My husband is a fussy eater, I need help

Reati

Patww79 wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Amen to that.

osarusan

cmoidd wrote: »

then later on after story time for our son, he cane to me saying, he felt puky and it was because of me, I didn’t cook anything for him so he had to eat an entire big bag cheese puff...

Being a fussy eater is one thing, but this absolutely pathetic behaviour from anybody over 6 years old.

I know a few fussy eaters, but they know they are fussy, know it's a bit of a pain, and take responsibility for their own food. Him not seeing/caring about that is a problem.

All I can suggest is that you sit down with him and try to work out a set/rotation of meals that he will agree to eat, then stick to it, and get him to stick to it, by pointing out that he agreed to it.

But again, I'd say his failure to realise/acknowledge what a spoiled child he is being is another issue here.

Uncharted

Sounds like a classic example of T.I.M.B.E.R.

Are you familiar with this particular syndrome O.P? It's very prominent in the Irish environment.

Generally doesn't reveal the true depths of the syndrome until the male subject reaches the age of approximately 18/19 and can carry through in extreme cases until mid 30's.

This sounds like a classic example.

It's also known as Typical Irish Mammys Boys Emerge Ruined.

I diagnose a swift kick to the bollox.

Cushie Butterfield

Seems to me that you’ll just have to feed him according to the way he acts. Some good recipes here (just increase portion size):
http://www.heinzbaby.co.uk/recipes.aspx?age=Month_12_to_24

Also make sure he has medical insurance for when he starts to have gastronomic issues as well as other possibly more severe medical issues.

More importantly a good life insurance policy & so as you & children won’t be left destitute when he inevitably dies prematurely.

Best of luck.

beertons

I haven't laughed so much in ages at some of the reply's. Let him do his own cooking is the simple answer. He'll get fed up of popcorn sambo's fairly quickly.

G-Man

I see this is cry for help, for having tolerated this for so long. You need to be more mature, to bake and cook the things you are good at..

Your husband has caused these bad habits to be passed on to your child. Please start doing it right now.

Buy well and be proud, you cook well and pass these habits to your children. Healthy diet is a very important part of long term health.

heretothere

WOW! He sounds so like a nightmare!! It's grand not to like something but he should be coming up with ideas of what he will actually eat!

Alun

What I don't understand is how this didn't come to light early on in the relationship? If I went on a single date with someone who was picky about their food in any way that'd be it over, no questions asked, not to mention the obvious Irish mammy's boy syndrome he's demonstrating.

OP, I bet you make the grocery shopping also? Only buy healthy foods, no cheese puffs, no pizza. Cook for him, let him eat or not.

cmoidd

Thanks @Bigus for your meal suggestions

Hurling Rankings wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Thanks that's reasuring to know, i'm not the problem here, he is. I always blame myself, but maybe i should not!

Peregrinus wrote: »

I suggest maybe telling him that you're going to do a bit of weekly menu planning. You'd appreciate his input

I'll do that, we can plan meal togheter! and then if he doesn't want to eat, he doesn't it, he can starve! you're right!

elbyrneo wrote: »

Show him this thread.

Having said that, if food is just one issue in a dominating relationship I imagine you wouldnt dream of showing him this. In which case maybe you need to consider the bigger picture......

Oh GOD noway on earth i would show him this thread, he would HATE me forever if he reads all of that... he is really self conscious about what people think of him, if he knew he would go mad! i'm sure he doesn't realise how bad his food behaviour is, it became worst slowly at the time, he wasn't always like that!
Maybe i should look at the bigger picture! because he is authoritative in a lots of way, but he wasn't always like that...

dudara wrote: »

I’ll be honest, there’s no way I’d tolerate this. This is the behaviour of a 2 year old toddler, not a grown man who’s about to become a father again. It’s absolutely pathetic behaviour from an adult, and a terrible way to treat his wife. How are you coping with all of this, how does it make you feel?

It does make me feel really bad to be honest, i don't know how i cope with it... things need to change!

wildwillow wrote: »

I bet he doesn't do any housework or tidy up after himself either. What you have here is a spoilt and manipulative man. I think it's a control issue for him, even if he doesn't realise it.

Start by insisting on all meals at a properly set table, with no television or phones. Prepare meals which are nutritious and varied, eat for a set period of time and then clear up. Explain that you want to teach your child proper eating habits and you need him to give good example.

