How do you find a one night stand

Cupcake_Crisis

corner of hells wrote: »

Eh ?

I THINK he’s implying that I’m a virgin because I think it’s sleazy to go to a pub to prey on drunk women. Could be wrong though.

corner of hells

NickNickleby wrote: »

I believe its meant to be a chat up line...

I think he's enquiring about some " verginity" , bit like frontage but with no gates.

NickNickleby

corner of hells wrote: »

I think he's enquiring about some " verginity" , bit like frontage but with no gates.

You just KNOW he's coming back to have fun with that response!!!

Paddy_Irishman

corner of hells wrote: »

Eh ?

American Ninja warrior

Registered 29/05/18

Hungry troll

Pat Mustard

american ninja warrior wrote: »

as you have just entered the Pub/Club the girls will be judging you for the first time with beer goggles on
the single girls will see the coupled up friends and want a bit of that
most other men will be drunk/messy after drinking for hours
sober you will appear like George Clooney if you have any game about you
you will have your pick of drunk/horny/desperate women
enjoy

The red-faced savages will flock to you, irresistibly drawn by the Clooneyness of your mystical sobriety. An idiot-proof plan if I ever heard one.

american ninja warrior

Cupcake_Crisis wrote: »

I THINK he’s implying that I’m a virgin because I think it’s sleazy to go to a pub to prey on drunk women. Could be wrong though.

Verging on the fcuking ridiculous, virtue signalling in the extreme
without drink the population of Ireland would collapse

american ninja warrior

Paddy_Irishman wrote: »

American Ninja warrior

Registered 29/05/18

what has my join date got to do with anything?
is here a closed shop, no new posters welcome?

american ninja warrior

Pat Mustard wrote: »

An idiot-proof plan if I ever heard one.

I would not be sure of that, it seems to have perplexed some of the regular posters

Cupcake_Crisis

american ninja warrior wrote: »

Verging on the fcuking ridiculous, virtue signalling in the extreme
without drink the population of Ireland would collapse

Sure it would. No one ever has sex when they’re not loaded.

american ninja warrior

Cupcake_Crisis wrote: »

Sure it would. No one ever has sex when they’re not loaded.

the question was how to find a one night stand.
im not trying to smooth over the woman im standing next to in the supermarket checkout line
different approach would be need there
but for a one night stand, follow the instruction i posted and enjoy success at least 50% of the time
for the perma vergins who know nothing of such things thats very good odds

Cupcake_Crisis

american ninja warrior wrote: »

the question was how to find a one night stand.
im not trying to smooth over the woman im standing next to in the supermarket checkout line
different approach would be need there
but for a one night stand, follow the instruction i posted and enjoy success at least 50% of the time
for the perma vergins who know nothing of such things thats very good odds

Actually, the question was how would the Op find the girl he ALREADY had a one night stand with.

GT_TDI_150

This isnt fun anymore

josip

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean.
So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping.
Love You!"

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.
Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door".
Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said,
"LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"

Cleopatra_

GT_TDI_150 wrote: »

This isnt fun anymore

Yeah I usually reach that point at one stage of the night with a one night stand too.

Paddy_Irishman

american ninja warrior wrote: »

what has my join date got to do with anything?
is here a closed shop, no new posters welcome?

Nothing, much like your reply to the threads question which you've misinterpreted and felt the need to impart juvenile creepy advice.

I'm sure it'll pass you by again and you'll give some sleazy instructions on how you trick women into bed.

Even trolls deserve fodder occasionally.... Munch away lad.

nocoverart

Johnny Dogs wrote: »

Worth a try....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gS9o1FAszdk

A little LTTP and off topic, but I'd love to punch that motherfooker in the face!

bogwarrior

The best one night stand , I pick Friday and just don't sit down , safe out .

fxotoole

Pat Mustard wrote: »

The red-faced savages will flock to you, irresistibly drawn by the Clooneyness of your mystical sobriety. An idiot-proof plan if I ever heard one.

