To parents of children who are over weight, why can't we say anything to you?

sexmag

This is a gripe I really have.

I have many friends on Facebook, lots of whom are great parents, they put up lots of photos and their kids look healthy and happy.

But......there are some who I really wish I could say something to. A woman recently put up a picture, the woman herself is over weight by a lot and is attending slimming world but the photo she put up is of her child who is 4 and must weight at least 6 stone, has clearly defined overweight features,the child is holding a fiber bar from slimming world with the caption "can't keep these away from my princess, she loves them, has good taste like her mam"

I can't stand it, the child should not be that overweight. The problem is if I or anyone was to say anything even in the slightest about the child's health we will be crucified and told to mind our own business. Children have no control over portion size or the food they eat, the need responsible intervention, they are not getting it from the parent's or to a lesser extent the schools. This child with out a doubt will grow up to be obese as the mother joins these groups for about 4 weeks and then gives up, leaving the child to basically what she eats

I wish I could say what I really feel for the child sake without sounding like a busy body, am I wrong in feeling this way?

Edit: I have kids but I'm not a health freak, my kids eat normal food and take away on occasion when their good,we over indulge too at times like any family but not to extent they are over weight

Mysterypunter

No you are not, but everyone is equal now, so you can't have an opinion

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

sexmag wrote: »

This is a gripe I really have.

I have many friends on Facebook, lots of whom are great parents, they put up lots of photos and their kids look healthy and happy.

But......there are some who I really wish I could say something to. A woman recently put up a picture, the woman herself is over weight by a lot and is attending slimming world but the photo she put up is of her child who is 4 and must weight at least 6 stone, has clearly defined overweight features,the child is holding a fiber bar from slimming world with the caption "can't keep these away from my princess, she loves them, has good taste like her mam"

I can't stand it, the child should not be that overweight. The problem is if I or anyone was to say anything even in the slightest about the child's health we will be crucified and told to mind our own business. Children have no control over portion size or the food they eat, the need responsible intervention, they are not getting it from the parent's or to a lesser extent the schools. This child with out a doubt will grow up to be obese as the mother joins these groups for about 4 weeks and then gives up, leaving the child honest basically what she eats

I wish I could say what I really feel for the child sake without sounding like a busy body, am I wrong in feeling this way?

Well, you could, but then expect people tell you to fcuk off.

Twenty Grand

You're not wrong. But there's nothing more self righteous than a parent.

Besides, sure you don't have kids, so you couldn't possibly understand :rolleyes:

amcalester

She’s not fat, she’s just big boned.

RhubarbCrumble

amcalester wrote: »

She’s not fat, she’s just big boned.

You mean she's 'strong'.

Dravokivich

To a strangers kid I don't know why it's happening, I ain't going to pass comment on it as it may be something someone is struggling to handle. If it was a kid of Friends or family, I'd bring it up, but try to do so from a supportive point of view.

banie01

Cos
it's Glandular,
It's a side effect of the steroids they take for their asthma,
They're just big boned....

All things I have had said to me by the parents(Well 1 parent, who browbeats the other any time a positive change is tried) of a child who at 10y.o was over 4'6" and over 10.5 stone and inhaled food.
The only time the kid ever wheezed was when they had to look for the remote or rush to the bathroom.
Seriously, a bout of bronchitis at 3(when the kid was already overweight) and no instance of short breath from anything other than exertion since then!
As for food, it's sad to see the poor kid is fed as a substitute for actual attention.

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

_Dara_

Nobody likes a busybody, OP.

Bredabe

If OP isn't a Dietician or HCP, what can they do to 'help'?

Prominent_Dawg

I think the idea of you saying something suggests you have the child's interests prioritised more than the child's own parent, therefore you're contradicting their parenting, and when it comes to our own children I think the majority of us like to think we do the best for them.. however I agree its not right!

_Dara_

Bredabe wrote: »

If OP isn't a Dietician or HCP, what can they do to 'help'?