Don't comment if he complains.

Try to set up a new routine before baby arrives, otherwise you will not cope.

Get him to do the shopping using a detailed shopping list based on a weekly menu plan. If he has never cooked he might actually enjoy it if he had some lessons.

Children tend to eat veg if the are involved in growing it. could you have a tiny veg patch and grow some lettuce and scallions and maybe a few herbs.

Get him some multivitamin and mineral tablets as he must be deficient in these as a result of his diet.

You are his wife, not mother or slave. Good luck and hope things change for the better.

No he doesn't do any housework, but he does clean up his plate, when he eats at the table (because i ask him) otherwise he leave everything behind
I'm starting to wonder if i'm his wife or his maid...
But in faireness he does a lot with our child, he plays with him, entertain him, yesterday while i was cooking he gave him his bath (the bathroom was a total mess but he did gave him his bath), he is not all bad, he helps a bit

I tried to make him eat at the table, but he just want to lay down on his sofa with his laptop on his legs! it remind me of one time, he was having a big fat steak with chips and he asked me cut the meat for him because he couldn't eat it laying down I didn't do it OBVIOUSLY so he had to seat up to eat...
I negociated to have lunch at the dinner table together to set an example for our son, but the evening it's a no way, he is too tired, he rather not eat than eat something that has be eaten at the table.

It's what i did yesterday, when he started to complain about his belly hurting, i just ignore him and when to bed...

Doctors room ghost

HOLY ****BALLS.
Achy belly mc cheese puffs needs to seriously get his sh1t together.

Dixie Chick

Are you able to communicate properly with him? So that if ye sat and had a chat about this that it would be just that, and not him having a **** fit ? If so then I would definitely do this, wait til he is fed first though

He needs to be involved with the meal planning if this is how he is going to treat each meal time. If ye sit and draw a list up together of the things he will eat and then make a general plan for the week and promise to stick to it.

My own fella used to be a bit like this, well he would automatically suggest a take away or would shoot down my suggestions so eventually we did have to have a talk about it and I just said that I was trying to be healthy and smart with my money and would always plan my food the day before and if he didn't like what I was having to make other arrangements. So one month he was FLAT broke and looking at what he was spending a day on fast food , a breakfast roll, then a subway, then either chipper or pizza in the evenings, he realised he had spent about €600 on meals. It was an eye opener for him and he now eats whatever I produce and sometimes I will just make something he doesn't like because I like it and he sorts something for himself out.

I think a proper chat and a plan going forward is needed. And if he is not willing to do that, then I think there may be bigger issues.

Dial Hard

I honestly think this thread should be in PI/RI, not Food.

cmoidd wrote: »

But in faireness he does a lot with our child, he plays with him, entertain him, yesterday while i was cooking he gave him his bath (the bathroom was a total mess but he did gave him his bath), he is not all bad, he helps a bit[

That is not "doing a lot with your child", that is doing the absolute bare minimum. It speaks volumes for how skewed your perception is that you even consider this making an effort, tbh.

cmoidd wrote: »

I tried to make him eat at the table, but he just want to lay down on his sofa with his laptop on his legs! it remind me of one time, he was having a big fat steak with chips and he asked me cut the meat for him because he couldn't eat it laying down I didn't do it OBVIOUSLY so he had to seat up to eat...

If this is true then you have issues in your marriage far, far bigger than your husband being a fussy eater.

cursai

I'd say you head is fried with his cheesy demands. He sounds like a little puff.

Doctors room ghost

God help the animal that gave its life to provide that steak when the ungrateful bellyache mccheesepuff couldn’t even be bothered sitting up on the couch to cut it.
Fukn hell

cmoidd

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Is this your son or your husband? It's very childish and manipulative behaviour. I wonder if you would put up with it if your son behaved like that.

Rather than making meals day to day, try getting him tonight down and plan out the food for the week. Get him to say what dinners he likes and agree get him to come with you to do the weekly shop.

He needs to learn about food because it's not fair to expect you to be a mind reader when he can't tell you what he wants. The first thing is he needs to learn about food so he knows what he wants.

oh no if it would be my son, noway i would let him talk to me like that! but in a way my son is the same, if he doesn't eat his dinner, he tries to get junk food after it, and he usually succeed, i'm weak... i need to put them both back on the right track! but i'm so tired of it...

