People offering advice on new baby

Sleeper12

catrionanic wrote:

If you re-read my post, you'll see I asked for research, ie. evidence to support your claim from sources that actually do know what they're talking about. I'm talking scientific studies and journals, not what somebody's daughter who works in a creche reckons.

The who don't say to breastfeed children to 4 & over. I don't suppose you can show any research that suggests breastfeeding at this age is a good thing?

bee06

Sleeper12 wrote: »

The who don't say to breastfeed children to 4 & over. I don't suppose you can show any research that suggests breastfeeding at this age is a good thing?

This is that WHO say:
WHO recommends mothers worldwide to exclusively breastfeed infants for the child's first six months to achieve optimal growth, development and health. Thereafter, they should be given nutritious complementary foods and continue breastfeeding up to the age of two years or beyond.

4 is beyond 2 last time I checked

http://www.who.int/mediacentre/news/statements/2011/breastfeeding_20110115/en/

Sleeper12

bee06 wrote:

4 is beyond 2 last time I checked

So is 60 but let's be real here. Who definitely don't recommend 4 years of age. The benefits of the milk are far outweighed by the risk of damaging the child's mental and social development

jlm29

I know plenty clingy kids who never got anything as a baby only formula out of a bottle. One of my colleagues went through 4 childminders and crèches because her baby screamed the place down in every single one (I’m pretty sure she was asked to remove him from one crèche and two childminders). He was formula fed always, is now 4 and remains super clingy.
My own one year old is still breastfed, but I drop him to the childminders every day at 8.30, he waves me off, and I pick him up at five all smiles. No one would know I still feed unless they happen to be looking in the window at bedtime.

Some kids are clingy. Some aren’t. It’s personality, and certainly parenting to a degree, but it generally isn’t related to nutrition.

pwurple

The sleeping in your bed thing is probably coming from a good place. Any of us who have experienced Sudden Infant Death know it's a risk. I wouldn't wish the death of a baby in their bed on my worst enemy. If someone told me they were doing it, I'd ask if they were aware of SIDS and how to prevent sleep related infant deaths, and if they were, leave it at that. 
But yes, I hear you on the advice. 

Ditto on absolute trash being peddled by everyone and anyone. Family with baby = money spinning prime target as far as I can see. Completely unnecessary stuff being hawked at you at every moment. Teething "aids" (wtf), weaning equipment (double wft), every manner of gizmo and gadget going for entertainment, when the world is a very entertaining place for a baby all on it's own.  A crying baby must sound like the ching ching of a cash register to some people.

jlm29

Sleeper12 wrote: »

bee06 wrote:

4 is beyond 2 last time I checked

So is 60 but let's be real here. Who definitely don't recommend 4 years of age. The benefits of the milk are far outweighed by the risk of damaging the child's mental and social development. In my opinion.

I just finished off your post there

Toastytoes

Sleeper12 wrote: »

My daughter is a child care worker in a creche. They had a little boy there. Four years of age crying for booby. He was clingy and he would look for booby from the girls working there.

You c spot the ones that sleep in their parents bed a mile away in most cases.

I get that both parents have to work nowadays or both want to work. Nothing wrong with that. This brings a lot over compensating in some cases. They see it in school. Child care workers aren't allowed to tell the parents a lot of things. The parents that molly coddle their kids hurt their development particularly in mixing with other kids.

Edit : breast feeding four year old was eventually as to leave the creche.

Your daughter probably shouldn’t be discussing the children who attend the crèche that she’s is employed in with her parents or anyone outside the crèche for that matter. Are those children and parents not entitled to privacy? Are there no rules around confidentiality? It’s the parent’s business how they parent their child and not the hired help’s place to be discussing it with all and sundry.

shesty

Recently saw a device the "reminds" a baby to breathe.It goes on their nappy waistband. It looks as though it monitors the baby, and if it stops breathing 'reminds it" (no clue how) and then sounds an alarm if it doesn't happen after X amount of seconds.