Aye, there’s only a very small amount of people for whom it’s appropriate to say something. Otherwise, it’s just sticking one’s beak into something that isn’t their business.

wexie

That's 2 overweight kids threads today

Is it cause the sun is out and they're all going round without jumpers and coats?

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057886384

sexmag

_Dara_ wrote: »

Aye, there’s only a very small amount of people for whom it’s appropriate to say something. Otherwise, it’s just sticking one’s beak into something that isn’t their business.

If i was a doctor it would be ok for me to say it id assume.

I feel for the kid but ultimately I can't do anything, it's not like I can ring Tusla for a child being overvweight

wexie

sexmag wrote: »

If i was a doctor it would be ok for me to say it id assume.

Saying something is one thing, being able to actually get through to the parents and encouraging some form of change is something else entirely.

Even if a dr said something I'd have to guess a lot of these people will simply not take it on board.

Filmer Paradise

Never ever underestimate how stupid a lot of people are. Half the country are digging their own graves with knives and forks as we speak.

I just can't believe the number of outright obese people around these days.

It seems over the last 20 years or so, half the population didn't care how fat they get & the other half became Gym-bunnies or are running the legs off themselves or becoming Vegan or whatever...

It's all gone to total extremes.

bazz26

If someone was sitting outside a pub having a pint and a cigarette, and a total stranger walked up and lectured them that drinking and smoking is seriously damaging to their health. I think we all know what most people would say or worse do to that person? Look after your own affairs and stay out of other people's imo the same way you wouldn't want someone else telling you how you should live your life.

Yer Da sells Avon

Before focusing on other people's lives, maybe ask yourself why you feel the need to offer unsolicited advice in the first place? Is it really because you care, or are you merely lamenting the fact that behaving like a dick will result in people calling you one?

Bredabe

sexmag wrote: »

If i was a doctor it would be ok for me to say it id assume.

I feel for the kid but ultimately I can't do anything, it's not like I can ring Tusla for a child being overvweight

You may or may not be listened to, but my thinking is that someone who isn't an HCP who can be of some use about the situation, its just enforcing thinking without full knowledge on someone who does have full knowledge.

* Given the length of waiting lists, and the lack of diagnostics know how there could well be an underlying issue only a TMP can advise on correctly.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

sexmag wrote: »

This is a gripe I really have.

I have many friends on Facebook, lots of whom are great parents, they put up lots of photos and their kids look healthy and happy.

But......there are some who I really wish I could say something to. A woman recently put up a picture, the woman herself is over weight by a lot and is attending slimming world but the photo she put up is of her child who is 4 and must weight at least 6 stone, has clearly defined overweight features,the child is holding a fiber bar from slimming world with the caption "can't keep these away from my princess, she loves them, has good taste like her mam"

I can't stand it, the child should not be that overweight. The problem is if I or anyone was to say anything even in the slightest about the child's health we will be crucified and told to mind our own business. Children have no control over portion size or the food they eat, the need responsible intervention, they are not getting it from the parent's or to a lesser extent the schools. This child with out a doubt will grow up to be obese as the mother joins these groups for about 4 weeks and then gives up, leaving the child to basically what she eats

I wish I could say what I really feel for the child sake without sounding like a busy body, am I wrong in feeling this way?

Edit: I have kids but I'm not a health freak, my kids eat normal food and take away on occasion when their good,we over indulge too at times like any family but not to extent they are over weight

You seem to have uncovered new evidence about the relationship between genetics and weight - why aren't you talking to scientists instead of posting here...?

_Dara_

sexmag wrote: »

If i was a doctor it would be ok for me to say it id assume.

I feel for the kid but ultimately I can't do anything, it's not like I can ring Tusla for a child being overvweight

Of course. Are you the child’s GP?

Bredabe

wexie wrote: »

That's 2 overweight kids threads today

Is it cause the sun is out and they're all going round without jumpers and coats?

