Now Ye're Talking - to someone who's had an affair

I've had an affair, AMA

Purple Mountain wrote: »

With the growing advances in technology would you be more cautious about leaving a trail?
What I mean is, say geolocation stuff or sat nav, would you be telling the man to clear all his data?
Or even being in public with the other guy and someone else inadvertently photographing you?
Then emails, texts and call logs etc?
How paranoid would you be or in your opinion would that be up to the man to worry about?
Do you have any stories of near misses?

Oh gosh yes, I’d be super cautious. I mean, I was anyway, but this was a fair few years ago, before the smartphone era, but still I was never out in public locally with the first guy, only the time we went away for two nights and that was to a place a few hours drive away. Even at that, I was looking over my shoulder a bit. With the second guy, we were never doing anything inappropriate in public, we were chatting in bars on the work nights but never left a bar together and never went into a hotel room together.

With the way things are now and the ease with which someone can covertly photograph or record someone, it’d be a complete nightmare. I’d certainly be having a chat about location services on the phone and deleting texts etc.

The only near miss I had was in conversation... with one of my friends who knew the second guy, I mentioned that he had said he’d cheated on his wife in the past and she asked me why he had told me that... I passed it off by saying that it was in the context of a conversation about the latest celebrity cheating scandal at the time and that he was a bit drunk when he said it.

I've had an affair, AMA

Hammer89 wrote: »

Was your elective surgical procedure related to the after-effects of losing so much weight?

No, it was for gallstones.

Reati

professore wrote: »

you think single or married women never approach married men? HAHAHAHAHA

I must be ugly as **** or something so, I haven't been approached (that i know of) in 9 years....

Sassygirl1999

I've had an affair, AMA wrote: »

No, it was for gallstones.

this is a very strange AMA, in France you would be just another regular individual, in Ireland you get all this attention
in my experience 70% of married/ltr people under the age 45 have cheated

Conservatory

Sassygirl1999 wrote: »

this is a very strange AMA, in France you would be just another regular individual, in Ireland you get all this attention
in my experience 70% of married/ltr people under the age 45 have cheated

It’s because all the men died in the wars so men were so few culturally they could even have a couple of families on the go and the wife would turn a blind eye just happy that he feeds her and the kids.

Ireland didn’t have that, they had the Catholic Church shamed everyone into thinking sex was a terrible dirty thing

jimmycrackcorm

Sassygirl1999 wrote:

this is a very strange AMA, in France you would be just another regular individual, in Ireland you get all this attention in my experience 70% of married/ltr people under the age 45 have cheated

I think it is more common in Ireland than you realize. Probably also more common for women than men.

irishrebe

I've had an affair, AMA wrote: »

irishrebe wrote: »

Were you never concerned about STIs? Particularly when sleeping with the men you were having the affairs with?

Of course. I used/use condoms with everyone who I was casually involved with, apart from occasionally with one of them. I’ve gone for testing a few times and have always been clear.

They don't protect against everything though (herpes, warts, high risk HPV etc.), and those things  mostly can't be tested for, hence my question.

I've had an affair, AMA

irishrebe wrote: »

They don't protect against everything though (herpes, warts, high risk HPV etc.), and those things  mostly can't be tested for, hence my question.

I know they don’t, but condoms are the best option in terms of protection if you’re going to be sexually active.

irishrebe

I've had an affair, AMA wrote: »

irishrebe wrote: »

They don't protect against everything though (herpes, warts, high risk HPV etc.), and those things  mostly can't be tested for, hence my question.

I know they don’t, but condoms are the best option in terms of protection if you’re going to be sexually active.

Sure, but having multiple partners at the same time (or partners who are themselves sleeping with others) is quite a risk.

Do you ever worry now about the wife of one of the guys finding out and finding you?

Sassygirl1999

Conservatory wrote: »

It’s because all the men died in the wars so men were so few culturally they could even have a couple of families on the go and the wife would turn a blind eye just happy that he feeds her and the kids.

Ireland didn’t have that, they had the Catholic Church shamed everyone into thinking sex was a terrible dirty thing

you seem to think only French men cheat

I've had an affair, AMA

irishrebe wrote: »

Sure, but having multiple partners at the same time (or partners who are themselves sleeping with others) is quite a risk.

Do you ever worry now about the wife of one of the guys finding out and finding you?

1.Probably not all that different to someone who goes out every week/fortnight/month and sleeps with a stranger, in my view.

2. I did in the early days, I think so much time has elapsed now that it’s much less likely. I can never say never, obviously, but there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it now, so I don’t dwell on it too much.

Dial Hard

What weight are you now?

Have you ever run into the first guy since you lost the weight? If not, would you like to, just to rub his face in it a bit?

I've had an affair, AMA

Dial Hard wrote: »

What weight are you now?

Have you ever run into the first guy since you lost the weight? If not, would you like to, just to rub his face in it a bit?

I’d rather not disclose my exact weight, but I’m a comfortable size 12, having once been a size 24.

No, I really would not like to see the first guy again, it wound totally unnerve me.

tickingclock

I've had an affair, AMA wrote: »

I’d rather not disclose my exact weight, but I’m a comfortable size 12, having once been a size 24.

No, I really would not like to see the first guy again, it wound totally unnerve me.

Fair play on the weight loss. Very interesting AMA

LushiousLips

I thoroughly enjoyed this AMA. It helped that she seems like a genuinely nice person with such a lovely writing style.
Best of luck in everything you do OP xx

Boards.ie: Niamh

Thanks to everyone for the genuine questions and interest in this AMA and many thanks to our guest for patiently answering so many questions and in great detail!

I'm closing this one up now, if anyone would like to apply to do one of their own, please PM or email me (niamh@boards.ie) or fill in this form.