some that were too much/too big for my taste.
I know it's not about me and the couple can celebrate the way they want but I think I'm well within my right having an opinion about the day afterwards.

_Dara_

hynesie08 wrote: »

Because boring people with 15 pints in them are still boring......

Lol, indeed. Only with added drunken repetition. Yay.

Snickers Man

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Opened the letter box this morning, and discovered an invite to the wedding of my nephew and his girlfriend. Has put me in bad mood as a result. I’ll have to go, but I’d rather get a 5-fingered prostate exam than attend to be honest. Does anyone actually enjoy Irish weddings?

What a misery!

Sounds like you could do with the services of John Cleese's "little man from Fulham"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sgkr4L6HVGE

theyoungchap

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

The problem though is that some weddings now make huge demands of the guests in terms of time, money and convenience. So really people are entitled to comment if they find those weddings a bit of a trial. I am more than happy for Bob and Sarah to get married in the middle of nowhere and to spend 3 hours being photographed in front of the lake and so on. But if there's pressure on me to attend, using up 3 days annual leave, spending hundreds of euro, and hanging around bored on one of my precious days off work, then I think I am entitled to have a view.

3 days leave.....were they getting married on Wednesday? Nobody puts pressure on you to use 3 days leave (you could have went after work), spend hundreds of euro (drink the wine with dinner, gift is up to you), hang around bored (go home then).

I'm intrigued how there was pressure for 3 days leave!!!

theyoungchap

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

It can be a lot more than 3 days if the wedding is abroad. Even in Ireland a wedding midweek a four hour drive away can necessitate travelling over the day before, staying the day of the wedding, and travelling back the next day, so three days in all.
And yes, I have often been left hanging around for three hours waiting for food. It's not that people want the bride and groom to stop having photos taken so they can come back and entertain their guests. It's that the meal can't start until they're back and people are starving.
No one is whinging. We are taking part in a discussion about modern weddings and some of the newer elements that we don't like because of the cost and inconvencience they put guests to.

There is nowhere in Ireland that can't be got to the morning of the wedding......or late the night before.......taking 3 days off work is just giving yourself something to complain about in my view.....unless the wedding is at 10am which would probably give you something else to complain about!

splinter65

splinter65 wrote: »

Drinking from early afternoon till 5am is my definition of boring.

Fair enough, its pretty close to my idea of a perfect day. Especially when its often followed by starting on the beer again the next morning/early afternoon and having another day of it for the second day of the wedding

Bigbagofcans

Made worse if they get married on a weekday and you have to take time off work.

I have 20 days leave a year - I'd rather not use one of them on someone else's wedding.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

theyoungchap wrote: »

3 days leave.....were they getting married on Wednesday? Nobody puts pressure on you to use 3 days leave (you could have went after work), spend hundreds of euro (drink the wine with dinner, gift is up to you), hang around bored (go home then).

I'm intrigued how there was pressure for 3 days leave!!!

Because if you're travelling from your homeplace to a venue four hours drive away you need to travel down the day before the wedding, or get up at the crack of dawn on the day of the wedding. Likewise, if you're attending the wedding you're not really going to face a four hour drive home. Therefore you need to take the Tues, Wed and Thurs off.
Are you seriously suggesting that guests should announce, before the meal, that they're bored with the wait and are heading off home now?

The hundreds of euro is the cost of overnight stay, petrol, gift, buying your round of drinks, an outfit for the wedding and so on.

Meadow Freezing Newsman

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

Because if you're travelling from your homeplace to a venue four hours drive away you need to travel down the day before the wedding, or get up at the crack of dawn on the day of the wedding. Likewise, if you're attending the wedding you're not really going to face a four hour drive home. Therefore you need to take the Tues, Wed and Thurs off.
Are you seriously suggesting that guests should announce, before the meal, that they're bored with the wait and are heading off home now?

Why do you need to take the Tuesday off? Just drive down after work on Tuesday. The earliest mass is usually around 1pm so even driving the day before would only mean leaving around 9am if its a 4 hour drive and 4 hours is a rarity in Ireland.

That being said I do agree that its mad having mid week weddings. They should be either Friday or Saturday.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Dayana Massive Poker wrote: »

Why do you need to take the Tuesday off? Just drive down after work on Tuesday. The earliest mass is usually around 1pm so even driving the day before would only mean leaving around 9am if its a 4 hour drive and 4 hours is a rarity in Ireland.

There is no way I would be able for a four hour drive after a heavy day at work. I wouldn't even attempt it.

Also, it's not just the travel. It's the 'go on, go on' re the next day barbecue or whatever.

Meadow Freezing Newsman

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

There is no way I would be able for a four hour drive after a heavy day at work. I wouldn't even attempt it.

Fair enough most people wouldn't think twice about it though, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest and I regularly do long drives after work.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Dayana Massive Poker wrote: »

Fair enough most people wouldn't think twice about it.

