Is 200 enough of a wedding present from a couple?

Dr_serious2

On another thread a poster was saying that 200 was a stingy wedding gift from a couple and that they shouldn't bother going if they are not willing to give much more than that.

Does anyone else think this is nonsense? Anyone who organises a sensible wedding and doesn't spend thousands on chocolate fountains, Baby Bentleys for the page boy, harpists in the lobby, cigar stands, fireworks, free cocktails and personalised napkins will get a good proportion of their outlay back if every couple gave them 200. Anyway, it's not about the money, it's about the love. Supposedly.

KERSPLAT!

€200 is about right for a couple I'd say, I think I gave €150 for the last one I went to. Meh. Whatever you can afford.

bear1

200e seems reasonable to me, should people bankrupt themselves in order to meet the nonsense that is a wedding party?

aoh

It's been a while since I was at a wedding but €200??? FFS. I think I gave them a mirror :-)

Mint Sauce

As a couple, 150 is enough. I give no more that 70 as a single person/guest. Although I only gave 50 up to a couple of years ago, so it could be heading towards 100/200 as a cash gift.

Are Am Eye

aoh wrote: »

It's been a while since I was at a wedding but €200??? FFS. I think I gave them a mirror :-)

Did it reflect badly on you?

Omackeral

aoh wrote: »

It's been a while since I was at a wedding but €200??? FFS. I think I gave them a mirror :-)

That’s a poor reflection on you.

Ah bollox, beaten to it

salmocab

I’d say 200 is about right. That’s what we normally give, also just to say giving less is fine if you don’t have it

Outkast_IRE

€200 for a working couple is the norm around here.



A few years back we were both in college and gave a bit less as we simply couldnt afford anymore.


My wedding is coming up in September and would be delighted at €100 per person. Its a small wedding in a good venue so its more important to me that the people coming enjoy themselves and have a great day.

SEPT 23 1989

Got married a few years ago loads of envelopes flying around like the scene in Goodfellas but our favourite gift was a handmade embroidered framed message that one of her mates who hadn't a pot to p1ss in gave us easy to put cash in an envelope but that took time and it meant a lot

Pelvis

This gift giving ****e for weddings is ridiculous.

Are Am Eye

It's an awful pity that it's treated as an entrance fee.
Or that gifts are de facto covering the cost of the event.
Let's say some people were going through a tough time financially. Should
they turn down a wedding invitation. Because they can't pay their way in.
Would the couple still want them there gift or not. Due to a bond of friendship.

In our house a wedding invite is as welcome as a summons. It really is like a summons if its assumed I'll be handing over 200 quid also.

My go to wedding present is a silver photo frame with the date of the wedding for the bride.

If they don't like it, then don't invite me to wedding #2 if there is one.

SEPT 23 1989

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Got married a few years ago loads of envelopes flying around like the scene in Goodfellas but our favourite gift was a handmade embroidered framed message that one of her mates who hadn't a pot to p1ss in gave us easy to put cash in an envelope but that took time and it meant a lot

That's lovely. It's been years since I was last at a wedding. Myself and boyfriend at the time gave €100. In the unlikely event of me getting married I think I would actually say "no money please just bring yourself".

idnkph

aoh wrote:

It's been a while since I was at a wedding but €200??? FFS. I think I gave them a mirror :-)

Did you want them to take a good look at themselves???

Water John

If you really didn't want presents/cash, you could have an anonomyous donor charity box. Have 2/3 nominated charities.

em_cat

TBH I was simply delighted our friends turned up to our wedding, we got married in 2009 and nearly every single friend guest was either unemployed, on a 3 day week or had moved because of the recession.

200 is crazy money jesus christ

Rubberchikken

When it has reached this level im glad i dont get too msny invites.
We got a 50 pound note from an aunt for our wedding nearly 35 years ago.
Im not kidding when i say id never seen one before.
Think it was the only money we got as a gift all the rest eas stuff ifkwim.
I say give what you genuinely can afford. If a couple are bothered by it then tough. Let them only choose then to 'celebrate their love' with those that can afford large sums.

Canis Lupus

I feel 200 is a reasonable sum.

_Dara_

We give €150 as a couple.

Nettle Soup

Deleted User wrote: »

In our house a wedding invite is as welcome as a summons. It really is like a summons if its assumed I'll be handing over 200 quid also.

I would rather a night in prison more than some of the weddings I had to attend. They can be such an expensive chore.

150-250 for a couple is fine. You're paying for your meal and then some.

