When did parents stop parenting?

JustAThought

Discarding children onto greens and public spaces from dawn to dusk is not parenting. As aptly demonstrated in the barren green concorses of Ballymun . Like thousands of others I grew up with no local cinema, nor theatre nor sports staduim /centre and yet knew rules, had boundaries for behaviour and respected others property and rights.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

JustAThought wrote: »

Discarding children onto greens and public spaces from dawn to dusk is not parenting. As aptly demonstrated in the barren green concorses of Ballymun . Like thousands of others I grew up with no local cinema, nor theatre nor sports staduim /centre and yet knew rules, had boundaries for behaviour and respected others property and rights.

I absolutely agree with you and am not defending parents who just turf their kids outside from breakfast until tea time and let them to what they like.

I was really responding to the poster who seemed to be holding up his childhood in Ballymun as some kind of great example, while actually that area had massive social problems, part of it due to the way houses and flats were just thrown up with no corresponding facilities. I think it's a shame that having spent a fortune on, quite rightly, rectifying that the Government continue to allow the creation of new suburbs by private developers that effectively follow the same model.

Akrasia

Buckfast W wrote: »

There's a bit of a difference between children playing outside and children running wild completely unsupervised, these people seem to forget that these communal spaces aren't private playgrounds for there children. There are other residents there that don't have kids. Why should the majority be made suffer by a minority of people??

Children are part of society. You don't get to live in a make believe world full of people exactly like you.

People think they can buy/rent somewhere inside a gated community with no public space and be insulated from the people around them.

Children need to have some freedom and if there aren't suitable places for them to play, they're gonna find somewhere that's not fully suitable and make do with that.

Ipso

JustAThought wrote: »

Discarding children onto greens and public spaces from dawn to dusk is not parenting. As aptly demonstrated in the barren green concorses of Ballymun . Like thousands of others I grew up with no local cinema, nor theatre nor sports staduim /centre and yet knew rules, had boundaries for behaviour and respected others property and rights.

I thought children playing outside was free range parenting and is just like d'good old days when we didn't sit inside and play on our master systems and game boys.

LirW

Ipso wrote: »

I thought children playing outside was free range parenting and is just like d'good old days when we didn't sit inside and play on our master systems and game boys.

Some people are never satisfied with the way children are. They shouldn't be inside because hey they only eat crisps and smear their fatty fingers all over the Xbox controller. But god forbid they're outside kicking a ball around or run around, that's a nuisance and disturbance.

Now I do get that some people are ott and some let their kids run havoc but frankly, I don't see that. It's been a long time I came across a really badly behaved child that didn't know any manners and I come in touch with kids every day of the week.
Same with the parents: On the one hand they are mollycoddling their little precious darlings so much and they literally can't run around on a playground without a helmet and on the other hand they don't give a sh1t and turn a blind eye on their kids. What's the truth now?

I put that thread into the category of people complaining about other people for trivial reasons.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

LirW wrote: »

Some people are never satisfied with the way children are. They shouldn't be inside because hey they only eat crisps and smear their fatty fingers all over the Xbox controller. But god forbid they're outside kicking a ball around or run around, that's a nuisance and disturbance.

Now I do get that some people are ott and some let their kids run havoc but frankly, I don't see that. It's been a long time I came across a really badly behaved child that didn't know any manners and I come in touch with kids every day of the week.
Same with the parents: On the one hand they are mollycoddling their little precious darlings so much and they literally can't run around on a playground without a helmet and on the other hand they don't give a sh1t and turn a blind eye on their kids. What's the truth now?

I put that thread into the category of people complaining about other people for trivial reasons.

I think you're being unfair. Most people on this thread have agreed that the majority of kids are well behaved, and that a lot of problems come from apartment blocks being built with no place for children to run around and play.

