To parents of children who are over weight, why can't we say anything to you?

If a child was malnourished because the parents were not feeding them then there would be calls for Tusla, social services etc to get involved. But when it's the opposite there doesn't seem to be any concern. These kids will grow up thinking being obese is the norm and will put even more pressure on an already over-strained HSE.

_Dara_

Deleted User wrote: »

Why? Seems like a genuinely good question to me. Why can't we comment on other parents with obese or overweight children?

If some parents were encouraging their kid to smoke cigarettes, I'd imagine plenty of people wouldn't hesitate to say something to them.

Outline how you’d approach said parents.

Children being encouraged to smoke by their parents is unlikely but I bet you still wouldn’t say anything!

_Dara_

downtheroad wrote: »

If a child was malnourished because the parents were not feeding them then there would be calls for Tusla, social services etc to get involved. But when it's the opposite there doesn't seem to be any concern. These kids will grow up thinking being obese is the norm and will put even more pressure on an already over-strained HSE.

Aaah, obese kids can be malnourished as can obese adults. If the food is low-nutrition, they can still be deficient in vitamins and minerals.

Malayalam

I can understand people saying it's nosy, or judgmental, but it is pretty horrid watching some of the child rearing practices that go on. Back in the days when my kids were small you'd often enough end up chatting through car windows to a woman who was chain-smoking with her kids in the back of the car. Of course it's impossible to say anything. I see people in supermarkets giving their kids anything they wail for. Kids on iPads. On mobile phones. Chawing on chocolate bars that are way too big for them - I remember when there were adult treats - your Mam would get a Fry's mint cream bar and your Da a Mars, and then the kids would get the penny sweets or smaller bars. And only the odd time, like if ye went to a football match or something, or on a Sunday. Yeah, look it, we might have bought a quarter of bulls eyes and ate them in a sitting, but it was not day in day out. Kids eat shyte 24/7 now. Not just the sweets but the trans fats in cakes and pastries and doughy breads, and the insane amount of sugar in processed supposedly 'savoury' foods. It is soooooooooooooo bad for them. It's one thing to be judgy about their appearance, but their poor fecking pancreas and liver, their arteries, their hearts, the plaque that will gather in their brains, Jesus, these kids could die before their parents due to being overfed absolute junk like veal calves. It's quite gruesome.

_Dara_

_Dara_ wrote: »

Outline how you’d approach said parents.

Children being encouraged to smoke by their parents is unlikely but I bet you still wouldn’t say anything!

Why wouldn't I? I don't really get this tip-toeing around subjects. In most cases, what parents do with their children doesn't bother me, but some things are obviously irresponsible and dangerous to their children.

I wouldn't approach a complete stranger and tell them what I think, but with friends, I would. And I wouldn't be subtle about it. It's up to them whether they want to accept my opinion or not.

The smoking example is simply an example, to put it into perspective. The point being that people wouldn't hesitate to talk about a parent who encourages their kid to smoke, but can't do the same with obesity. Both are unhealthy behaviors.

Encouraging eating disorders, overweight or obesity, is extremely dangerous to children both for the health and social aspects. It doesn't stop after they become teens or adults, but will likely continue afterward. God knows, I've seen the way that women complain about how difficult it is to lose some weight to put on that bikini... but the weight that these kids have is often so much more than that.

A parent giving their kids 10 smokes a day with a shot of vodka would be doing less damage to a kid than if they were making them obese. Whose business would that be?

I guarantee you'd all be over in the pub to have a word with a parent doing that with your own little fatarse whale sitting there with their crisps and coke.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Deleted User wrote: »

Why? Seems like a genuinely good question to me. Why can't we comment on other parents with obese or overweight children?

If some parents were encouraging their kid to smoke cigarettes, I'd imagine plenty of people wouldn't hesitate to say something to them.

The context of the headline/thread title is "can't" as in 'unable to'; not "can't" as in 'not allowed to'.

As to why? Well, you tell me. My guess is that it's because you're unable to conduct basic scientific research into genetics and causes of obesity and form an independent opinion; but feel free to prove me wrong or offer an alternative hypothesis.
Case in point? You think the sole cause of obesity is the adults encouraging their kids to eat junk food (based on the last paragraph anyway)

It is kind of hypocritical when people accuse the parents of being lazy and encouraging unhealthy thinking...

_Dara_

Deleted User wrote: »

Why wouldn't I? I don't really get this tip-toeing around subjects. In most cases, what parents do with their children doesn't bother me, but some things are obviously irresponsible and dangerous to their children.