Apt username

Cupcake_Crisis

Anyone else really want to be there when the op eventually finds chipper lady and introduces her to the missus? I’d say it’d be hilarious.

Gravelly

GT_TDI_150 wrote: »

This isnt fun anymore

Bet that's what chipper girl said when she woke up the next morning too.

NickNickleby

Hello ? Anybody?

Where are you OP ? We're on tenterhooks here wondering what's happening with the investigation. (Ok I'M on tenterhooks).

Am almost tempted to ring Joe on your behalf. Put on me falsetto and pretend i'm looking for the barstewerd who tried to get his end away for the price of a spiceburger. THAT'll flush her out. Presumably the REAL honey will ring in to say SHE paid for the spiceburgers. I'll say you work in the HSE and you ripped off me Versatis patches and said they were no good for what I was usin' them for. That'll keep him interested.

looking forward to your reply,
Nick (with an 'N')

BTW, If you DO work for the HSE, probably won't hurt to hang on to a few of those patches anyway.

demanufactured

trevk wrote: »

Nope wife has known since October and has been ridiculously understanding and patient its just ****in with her head that she doesnt know what she looks like.

Why does she care what she looks like?

Gravelly

demanufactured wrote: »

Why does she care what she looks like?

Worried chipper chick is hotter than her, and probably equally worried that chipper chick is an absolute train wreck so she's married to a guy with low standards.

Gwen Cooper

This is a public post on Facebook, so hopefully I'm allowed to link it here.

<snip>

Aparently Emer here had a hen party in that hotel that weekend. Maybe do a little stalking and hope for the best. Even if you don't find The Chipper Lady, you can show this post to your wife to prove that this girl was there at the time and just point at a random person in the background on the pictures. Sorted.

Gravelly

Gwen Cooper wrote: »

This is a public post on Facebook, so hopefully I'm allowed to link it here.

<snip>

Aparently Emer here had a hen party in that hotel that weekend. Maybe do a little stalking and hope for the best. Even if you don't find The Chipper Lady, you can show this post to your wife to prove that this girl was there at the time and just point at a random person in the background on the pictures. Sorted.

A quick scan through her friends list turned up a few likely candidates.
Hope it's not Charleane, her husband looks hard.

Gwen Cooper

Gravelly wrote: »

A quick scan through her friends list turned up a few likely candidates.
Hope it's not Charleane, her husband looks hard.

My guess is Denise the redhead.

Gravelly

Gwen Cooper wrote: »

My guess is Denise the redhead.

She was high up my list too. She has the look of a girl that would share her snackbox.

Gwen Cooper

Gravelly wrote: »

She was high up my list too. She has the look of a girl that would share her snackbox.

And the look of the girl who would have her privates pierced.

Gravelly

Gwen Cooper wrote: »

And the look of the girl who would have her privates pierced.

I had to go back for a second look after you said that.

And yeah.

wexie

The thread that keeps on giving

Hammer89

Gwen Cooper wrote: »

This is a public post on Facebook, so hopefully I'm allowed to link it here.

<snip>

Aparently Emer here had a hen party in that hotel that weekend. Maybe do a little stalking and hope for the best. Even if you don't find The Chipper Lady, you can show this post to your wife to prove that this girl was there at the time and just point at a random person in the background on the pictures. Sorted.

Smart thinking good job.

Gravelly

Reminder to self: Never give Gwen reason to track me down.

wexie

Gravelly wrote: »

Reminder to self: Never give Gwen reason to track me down.

She probably already knows who you are

Gwen Cooper

Gravelly wrote: »

Reminder to self: Never give Gwen reason to track me down.

ha, and my parents always said that doing that forensics course is a waste of time.

Gravelly

wexie wrote: »

She probably already knows who you are

And where exactly I'm pierced

sbsquarepants

Gwen Cooper wrote: »

My guess is Denise the redhead.

Haven't looked at the photos but this is who I'd have chanced my arm with:D

wexie

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Haven't looked at the photos but this is who I'd have chanced my arm with:D

that's what I thought....till I saw the picture...

Gravelly

wexie wrote: »

that's what I thought....till I saw the picture...

