How do you find a one night stand

minikin

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

Text speak is strictly prohibited on Boards.ie. No really, it is.

Text speak? thank god has been short handed to t.g. for decades before ‘portable phones’ were even a twinkle in their dadies eye...

tabby aspreme

trevk wrote: »

Anyone know what events were on in the Annebrook Hotel on the 18th of July 2015 or how the hell I would find out ?
I know she was at an event might help me search thr internet if I could find out what the hell was on that weekend.

The BIFFO "Bright Intelligent Flirty Female from Offaly" conference was on

Tell me how

trevk wrote:

Anyone know what events were on in the Annebrook Hotel on the 18th of July 2015 or how the hell I would find out ?

What did the hotel say when you rang and asked to confirm event listings from the night in question?




Surely this was your first port of call.

jester77

trevk wrote: »

Wife found out wants to know who she was or divorce

Well, she's not going to come forward now :eek:

minikin

O.P. Your wife is just looking for firm evidence so she can wipe you out in the divorce... why would you go searching for a stick for her to beat you with?

Say it was all a fantasy with a lonely sheep farmer transsexual because you respect her too much to do the things you were talking about...

trevk

Tell me how wrote: »

What did the hotel say when you rang and asked to confirm event listings from the night in question?




Surely this was your first port of call.

Didnt think they would answer that question from a random phone call

Mr. Incognito

trevk wrote: »

My wife is a smart woman.

She married a fella banging birds in chippers

Care to rethink that?

Kimbot

trevk wrote: »

Didnt think they would answer that question from a random phone call

Well in fairness the likelyhood of you finding them with the serious lack of information you have provided is slim to none, look your wife wants to know who it was and that was 3 years ago. Tell her you dont even know a name and move on with your life.

trevk

minikin wrote: »

O.P. Your wife is just looking for firm evidence so she can wipe you out in the divorce... why would you go searching for a stick for her to beat you with?

Say it was all a fantasy with a lonely sheep farmer transsexual because you respect her too much to do the things you were talking about...

Nope wife has known since October and has been ridiculously understanding and patient its just ****in with her head that she doesnt know what she looks like.

trevk

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

She married a fella banging birds in chippers

Care to rethink that?

I wasnt always a prick. She also got the truth without any proof.

GT_TDI_150

The fact she felt she had to hit you with the "i know what you did last summer" routine makes me think that either you have form in this area or your buddy is banging your missus, knew of your indiscretion and blurted it out while on the job...

Muahahaha

trevk wrote: »

Nope wife has known since October and has been ridiculously understanding and patient its just ****in with her head that she doesnt know what she looks like.

Thing is why does she need to know what she looks like? It sounds like she is just picking at an old wound. Nothing good can come from her seeing what she looks like. Women can be insecure and what she really needs to hear from you is that the other woman was nowhere as near as good looking as your wife. And that you will never make the same stupid mistake again.

Franz Von Peppercorn

You don’t have to post it here op but did you exchange first names by any chance? Careers?

Or was it just bang bang bang, thank you mam

sbsquarepants

Best thing you can do is trawl facebook and find some god awful munter, a tranny even, if you can find one - tell her it was her and she'll feel sorry for you.
Do not under any circumstances fess up to banging a hottie - wives hate that shít.

GreeBo

Something fishy about this story OP.
Though maybe I just have a chip on my shoulder.
Did she have a salty attitude?
Something about vinegar.

trevk

Franz Von Peppercorn wrote: »

You don’t have to post it here op but did you exchange first names by any chance? Careers?

Or was it just bang bang bang, thank you mam

No details, no names careers nothing.

daheff

trevk wrote: »

She found out by making me believe she knew she had done a fair bit of snooping and I believed her and dropped myself in it.

Deny deny deny

trevk wrote: »

My wife is a smart woman.

Well....you sure don't seem to have the brains in the relationship!

Anyways...any pics of the wife? Is she worth hanging on to or divorcing?


Seriously though. don't show her any pics at all. Tell her it was a once off and ya didnt stop to record the fecking act. Just forget it and get over it or follow through in the divorce.

Minister

trevk wrote: »

No details, no names careers nothing.

Was she desperate ?

AlphabetCards

trevk wrote: »

She found out by making me believe she knew she had done a fair bit of snooping and I believed her and dropped myself in it.

Does that not worry you? Why on earth would someone do that?

Gravelly

Tell your wife the chipper bird was smoking hot and a complete sicko in the sack, and she needs to up her game or you'll be cruising the takeaways again.

sbsquarepants

Tell me how wrote: »

What did the hotel say when you rang and asked to confirm event listings from the night in question?




Surely this was your first port of call.

No help - turns out it was a meeting of nymphomaniacs anonymous

AlphabetCards

Gravelly wrote: »

Tell your wife the chipper bird was smoking hot and a complete sicko in the sack, and she needs to up her game or you'll be cruising the takeaways again.

A complete sicko in the sack... What a phrase!

deletthis

This is fantastic content for a Monday morning. Thanks OP.

Gravelly

AlphabetCards wrote: »

A complete sicko in the sack... What a phrase!

I know - I can be positively Shakespearean when I feel the need.

Hector Savage

How did she find out 3 years later ?

Did you just decide to tell her ?

Mike Guide 69

From a furry burger to a bunny boiler, you've some appetite OP!!!!!!

Roger Hassenforder

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Best thing you can do is trawl facebook and find some god awful munter, a tranny even, if you can find one - tell her it was her and she'll feel sorry for you.
Do not under any circumstances fess up to banging a hottie - wives hate that shít.

I reckon my auld doll would prefer if i banged a stunner than a munter. With a stunner she night think "fair enough, she was fairly hot",
With a moonpig theres no excuse.