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057886384

I spotted that as well and the broad popular dietary advice was scary and it could make some conditions actually worse.

I have a friend who is naturally skinny(its a gene thing), she hates this weather as it makes her body issues worse. Harder for her to ignore more rounded 'feminine' shaped women.

sexmag

bazz26 wrote: »

If someone was sitting outside a pub having a pint and a cigarette, and a total stranger walked up and lectured them that drinking and smoking is seriously damaging to their health. I think we all know what most people would say or worse do to that person? Look after your own affairs and stay out of other people's imo the same way you wouldn't want someone else telling you how you should live your life.

I know this person well,it's not a random stranger, our children are good friends for years, it would come from a place of love for the child's well being. Not some randomner being an arse. I'd appreciate any constructive advice given to me in my life if it would obviously help and was said in the right way. Lots of people can't or won't see the effect they have on their children and it's a serious serious thing they need to realise, food is not something kids can have when they want, fried food and junk food especially, it leads to obesity and these parents would be the first to say "well no one said to me their were over weight for their age" but then it will be too late

Sleeper12

Mysterypunter wrote:

No you are not, but everyone is equal now, so you can't have an opinion

Nothing wrong with having an opinion. That doesn't mean we shouldn't have manners.

Fighting Tao

It’s your name that’s the problem. I don’t think any parent would want someone called sexmag looking at their children in any way yet alone talking about them.

Sleeper12

sexmag wrote:

I know this person well,it's not a random stranger, our children are good friends for years, it would come from a place of love for the child's well being. Not some randomner being an arse. I'd appreciate any constructive advice given to me in my life if it would obviously help and was said in the right way. Lots of people can't or won't see the effect they have on their children and it's a serious serious thing they need to realise, food is not something kids can have when they want, fried food and junk food especially, it leads to obesity and these parents would be the first to say "well no one said to me their were over weight for their age" but then it will be too late

Would you criticise them if they smoked in the house or in the same car as the kids?

Hitman3000

Two threads in the same day about overweight kids?....mmmm...

Prominent_Dawg

Hapax Legomenon wrote: »

Before focusing on other people's lives, maybe ask yourself why you feel the need to offer unsolicited advice in the first place? Is it really because you care, or are you merely lamenting the fact that behaving like a dick will result in people calling you one?

You know what they say about problems... '20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them'.. It's not your problem!

_Dara_

sugarman wrote: »

I remember 20 years ago in primary school there was maybe one fat kid per class...

...yesterday a whole class of school kids walked past me on a nature walk with their teacher in the park, every single one of them was overweight with one or two being obese.

I seriously doubt they were all overweight. Or even half of them.

bazz26

sexmag wrote: »

I know this person well,it's not a random stranger, our children are good friends for years, it would come from a place of love for the child's well being. Not some randomner being an arse. I'd appreciate any constructive advice given to me in my life if it would obviously help and was said in the right way. Lots of people can't or won't see the effect they have on their children and it's a serious serious thing they need to realise, food is not something kids can have when they want, fried food and junk food especially, it leads to obesity and these parents would be the first to say "well no one said to me their were over weight for their age" but then it will be too late

Stranger or not you seem to be missing the point, the majority of people don't like it when others tell them how they think they should live or how they should be raising their children, no matter how right you think it is. It's really none of your business no matter how much you think it.

AfterLife

It should be someone's business if a child is obese. It's abuse.

_Dara_

AfterLife wrote: »

It should be someone's business if a child is obese. It's abuse.

Then the relevant people should deal with it. Not Busybody McCurtain-Twitcher.

Recliner

Sleeper12 wrote: »

Would you criticise them if they smoked in the house or in the same car as the kids?

I'd hope they would.

goz83

_Dara_ wrote: »

I seriously doubt they were all overweight. Or even half of them.

