Advice from our elders

AfterLife

I know there's a few auld arses knocking about After Hours. I want to know what advice you would give to us for the future? Where have we gone wrong?

Is it your fault? Are we doing better than we think? Have your forefathers given you any sage advice?

Only the over 70's opinion I'm looking for here. Wibbs can pipe down, the pretend old prick.

Graces7

AfterLife wrote: »

I know there's a few auld arses knocking about After Hours. I want to know what advice you would give to us for the future? Where have we gone wrong?

Is it your fault? Are we doing better than we think? Have your forefathers given you any sage advice?

Only the over 70's opinion I'm looking for here. Wibbs can pipe down, the pretend old prick.

First thing is to show us some respect... :rolleyes:

Signore Fancy Pants

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old_aussie

Chewbacca wrote: »

Get bent!

Yeah that too, then don't take any advice from elders, and lean the hard way yourself

Irish Guitarist

As my father used to say when I was listening to music "Turn that down for fuck sake. That's terrible shite". He was a wise old sage.

Signore Fancy Pants

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Age alone doesn’t lend intelligence or wisdom.

I know plenty of old fools.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Just because someone is an old fart doesn't make him a wise old fart and just because an old wan's old does not demand she is respected for it.

Take advice from the wise, not just the old. There are many ignorant, stupid, rambling, and unintelligible elderly people out there.

Signore Fancy Pants

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realdanbreen

Graces7 wrote: »

First thing is to show us some respect... :rolleyes:

Hear hear! and we also want an increase in the pension.

ToddyDoody

My grandad used to say 'dig your own grave'.

enfield

As an oldie (over 65 but not yet 70) here are a few good life choices that worked for me.
Learn to cook, it will make eating healthy and well for little money. When your income reduces being able to cook will save more money than you realise.
Don't buy jewellery, its not a good investment unless it is vintage jewellery. If your partner likes jewellery let them waste their allowance on it.
Give yourself and partner a weekly allowance. From this each buy cigarettes, booze, etc and the savings made by cutting down or cutting out directly benefits themself.
Buy clothing at car boot sales or charity shops, it is a fraction of the new price and you can dress well for little.
Learn to cut your own hair, youtube is the place to learn.
Get a dog, he is good for your well-being, sanity and health.
Don't get a tom cat, they stink the place out.
Aim to own your own property, rent is dead money.
Get a healthy interest for you and your partner outside the home. Ensure it is closeby and affordable.
Make a budget and stick to it, if you overspend now and then that is fine, don't beat yourself up over it. Only when you overspend on a regular basis do you need to review your budget.
Remember 99% of the time you are where you put yourself.
Avoid drugs
Never be afraid to ask older people for advice. They see things from a more mature place than you and sometimes see the bigger picture. They are not stupid, they have come through periods of disaster, war and recession, how they survived must be a lesson in itself. They did not invent sex and probably know more about it than you will ever know.
Learn to love yourself, you cannot put one foot in front of the other until you can. That sounds a lot like Deserata (https://sites.google.com/site/heydrg/table-of-contents/deserata) but good to know just the same.
Chose your partner well, he/she will get your through more of the disasters of life that you can imagine.
Recognise anger and hate for what they are, a waste of energy and the thief of love. Every minute spent hating or being angry is one minute you could have spent been happy.

Think back.....You have found yourself in a place. In this place there are other people and one of them will get into bother. Of all present you are the only one that can help, you chose to help and sort out the problem. It means nothing to you but the person you have helped it was a life-changing event and they will remember it for the rest of their life. You walk away. Later when you think about what has happened you realise that you chose to help instead of taking the easier choice to walk away. And that is one of the many reasons you were put on this planet. Believe in youirself.

These are a few bits of advice from a doddery old codger who is happy as a sandboy, have little but very content with it. I know the end is coming but am in a happy place. Its a place in the mind that come with acceptance of the inevitable and belief in a higher power (not and established church).

Finally, and this works great, when you are nervous, like going into a interview or walking on stage and have the jitterbugs.....have a yawn, it relaxes you instantly ( I bet you just had a yawn).
Any other oldies reading this please add your own thoughts.

Cheers.
Tom.

Carry

I'm not that old yet, and certainly not wise, but I've learned a bit from life:

Go traveling the world as long as you are young and don't need creature comfort, i.e. sleeping in cheap digs or an a beach.

Don't let life bog you down, enjoy it, even the small pleasures. Tomorrow you might be dead.

Don't let anyone tell you what to do, make your own choices and take responsibility for them.

Think for yourself. Don't rely on the internet to tell you what's true or fake.

Stand tall, not matter what life is throwing at you, or other people.

Be kind, but not a doormat.

Use paragraphs when writing long posts.

Graces7

Carry wrote: »

I'm not that old yet, and certainly not wise, but I've learned a bit from life:

Go traveling the world as long as you are young and don't need creature comfort, i.e. sleeping in cheap digs or an a beach.

