Evolution at its best

Conservatory

Who do you think are the best examples of evolution out there today. I’d have to say Christiano Ronaldo.
He’s tall, handsome and kind. Ridiculously athletic and the best in the world ever in his line of work.
Crazily rich from his talents.

His bloodline will have no problem carrying on for generations probably mixing with some of the most beautiful women in the world for generations.

Aparantly if he gets beaten at anything even table tennis it will become his hobby/obsession until he wins a rematch.

Have you any better examples male or female?

SureYWouldntYa

Charmander is a beast when he becomes Charizard imo

Ronaldinho

Conservatory wrote: »

Have you any better examples male or female?

Louise O'Neill

took an ancestor of mine a couple million years to emerge from the sea now i can do it pretty much whenever so i guess id nomimate me

mickmackmcgoo

Conservatory wrote:

His bloodline will have no problem carrying on for generations probably mixing with some of the most beautiful women in the world for generations.

Marty Morrissey

Gremlinertia

Crocodiles, didn't even need to bother changing

SEPT 23 1989

The great white shark

nullzero

Thinly veiled "I'm gay for Ronaldo" thread.

KingNerolives

Ronaldo is gay though, I'm aware he has kids(s).

Conservatory

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

The great white shark

Hasn’t got a patch on christiano (king of the jungle) Ronaldo. When the great white shark can travel on land and water give me a shout.

I’d say Ronaldo would probably beat a shark at swimming anyway such is his greatness. Shark can’t even light a fire.

Outlaw Pete

Android.

Omackeral

When they held all the titles Evolution were pretty good.

Conservatory

KingNerolives wrote: »

Ronaldo is gay though, I'm aware he has kids(s).

Maybe he is , maybe he likes both maybe he doesn’t like either. Does it really matter

shakeitoff

Weak jawed gypsy

But for real, he has insane drive, he's actually skinny but has a large frame so looks bigger than he is. He's maybe not the best footballer of all time but athletically he changed the sport imo.

KingNerolives

shakeitoff wrote: »

Weak jawed gypsy

But for real, he has insane drive, he's actually skinny but has a large frame so looks bigger than he is. He's maybe not the best footballer of all time but athletically he changed the sport imo.

Ronaldo is the greatest ever, maradonna is slightly behind along with messi. Certainly better than the tinpot league tap in merchant Pele.

Conservatory

KingNerolives wrote: »

Ronaldo is the greatest ever, maradonna is slightly behind along with messi. Certainly better than the tinpot league tap in merchant Pele.

I’d say what really separates Ronaldo from the rest for me is how long he has dominated. I think he still has 3 years at the very top at least. Messi on the other hand is on the wane and never did it for his country. Ronaldo could turn up at Stockport county and have them in the top ten in the premier league before he retires.

endacl

Read down till I got the chance to post my smartar5e 'you don't appear to really understand the theory of evolution of species by natural selection' comment.

Turns out it would have been out of place in a 'let's sneak a thread about nancyball into AH' thread.



Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

verycool

shakeitoff

That's Ronaldo before his surgeries

Conservatory

endacl wrote: »

Read down till I got the chance to post my smartar5e 'you don't appear to really understand the theory of evolution of species by natural selection' comment.

Turns out it would have been out of place in a 'let's sneak a thread about nancyball into AH' thread.

It is completely 100 per cent what evolution is all about. A species changing to make it more desirable to the opposite sex to have more kids than the rest of the schmos. He will have lots of children. His children will have lots of children. In a thousand years time come feast or famine his bloodline will have the first pick of partners and their children will likely be provided for.

endacl

Conservatory wrote: »

It is completely 100 per cent what evolution is all about. A species changing to make it more desirable to the opposite sex to have more kids than the rest of the schmos. He will have lots of children. His children will have lots of children. In a thousand years time come feast or famine his bloodline will have the first pick of partners and their children will likely be provided for.

It's 100% the kind of example that people who think they understand evolution by natural selection but don't, give as an example of how evolution by natural selection works!

Conservatory

endacl wrote: »

It's 100% the kind of example that people who think they understand evolution by natural selection but don't, give as an example of how evolution by natural selection works!