Most people I know would, believe me. Especially driving along unfamiliar country roads after it gets dark.

iamwhoiam

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

There is no way I would be able for a four hour drive after a heavy day at work. I wouldn't even attempt it.

Also, it's not just the travel. It's the 'go on, go on' re the next day barbecue or whatever.

You are determined to make a drama out of the whole wedding !

Captain Obvious

My wife and I planned our wedding around the guests. We avoided every thing we hated about weddings. Lots of parking. Local enough venue. Short civil ceremony on the hotel grounds. Plenty of drinks and food at the reception. Early five course dinner. Nothing fancy. Finger food out early enough. Non-intrusive band. Subsidised rooms. Went very well. Very little stress on all involved. We were pretty proud of it.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

iamwhoiam wrote: »

You are determined to make a drama out of the whole wedding !

No, I'm not. I'm talking about the kind of situations that make certain weddings inconvenient for guests.

The local venue isn't always possible for everyone though. If the bride is from one side of the country and the groom from the other there is no avoiding the fact that the grooms guests will have to travel.

WHIP IT!

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

Most people I know would, believe me. Especially driving along unfamiliar country roads after it gets dark.

have you considered, ye know.... turning down the invitation?? :rolleyes:

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Dayana Massive Poker wrote: »

The local venue isn't always possible for everyone though. If the bride is from one side of the country and the groom from the other there is no avoiding the fact that the grooms guests will have to travel.

Yes, it's totally understandable in that situation. I'm talking about scenarios where the B&G pick some random picturesque location, and book the wedding for a weekday because it will be cheaper for themselves.
But obviously if the bride's from Sligo and the groom's from Kerry, one side or the other are going to have to travel.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

WHIP IT! wrote: »

have you considered, ye know.... turning down the invitation?? :rolleyes:

Have you considered, ye know, reading the full thread and the many times this point has been answered. :rolleyes:

WHIP IT!

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

Have you considered, ye know, reading the full thread and the many times this point has been ansered. :rolleyes:

No. No I have not.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

WHIP IT! wrote: »

No. No I have not.

Yeah, I gathered that.

LirW

As long as the location is not absolutely awkward to get to it's grand. Some people always will have to travel, that doesn't bother me really, what bothers me is if it is in some really awkward to get to place and then followed by a reception in some other awkward to get to place.
I get it gives amazing pictures but I don't wanna stay in the car half the day in festive clothes because of them.

theyoungchap

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

Because if you're travelling from your homeplace to a venue four hours drive away you need to travel down the day before the wedding, or get up at the crack of dawn on the day of the wedding. Likewise, if you're attending the wedding you're not really going to face a four hour drive home. Therefore you need to take the Tues, Wed and Thurs off.
Are you seriously suggesting that guests should announce, before the meal, that they're bored with the wait and are heading off home now?

The hundreds of euro is the cost of overnight stay, petrol, gift, buying your round of drinks, an outfit for the wedding and so on.

How early would a wedding need to be and where in Ireland would it need to be that you couldn't drive down the morning of the wedding? You don't have to stay for the BBQ the day after - saying you fall for the "ah go on" is just pathetic. Do you not need a 4th day off in this instance? We never stay for the next day unless it is a family member, and if it is close enough to home (<1hr) one of us drives depending on whose friend it is. You don't even have to stay the night but I suspect the amount of weddings you go to at Mizen Head from Malin is significant by the sounds of it......

I think you are just looking for stuff to complain about champ, everything you have whinged about can be fixed......by yourself.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

This is a discussion about weddings. This isn't the first time you've come on this thread accusing someone who holds a different view to you of 'whinging'.

I've explained my throwaway '3 days' comment several times. Make it 2 days for an Irish wedding and 4 days for a foreign wedding if you prefer. I'm not going to keep analysing it. The point I was making was about weddings being held midweek in awkward locations putting guests to extra inconvenience. You obviously don't have a problem with that, fine. A lot of people do, also fine.

theyoungchap

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

This is a discussion about weddings. This isn't the first time you've come on this thread accusing someone who holds a different view to you of 'whinging'.

I've explained my throwaway '3 days' comment several times. Make it 2 days for an Irish wedding and 4 days for a foreign wedding if you prefer. I'm not going to keep analysing it. The point I was making was about weddings being held midweek in awkward locations putting guests to extra inconvenience. You obviously don't have a problem with that, fine. A lot of people do, also fine.

How many weddings have you attended
1. Midweek (not Friday)
2. In a very inconvenient location (and tell us how far).

I hate Thursday weddings, go to them the morning of the wedding and go home that night. End of. If it is a 4 hour drive away, we will both drive and divide the driving, leaving after dinner. I've been to lots of weddings and only 1 on a Thursday.

There is no expectation to attend a foreign wedding (especially for friends), but if it was a family member, would you not be happy for them instead of complaining about going? I have been to foreign weddings, won't be going to another. But it was on a Saturday, so we flew out Friday and back Sunday. So 1 days leave.