Don't let life bog you down, enjoy it, even the small pleasures. Tomorrow you might be dead.

Don't let anyone tell you what to do, make your own choices and take responsibility for them.

Think for yourself. Don't rely on the internet to tell you what's true or fake.

Stand tall, not matter what life is throwing at you, or other people.

Be kind, but not a doormat.

Use paragraphs when writing long posts.

This one I like. Thank you.

Graces7

Chewbacca wrote: »

Better off.

Demanding respect is counter productive. You dont automatically get respect because you are old.

Old people were asked for advice...someome comes in with demands.

Pish.

You should not have to ask for respect. There is no excuse for insult or abuse; shows YOU up.

Respect all other people..

And yes, respect for a greater life experience than you have.

That is something we were taught very early on. And respect for weakness, and to support and help others, especially older folk.

Manners have been lost....well, on some parts of boards.ie anyways! :eek:

BBDBB

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI

Baz Lurhman - Sunscreen

gets Truer and Truer every year

topper75

The ability of older people to advise the young is diminishing at an exponential rate.

The world is changing at a faster rate by the year.

That includes tech, values, social mores, and access to resources.

The world of the young is/will be a new one and they have to figure it out for themselves.

dashcamdanny

enfield wrote: »

As an oldie (over 65 but not yet 70) here are a few good life choices that worked for me.

Never be afraid to ask older people for advice. They see things from a more mature place than you and sometimes see the bigger picture. They are not stupid, they have come through periods of disaster, war and recession, how they survived must be a lesson in itself.
Tom.

Thats what most young people seem to forget . Many dismiss older generations as silly or out of touch. I was probably the same until I got to know my grandparents properly.
I thinks its only when you take the time to look into peoples pasts, you see how much harder they where compared to this pampered Iphone generation.

Both my grandmother and grandfather, like most of the time, where involved in WW2. The things they may have seen or done must have been horrific. My grandad was artillery gunner and was never able to talk about his time overseas.

We are very lucky our generations have avoided this. (so far)

When people refare to older people as "ole wans" or "old gits" and so on, it emphasises their own immaturity and ignorance.

jimgoose

Wear sunscreen.

Graces7

dashcamdanny wrote: »

Thats what most young people seem to forget . Many dismiss older generations as silly or out of touch. I was probably the same until I got to know my grandparents properly.
I thinks its only when you take the time to look into peoples pasts, you see how much harder they where compared to this pampered Iphone generation.

Both my grandmother and grandfather, like most of the time, where involved in WW2. The things they may have seen or done must have been horrific. My grandad was artillery gunner and was never able to talk about his time overseas.

We are very lucky our generations have avoided this. (so far)

When people refare to older people as "ole wans" or "old gits" and so on, it emphasises their own immaturity and ignorance.

Wise words; thank you. My own father was in WW2.

The other thing; I as an older and increasingly frail person, respect deeply those younger than I who , eg when they see me struggling with heavy shopping, offer a hand with it...or stop their cars when I am waiting to cross the road... Age brings many things, weakness that we seek to counter and hide, illness of many kinds. Respect for these things please!

And yes, if they had asked here . I would have said that maybe youngsters now have too much too easily? Compared with us well over 70s.

Maybe less here in Ireland than we in the UK where we grew up with food rationing etc.

Carry

Graces7 wrote: »

Wise words; thank you. My own father was in WW2.

The other thing; I as an older and increasingly frail person, respect deeply those younger than I who , eg when they see me struggling with heavy shopping, offer a hand with it...or stop their cars when I am waiting to cross the road... Age brings many things, weakness that we seek to counter and hide, illness of many kinds. Respect for these things please!

And yes, if they had asked here . I would have said that maybe youngsters now have too much too easily? Compared with us well over 70s.

Maybe less here in Ireland than we in the UK where we grew up with food rationing etc.

Ach Graces, stop it already with your poor-me-rationing-in-UK.
After WW2 all European countries had to suffer in some way or another. Some more than the UK. Ireland certainly more than the UK when it comes to poverty.

And don't be so entitled only because you are old. Weaknesses and illnesses don't automatically earn respect. Certainly not when it's mentioned in nearly every post (plus "I-grew-up-starving" and "the young have it all now", which is a good thing, considering).
It's the An Béal Bocht syndrom, a bit out of fashion actually, and quite annoying.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

It's simple really. If you want advice, get it from someone you admire and trust on the matter.

Wibbs

topper75 wrote: »

The ability of older people to advise the young is diminishing at an exponential rate.

The world is changing at a faster rate by the year.

That includes tech, values, social mores, and access to resources.

The world of the young is/will be a new one and they have to figure it out for themselves.

On tech certainly, but that's been a thing for a while now. When video recorders first came out the "joke" doing the rounds was people were having kids just so their offspring could get rid of the flashing 00:00. Values and social mores again have a long history of generational disconnect, with both sides often baffled by the other's lifestyles and choices. The ancient Greeks, Chinese, Arabs and Romans noted it. Access to resources has been steadily going up since the enlightenment. The refrain that "young people have it so good(and don't appreciate it)" has echoed for generations and again the ancients noted it.