Yes we need to plan meal for the week, hopefully it will help

Minderbinder wrote: »

If the man likes plain food give him plain food.

A lot of Irish people don’t like food covered in sauce and our relationship with food is more practical than the French. Men are very habitual usually and they don’t really like trying new things while women like to try new foods even at the risk of not liking it.

Your husband is working all day and wants to come home to a simple dinner. He doesn’t want to play the gourmet lottery.

I never stop him to eat junk food, if he wants too, i'd never force him to play the "gourmet lottery" with french food, i just need him to tell him what he wants to eat, a lot of time I planned meal and here he is, refusing it because he is not in the mood, i can't help him if doesn't tell me, i'm not mind reader!

theteal wrote: »

Did this place turn into AH? Is this a joke? Has to be.....?

if only...

Triangle wrote: »

You need to not try and change someone who doesn't want to change. I presume you married him cod you loved the person he is, not the person you want him to be.

I never tried to change him, that's not my plan, all i want is for him to be happy and eat what he likes, by telling me, because he doesn't know himself, i was hoping to get few ideas here...

scarepanda wrote: »

By going the take it or leave it route!

He's acting like a toddler, so be prepared for the toddler like tantrums when you stop being his maid.

Do what you would do with an older toddler, sit him down this evening. Explain to him that you would love to cook for him, but from now on if he wants you to cook for him then he eats what's on the menu at the dinner table (and you cook a mixture of your stuff and his, without stressing yourself). And tell him that it's up to him whether he takes it or leaves it after that, but that your only cooking the one meal. And leave it at that. He won't go hungry

You then proceed to have you dinner, and give your actual child the same options. They won't go hungry either.

That's exactly what i should do! and do both at the same time!

Pelvis

cmoidd wrote: »

But in faireness he does a lot with our child, he plays with him, entertain him, yesterday while i was cooking he gave him his bath (the bathroom was a total mess but he did gave him his bath), he is not all bad, he helps a bit

A true father of the year...

OP, you are a doormat in this relationship, you have two children, not one. Read over what you've written, read what other people have written. Do you want your son to be like this?

Sinister Kid

What a selfish ass.

I only quickly read over the thread so apologies if someone has already suggested this but have you asked his mother?
Surely this behavior didn't just start when he married you?

I hope for your sake your kids don't follow in his footsteps!!

Doctors room ghost

If I asked my missus to cut up a steak for me cos I couldn’t be bothered sitting up on a couch I can guarantee she would stab me with said steak knife.id be only a statistic.probably the last mention on rte news aswell.they would drop it in as the funny section before sport and weather.

solerina

I really don't know how you put up with him, he sounds like a spoiled 4 year old. Give him a choice eat this or make your own & stop being his maid !! I definitely couldn't live with a 'child' like your husband seems to be.

Dixie Chick

Sinister Kid wrote: »

What a selfish ass.

I only quickly read over the thread so apologies if someone has already suggested this but have you asked his mother?
Surely this behavior didn't just start when he married you?

I hope for your sake your kids don't follow in his footsteps!!

His mother has passed away

cnocbui

Tell him the truth - that you fear your marriage will not last unless he learns to broaden his culinary tastes. He doesn't have a clue or appreciate how lucky he is.

sbsquarepants

Dixie Chick wrote: »

So one month he was FLAT broke and looking at what he was spending a day on fast food , a breakfast roll, then a subway, then either chipper or pizza in the evenings, he realised he had spent about €600 on meals. It was an eye opener .

Holy shít.

€600 on takeaway food a month - I doubt I spend that in a year!:eek:

Would be quicker and cheaper to just buy a coffin and get it over and done with, no point waiting for the inevitable heart attack to do you in.

Sinister Kid

Dixie Chick wrote: »

His mother has passed away

Probably from the exhaustion of waiting hand & foot on her son.

Dixie Chick

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Holy shít.

€600 on takeaway food a month - I doubt I spend that in a year!:eek:

Would be quicker and cheaper to just buy a coffin and get it over and done with, no point waiting for the inevitable heart attack to do you in.

Yep, it was a shock. Included coffees as well, but still a huge crazy number but if you spend almost €20 a day on stuff it would add up!

