what do weddings cost the couple overall??

c.p.w.g.w

The amount some people spend is shocking, that could be money to pay off the mortgage early, cover kids uniforms and books for their entire school live. A few foreign holidays

Graces7

Patww79 wrote: »

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Well they are doing the most important job in the world..

As it was my mention of the little one running round, let me assure you that she added to the sheer joy and solemnity of the occasion.

The Friar who officiated included her in the proceedings. It was a wonderful small, intimate occasion. Deeply meaningful.

Graces7

Phoenix Stale Viking wrote: »

Children are annoying, running around making noise during speeches, during the mass and in general getting in the way of people enjoying themselves and drinking etc.

No need for them at weddings at all. You are obviously one of them annoying parents who care about nothing but your “little darlings”. Most parents I know are just glad to be away form their kids for a day or two and have a proper night on the beer etc.

:rolleyes:

umop episdn

iamwhoiam wrote: »

What kind of weddings to you frequent ?

Ones where the band promises, in writing, not to play "Wagon Wheel"....

OldMrBrennan83

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andekwarhola

iamwhoiam wrote: »

What kind of weddings to you frequent ?

Irish ones by the sound of it.

facehugger99

Most recent weddings I've been to, the wedding couple already have children and obviously their kids are involved in the day as they should be.

I think it's quite nice to see children at a wedding. I guess it depends how you see a wedding. For me they are family celebrations but some people seem to view them as a multi-day piss-up - wouldn't be my scene.

Eggs For Dinner

umop episdn wrote: »

Parenthood didn't change me, I was always a self important snob....and drunken twats falling over themselves, groping waitresses and puking I the corner just aren't my type of people... but you go right ahead and enjoy yourself

Seriously, you've seen that sort of behaviour at a wedding?

andekwarhola

Patww79 wrote: »

I'm not the only one making generalisations anyway.

Patww79 wrote: »

Because they would rather not have brats running riots

Patww79 wrote: »

It's right what they say, nobody has a bigger sense of self importance than a parent.

*Cough*

umop episdn

Eggs For Dinner wrote: »

Seriously, you've seen that sort of behaviour at a wedding?

Yes indeed unfortunately

OldMrBrennan83

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Blaas4life

facehugger99 wrote: »

Most recent weddings I've been to, the wedding couple already have children and obviously their kids are involved in the day as they should be.

I think it's quite nice to see children at a wedding. I guess it depends how you see a wedding. For me they are family celebrations but some people seem to view them as a multi-day piss-up - wouldn't be my scene.

You could understand em wanting there kids there (this makes sense)...but hordes of kids running about making noise is my idea of hell


If I wanted that,I'd hang about in a playground (without meaning to sound like a paedo :pac: )

andekwarhola

Patww79 wrote: »

Read it again. I'll give you a clue, the word starts with O and ends with Y.

Opprobriously?

c.p.w.g.w

c.p.w.g.w wrote: »

The amount some people spend is shocking, that could be money to pay off the mortgage early, cover kids uniforms and books for their entire school live. A few foreign holidays

Cash gifts cover a large amount of the cost though so it costs the couple much less than the headline number.

flandabieduzie

This thread sums up why I don't want to get married. And I'm not referring to the finances!

umop episdn

flandabieduzie wrote: »

This thread sums up why I don't want to get married. And I'm not referring to the finances!

Nobody loves you?

lazygal

I'm a parent, I don't like children at weddings and we don't bring ours to them nor do we expect them to be invited. I don't think a wedding is a family day, it's two people celebrating their relationship and usually getting the legal bit sorted. We didn't ask all our aunts/uncles/cousins, friends and family we actually like were who we asked.
I can't remember how much we spent overall, but we had two great weddings. One just the legal one with our parents and went for dinner, then a big celebration a week later. Had an open bar and spent most of the rest of the budget on food and a great band. No regrets at all and we asked that people not give gifts or if so inclined to donate to a nominated charity. We got a good bit of cash from family, nowhere near covered the cost of the day nor did we expect or plan for it to.

lazygal

flandabieduzie wrote: »

This thread sums up why I don't want to get married. And I'm not referring to the finances!

Getting married and having a wedding can be two completely different things. If we hadn't wanted a wedding we would have nipped out to the registry office at lunch and got the legals done. The marriage bit takes ten minutes tops and ties up a lot of legal loose ends.