I wouldn't approach a complete stranger and tell them what I think, but with friends, I would. And I wouldn't be subtle about it. It's up to them whether they want to accept my opinion or not.

The smoking example is simply an example, to put it into perspective. The point being that people wouldn't hesitate to talk about a parent who encourages their kid to smoke, but can't do the same with obesity. Both are unhealthy behaviors.

Encouraging eating disorders, overweight or obesity, is extremely dangerous to children both for the health and social aspects. It doesn't stop after they become teens or adults, but will likely continue afterward. God knows, I've seen the way that women complain about how difficult it is to lose some weight to put on that bikini... but the weight that these kids have is often so much more than that.

Why wouldn’t you? Because talk is cheap. You’re blustering on a messageboard.

Oh and the reason it’s important to tread carefully and for only qualified people to get involved is that you could give a child a complex over their weight if you don’t know what you’re doing. That’s what leads to eating disorders.

Shenshen

sexmag wrote: »

This is a gripe I really have.

I have many friends on Facebook, lots of whom are great parents, they put up lots of photos and their kids look healthy and happy.

But......there are some who I really wish I could say something to. A woman recently put up a picture, the woman herself is over weight by a lot and is attending slimming world but the photo she put up is of her child who is 4 and must weight at least 6 stone, has clearly defined overweight features,the child is holding a fiber bar from slimming world with the caption "can't keep these away from my princess, she loves them, has good taste like her mam"

I can't stand it, the child should not be that overweight. The problem is if I or anyone was to say anything even in the slightest about the child's health we will be crucified and told to mind our own business. Children have no control over portion size or the food they eat, the need responsible intervention, they are not getting it from the parent's or to a lesser extent the schools. This child with out a doubt will grow up to be obese as the mother joins these groups for about 4 weeks and then gives up, leaving the child to basically what she eats

I wish I could say what I really feel for the child sake without sounding like a busy body, am I wrong in feeling this way?

Edit: I have kids but I'm not a health freak, my kids eat normal food and take away on occasion when their good,we over indulge too at times like any family but not to extent they are over weight

So it's not that you can't say anything, it's that you dislike them saying something back?

jobless

i wouldnt have the nerve to say anything to a complete stranger but if it was close family i might.... and i mean immediate family....

as others have said, feeding your child to the point of obesity is abuse the same as underfeeding them and it should be treated that way....
I think schools should have a duty to report it and those families paid a visit by social services....

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

The context of the headline/thread title is "can't" as in 'unable to'; not "can't" as in 'not allowed to'.

Ahh... Semantics. Gotta love someone who feels to point out the obvious on a thread.

As to why? Well, you tell me. My guess is that it's because you're unable to conduct basic scientific research into genetics and causes of obesity and form an independent opinion; but feel free to prove me wrong or offer an alternative hypothesis.
Case in point? You think the sole cause of obesity is the adults encouraging their kids to eat junk food (based on the last paragraph anyway)

Except that I didn't mention Junk Food or any causes for obesity anywhere in any of my posts... Which is very suggestive of where you're coming from. You're so quick to dismiss/oppose my post, and that you went on a totally unrelated tangent. :rolleyes:

Perhaps deal with what I have written?

Howard the Duck

You could always reply and put the focus on the protein bar, telling them to be careful that those bars are normally just for adults and for post workout.

lawred2

sexmag wrote: »

This is a gripe I really have.

I have many friends on Facebook, lots of whom are great parents, they put up lots of photos and their kids look healthy and happy.

But......there are some who I really wish I could say something to. A woman recently put up a picture, the woman herself is over weight by a lot and is attending slimming world but the photo she put up is of her child who is 4 and must weight at least 6 stone, has clearly defined overweight features,the child is holding a fiber bar from slimming world with the caption "can't keep these away from my princess, she loves them, has good taste like her mam"

I can't stand it, the child should not be that overweight. The problem is if I or anyone was to say anything even in the slightest about the child's health we will be crucified and told to mind our own business. Children have no control over portion size or the food they eat, the need responsible intervention, they are not getting it from the parent's or to a lesser extent the schools. This child with out a doubt will grow up to be obese as the mother joins these groups for about 4 weeks and then gives up, leaving the child to basically what she eats

I wish I could say what I really feel for the child sake without sounding like a busy body, am I wrong in feeling this way?

Edit: I have kids but I'm not a health freak, my kids eat normal food and take away on occasion when their good,we over indulge too at times like any family but not to extent they are over weight

honestly - it ain't your problem. Do your best by your kids and keep your counsel to yourself.

_Dara_

_Dara_ wrote: »

Why wouldn’t you? Because talk is cheap. You’re blustering on a messageboard.