Ching ching indeed.SIDS is a very real problem but I just can't help thinking devices like that are just making money from people's paranoia ....and probably making the paranoia worse. (I mean who here has not checked their baby's breathing in a panic??I still do for my toddler and four year old, never mind the newborn).

Tombo2001

I have a strong enough view on this one.

1. The people who offer advice are generally people whose kids are grown up.
2. What they never say is "this is what we did with our kids, but that doesnt mean it is the right thing", despite that actually being the case.
3. Every child is different and it stands to reason that what works with one child doesnt work with another.
4. Ditto every family is different.
5. Times change.
3. Its a way for them to show (i) been there done that, a bit of one upmanship (bad) and/ or (ii) a bit of wanting to be part of that world of having small kids again (entirely reasonable, you'll be in those shoes before to long).

Sleeper12

jlm29 wrote:

I just finished off your post there

Ah now I think any child psychologist will tell you that they would be concerned for any child 4 or over still breastfeeding. Although an adult psychologist would also be concerned about the mother's state of mind

Cocobeans101

I never give advice. Even when people ASK for advice, they don't want to hear it. They want to hear that they're doing a brilliant job despite their kids being spoilt brats.

I can't believe the behaviour out of some kid's and their crappy lame parents bleating on about how whatever new age crap is the is the best thing for little Joshua when little Joshua gnaws on their legs. LOL.

Anne_cordelia

Sleeper12 wrote: »

Ah now I think any child psychologist will tell you that they would be concerned for any child 4 or over still breastfeeding. Although an adult psychologist would also be concerned about the mother's state of mind

Please stop talking about something you haven’t a clue about. You are really showing your ignorance on the topic.

Sleeper12

Anne_cordelia wrote:

Please stop talking about something you haven’t a clue about. You are really showing your ignorance on the topic.

Can you please post a link to anywhere claiming that breastfeed a four year old is a good thing? Breast milk is very good for children and even adults but there is a stage when you have to let your baby grow up.

I truly pity the younger generation

Cocobeans101

Sleeper12 wrote: »

Can you please post a link to anywhere claiming that breastfeed a four year old is a good thing? Breast milk is very good for children and even adults but there is a stage when you have to let your baby grow up.

I truly pity the younger generation

A friend who is a long term breastfeeder. All she ever talks about is how special the bond is and how SHE can’t bear to break it. I think some women get addicted to breastfeeding and it’s more about their needs than the child. The kid is nearly 3 and is breastfeed to sleep every night. So if Mam is late home, the kids stays up. F**k*** joke.

tempnam

Sleeper12 wrote: »

Anne_cordelia wrote:

Wow thank you for your insight. You should definitely bring your research and peer reviewed studies to this organisation called the World Health Organisation. They are clearly misinformed as that’s exactly what they advocate - breastfeeding to age 2 and beyond.

I've seen 4 year olds and older being breast fed. This is not healthy for the child and plays havoc when the child is in childcare.

It could also be argued that putting a child into childcare - away from its parents for most of the day - is not healthy for the child and could 'play havoc' with it's development

Sleeper12

tempnam wrote:

It could also be argued that putting a child into childcare - away from its parents for most of the day - is not healthy for the child and could 'play havoc' with it's development

Definitely. Children are better off with stay at home parents in general. This is fact. But parents have to pay mortgages too. Its a balancing act

tempnam

Cocobeans101 wrote: »

Sleeper12 wrote: »

Can you please post a link to anywhere claiming that breastfeed a four year old is a good thing? Breast milk is very good for children and even adults but there is a stage when you have to let your baby grow up.

I truly pity the younger generation

A friend who is a long term breastfeeder. All she ever talks about is how special the bond is and how SHE can’t bear to break it. I think some women get addicted to breastfeeding and it’s more about their needs than the child. The kid is nearly 3 and is breastfeed to sleep every night. So if Mam is late home, the kids stays up. F**k*** joke.

