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Child’s friends

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  • 10-06-2018 10:25pm
    #1
    harr
    Registered Users Posts: 4,485 ✭✭✭


    So My young lad is 8 and is a quiet little lad more into his art and stuff than playing football and stuff , I suppose a bit of a nerd and is very sensitive.
    Doesn’t bother me it’s his personality and I don’t want to change it.
    But he is being excluded by some of the more outgoing neighborhood kids and is regularly told he can’t join in games and stuff. This upsets him but won’t tell tales and just comes in but I did witness it today and I asked him about it without making a big deal about it, he did explain it happens most days.
    My heart went out to him.
    I did ask one of older girls why and she said he wasn’t very good at playing.
    He has only one sibling (12) who has special needs..he is so caring and kind maybe a bit to much and looks after his big brother without question.
    Seems this has been happening a while without him wanting to tell tales.
    It doesn’t help that most of the children are allowed to play out well past 10 pm even on school nights even the 4 and 5 year olds.
    I feel silly asking for advice as I feel I should know what to do...
    Anybody experiencing similar...

    Thanks


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    #2
    Call me Al
    Registered Users Posts: 3,028 ✭✭✭Call me Al


    Harr , my heart goes out to him. Being a kid can be tough sometimes. Are you familiar with any of the parents of these children? Could you chat with them and see if you could organise more one 2 one time with another child for him?

    It's so tough..I'm going through somewhat similar stuff here, although not quite as direct, and it's the worst feeling in the world.


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    #3
    harr
    Registered Users Posts: 4,485 ✭✭✭harr


    Call me Al wrote: »
    Harr , my heart goes out to him. Being a kid can be tough sometimes. Are you familiar with any of the parents of these children? Could you chat with them and see if you could organise more one 2 one time with another child for him?

    It's so tough..I'm going through somewhat similar stuff here, although not quite as direct, and it's the worst feeling in the world.
    See I don’t want to make a huge issue out of it, all the neighbors are friends and I certainly don’t want the neighbors telling kids they have to include him as I am sure that might make him stand out more..
    He probably is a little to soft and just takes it..but his poor little face and I know he is fighting back the tears...but of course other kids don’t understand this.
    I am trying to figure out if it one individual who is calling the shots..


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    #4
    frash
    Registered Users Posts: 2,570 ✭✭✭frash


    Who lets their 4 year old stay up until 10pm on a school night - never mind playing out until then?

    He might be better off without some of them but I understand it can't be easy on him.
    Could you ask any of the kids in for a play in your garden on a trampoline or something?


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    #5
    s7ryf3925pivug
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,007 ✭✭✭s7ryf3925pivug


    Find a club or something related to an interest of his. More likely to get on with kids there. Be pro-active in facilitating socialization if he makes friends there. The local kids don’t sound like the nicest bunch anyway tbh.


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    #6
    harr
    Registered Users Posts: 4,485 ✭✭✭harr


    frash wrote: »
    Who lets their 4 year old stay up until 10pm on a school night - never mind playing out until then?

    He might be better off without some of them but I understand it can't be easy on him.
    Could you ask any of the kids in for a play in your garden on a trampoline or something?
    You would be surprised how many parents don’t have bed time routines anymore and then they wonder why they can’t get them up ..


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    #7
    harr
    Registered Users Posts: 4,485 ✭✭✭harr


    Annabella Future Falcon wrote: »
    Find a club or something related to an interest of his. More likely to get on with kids there. Be pro-active in facilitating socialization if he makes friends there. The local kids don’t sound like the nicest bunch anyway tbh.[/QUOTE

    He goes to plenty of clubs where in fact he gets on with children with similar interests.. just hard to watch him being isolated because he is that bit more timid and quite..


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    #8
    movingaway1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10 ✭movingaway1


    the estate I live on is the same, all the kids stay out until around 10 and are all allowed go around the street we live on. I don't let my little one that far down the street without me (she's 7) so I make allowances by letting her have school friends over whenever possible!
    the poor little lad, my heart goes out to you, this is hard to watch as a parent.


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