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Moving 7 year old to a different town and school

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    #32
    draiochtanois
    Registered Users Posts: 2,655 ✭✭✭draiochtanois


    This post has been deleted.


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    #33
    movingaway1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10 ✭movingaway1


    lazygal wrote: »
    In fairness, she can't really make up her own mind can she? The adults are the ones who'll decide on the move, not her. If she decided herself she didn't want to move, would you stay put or move and try to convince her to make the best of it?

    what I mean is she can make up her own mind in deciding whether she likes the new school or not, if she will like the new activities around etc. I am not trying to force her to like the place, I wouldn't be able even if I wanted to.. I just want her to go in tomorrow with an open mind and see how she gets on....
    He on the other hand is trying to put the fear of God into her, telling her that she won't see her family or him anymore etc, he even went so far as to tell her that I won't drive her back out home to visit once we move, which is completely ridiculous


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    #34
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 14,034 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    You need to sit down with him, with her and let her know that the things he says are lies. Get him to tell her in front of you what he has been saying, and then you can tell her that it's simply not true. That she will still see her dad exactly the same amount of time. That you will be over and back to her grandparents house regularly too. You don't have to out right call him a liar, but you can ask him what he foresees as problems, and then explain to her that none of the "problems" are in fact problems at all.

    He doesn't sound the most reasonable and probably wouldn't even agree to you all sitting down together anyway. But, he doesn't get to make your life decisions. If you want to move 40 mins away, he can't stop you. Even if your daughter doesn't want to go (because of what he's saying) it's not her choice. You are the adult in this scenario and you are the one who will make the decision, based on what you feel is best for your family (you, your daughter and your partner).

    Sometimes as parents we have to make decisions that our children aren't always happy about.

    I think you are giving him too much airtime. If she comes back telling you what he said just say "well isn't he very silly to say that, because that is not at all true". I wouldn't go on about it too much. I wouldn't try convince her too much. The decision is made, you're going to be moving. You can talk to her about it, but do not entertain any baseless negativity from him, and do not over discuss it. In a few weeks it'll all be sorted and settled.


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    #35
    Lord Nikon
    Registered Users Posts: 3,610 ✭✭✭Lord Nikon


    Honestly, I feel you are giving him the easy life. He needs to understand that changes will happen, and he needs to get used to that. If he was really bothered about his child he would be there to collect her(it shouldn't be a chore for him).

    If you feel it is the best move for you and your daughter, he will have to live with it, and his say means nothing at all.

    PM Sent.


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