It was a huge turning point for him and he eats so much better now and with cop on as well. But he needed a shock big time

kylith

cmoidd wrote: »

oh no if it would be my son, noway i would let him talk to me like that! but in a way my son is the same, if he doesn't eat his dinner, he tries to get junk food after it, and he usually succeed, i'm weak... i need to put them both back on the right track! but i'm so tired of it...

You can't stop a grown man eating junk food, true, but you can stop buying it. Tell him that there is no way you are going to raise your children to eat crap and wind up with heart disease and diabetes. If he wants to eat junk he can go to the shop and get it himself.

You say that he didn't start off like this. What happened there? Did youu pander to him once and after that he kept pushing till you were wrapped around his finger.

My partner is practically vegan and is easier to cater for than this. I recommend getting that famous French temper out and giving him what-for. When I think of the people that would kill for a French chef in their very own home... Mmmm, just thinking of that chicken and potatoes with ham and racelette....

Doctors room ghost wrote: »

If I asked my missus to cut up a steak for me cos I couldn’t be bothered sitting up on a couch I can guarantee she would stab me with said steak knife.id be only a statistic.probably the last mention on rte news aswell.they would drop it in as the funny section before sport and weather.

Aye. The words 'out of your goddam mind' would be the first thing past my lips. He'd want to have had two broken arms.

Sinister Kid

What's going to happen when the new baby comes? There is no way you will be able to keep up this charade with him.

Doctors room ghost

Sinister Kid wrote: »

What's going to happen when the new baby comes? There is no way you will be able to keep up this charade with him.

Bellyache mccheesepuff will probably throw a strop then too and demand that he gets breastfeeding aswell.

sbsquarepants

Doctors room ghost wrote: »

Bellyache mccheesepuff .

Is it just me or would this make a great username?

kylith

Should have used the bellyache as a teaching moment and said to the child ‘this is what happens when you eat rubbish instead of the lovely dinner I made you; you get sick’.

kylith

Should have used the bellyache as a teaching moment and said to the child ‘this is what happens when you eat rubbish instead of the lovely dinner I made you; you get sick’.

Cash_Q

Can't deal with reading 8 pages of this, but omg what are you doing putting up with his childish demands.

My husband is a fussy eater too and I got sick of him turning his nose up at whatever I suggested we cook (together). Now he gets his dinners in the shopping and I get mine and we each look after ourselves. He can make his own breakfast and lunch so can also manage his dinner. He's not a child.

I would just tell your husband to pick up bits in the shop that he prefers to eat, even if it's Micro Chips and frozen ready meals that's his business.

Your comment that he is out working and you should be a 'good wife' is outdated. You are working in the home raising the toddler and I presume you do all the housework just going by your sense of duty with the cooking.

He is an ADULT and can look after his own hunger and nutrition.

Doctors room ghost

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Is it just me or would this make a great username?

We should set up an account for old bellyache mccheesepuff and give him the password.then link him this thread.although the wife would probably have to set up the lap top and bring it into him on the couch he’s that lazy.

cmoidd

Hannibal_Smith wrote: »

It's not fussy eating, it's being difficult. Coming in to you as you're reading your kid a bad time story and telling you he's feeling sick and it's all your fault because he ate a bag of cheese puffs??? Really??
.

No it was after story time

SusanC10 wrote: »

I think your Husband's behaviour is awful and I just couldn't put up with that.
I am a SAHM at the moment and my Husband works long hours plus a commute so I do the cooking Monday-Friday. No way would I continue to cook for him if he behaved like that.

Our Daughter is a fussy eater. She doesn't eat a lot of different foods but worse she may eat something this week and then refuse it the next.
I cook for all of us and put her portion on a plate in front of her. If she eats it great but there is no alternative provided and if she refuses it at a weekend she won't get Dessert. She doesn't have to finish the portion but she does need to make a good effort at it. So we leave it up to her.
If she wants a snack it must be Fruit/Veg/Yogurt.

I would try this approach with your Husband. Put Dinner on the Table in front of him. Offer no alternative. Stop buying Junk Food. See what happens.

I could try this approach for both of them!

Alun wrote: »

What I don't understand is how this didn't come to light early on in the relationship?