Omackeral

bluewolf wrote: »

200 is crazy money jesus christ

Its almost as if people are trying to recoup the money they’ve spent on ridiculously lavish weddings!

fritzelly

Deleted User wrote: »

In our house a wedding invite is as welcome as a summons. It really is like a summons if its assumed I'll be handing over 200 quid also.

Same story here, have to remember who some of these people are when it arrives and invariably the daughter/son or third cousin that I haven't seen in a decade (if at all) and usually on top of that they are in the arse end of nowhere so hotel on top

200 euro is more than enough and I think 100-150 is more than reasonable.

Wedding gift lists at whichever store are good - choose what you can afford knowing it's something they wanted

We give 200 minimum, more for family or if one of us a bridesmaid/groomsman etc.

SeanHarty

I always look at it like paying for your dinner so usually 150-200 from a couple!

That being said though if I got some of the meals I've gotten at weddings from a nice restaurant costing 200 they wouldn't be getting paid!

mistersifter

200 is very generous if you can afford it. I would only give that to someone close.

Went to a wedding a while back and it was far away. Cost of travel and hotel meant I could only afford to stick 100 in the card. Felt like I was giving too little for a sec, but quickly realized how ridiculous that was - i was spending a fortune to get to the thing.

The pressure surrounding Irish weddings can be crazy. It's easy to feel like you HAVE to put this in the card, you HAVE to go to the stag/hen, you HAVE to stick around the day after, or god knows what everyone will think of ya! F*ck that.

Don't put yourself under pressure. If the couple are reasonable they will appreciate whatever guests can afford to give. If they are not reasonable, don't go.

Stoolbend

€150 to €200 is loads. Anyone who says it's not enough is a fool to be fair.

freshpopcorn

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Got married a few years ago loads of envelopes flying around like the scene in Goodfellas but our favourite gift was a handmade embroidered framed message that one of her mates who hadn't a pot to p1ss in gave us easy to put cash in an envelope but that took time and it meant a lot

Ye should have put on the invitation thoughtful gifts only.(No Cash)

enricoh

150-200 for the 2 of us. If they want to have the gig in Ashford castle and weddings by franc organising it so be it. I'm not paying any extra!

Cupcake_Crisis

€200 is... a LOT!! Weddings are an expensive pain in the hole. Especially when people graciously have them in the back end of nowhere so you’ve to book a room too. As a single person I’d be giving around €50-70. If it’s a family wedding we’d all pool in so there’s be around €250-300 in the card.

timthumbni

SeanHarty wrote: »

I always look at it like paying for your dinner so usually 150-200 from a couple!

That being said though if I got some of the meals I've gotten at weddings from a nice restaurant costing 200 they wouldn't be getting paid!

You must go to some fecking expensive restaurants if you are paying 200 squid for a meal for 2.
The whole wedding thing nowadays is pretentious ballox imo. It shouldn’t be your problem if some couple want to have a celebrity style wedding. Let them pay the cost themselves and then they will maybe cut their coat according to their cloth.

If I am never invited to another wedding then it will be too soon..

freshpopcorn

€200 is about the average which is given around here. Some people closer might give a bit more and those invited just to the afters at 9pm would give less.

lawred2

Dr_serious2 wrote: »

On another thread a poster was saying that 200 was a stingy wedding gift from a couple and that they shouldn't bother going if they are not willing to give much more than that.

Does anyone else think this is nonsense? Anyone who organises a sensible wedding and doesn't spend thousands on chocolate fountains, Baby Bentleys for the page boy, harpists in the lobby, cigar stands, fireworks, free cocktails and personalised napkins will get a good proportion of their outlay back if every couple gave them 200. Anyway, it's not about the money, it's about the love. Supposedly.

Anyone that 'expects' cash as a gift is a tosser

SeanHarty

timthumbni wrote: »

SeanHarty wrote: »

I always look at it like paying for your dinner so usually 150-200 from a couple!

That being said though if I got some of the meals I've gotten at weddings from a nice restaurant costing 200 they wouldn't be getting paid!

You must go to some fecking expensive restaurants if you are paying 200 squid for a meal for 2.
The whole wedding thing nowadays is pretentious ballox imo. It shouldn’t be your problem if some couple want to have a celebrity style wedding. Let them pay the cost themselves and then they will maybe cut their coat according to their cloth.

If I am never invited to another wedding then it will be too soon..

Well i don't really drink so I don't have nights out every weekend where you spend a fortune to lose it the next day in the toilet.