Nah. I'm not going to brawl with you. And you're obviously not worth discussing anything with, if this is your attitude. Bloody hell.

_Dara_

Deleted User wrote: »

Nah. I'm not going to brawl with you. And you're obviously not worth discussing anything with, if this is your attitude. Bloody hell.

I notice you cropped out the rest of my post.

_Dara_

_Dara_ wrote: »

I notice you cropped out the rest of my post.

Course I did. As I mentioned, no point discussing anything with you when you have so little respect for the poster.

bee06

Do we really need two threads about fat children?

SEPT 23 1989

bee06 wrote: »

Do we really need two threads about fat children?

we are giving the people who live in council houses a rest today so the fat kids are getting it on the double

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Deleted User wrote: »

Ahh... Semantics. Gotta love someone who feels to point out the obvious on a thread.

Well why the bloody hell did you ask if you already knew the answer?!

Except that I didn't mention Junk Food or any causes for obesity anywhere in any of my posts... Which is very suggestive of where you're coming from. You're so quick to dismiss/oppose my post, and that you went on a totally unrelated tangent. :rolleyes:

Perhaps deal with what I have written?

Here's what you wrote:

Deleted User wrote: »

If some parents were encouraging their kid to smoke cigarettes, I'd imagine plenty of people wouldn't hesitate to say something to them.

So, if this does not imply that you believe the cause of obesity to be parents "encouraging" their kid to eat junk food; why make the comparison to smoking?

_Dara_

Deleted User wrote: »

Course I did. As I mentioned, no point discussing anything with you when you have so little respect for the poster.

I don’t believe what you’re saying. What are you gonna do?

_Dara_

_Dara_ wrote: »

I don’t believe what you’re saying. What are you gonna do?

:rolleyes:

Grayson

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

we are giving the people who live in council houses a rest today so the fat kids are getting it on the double

Fat people are the new travellers.

padd b1975

RhubarbCrumble wrote: »

You mean she's 'strong'.

Bubbly.

Seth Brundle

Grayson wrote: »

Fat people are the new travellers.

What about fat travellers?

handlemaster

cbyrd wrote: »

sexmag wrote:

I wish I could say what I really feel for the child sake without sounding like a busy body, am I wrong in feeling this way?

No, you're not wrong for feeling this way but, you're wrong if you open your mouth in judgement. Their lifestyle is not the same as yours and you are not living their life . But if your concern is so big why not offer to take their child to the park/playground everyday for an hour. Put your energy where your mouth is.
Judgy parents make my head ache.[/quote

You mean do what their parents arent !

Captain Obvious

sexmag wrote: »

This is a gripe I really have.

I have many friends on Facebook, lots of whom are great parents, they put up lots of photos and their kids look healthy and happy.

But......there are some who I really wish I could say something to. A woman recently put up a picture, the woman herself is over weight by a lot and is attending slimming world but the photo she put up is of her child who is 4 and must weight at least 6 stone, has clearly defined overweight features,the child is holding a fiber bar from slimming world with the caption "can't keep these away from my princess, she loves them, has good taste like her mam"

I can't stand it, the child should not be that overweight. The problem is if I or anyone was to say anything even in the slightest about the child's health we will be crucified and told to mind our own business. Children have no control over portion size or the food they eat, the need responsible intervention, they are not getting it from the parent's or to a lesser extent the schools. This child with out a doubt will grow up to be obese as the mother joins these groups for about 4 weeks and then gives up, leaving the child to basically what she eats

I wish I could say what I really feel for the child sake without sounding like a busy body, am I wrong in feeling this way?

Edit: I have kids but I'm not a health freak, my kids eat normal food and take away on occasion when their good,we over indulge too at times like any family but not to extent they are over weight

Do you mean post it on her page or talk to her privately?

Captain Obvious

Captain Obvious wrote: »

Do you mean post it on her page or talk to her privately?

He's clarified that he knows her well and their kids are friends. I would presume privately.

B0jangles

I thinks its fairly safe to assume that the posters who are most enthusiastic about telling other people how fat their kids are, are probably the ones least able to express that opinion in a way that doesn't come off incredibly dickish.

If the aim is to help kids grow up healthier, there are other, better way to achieve that.
If, on the other hand, the aim is to have a little fun lecturing other people about their terrible parenting, then you're all set!

goz83

_Dara_ wrote: »

That poster said they were all overweight. Not believable.

It's subjective to what you believe is overweight though. If you can't see a kids cheekbones, then they are probably a bit over weight alright. If their face is particularly round, then they are probably fat. If they have no neck, the parents should not be allowed to parent any longer....save for some diagnosed illness/disorder the kid has despite an otherwise healthy diet.