He wasn't acting like that when i met him, it just creep in slowly at the time, to this point of no return...

weiland79

Surely the cutting up the steak for him comment is made up?
Did he ask you in jest, perhaps acknowledging his own ridiculousness through humour?

I dont have the writing skills to convey how my wife would react to me if i asked her to cut up my meat ( that kind of sounds rude)

Do you have to stand behind him to make sure he brushes his teeth and cleans behind his ears?

Im sorry for you troubles OP but im delighted i came across this thread this morning its brightened up an otherwise mundane Thursday with pictures of man child.

You should definitely post this in AH, he'd be savaged within an inch of his life and rightly so.

Cocobeans101

I'm afraid that this is nothing to do with food, or food habits. It appears to be your whole way of marriage. The only blame that lies at your door is that you have allowed this behaviour to continue.

He may work during the day but you look after your son and the home. When he comes home from work it's 50/50 down the line. Maybe this is some sort of French thing but you are being treated like a doormat not a partner in a marriage. Take some time and think about the choices you have made and then I suggest you both see a marriage counsellor.

I would not lift a finger in his direction until he did something about this behaviour. Think about what you are teaching your son. Children learn by example. Good luck OP. I don't marriage is something to throw away lightly but how could a person be happy when they have married a man-child.

circadian

I don't mean to come across as offensive but he sounds like an absolute idiot.

He has a person at home, willing to cook dinner. Not chicken nuggets and chips but proper good eating and he turns his nose up at it?

I'll be honest here, and I know this isn't an option, but the behaviour and sense of entitlement coming from someone like that wouldn't wash with me for very long. He'd be out on his arse.

He's gone well beyond the pale in his treatment.

Doctors room ghost

Cocobeans101 wrote: »

I'm afraid that this is nothing to do with food, or food habits. It appears to be your whole way of marriage. The only blame that lies at your door is that you have allowed this behaviour to continue.

He may work during the day but you look after your son and the home. When he comes home from work it's 50/50 down the line. Maybe this is some sort of French thing but you are being treated like a doormat not a partner in a marriage. Take some time and think about the choices you have made and then I suggest you both see a marriage counsellor.

I would not lift a finger in his direction until he did something about this behaviour. Think about what you are teaching your son. Children learn by example. Good luck OP. I don't marriage is something to throw away lightly but how could a person be happy when they have married a man-child.

And she’s pregnant at 7 months or so and bellyache mccheesepuff wants her running around and tending to his needs and cooking him up stuff cos the stuff she cooked wasn’t to his liking.boll1x to all that.he should be doing the cooking for them if he’s around.talk about an ungrateful article.
A swift kick in the stones he wants.

Hannibal_Smith

cmoidd wrote: »

Hannibal_Smith wrote: »

It's not fussy eating, it's being difficult. Coming in to you as you're reading your kid a bad time story and telling you he's feeling sick and it's all your fault because he ate a bag of cheese puffs??? Really??
.

No it was after story time

Ah well....that's alright then (???!!!)

cmoidd

cnocbui wrote: »

Tell him the truth - that you fear your marriage will not last unless he learns to broaden his culinary tastes. He doesn't have a clue or appreciate how lucky he is.

I didn't realise it was that much of big deal, the way i am with him, i know it wasn't right the way he is acting sometimes but should we not cook for our husband? For me it is normal, it's kind of my duties
But by reading all your comment maybe i should be harder on him

Teyla Emmagan

I have to say the not eating at the table thing would drive me mad, never mind the rest of it. He wants something he can eat on the couch and not with the rest of you!?! I wouldn't stand for that at all. I appreciate he might be tired when he comes in from work but meal times are family times.

Day Lewin

@ OP

1. Ask your mother-in-law what kind of food your husband was reared on? Maybe get her recipes? She must have fed him enough to get him to adulthood in a healthy state...find out about his childish favourites. Though clearly she must have indulged his tantrums to a foolish extent. Lord knows, he sounds like a child still.

2. Quit with the fighting over food: do not engage. Never use moral or emotional language about food, and do not let it become a focus of control. Make him a ham sandwich with lettuce every day of his life, then ignore the whole subject, or pretend to. The dinner table should not be a war zone.

3. Healthy families eat together at table, at least once a day. When your new baby is old enough, this will be important. So find something that can be served and enjoyed.

PS Do not sacrifice your marriage over this: find a solution. I presume you like the man outside of this issue!