You would be surprised. The school my sisters kids attend have more than half overweight kids. It’s terrible. The school my brother sends his kids has a morning routine of doing a lap around the local park because of the growing obesity issue. It’s a lot less prominent at the school my kids attend, but it’s still much higher than the 1 in 30 we had 2 decades ago.

_Dara_

goz83 wrote: »

You would be surprised. The school my sisters kids attend have more than half overweight kids. It’s terrible. The school my brother sends his kids has a morning routine of doing a lap around the local park because of the growing obesity issue. It’s a lot less prominent at the school my kids attend, but it’s still much higher than the 1 in 30 we had 2 decades ago.

That poster said they were all overweight. Not believable.

Filmer Paradise

goz83 wrote: »

You would be surprised. The school my sisters kids attend have more than half overweight kids. It’s terrible. The school my brother sends his kids has a morning routine of doing a lap around the local park because of the growing obesity issue. It’s a lot less prominent at the school my kids attend, but it’s still much higher than the 1 in 30 we had 2 decades ago.

If this is correct, well there's an awful lot of stupid no brain parents out there.

Imagine letting your child get fat? Think about it.

They have a problem at 6 or 7 years old. What hope do they have for the future?

I'm a parent myself. Not perfect, mind you. In fact by modern standards..........An awld bollix really.

I say No to my kids sometimes when they want all kinds of crap.

I give them what they need (hopefully). The rest they can get when they can pay for it themselves.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

AfterLife wrote: »

It should be someone's business if a child is obese. It's abuse.

Only if the parents arent doing anything to improve the child's health.

whisky_galore

wexie wrote: »

That's 2 overweight kids threads today

Is it cause the sun is out and they're all going round without jumpers and coats?

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057886384

The pitter-patter of a herd of baby elephants.

Liam McPoyle

sexmag wrote: »

This is a gripe I really have.

I have many friends on Facebook, lots of whom are great parents, they put up lots of photos and their kids look healthy and happy.

But......there are some who I really wish I could say something to. A woman recently put up a picture, the woman herself is over weight by a lot and is attending slimming world but the photo she put up is of her child who is 4 and must weight at least 6 stone, has clearly defined overweight features,the child is holding a fiber bar from slimming world with the caption "can't keep these away from my princess, she loves them, has good taste like her mam"

I can't stand it, the child should not be that overweight. The problem is if I or anyone was to say anything even in the slightest about the child's health we will be crucified and told to mind our own business. Children have no control over portion size or the food they eat, the need responsible intervention, they are not getting it from the parent's or to a lesser extent the schools. This child with out a doubt will grow up to be obese as the mother joins these groups for about 4 weeks and then gives up, leaving the child to basically what she eats

I wish I could say what I really feel for the child sake without sounding like a busy body, am I wrong in feeling this way?

Edit: I have kids but I'm not a health freak, my kids eat normal food and take away on occasion when their good,we over indulge too at times like any family but not to extent they are over weight

You should just post tag her in this on a daily basis til she gets the message.

LucyIrish06

I was overweight as a kid, my mum and dad weren't together and when i spent my weekends with my dad he use to spoil me with whatever food i wanted, my mum was a chef so there was always food lying around the house during the week. I got bullied a lot in school because of my weight, i basically use to be called a man (just imagine been 12,13,14.. and this been said to you on a daily basis) it really effected me and i just cant stop feeling sorry for these overweight kids knowing that they will more than likely go through the same thing as myself and the parents dont realize that. They think its ok because they are "treating" their child, making themselves feel as if they are great parents when in fact they are just ruining their kids most vulnerable years.
Because I was overweight for all of my childhood it scarred me in my adult life, social anxiety, low self esteem etc etc and im still trying to re-build myself.
I really hope parents will realize this.

professore

bazz26 wrote: »

If someone was sitting outside a pub having a pint and a cigarette, and a total stranger walked up and lectured them that drinking and smoking is seriously damaging to their health. I think we all know what most people would say or worse do to that person? Look after your own affairs and stay out of other people's imo the same way you wouldn't want someone else telling you how you should live your life.