Everyone is beautiful at 4am in a chipper.

wexie

Gravelly wrote: »

Everyone is beautiful at 4am in a chipper.

well.....

that is true enough, I'll go open a few beers and try to remember to report back later

sbsquarepants

Especially if they're giving you chips:D

Cupcake_Crisis

Well this thread took a turn....

Gwen Cooper

Gravelly wrote: »

Everyone is beautiful at 4am in a chipper.

I actually find her quite pretty. Plus if she smells like chips and you really have a craving for chips, there’s no question.

7/10 would bang

Katgurl

Right op has vanished and I know this is AH but...

This is a one-way street to divorce. Your wife has got herself into a spin and the demands won't stop at a photo, she will become obsessed -you'll have to contact chipper girl and tell her you're not interested, wife will want to meet her and blah blah blah.

I can't say I'm surprised either. It's bad enough that you cheated on her but the three years of denials, telling her she's crazy, paranoid whatever is actually worse. I'm sure she knew something was up by your reactions the following day. You should have manned up and come clean instead of letting her doubt herself for so long.

Tracking down a photo will not fix anything. Posting here about how amazing and hot your wife is will not make it up to her either.

Your marriage is severely damaged as youve betrayed her and broken the trust but with counselling and hard work you might fix it.

Gravelly

Gwen Cooper wrote: »

I actually find her quite pretty. Plus if she smells like chips and you really have a craving for chips, there’s no question.

7/10 would bang

Shure you'd bang anyone with a whiff of vinegar off 'em.

NickNickleby

Well, 2 strange things happened.

Took a look at that link, and amongst the Friends saw a photo of a skeleton, so was going to nominate it as our Cinders. Came here to see if anyone else had already done so, and they hadn't. Went back, and THAT PRECISE image/friend was gone from the list.

but I remembered it was a Mary, so went back looking for all the Marys. Did you know that if you hover your mouse over the right image, a little info box jumps up and say "1 Mutual Friend". Aaaarghhhhh. Out of there like a light!!

Edit : naturally it was the pretty one.

Gravelly

Katgurl wrote: »

Right op has vanished and I know this is AH but...

This is a one-way street to divorce. Your wife has got herself into a spin and the demands won't stop at a photo, she will become obsessed -you'll have to contact chipper girl and tell her you're not interested, wife will want to meet her and blah blah blah.

I can't say I'm surprised either. It's bad enough that you cheated on her but the three years of denials, telling her she's crazy, paranoid whatever is actually worse. I'm sure she knew something was up by your reactions the following day. You should have manned up and come clean instead of letting her doubt herself for so long.

Tracking down a photo will not fix anything. Posting here about how amazing and hot your wife is will not make it up to her either.

Your marriage is severely damaged as youve betrayed her and broken the trust but with counselling and hard work you might fix it.

Or he could just go with the rip.ie idea.

Problem solved.

King of Kings

Katgurl wrote: »

Right op has vanished and I know this is AH but...

This is a one-way street to divorce. Your wife has got herself into a spin and the demands won't stop at a photo, she will become obsessed -you'll have to contact chipper girl and tell her you're not interested, wife will want to meet her and blah blah blah.

I can't say I'm surprised either. It's bad enough that you cheated on her but the three years of denials, telling her she's crazy, paranoid whatever is actually worse. I'm sure she knew something was up by your reactions the following day. You should have manned up and come clean instead of letting her doubt herself for so long.

Tracking down a photo will not fix anything. Posting here about how amazing and hot your wife is will not make it up to her either.

Your marriage is severely damaged as youve betrayed her and broken the trust but with counselling and hard work you might fix it.

hello captain buzzkill

sbsquarepants

wexie wrote: »

that's what I thought....till I saw the picture...

I'm not on facebook so it won't let me see the lovely Denise.

No point lying though - I defo would!:D

NIMAN

This whole thread has to be a windup, surely?

Cupcake_Crisis

Gravelly wrote: »

Everyone is beautiful at 4am in a chipper.

I must start hanging around chippers at 4am