Tell me how

I think the lady in question was possibly the OP's wife who was participating in a bit of harmless role play in "picking up a takeaway" but didn't realise her husband was particularly tired and emotional and now she can't believe he didn't remember her.

I'd challenge her on this OP. If she denies it, then you act hurt that SHE doesn't remember.

fxotoole

deletthis wrote: »

This is fantastic content for a Monday morning. Thanks OP.

Indeed. Thread does not dissapoint.

the purple tin

It is better if you don't find her op. Your wife might want to start some sort of vendetta against her and she could get in trouble with the law.

Gravelly

Tell your Mrs that the reason you banged the slag in the chipper was that she looked EXACTLY like your Mrs. Then turn it around and tell her some rigamarole about being lonely and missing her, then turn the screw and blame the whole thing on her, leaving you alone there. Finish off by storming out of the room with a "have you no thought for MY feelings, I feel so used" then run off crying.

Gravelly

the purple tin wrote: »

It is better if you don't find her op. Your wife might want to start some sort of vendetta against her and she could get in trouble with the law.

On the upside, the wife might fancy her and the OP might get some threesome chipper-slut-and-wife action. I'm sure I saw that happen in a movie once.

fxotoole

OP was Chipper Chick hotter than your missus?

Cupcake_Crisis

For a penneys gift card I’ll pretend to be her. If she decks me its a bottle of rum too.

Mr.H

Two words op. Jeremy Kyle. He will help reunite you with chipper chick. He will even throw in a DNA test on your potential kid and a lie detector to prove it all. It is a great day out. They put you up in a hotel and bring you on the show. You'll be on TV. Go for it op. Do it.

Minister

Mr.H wrote: »

Two words op. Jeremy Kyle. He will help reunite you with chipper chick. He will even throw in a DNA test on your potential kid and a lie detector to prove it all. It is a great day out. They put you up in a hotel and bring you on the show. You'll be on TV. Go for it op. Do it.

Sounds utterly chavtastic!! And you will get a slap up Burger King meal as well🤠

AlphabetCards

I bet there's an element of projection going on here from the wife.

This thread is a nice break from reading up on chemistry.

Gravelly

AlphabetCards wrote: »

This thread is a nice break from reading up on chemistry.

Unless you count the chemistry between the OP and random chipper ladies.

Minister

OP, just for clarification........Is the 'wife' to whom you have referred real or imaginary? Thanks

Franz Von Peppercorn

Minister wrote: »

OP, just for clarification........Is the 'wife' to whom you have referred real or imaginary? Thanks

I dint think the thread would make sense if she were imaginary.

Mr.H

Franz Von Peppercorn wrote:

I dint think the thread would make sense if she were imaginary.

To be fair it could be a figment of the ops boredom last night. Potential drink involvement? Of course it could also be true. But sense is not a typical thing in the after hours

cml387

The Annebook hotel is in Mullingar, not in Tullamore. I think you're in the clear.

Squatter

trevk wrote: »

She found out by making me believe she knew she had done a fair bit of snooping and I believed her and dropped myself in it.

In that case, is it reasonable to assume that she's currently reading this thread and chuckling away to herself?

maxwell smart

OP Firstly - can't believe the missus trapped you into telling her about the little frisson with Chipper Chick. That probably isn't now admissible as evidence (but that might be me mixing up my TV law shows).

Anyway....
You have 3 choices:
1. Tell your wife Chipper Chick was so much hotter than her that you couldn't resist. She was slimmer / curvier etc etc. THIS WON'T END WELL
2. Tell your wife Chipper Chick was an oul bag of spanners and that you were drunk and taken advantage of. She was fatter / uglier. THIS ALSO WON'T END WELL
3. Tell your wife Chipper Chick was her doppleganger and that you thought it was some kinky game she was playing. THIS IS YOUR ONLY HOPE.

Basically, you need to apologies, say you were drunk and that she has a free pass to bang someone she works with.

OK?

Minister

cml387 wrote: »

The Annebook hotel is in Mullingar, not in Tullamore. I think you're in the clear.

I just had a look at other posts by OP. Circa three years ago he was living in Mullingar.

Maybe he is still suffering the results of a dodgy burger and nasty curry chip?

Minister

maxwell smart wrote: »

OP Firstly - can't believe the missus trapped you into telling her about the little frisson with Chipper Chick. That probably isn't now admissible as evidence (but that might be me mixing up my TV law shows).

Anyway....
You have 3 choices:
1. Tell your wife Chipper Chick was so much hotter than her that you couldn't resist. She was slimmer / curvier etc etc. THIS WON'T END WELL
2. Tell your wife Chipper Chick was an oul bag of spanners and that you were drunk and taken advantage of. She was fatter / uglier. THIS ALSO WON'T END WELL
3. Tell your wife Chipper Chick was her doppleganger and that you thought it was some kinky game she was playing. THIS IS YOUR ONLY HOPE.

Basically, you need to apologies, say you were drunk and that she has a free pass to bang someone she works with.

OK?

Good post for your 1500th!! Well done

Boom_Bap

Have you tried looking down the back of the couch?

Minister

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Have you tried looking down the back of the couch?

Only took seven pages for that one!!

I thought the exact same thing when I saw the headliner!

I was going to tell him that just go and look for one!

minikin

trevk wrote: »

Nope wife has known since October and has been ridiculously understanding and patient its just ****in with her head that she doesnt know what she looks like.

Photoshop yourself into a photo of a ridiculously supermodelly lady (someone like Anne Doyle) that your wife herself would turn for... she'll completely understand that you had no choice, nature made you do it.

cml387

Minister wrote: »

I just had a look at other posts by OP. Circa three years ago he was living in Mullingar.

Maybe he is still suffering the results of a dodgy burger and nasty curry chip?

Yes I notice that. She was from Tullamore, the minx.