And how does this affect you?

tempnam

It's weird that this has turned into a breastfeeding discussion. Why do people have such strong opinions on this???

Tombo2001

Sleeper12 wrote: »

Ah now I think any child psychologist will tell you that they would be concerned for any child 4 or over still breastfeeding. Although an adult psychologist would also be concerned about the mother's state of mind

Thats really pretty strong and aggressive stuff there. There would be quite a few women who breast feed until the child is 4 - and here you are suggesting / implying that these women are nut cases.

And lets remind ourselves of where Ireland stands in global rankings for breast feeding..... right down at the very bottom, thats where.

Something that any child psychologist would say is overwhelmingly positive for a child, breast feeding.

And you think its worthwhile to put the boot into breastfeeding mothers.

You're a class act pal.

bee06

tempnam wrote: »

It's weird that this has turned into a breastfeeding discussion. Why do people have such strong opinions on this???

Unfortunately that’s what happens when breastfeeding is mentioned and one of the reasons why Ireland has the worst breastfeeding rates in the world.

Sleeper12

Tombo2001 wrote:

Thats really pretty strong and aggressive stuff there. There would be quite a few women who breast feed until the child is 4 - and here you are suggesting / implying that these women are nut cases.

I'm saying that 4 is too old & might be more harmful than good in the long term.

Tombo2001 wrote:

And lets remind ourselves of where Ireland stands in global rankings for breast feeding..... right down at the very bottom, thats where.

I'm a million percent behind breastfeeding. It can be a little awkward, for me, seeing a woman feeding in public. I think I feel awkward as I so rarely see it. If I saw it more id be used to it. Me being awkward it my problem not the mothers.

Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing. Health for the mum and baby.

Tombo2001

Sleeper12 wrote: »

I'm saying that 4 is too old & might be more harmful than good in the long term.


I'm a million percent behind breastfeeding. It can be a little awkward, for me, seeing a woman feeding in public. I think I feel awkward as I so rarely see it. If I saw it more id be used to it. Me being awkward it my problem not the mothers.

Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing. Health for the mum and baby.

You have shown no evidence to support your view that 4 is too old, apart from something your daughter saw at a childcare facility as if that counts for anything......

.....which incidentally if I was a parent and I heard one of the creche workers had gone mouthing off about my kid I wouldnt be too happy.

And in the meantime you want to have your cake and eat it.....you imply that breast feeding mothers who feed their kids until age four are nut jobs.........but you also want to be the person who is "a million % behind breastfeeding".

Sleeper12

Tombo2001 wrote:

You have shown no evidence to support your view that 4 is too old, apart from something your daughter saw at a childcare facility as if that counts for anything......

4 is too old. That's my opinion and I am entitled to it. There is no medical or health to suggest otherwise and I have heard child psychologists saying that it may be harmful.

There is nothing in this to sug that I am against breastfeeding. My wife and her sisters were pioneers 20 to 35 years ago by breastfeeding.

Tombo2001 wrote:

.....which incidentally if I was a parent and I heard one of the creche workers had gone mouthing off about my kid I wouldnt be too happy.

All Child workers in creches talk about the children all the time. It shows they are interested in the children. My own daughter loves her kids. She spends her evenings getting stuff ready for the next day. My printer works overtime for her. She buys things out of her own pocket. Right now she's ordered a t-shirt for every child in the her room and they will paint the t-shirt. She pays for this out of her slightly over minimum wage.

They also talk about the parents too. Some are great others are lazy parents

Tombo2001 wrote:

And in the meantime you want to have your cake and eat it.....you imply that breast feeding mothers who feed their kids until age four are nut jobs.........but you also want to be the person who is "a million % behind breastfeeding".

You are the only one calling these mums nut jobs. I think it is a bit cruel for you to continue to use this term.