Ok hotshot. Let’s be having it. Mother Nature just makes it happen.

endacl

Conservatory wrote: »

Ok hotshot. Let’s be having it. Mother Nature just makes it happen.

Not at all. It works across populations (species). Not at the individual level.

To dissect your Ronaldo example.
1. You assume he would want to have many children. There's a world of difference between 'gets loads of women' and 'produces offspring with many women'.
2. You presume they would all be little Ronaldos. You'd have to track that logic backwards too. Who was Ronaldo's dad? Was he a Ronaldo? No? Then how did he produce a Ronaldo? See?
3. Kicking a ball and running around doesn't bestow a survival advantage in a scenario where there would be inter-species competition for scarce resources. To the human population on the European continent, survival resources aren't scarce.

I could do a few more, but that'll be grand to get along with.

Conservatory

endacl wrote: »

Not at all. It works across populations (species). Not at the individual level.

To dissect your Ronaldo example.
1. You assume he would want to have many children. There's a world of difference between 'gets loads of women' and 'produces offspring with many women'.
2. You presume they would all be little Ronaldos. You'd have to track that logic backwards too. Who was Ronaldo's dad? Was he a Ronaldo? No? Then how did he produce a Ronaldo? See?
3. Kicking a ball and running around doesn't bestow a survival advantage in a scenario where there would be inter-species competition for scarce resources. To the human population on the European continent, survival resources aren't scarce.

I could do a few more, but that'll be grand to get along with.

I’m going to vigorously quote you on this until you lose interest. You say he kicks a ball that wouldn’t do in a survival situation. I’d say he is determined, rediculouy athletic, has amazing balance, can jump real high, obsessive to the point that he will succeed in anything he puts his hand to.

You say his father wasn’t a Ronaldo. He was a fisherman on a little island who managed to get by. Maybe he never had time for sports and if he did he could have been another Ronaldo but his opportunities were fishing so he did that.

He already has two children. Who look like they will have no problem having children themselves. They may mix in sports circles and end up marrying John McEnroe or Maria sharapovas daughter. This could eventually lead to a two tiered human race where the beautiful sporty people have kids and the ugly gym dodgers have kids. We havnt seen this in the human race since the introduction of farming really because it’s only the last twenty or so years that sports stars are really being celebrated and being a wag is now seen as a career choice.

I think this proves that I am understanding evolution and you are trying to come across as smart when you just want to poo poo other people rather than by being smart.

Thanks for reading. I’m going to put the kettle on and stay up all night on this.

endacl

Conservatory wrote: »

I think this proves that I am understanding evolution and you are trying to come across as smart when you just want to poo poo other people rather than by being smart.

Thanks for reading. I’m going to put the kettle on and stay up all night on this.

Let's crack on, so!

The inevitable outcome of what you propose is homogeneity. That the entire species would eventually be Ronaldo.

There's been ample time for this to have occurred. Why hasn't it yet? I suspect you may be arguing for Lamarckism. Which, while on the face of it is an attractively elegant solution, is revealed after only the most cursory interrogation to be patently erroneous.

*Kettle - ON*

:pac:

Donald Trump

endacl wrote: »

Let's crack on, so!

The inevitable outcome of what you propose is homogeneity. That the entire species would eventually be Ronaldo.

There's been ample time for this to have occurred. Why hasn't it yet? I suspect you may be arguing for Lamarckism. Which, while on the face of it is an attractively elegant solution, is revealed after only the most cursory interrogation to be patently erroneous.

*Kettle - ON*

:pac:

Homogeneity is not good for any species. If a species becomes too homogeneous it will die out. When the disease/disaster comes that will kill one of the population, it will kill them all

Conservatory

endacl wrote: »

Let's crack on, so!

The inevitable outcome of what you propose is homogeneity. That the entire species would eventually be Ronaldo.

There's been ample time for this to have occurred. Why hasn't it yet? I suspect you may be arguing for Lamarckism. Which, while on the face of it is an attractively elegant solution, is revealed after only the most cursory interrogation to be patently erroneous.