There is also a big difference between kids who are out running around and playing freely but also being called in for meals and at a reasonable time in the evening - and kids who are thrown out the door after breakfast and roaming around all day, even after the other kids are gone home for meals, and until 10 or 11 at night with no parent ever checking on them or making sure they're okay and not causing any hassle. Where I live the vast majority of kids don't get treated like this, but there is a small number who seem to be constantly in the middle of any hassle or trouble. That discussion evolved, organically, from the point about Ballymun back in the 80s and was not people just talking for the sake of it.

LirW

Tinley Skinny Self-preservation wrote: »

I think you're being unfair. Most people on this thread have agreed that the majority of kids are well behaved, and that a lot of problems come from apartment blocks being built with no place for children to run around and play.

There is also a big difference between kids who are out running around and playing freely but also being called in for meals and at a reasonable time in the evening - and kids who are thrown out the door after breakfast and roaming around all day, even after the other kids are gone home for meals, and until 10 or 11 at night with no parent ever checking on them or making sure they're okay and not causing any hassle. Where I live the vast majority of kids don't get treated like this, but there is a small number who seem to be constantly in the middle of any hassle or trouble. That discussion evolved, organically, from the point about Ballymun back in the 80s and was not people just talking for the sake of it.

Yeah no I totally get that,I also totally get that a small minority can really ruin it for everyone. And this shouldn't happen. Unfortunately a lot of places where you can rent (or buy) aren't properly equipped for family living but it's 2018, there's a housing crisis, people live literally everywhere where they can get their hands on, especially with children since no landlord really wants you.
Someone mentioned it before, if there isn't adequate space, kids will just make do with what they have.
I think it's difficult to blame families for living in a block and trying to keep the kids quiet but the blame lies in a very unsustainable planning over the last few decades where nobody ever came up with the thought that the space will run out, the population will grow and not everyone can have a 3bed Semi-D anymore and there is a total refusal to plan around the new needs in apartment living.

Do I understand the OP? Oh absolutely, I do, it can be a headmelt. And I feel for them that the parents seem to be very unapproachable. But I believe that the root problem lies somewhere entirely different on a larger scale. D1cks will always be d1cks unfortunately.

Blanchy90

I'm the OP. Just to follow up a bit.

I know most kids can be well behaved and have manners. I have absolutely no problem with children running around making noise and having fun. As I said previously the situation at my apartment was far beyond normal noise from children.

Interestingly my next door neighbors left for their long summer holidays last week and the difference in the rest of the children's behavior is amazing. Clearly that family are an awful influence on the rest of the block. I havn't had to ask anyone to be quiet since they left, I used to have to ask multiple times every evening.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Blanchy90 wrote: »

I'm the OP. Just to follow up a bit.

I know most kids can be well behaved and have manners. I have absolutely no problem with children running around making noise and having fun. As I said previously the situation at my apartment was far beyond normal noise from children.

Interestingly my next door neighbors left for their long summer holidays last week and the difference in the rest of the children's behavior is amazing. Clearly that family are an awful influence on the rest of the block. I havn't had to ask anyone to be quiet since they left, I used to have to ask multiple times every evening.

Yes, I think that's often the case. It's usually a very small number of inadequate or irresponsible parents that cause the problems, and end up creating unnecessary tension and a general feeling of angst when you see a bunch of children out playing near your house and start to think 'oh no, am I going to have more hassle tonight, and balls being kicked against my wall at all hours and kids ringing my doorbell' etc.

Most of the time it's a small number of children giving a general impression of 'the kids are out playing, there's going to be trouble'.

It's not fair on the well behaved children and it's not fair on neighbours to have to put up with the badly behaved children. But it's poor parenting that's at the back of it and, unfortunately, that kind of parent is also usually deaf to appeals or complaints from the neighbours. A definite minority, but a very annoying and inconsiderate one.

imme

These kids should be taken off these people.
They're obviously not parenting.

They'd lose their children's allowance and probably lose their housing benefit and be kicked out.

Win win

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Well, that's a bit extreme. But definitely the minority of parents who are inadequate/irresponsible/inconsiderate should be called out on in more often. But nowadays restaurant staff/management companies/librarians etc are often afraid to say a word because they will draw down the wrath of the indignant parent.