Filmer Paradise wrote: »

If this is correct, well there's an awful lot of stupid no brain parents out there.

Imagine letting your child get fat? Think about it.

They have a problem at 6 or 7 years old. What hope do they have for the future?

I'm a parent myself. Not perfect, mind you. In fact by modern standards..........An awld bollix really.

I say No to my kids sometimes when they want all kinds of crap.

I give them what they need (hopefully). The rest they can get when they can pay for it themselves.

Stupid, self absorbed, arrogant, unwell. A major problem today is not just the extraordinary amount of junk available to kids, where they eat junk every day in their lunch and after school. They are also fed processed and frozen food, because fish fingers are easier than frying up a real fish! Then the kids spend the whole day glued to a screen...be it gaming, texting, or TV.

I'm like you. I don't often give junk to my kids. I love fast food (my problem...not theirs), but rarely do the kids have any. We always have junk in the house, but we don't let ourselves or the kids binge on it. I don't understand why people find it so hard to cook a healthy meal (take 15 minutes) and get out of the house for a half hour to get away from the screens.

_Dara_ wrote: »

Outline how you’d approach said parents.

Children being encouraged to smoke by their parents is unlikely but I bet you still wouldn’t say anything!

The thread is not about approaching strangers to talk about their kids being obese....it's about people you know beyond the realms of facebook and instagram. So, would you really say nothing if a family member or friend was encouraging their child to smoke?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

As to why? Well, you tell me. My guess is that it's because you're unable to conduct basic scientific research into genetics and causes of obesity and form an independent opinion; but feel free to prove me wrong or offer an alternative hypothesis.
Case in point? You think the sole cause of obesity is the adults encouraging their kids to eat junk food (based on the last paragraph anyway)

It is kind of hypocritical when people accuse the parents of being lazy and encouraging unhealthy thinking...

The causes of obesity and overwhelmingly attributed to over eating and lack of exercise. The overwhelming number of people with weight issues, or who have fat kids use genetic predisposition, or glandular issues as the excuse for the weight. I treated hundreds of people with weight issues and I found it amazing that people were self-diagnosing themselves with every excuse in the book.

NOT accepting responsibility for your fat a$$ is the worst thing you can do for yourself or your child in relation to weight issues. The vast vast vast majority of overweight people do not suffer from any illness or genetic predisposition for weight. They simply eat more than they burn...it's a numbers game.

The primary reason kids are overweight is their guardian(s) encouraging it, yes. If you feed your child appropriately and ensure they exercise, they will not likely be over weight. If you can't keep your kid away from the cookie jar....don't buy cookies. If someone else is feeding your kid junk...have words with them. FFS people tell their neighbours not to feed the cat, but can't tell their siblings, or the grandparents to hold off on the Snickers and Fanta.

Oh and having a genetic predisposition to obesity does not mean you will be obese. It just increases the chances. Kind of like genetic risk to cancer, or dementia. In all cases, steps can be taken to reduce the risk.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

goz83 wrote: »

The causes of obesity and overwhelmingly attributed to over eating and lack of exercise. The overwhelming number of people with weight issues, or who have fat kids use genetic predisposition, or glandular issues as the excuse for the weight. I treated hundreds of people with weight issues and I found it amazing that people were self-diagnosing themselves with every excuse in the book.

Oh, I'm not dismissing poor nutritional knowledge as an excuse - I know it happens - but not in 100% of the cases. Glandular and genetic causes are pretty easy to determine, I would image, as are parental causes.

But to automatically compare ANY parent of an overweight child with one who encourages their child to smoke, as the poster I was replying to did...? That's just ignorance.

NOT accepting responsibility for your fat a$$ is the worst thing you can do for yourself or your child in relation to weight issues. The vast vast vast majority of overweight people do not suffer from any illness or genetic predisposition for weight. They simply eat more than they burn...it's a numbers game.

The primary reason kids are overweight is their guardian(s) encouraging it, yes. If you feed your child appropriately and ensure they exercise, they will not likely be over weight. If you can't keep your kid away from the cookie jar....don't buy cookies. If someone else is feeding your kid junk...have words with them. FFS people tell their neighbours not to feed the cat, but can't tell their siblings, or the grandparents to hold off on the Snickers and Fanta.

Nothing Id' disagree with here - but education would help too. A lot of these parents simply don't know how to structure a good nutritional balanced diet. For themselves as well as for their kids.

Calling them abusive, though, should be the last call of action, not the first.