*Kettle - ON*

:pac:

It hasn’t happened until now because sportstars never really benefited from sports until the last twenty or so years. Bobby Charlton and Dennis Law would have been on little more than the factory workers who came to watch them. Now players from the first division are very well off. Female boxers are very well off a tennis player ranked 150th in the world probably earns more than you and me combined. 20 years ago very few ladies would have gone to a night club for the sole reason of sleeping with a footballer, any footballer. Now if you wrote a how to guide on how to get a footballer to ride ye it’d be a best seller.

This gives the sports star a choice to subliminally select the best of the herd to give him the best children. I’m a firm believer that people have types or are attracted to certain girls for a reason.

The sad acts just getting by in life will continue to settle for whatever is left over. This will give them weaker off spring. In a time of hardship which kids do you think will have it handier.

If there was a zombie apocalypse tomorrow I’d rather be Ronaldo’s son than Stephen Frys son. (Stephen Frys son may do ok reproduction wise while he lives off Stephen Frys money but he can only hope to better his bloodline with hot sporty girls who are willing to overlook looks so obviously would still be behind hot sporty rich men in the general choices).

Any of the big words you plucked out of a thesaurus to again sound smart are going to be ignored. Just like Stephen Frys son if him and Ronaldo were in a room with the Swedish volleyball team.

Conservatory

Donald Trump wrote: »

Homogeneity is not good for any species. If a species becomes too homogeneous it will die out. When the disease/disaster comes that will kill one of the population, it will kill them all

That’s an excellent point. It’s like the human race peaked with Ronaldo and now we are on the way to extinction by homogeneity.

endacl

Conservatory wrote: »

That’s an excellent point. It’s like the human race peaked with Ronaldo and now we are on the way to extinction by homogeneity.

Ipso

endacl wrote: »

Not at all. It works across populations (species). Not at the individual level.

To dissect your Ronaldo example.
1. You assume he would want to have many children. There's a world of difference between 'gets loads of women' and 'produces offspring with many women'.
2. You presume they would all be little Ronaldos. You'd have to track that logic backwards too. Who was Ronaldo's dad? Was he a Ronaldo? No? Then how did he produce a Ronaldo? See?
3. Kicking a ball and running around doesn't bestow a survival advantage in a scenario where there would be inter-species competition for scarce resources. To the human population on the European continent, survival resources aren't scarce.

I could do a few more, but that'll be grand to get along with.

It also assumes that Ronaldo is fertile.

Conservatory

Ipso wrote: »

It also assumes that Ronaldo is fertile.

His two children said he is but what would they know.

Ipso

How does evolution know, if he wasn't fertile the species would be doomed. Unless the flying spaghetti monster (pbuh) knew all along.

Junkyard Tom

Cats have evolved to make humans their staff.

Conservatory

Ipso wrote: »

How does evolution know, if he wasn't fertile the species would be doomed. Unless the flying spaghetti monster (pbuh) knew all along.

No you see if all his kids were infertile the species ......ah never mind.

Arytonblue

This is the most bizarre thread to have appeared on After Hours since that last bizarre thread that only ever appears on After Hours because this forum is the one that let's literally anyone post about absolutely anything considered thread-worthy. Well done OP, you get a gold star from me. Also there is a soccer forum I believe. Though those feckers have some type of weird cultist trial you have to complete in order to gain access so you were probably right to post this here.

Conservatory

This isn’t about football it’s about the future of the human race man. Basketball stars will also populate a lot of America and Russia and china. But eventually all the little Ronaldo’s with their perfect genes will sleep with the basketball players daughters and their daughters daughters until there is only one. Then as Donald Trump has pointed out a standard flu will wipe out the entire population.

It’s why t Rex’s all look the same. There was a Ronaldo T. rex and they were extinct by homogeneity , meteor in Mexico my a r s e

endacl

Conservatory wrote: »

This isn’t about football it’s about the future of the human race man. Basketball stars will also populate a lot of America and Russia and china.

Wrong again.

China will be populated by Shaolin ping pong masters.

Conservatory

endacl wrote: »

Wrong again.