What if they were beating the **** out of their 4 year old? Should you mind your own business then? There's a difference between ****ing up your own life and ****ing up your kids life.

professore

LucyIrish06 wrote: »

I was overweight as a kid, my mum and dad weren't together and when i spent my weekends with my dad he use to spoil me with whatever food i wanted, my mum was a chef so there was always food lying around the house during the week. I got bullied a lot in school because of my weight, i basically use to be called a man (just imagine been 12,13,14.. and this been said to you on a daily basis) it really effected me and i just cant stop feeling sorry for these overweight kids knowing that they will more than likely go through the same thing as myself and the parents dont realize that. They think its ok because they are "treating" their child, making themselves feel as if they are great parents when in fact they are just ruining their kids most vulnerable years.
Because I was overweight for all of my childhood it scarred me in my adult life, social anxiety, low self esteem etc etc and im still trying to re-build myself.
I really hope parents will realize this.

I was overweight too. Fought hard in my teens and lost the weight. Can confirm this.

bazz26

bazz26 wrote: »

Stranger or not you seem to be missing the point, the majority of people don't like it when others tell them how they think they should live or how they should be raising their children, no matter how right you think it is. It's really none of your business no matter how much you think it.

I dunno. Doesn't seem to stop various people from commenting on other parts of peoples lives. It's just when a child is overweight that we have a taboo on speaking.

For myself, I find it to be a ridiculous taboo. This country has changed so much in the last 20 years with kids becoming obviously 'fat'. Relying on a sugar tax, isn't going to do much. Maybe it would be better to encourage society to comment on such things.

Try_harder

This reads like a Daily Mail headline.

LucyIrish06

professore wrote: »

I was overweight too. Fought hard in my teens and lost the weight. Can confirm this.

Same, we shouldn't of had to struggle to loose the weight our parents made us put on. But unfortunately we did, we struggled but we got there in the end. It was unfair to put us through this but they didn't understand how it would effect us down the long road. Im sure if our parents would of realized the long term effects things would of been different, maybe even had a normal enough child hood (I.e, not been bullied)

neris

we had a kid in our after school last year was very over weight. 4.5/5 year old wearing 8 year olds clothes at start of school year then 9 yos by xmas. mother in complete denial saying kid was growing taller (unless you grow taller sideways). see the same kid at school now 5 yo and barley any neck and moobs. last week on way out of school kids were climbing up and over a railings and this kid could barely pull their feet of the ground. parents couldnt deal with the kid at home when younger so sat the kid down at home with an ipad and a big bag of crisps in the evening to shut em up. sad state of affairs but when youve parents who are so engrossed in themselves and their own life this is what happens

Try_harder

Try_harder wrote: »

This reads like a Daily Mail headline.

Why? Seems like a genuinely good question to me. Why can't we comment on other parents with obese or overweight children?

If some parents were encouraging their kid to smoke cigarettes, I'd imagine plenty of people wouldn't hesitate to say something to them.

cbyrd

sexmag wrote:

I wish I could say what I really feel for the child sake without sounding like a busy body, am I wrong in feeling this way?

No, you're not wrong for feeling this way but, you're wrong if you open your mouth in judgement. Their lifestyle is not the same as yours and you are not living their life . But if your concern is so big why not offer to take their child to the park/playground everyday for an hour. Put your energy where your mouth is.
Judgy parents make my head ache.

neris

sexmag wrote: »

I wish I could say what I really feel for the child sake without sounding like a busy body, am I wrong in feeling this way?

instead of making a personal comment or getting involved with the parent you could always report the childs weight issues as a child welfare concern to Tusla. Might sound a bit extreme but you dont know whats going on behind closed doors and maybe the parent is struggling themselves with out help

Idle Passerby

Parents already know when their kids are fat. Presumably they all have eyes in their heads or failing that, they hug their kids from find to time. Pointing out facts that people are busy ignoring, generally just pisses them off.