I'm a foodie so if I get a really top meal I have no problem paying decent money for it.

Same as anything you may not see value in it but that doesn't mean someone else wouldn't!

_Dara_

freshpopcorn wrote: »

€200 is about the average which is given around here. Some people closer might give a bit more and those invited just to the afters at 9pm would give less.

Aaaah, afters would be a LOT less. €50 or a voucher. Expecting anything more from an afters guest is madness.

mistersifter

SeanHarty wrote: »

I always look at it like paying for your dinner so usually 150-200 from a couple!

That being said though if I got some of the meals I've gotten at weddings from a nice restaurant costing 200 they wouldn't be getting paid!

this is kind of the problem with Irish wedding mentality IMO. Gifts shouldnt be looked at as a cover charge or a cost-covering fee. You are invited to the wedding as a guest and that includes dinner.

The gift is a gesture to the couple and should reflect what you can afford, not how much they have chosen to splash out on their wedding. It should be a nice extra for them, not something they are relying on to cover their debts or profit from. If they choose to set their wedding up in that way, it's their problem.

that said, if you can afford to give the 150 or 200 that, cool.

corner of hells

Give them a goldfish , if they can keep it alive for a year then give them some cash .

freshpopcorn

_Dara_ wrote: »

Aaaah, afters would a LOT less. €50 or a voucher. Expecting anything more from an afters guest is madness.

Yes, I'd always give cash tough. Don't really like giving vouchers.
A lot for the Afters would just give a glasses/a vase! These end up being being very useful for the couple as gifts for the following Christmas!

honeybear

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Yes, I'd always give cash tough. Don't really like giving vouchers.
A lot for the Afters would just give a glasses/a vase! These end up being being very useful for the couple as gifts for the following Christmas!

As I get older, I hate afters more and more

SeanHarty

SeanHarty wrote: »

Well i don't really drink so I don't have nights out every weekend where you spend a fortune to lose it the next day in the toilet.

I'm a foodie so if I get a really top meal I have no problem paying decent money for it.

Same as anything you may not see value in it but that doesn't mean someone else wouldn't!

You missed that posters point but, anytime you spent 200 euro for a meal for two, did you ever get anything comparable at a wedding?

SeanHarty

No I've had some amazing experiences in restaurants for 200 or less and never had anything come close at a wedding.

I do see where your going with this but it's only a gift to help the happy couple and I'm sure they would return the favour so I don't see a problem with 150-200 if you can afford it but I also wouldn't be embarrassed giving less if I couldn't.

andekwarhola

That's usually what I'd give unless it's immediate family or a very close friend in which case I'd give a bit more.

Up to you though, what you give. You shouldn't feel pressure to give money you can't afford.

I'd echo the sentiment about a favourite gift. My favourite present was a framed painting from an artist friend.

That said, despite the judgement, the money thing is a bit of a godsend for all parties. Nobody really wants, needs or can accommodate a couple of hundred presents. Nor do I personally always want to bother thinking of a unique one.

Omackeral

honeybear wrote: »

As I get older, I hate afters more and more

What?!! You mean you don’t like Sweet Caroline, Simply The Best and YMCA?!

Uncharted

€200 for family.
€150 for mates.
€100 for workmates.
0 for after dinner invites.

Simple.

Wabbit Ears

Uncharted wrote:

€200 for family. €150 for mates. €100 for workmates. 0 for after dinner invites.

Exactly this.

lawred2

Uncharted wrote: »

€200 for family.
€150 for mates.
€100 for workmates.
0 for after dinner invites.

Simple.

Never accept an afters invite

Uncharted

lawred2 wrote: »

Never accept an afters invite

I don't.
That's how they get nothing.
Fùck 'em.

Donald Trump

200 Euro from a couple?

A couple of what?

A couple of stingy bastards sez you

Uncharted

Donald Trump wrote: »

200 Euro from a couple?

A couple of what?

A couple of stingy bastards sez you

Easy to spend Daddy's money eh,Don.
Jog on Trumpf....
Fùckin' immigrants these days!

murpho999

There should be no expectations from couple as to what guests should pay as a present.

Guests should be invited as you genuinely want them to be part of your day or perhaps someone in your family, such as parents wants them there. I think it often happens that parents want somebody there that the couple would not normally invite.

The couple should see the wedding as a cost to them and guest should be free to give what they can afford and what they feel is appropriate and it's entirely personal.

An expectation of €200 from a couple is ridiculous and over the top in my opinion.