Best of luck!

Cocobeans101

cmoidd wrote: »

I didn't realise it was that much of big deal, the way i am with him, i know it wasn't right the way he is acting sometimes but should we not cook for our husband? For me it is normal, it's kind of my duties
But by reading all your comment maybe i should be harder on him

When two adults marry, they do not have duties. They pull together to make the marriage work and to help each other as much as possible. Again, this isn't really about the food, you have to argue that he sits at the table, ask him to help with your son, refuse to cut up his meat. Not only is he lazy and ungrateful, he acts like a child.

You are an enabler. This behaviour is not acceptable.

Hannibal_Smith

cmoidd wrote: »

cnocbui wrote: »

Tell him the truth - that you fear your marriage will not last unless he learns to broaden his culinary tastes. He doesn't have a clue or appreciate how lucky he is.

I didn't realise it was that much of big deal, the way i am with him, i know it wasn't right the way he is acting sometimes but should we not cook for our husband? For me it is normal, it's kind of my duties
But by reading all your comment maybe i should be harder on him

All relationships work differently. But at the end of the day, you're here posting about your husband who won't eat what you cook. So it hasn't worked too well. He wont eat what you cook, wont sit at the table and is asking you to cut up his good for him. Soon enough you'll be serving himself and your son cut up steak and chips on the sofa! Other than continuing to 'do your duty' and trying to guess what his delicate palette might enjoy, what can you do, but communicate with him about it?

cmoidd

Doctors room ghost wrote: »

Bellyache mccheesepuff will probably throw a strop then too and demand that he gets breastfeeding aswell.

That's just mean now

He is not a bad husband, he is trying his best...

Cocobeans101

cmoidd wrote: »

That's just mean now

He is not a bad husband, he is trying his best...

I think that post was made in jest.

Your husband is not trying his best. You have admitted that he didn't always behave like this.... So he knows how to behave but has choosen not to.

Doctors room ghost

Day Lewin wrote: »

@ OP

1. Ask your mother-in-law what kind of food your husband was reared on? Maybe get her recipes? She must have fed him enough to get him to adulthood in a healthy state...find out about his childish favourites. Though clearly she must have indulged his tantrums to a foolish extent. Lord knows, he sounds like a child still.

2. Quit with the fighting over food: do not engage. Never use moral or emotional language about food, and do not let it become a focus of control. Make him a ham sandwich with lettuce every day of his life, then ignore the whole subject, or pretend to. The dinner table should not be a war zone.

3. Healthy families eat together at table, at least once a day. When your new baby is old enough, this will be important. So find something that can be served and enjoyed.

PS Do not sacrifice your marriage over this: find a solution. I presume you like the man outside of this issue!


Best of luck!

Or keep it simple and say “howya bellyache mccheesepuff how was your day.thats good my day was fine thank you for asking bellyache mccheesepuff. I see you are finally learning some manners.anyway Dinner is ready.its on the table. If you don’t want it that’s fine. I really couldn’t give a flying fcuk if you never ate another bite in your ungrateful life.and then take a bite of your own dinner and say yum yum while rubbing your stomach.repeat daily

rushfan

Peregrinus wrote:

He has a choice: he can learn to cook the stuff he likes to eat, or he can be dependent on others to cook for him, in which case he gets to eat the stuff they like to cook.

This! Exactly. He. Needs. A. Kick. Up. The. Hole.

kylith

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

I have to say the not eating at the table thing would drive me mad, never mind the rest of it. He wants something he can eat on the couch and not with the rest of you!?! I wouldn't stand for that at all. I appreciate he might be tired when he comes in from work but meal times are family times.

We usually eat on the couch, but I've told Himself that when the baby is born we are moving to the table because I want to foster good eating habits in our child.

muttley-dps

I'm not a fussy eater but while my wife was a SAHM she done all the housework and would try to have dinner ready. No biggie if not and I'd give a hand out and I'd usually prepare kids for bed so she wouldn't have it all on herself.

To arrange herself, she'd some blackboard paint on a portion of the kitchen wall. The day before the weekly shop we'd agree a dinner for every evening and tailor shopping to it. If she wasn't home or dinner not started I can roll up the sleeves and get cracking on the agreed meal.

As others have said - your hubbie on this particular issue needs a swift jolt of reality.