China will be populated by Shaolin ping pong masters.

The process is not important they are just making fodder for the Ronaldo genes to take over. It could be archers or snooker players the outcome will be the same.

Arytonblue

Conservatory wrote: »

This isn’t about football it’s about the future of the human race man. Basketball stars will also populate a lot of America and Russia and china. But eventually all the little Ronaldo’s with their perfect genes will sleep with the basketball players daughters and their daughters daughters until there is only one. Then as Donald Trump has pointed out a standard flu will wipe out the entire population.

It’s why t Rex’s all look the same. There was a Ronaldo T. rex and they were extinct by homogeneity , meteor in Mexico my a r s e

I have a dream every night that such a meteor will strike Earth again, just so we no longer have to endure 24 hour news cycles, pointless sports that dominate morning headlines, horrible atrocities and (to steal a great George Carlin joke) the ICE CAPADES. Those dinosaurs were asking for it if you ask me, struttin around being all top of the food chain and all, of course they were going to be punished for their arrogance, just like humanity will.

Ronaldo won't save us from an impact collision or shifting of the poles will he? Can he stop the bubonic plague breaking out again? What about a deadly solar flare? In 4 billion years the Sun will literally engulf the Earth, will Ronaldo's offspring free kick or penalty their way out of that? The answer is no. We'll all be toast. The Reaper overlords will be laughing that their work is already done and they can take a day off for the first time in 5 gazillion years.

I don't think I've ever put so much thought in one post, you have earned yourself that honour at least, this thread will most likely get locked or drift into the abyss of 'past the first page of After Hours so no one ever checks that thread again'.

endacl

Arytonblue wrote: »

I have a dream every night that such a meteor will strike Earth again, just so we no longer have to endure 24 hour news cycles, pointless sports that dominate morning headlines, horrible atrocities and (to steal a great George Carlin joke) the ICE CAPADES. Those dinosaurs were asking for it if you ask me, struttin around being all top of the food chain and all, of course they were going to be punished for their arrogance, just like humanity will.

Ronaldo won't save us from an impact collision or shifting of the poles will he? Can he stop the bubonic plague breaking out again? What about a deadly solar flare? In 4 billion years the Sun will literally engulf the Earth, will Ronaldo's offspring free kick or penalty their way out of that? The answer is no. We'll all be toast. The Reaper overlords will be laughing that their work is already done and they can take a day off for the first time in 5 gazillion years.

I don't think I've ever put so much thought in one post, you have earned yourself that honour at least, this thread will most likely get locked or drift into the abyss of 'past the first page of After Hours so no one ever checks that thread again'.

It’s OK. We stopped taking this seriously on the last page. Have a nice sit down and a cuppa. It’ll all be better in the morning.

https://i.imgur.com/qv2BpEU.gifv

That clip and others like it make me question my understanding of evolution. Bird wings? Yeah, makes sense. Looking like an Autumn leaf? That's crazy.

Conservatory

Arytonblue wrote: »

I have a dream every night that such a meteor will strike Earth again, just so we no longer have to endure 24 hour news cycles, pointless sports that dominate morning headlines, horrible atrocities and (to steal a great George Carlin joke) the ICE CAPADES. Those dinosaurs were asking for it if you ask me, struttin around being all top of the food chain and all, of course they were going to be punished for their arrogance, just like humanity will.

Ronaldo won't save us from an impact collision or shifting of the poles will he? Can he stop the bubonic plague breaking out again? What about a deadly solar flare? In 4 billion years the Sun will literally engulf the Earth, will Ronaldo's offspring free kick or penalty their way out of that? The answer is no. We'll all be toast. The Reaper overlords will be laughing that their work is already done and they can take a day off for the first time in 5 gazillion years.

I don't think I've ever put so much thought in one post, you have earned yourself that honour at least, this thread will most likely get locked or drift into the abyss of 'past the first page of After Hours so no one ever checks that thread again'.