Ginger83

Ours was 1800 all in, small numbers no bull****

duffman13

Ours including the honeymoon will be 22k. The honeymoon is 10k which is more important than the wedding IMO. Have had a house since 2011 and have saved to pay for the wedding. We are having around 120 people but we definitely won't make a profit, lots of my family haven't got a pot to piss in so it's literally a celebration. If we got 3-4k in gifts I'd be very surprised

It's an expensive day but one I'm looking forward to. I've been to 4 weddings in the last 8 months and not one of them has been under 20k for the day. Two of them have been 30k not including honeymoon. I struggled to see what they got for the extra 18k but one couple paid 3300 for a photographer and 4k for a band for two hours.

duffman13

Phoenix Stale Viking wrote: »

Cash gifts cover a large amount of the cost though so it costs the couple much less than the headline number.

This overblown, my sister got married recently and made less than 2k in cash from 100 guests. Some of the gifts she got were worth feck all. I've always had the mindset of cover my plate but lots of people see it as an (almost) free meal

BuboBubo

Generally cost €25k upwards.

Total waste of money and unnecessary stress imo, but to each their own.

Mr Bubos brother took out a 5 year credit union loan to pay for his, marriage lasted 2 years

Eggs For Dinner

duffman13 wrote: »

. I've always had the mindset of cover my plate but lots of people see it as an (almost) free meal

Eh, you get invited as a guest. If I invite someone to anything, I would expect to bear the cost.. If I'm to pay for a meal, a hotel where average fare which has been kept under heat lamps for hours would be far down on my list of preferences.

_Dara_

duffman13 wrote: »

This overblown, my sister got married recently and made less than 2k in cash from 100 guests. Some of the gifts she got were worth feck all. I've always had the mindset of cover my plate but lots of people see it as an (almost) free meal

Seeing as weddings are usually expensive to attend even without the gift, I doubt anyone is going out if their way to get a “free” carvery meal.

OldMrBrennan83

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andekwarhola

_Dara_ wrote: »

Seeing as weddings are usually expensive to attend even without the gift, I doubt anyone is going out if their way to get a “free” carvery meal.

I always find paying for a hotel, travel and a 200 quid gift an economic means of getting a beef and potato meal.

_Dara_

Patww79 wrote: »

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I’ve been to lots of weddings. Some swish, some on a tighter budget. With the exception of one, the food was mediocre. I’m interested - what are the “right” weddings?

OldMrBrennan83

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_Dara_

Patww79 wrote: »

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They are very rare. Mediocre food is the overwhelming norm.

Weddings provide catering, not cuisine. Unless there's an a la carte menu it's not going to be particularly special nor cooked to order.

iamwhoiam

duffman13 wrote: »

This overblown, my sister got married recently and made less than 2k in cash from 100 guests. Some of the gifts she got were worth feck all. I've always had the mindset of cover my plate but lots of people see it as an (almost) free meal

" made cash " ? Its not a business in my opinion and a gift is a bonus and people are kind to do that . But maybe thats just our family ?

Pac1Man

umop episdn wrote: »

....and drunken twats falling over themselves, groping waitresses and puking I the corner just aren't my type of people... but you go right ahead and enjoy yourself

Because that's the alternative...

OldMrBrennan83

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duffman13

iamwhoiam wrote: »

" made cash " ? Its not a business in my opinion and a gift is a bonus and people are kind to do that . But maybe thats just our family ?

Jaysis poor choice of words, I was responding to someone who said people make enough from weddings to cover the cost of a wedding. A gift is a gift, and maybe you and your family are better than everyone.

_Dara_

Patww79 wrote: »

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Good for you. Most weddings are not that. Though I’ve had duck at a wedding. It was overcooked as any meat can be. Aaaaand, the key point - it wasn’t a free meal.

duffman13

_Dara_ wrote: »

Seeing as weddings are usually expensive to attend even without the gift, I doubt anyone is going out if their way to get a “free” carvery meal.

Im not arguing they are expensive to attend, of course they are. I've only ever gone to weddings of people who I had an interest in and had a strong relationship.

Also carvery meal? I've been to a lot of weddings recently and I've probably had one bad meal that was disappointing. The rest were very good restaurant quality food. Each to their own but I can't agree that it's carvery standard

_Dara_

duffman13 wrote: »

Im not arguing they are expensive to attend, of course they are. I've only ever gone to weddings of people who I had an interest in and had a strong relationship.

Also carvery meal? I've been to a lot of weddings recently and I've probably had one bad meal that was disappointing. The rest were very good restaurant quality food. Each to their own but I can't agree that it's carvery standard

Carvery is probably a slight exaggeration but the food is mass-catering. It’s not restaurant standard either and certainly nothing you’d go out of your way for. For the per head price, the equivalent at a good mid-range restaurant would be much higher. For example, if you go for a fish course at a wedding, it’s very difficult to ensure that fish won’t be overcooked.