So little enough has changed. That's another thing that's consistent: the young are often convinced that they see the world anew and that it is a new world. Which is a positive thing for the most part, if seen as such. The old tend to stagnate into well trodden comfortable paths they build for themselves and the young will in turn stagnate themselves as they age and their kids will see the world anew. Generational deck clearing.

What advice would I give my younger self if I were growing up today? Pretty much the same advice I would give myself growing up back then. Though in both cases I'd be unlikely to listen to it. That's one of the great things and bad things about youth.

I would say pick your battles over what or whom you should give a damn about. Don't be socially embarrassed too much. The most embarrassing thing you think you've done will be either not noticed by anyone else, or forgotten very quickly. What has changed in this respect is social media and the endless recording of our own lives. Embarrassment has the potential to last longer, even go viral. Even so that light sabre kid of years past can walk down the street today incognito.

On the tech front I would say use social media as a condiment to your life, not the meal. Ask yourself can you switch off or lay down your Facebook/twitter/whatever for a week? If not, then that stuff owns you, not the other way around. Same goes for the "stuff" in your life, the "latest thing". We are being targeted like no other people in history for your cash, politics, beliefs. Mostly cash. The interwebs is "free" because you are the product.

If you are unhappy in life or work or a relationship, first thing in the morning look in the mirror and ask yourself has anything changed. If it hasn't in twelve weeks start planning a move.

Know that you can change. Don't believe the labels that mark you as a condition, a syndrome, a demographic or a victim. That has most certainly increased. Know that you can change. You are capable of change and great change at that.

Try to surround yourself with people that are more like what you would like to be, rather than surround yourself with people that are comfortably static. Same with ideas. Look beyond the comfort zone of your personal worldview. Even something simple like picking up a book or reading a website about something you have no interest in, or even vehemently oppose. If it vexes you, keep reading. Keeps the mind plastic and your options open, because you see more options. Never settle into an intellectual rut. Never settle for a social rut. Both of these are more important as you age mind you. I would say particularly for men. I have found men in general age faster mentally and fall into comfortable ruts more easily and ride them all the way into the grave.

If something seems consistently negative in your life, whether that be work, or relationships, the one constant factor is you. You're the negative. Acknowledge that, embrace that fact you have acknowledged that, avoid wallowing in it, change it. EG the man who "always ends up with bitches" and the woman who "always ends up with bastards", you're picking them I'm afraid.

The world isn't out to get you. It isn't particularly out to help you either, but there's far more of the latter going on than the former.

If you are young and find yourself thinking older people have no clue, consider that the same older people thought the same of their elders and you will think like them in short enough order. Climb down from your self built perch, open your eyes and ears and start listening, you might learn something. If nothing else you might learn how to avoid ending up like them.

If you are older and find yourself saying or thinking "young people today..." as a negative, either enter your local funeral directors deets into your phone, dial in Glassnevin into your satnav for convenience sake, or climb down from your self built perch, open your eyes and ears and start living again.

Signore Fancy Pants

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realdanbreen

'A wise man always carries a coat'

DEFTLEFTHAND

I suppose the important thing to remember is that we could all die at any time and any place regardless of age. I always think back to when I was 18 and having a drink with a close friend one saturday night. The next saturday night he was in the ground and I was attending the afters of his funeral, in the same bar and at the same table as the previous week.

We have to make the most of every day we get. No point living life any other way.

realdanbreen

Also(and this is more factual than advice) Women prefer older men, and rightly so. Who wants a fella with a man bun and skinny ripped jeans in the bed?

My grandfather was a well of wisdom and I sought and took his advice many, many times. He had a very varied life and 92 years of life experience and I genuinely can't remember him ever being wrong.

My grannys advice is usually more mundanely practical. Don't sit on radiators or read on the loo, you'll get piles*. Don't go to bed with wet hair or you'll get pneumonia*. Don't trust men with moustaches but no beard*. Never go out without jewellery and lipstick and your hair neat. Allow men to treat you like a lady, and treat them as gentlemen in return. No good comes of shopping in the sales, you just buy things you don't need because you're cheap. If it's not in the Argos catalogue it's probably not worth having. Listen to people when they tell you who they are, if a man says he's a bit of a heartbreaker you can't say you haven't been warned. Pull your own weight in life and take care of yourself. Beware of people who treat you like a lifejacket, they only pull you down. Learn practical skills, if you can cook, clean and maintain your home and possessions you'll save a fortune. Don't let anyone have the power to destroy your confidence, know your worth.



*She isn't right about everything.

super_furry

The thing with advice from your parents or older people is that you only ever realise that they were right when you get older yourself.

7 Seconds...

In the words of Mark Twain: “Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile. Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”