Tell me this if any of these global events were to happen who is the best man to fix it. Yep I’d say he could get a degree in quantum physics in a weekend if he wanted to. I’m sure after the first night he’d put the book down and say to himself

Jaysis that’s why the ball swerves like that when I hit it. I never bothered with this book learning before but maybe if I spent another night at it I could save the human race.

Conservatory

[Deleted User] wrote: »

https://i.imgur.com/qv2BpEU.gifv

That clip and others like it make me question my understanding of evolution. Bird wings? Yeah, makes sense. Looking like an Autumn leaf? That's crazy.

It’s simple really. Every time a new baby is born the dice is rolled. Sometimes wings that look like leaves turn up. These freaks live longer and have more babies because predators can’t find them. Their babies are more likely to look like them.

endacl

Deleted User wrote: »

Looking like an Autumn leaf? That's crazy.

Not really. All the earlier butterflies that didn't look like leaves got eaten and didn't reproduce. The tendency to look a-bit-like-a-leaf became a dominant trait. Subsequently, the tendency to look very-like-a-leaf and exactly-like-a-leaf also became dominant in the population. As an aside and hopefully obviously, the butterfly doesn't know it looks like a leaf. It doesn't cultivate the tendency or train, Ronaldo-like, to become better at looking like a leaf.


You'll enjoy the story of the peppered moth. Similar process, over a very short time-scale.

endacl

Conservatory wrote: »

It’s simple really. Every time a new baby is born the dice is rolled. Sometimes wings that look like leaves turn up. These freaks live longer and have more babies because predators can’t find them. Their babies are more likely to look like them.

There's evolution in action! You're getting it now!

Arytonblue

endacl wrote: »

It’s OK. We stopped taking this seriously on the last page. Have a nice sit down and a cuppa. It’ll all be better in the morning.

It's not the booze causing all this existential fear man, it's this damn thread. I was more than happy with the Earth's ultimate demise, then the OP says this uberhuman Ronaldo's potential offspring could apparently uplift the human race and save the day for humanity. All this uncertainty makes one so utterly frazzled to the point of making overly long and incomprehensible posts on Boards.

Cheers for the thoughtful post though, really appreciated in such a time of crisis.

Arytonblue

Conservatory wrote: »

Tell me this if any of these global events were to happen who is the best man to fix it. Yep I’d say he could get a degree in quantum physics in a weekend if he wanted to. I’m sure after the first night he’d put the book down and say to himself

Jaysis that’s why the ball swerves like that when I hit it. I never bothered with this book learning before but maybe if I spent another night at it I could save the human race.

This is a man that missed a critical penalty in a Champions League(I don't call it the 'CL' like all those other fools) final, even after scoring in it and being the best player on the planet that year, he is clearly fallible. Accepting humankind's ultimate demise is very wise as it detaches you from the pain and disappointment from all the things we've achieved being utterly demolished by mother nature and our great friend astronomic probabilities. Ronaldo won't save us, Messi won't save us. Brady, Crosby, Ovechkin, Mike Trout and LeBron won't save us. We're DOOMED. DOOOOOOOOMED.

prinzeugen

Well they say evolution is all about survival of the fittest.

If that is the case then females and thus humans are fecked.

Group of 5 late teen girls attempted to get in the Billy Joel concert with... Tickets for the RDS.

There was 5 of them and not one thought it was strange that they were surrounded by over 30's. They also missed the 10ft tall Aviva Stadium letters on the side of the building!

Thick as ****!

RobbingBandit

Pro Evolution 2008 OP it was the last time Pro EVO was better than Fifa

Wibbs

endacl wrote: »

You'll enjoy the story of the peppered moth. Similar process, over a very short time-scale.

Certainly an example of natural selection, but not evolution as the fully formed trait already existed in the population.

silverharp

Conservatory wrote: »

It is completely 100 per cent what evolution is all about. A species changing to make it more desirable to the opposite sex to have more kids than the rest of the schmos. He will have lots of children. His children will have lots of children. In a thousand years time come feast or famine his bloodline will have the first pick of partners and their children will likely be provided for.

or his kids become spoilt brats, get a complex because they cant match up to dad and wrap their porches around trees on a cocaine fuelled bender (hopefully not)