Pauliedragon

They should start a system where people put money in sympathy cards. Funerals are bloody expensive. At least with a wedding you can plan in advance. Uncle Billy dies suddenly of a heart attack his wife doesn't work, he has 3 school aged kids and it has to be taken care of in a few days. A wedding is by choice. Let's start a movement. No more wedding gifts keep your hard earned cash for funeral cards.:D

Panthro

I'm happy to support such a movement.
Once I've married myself and have received several hundred quid from all the people's weddings I've been to over the years
#Tight git!

iamwhoiam

_Dara_ wrote: »

Carvery is probably a slight exaggeration but the food is mass-catering. It’s not restaurant standard either and certainly nothing you’d go out of your way for. For the per head price, the equivalent at a good mid-range restaurant would be much higher. For example, if you go for a fish course at a wedding, it’s very difficult to ensure that fish won’t be overcooked.

The per head price is in fairness not just for the actual food . Its for the venue , the room and tables and staff . For the decorations and flowers etc . The venue for a family member will put up the lights and flowers and lantern etc

Dakota Dan

Larbre34 wrote: »

We spent 27k on the day, 15k on a 7 week honeymoon some months later and netted 15k in gifts including our parents contributions. So I guess it cost us 27k. We had the gaff bought 7 years beforehand

What age were you when you married?

bear1

We kept ours as simple as possible.
In the end the whole day cost I think about 3k? Went on our honeymoon the very next day which was about 3k I would guess.
Got about 5k in gift money from everyone.
Why anyone would spend 27k.. going a years salary for some on 1 single day is beyond me but if you can afford it then have at it.

_Dara_

iamwhoiam wrote: »

The per head price is in fairness not just for the actual food . Its for the venue , the room and tables and staff . For the decorations and flowers etc . The venue for a family member will put up the lights and flowers and lantern etc

Well, some people use the ‘cover your plate’ rule of thumb. So if you use that as a guide do you deduct for decorations? As for staff, well, in a restaurant you get that service too as well as better food.

It highlights really why the ‘cover your plate’ notion is a silly one.

iamwhoiam

_Dara_ wrote: »

Well, some people use the ‘cover your plate’ rule of thumb. So if you use that as a guide do you deduct for decorations? As for staff, well, in a restaurant you get that service too as well as better food.

It highlights really why the ‘cover your plate’ notion is a silly one.

Must say I have never heard that phrase used . Maybe I am sheltered from all that nonsense !

_Dara_

Pauliedragon wrote: »

They should start a system where people put money in sympathy cards. Funerals are bloody expensive. At least with a wedding you can plan in advance. Uncle Billy dies suddenly of a heart attack his wife doesn't work, he has 3 school aged kids and it has to be taken care of in a few days. A wedding is by choice. Let's start a movement. No more wedding gifts keep your hard earned cash for funeral cards.:D

My funeral will be happening in the next few years and I have basically no money to pay for it. And when I bring it up with loved ones (inc. hubs) that I need to start saving for it and cutting other stuff out to do so, they tell me not to talk like that because they don’t want to think about it. Don’t they realise that they’ll be paying for it if I don’t and it’ll probably be €5000 or more? I want to be sensible and plan for it but I’m being hamstrung. And they’re not flush, they’ll struggle to afford it.

This funeral gifts notion might not be a bad idea... :pac: :pac: :pac:

I've contributed many times to a funeral 'whip round' fund for people who have a death in the family and wouldn't be too flush. I'm sure it's commonplace in situations like yours.

I agree with your hubs, Dara. It's not something for you to worry about or feel guilty about. You've enough to worry about, let them do the heavy lifting for afterwards and don't fret about it yourself.

DrPhilG

The food at my wedding was bloody fabulous. And I'm not just saying that because it was my wedding, I've been to 2 others in the same hotel and they always nail it.

Graces7

Patww79 wrote: »

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They were Irish. All of them. My word but what a snarl!

eviltwin

My wedding cost about 1000 euros, we didn't have gifts so we didn't recoup anything.

Graces7

facehugger99 wrote: »

Most recent weddings I've been to, the wedding couple already have children and obviously their kids are involved in the day as they should be.

I think it's quite nice to see children at a wedding. I guess it depends how you see a wedding. For me they are family celebrations but some people seem to view them as a multi-day piss-up - wouldn't be my scene.

At the first irish wedding I attended the couple's nine year old son was the best man...