Is my boyfriend lying

MD1985

I am with my partner around a year and a half. He has a child with his ex and they have been finished the last 3 years.
He rang me at the weekend and told me his sister was going to try and destroy our relationship as she said he should be with his ex (his sister and ex are best friends)
She emailed me and said that they are still together and that they are living together.
He swears blind that she is lying and not to believe her... He is in my house 5 out of 7 nights a week so im not sure how this is true... However I have not been to his house as he has a teenager also and she has a problem with her dad having another girlfriend...
He said his family are very dysfunctional and thats just the way it is...
We have been planning on moving in together over the summer and are looking at places to move to.
I am so confused.... Things his sister is saying cannot be factually true. However his stories dont add up either?
Should I just throw the towel in or hold on? I am deeply in love and i saw myself spending the rest of my life with him... Any advice at all?

LegacyUser

I don't get the teenager part....this is different to the child with the ex? And she lives with him full time but he's spending 5 out of 7 nights at yours? Whose minding this teenager while he is at yours?

SusanC10

Have you met either of his Kids? His sister or any if the rest of his family ?

Tbh - all of that would be too much drama for me.

MD1985

Ive met his youngest. Thats it! Said his sisters dont want to meet me as they said it would be to awkward as they are so close to his ex... Ive talked to his dad on the phone as he lives away.
Am I being that naive.... Or is his family just full of drama?

brevity

I know "Run" isn't exactly the best advice but, you know, I think there is an awful lot of drama there and life is hard enough...

Do you see a real future with this person?

MD1985

I did see a future... Now im not so sure...
It shouldnt be this hard after only a year and a half together....

SusanC10

MD1985 wrote: »

Ive met his youngest. Thats it! Said his sisters dont want to meet me as they said it would be to awkward as they are so close to his ex... Ive talked to his dad on the phone as he lives away.
Am I being that naive.... Or is his family just full of drama?

Who does his younger child think you are ? Daddy's Girlfriend? If he is still with his Ex then he would hardly be telling his youngest child that.

Still, I would have serious reservations about continuing.

LegacyUser

MD1985 wrote: »

Ive met his youngest. Thats it! Said his sisters dont want to meet me as they said it would be to awkward as they are so close to his ex... Ive talked to his dad on the phone as he lives away.
Am I being that naive.... Or is his family just full of drama?

OP whose the older child living with? If you can't go to his because he doesn't want that child to meet you but spends 5 nights out of 7 at yours then someone else has to be living there looking after the teenage surely?? Maybe he trusts younger child not to tell you or mammy about the other but knows the teen will blah?

MD1985

can't log in wrote: »

I don't get the teenager part....this is different to the child with the ex? And she lives with him full time but he's spending 5 out of 7 nights at yours? Whose minding this teenager while he is at yours?

She’s 18 from previous partner. He’s a single dad she’s not in the pic

tea and coffee

Doesn't add up. Would his ex not be wondering where he is 5 nights a week if he is in fact living with her?
However on the other hand, his 18 year old must know he has a new partner if he is leaving her alone 5 nights a week ( not ideal!)
If he sees a future he will have to introduce you at some stage!
Tbh, my best guess is that the sister sees that he's getting serious with you and she liked the status quo of her bestie being with her brother and she can't handle the "hassle" of having to divide her loyalties so if she breaks you up she no longer has that issue for herself.

MD1985

Got my answer tonight... he’s been living with her the whole time... not together apparently.
I’ve finished it for good. I deserve better. Thanks for all your responses x

Cash_Q

MD1985 wrote:

Got my answer tonight... he’s been living with her the whole time... not together apparently. I’ve finished it for good. I deserve better. Thanks for all your responses x

Oh my god you poor thing. I have to say well done for walking away, all too often posters seek help with an issue they're in denial about, and even with the best advice and clearest developments, they stay blinkered

You are 100% doing the right thing to finish it. What a low life to treat you and her this way for a year and a half. Chalk it down to experience and look forward to a less stressful future without a liar. Take care.

MiliMe

This exact thing happened to a friend of mine a few years ago. Guy was pretty much living with her, they went on plenty of dates, she stayed over in his house too. They were going out for almost 2 years.
She found out that he was engaged to another girl after he ended up in an accident. Completely blind sided her. What made it worse was they worked together so she had to see him every single day.
I know its a terrible but at least you now know and you can move on with your life, try not to let this guy destroy your faith in future relationships because you deserve more.