Tombo2001

Sleeper12 wrote: »

4 is too old. That's my opinion and I am entitled to it. There is no medical or health to suggest otherwise and I have heard child psychologists saying that it may be harmful.

There is nothing in this to sug that I am against breastfeeding. My wife and her sisters were pioneers 20 to 35 years ago by breastfeeding.



All Child workers in creches talk about the children all the time. It shows they are interested in the children. My own daughter loves her kids. She spends her evenings getting stuff ready for the next day. My printer works overtime for her. She buys things out of her own pocket. Right now she's ordered a t-shirt for every child in the her room and they will paint the t-shirt. She pays for this out of her slightly over minimum wage.

They also talk about the parents too. Some are great others are lazy parents



You are the only one calling these mums nut jobs. I think it is a bit cruel for you to continue to use this term.

Quote unquote from you
Although an adult psychologist would also be concerned about the mother's state of mind


You have an opinion that leads you to castigate certain categories of parent, and yet you have absolutely no basis for that opinion.

So be it.

Sleeper12

Toastytoes wrote: »

Your daughter probably shouldn’t be discussing the children who attend the crèche that she’s is employed in with her parents or anyone outside the crèche for that matter. Are those children and parents not entitled to privacy? Are there no rules around confidentiality? It’s the parent’s business how they parent their child and not the hired help’s place to be discussing it with all and sundry.

She & all creche workers talk about their job outside of work the same as everyone else. Are you suggesting you dont talk about work mates or clients to your better half while telling them how your day went?



What sort of privacy issues are you expecting? It's a minimum wage job. They don't exactly sign non disclosure contracts. :pac:

Sleeper12

Tombo2001 wrote: »

Quote unquote from you
Although an adult psychologist would also be concerned about the mother's state of mind


You have an opinion that leads you to castigate certain categories of parent, and yet you have absolutely no basis for that opinion.

So be it.

That's not to say that mothers are nut jobs as you love to put it. It is suggesting that someone breastfeeding a child four & over needs to ask themselves are the doing this for the child or their own need. Remember No health organization recommends breastfeeding children this old The time comes when you have to let a child grow up. Your needs as a parent, a man or a woman shouldn't stand in times way.

Tombo2001

Sleeper12 wrote: »

That's not to say that mothers are nut jobs as you love to put it. It is suggesting that someone breastfeeding a child four & over needs to ask themselves are the doing this for the child or their own need. Remember No health organization recommends breastfeeding children this old The time comes when you have to let a child grow up. Your needs as a parent, a man or a woman shouldn't stand in times way.

You can dress it up any way you want. Your comment clearly suggested that mothers who breast feed until age 4 have Questionable mental health. There is no other way to interpret what you said, and you are way out of line, and you continue to defend that line.

Sleeper12

Tombo2001 wrote:

You can dress it up any way you want. Your comment clearly suggested that mothers who breast feed until age 4 have Questionable mental health. There is no other way to interpret what you said, and you are way out of line, and you continue to defend that line.

You're like a dog with a bone on this but no, they are your words. My words are that they might be doing it more for themselves than for the child

Cash_Q

Deleted User wrote:

I don't understand the annoyance over this

My first baby is due in October so I'm not quite a parent yet, but I am annoyed by this question as it suggests that a tiny baby could be anything but 'good,' as asked, or alternatively then they must be 'bad' ...how can a defenceless baby be in any way 'bad' ?!

Toastytoes wrote:

Your daughter probably shouldn’t be discussing the children who attend the crèche ... It’s the parent’s business how they parent their child and not the hired help’s place to be discussing it with all and sundry.

As others have said, most people discuss their work at home. It's a different story if she's naming the children publicly and highlighting what family she's referring to and actively gossiping about them. It's a healthy thing to discuss your frustrations with work with your parents, as they can often offer advice from their experience.

I really dislike your use of the term 'hired help' when referring to a creche worker who in this day and age is no doubt highly trained and qualified. It's just a disrespectful phrase to use in reference to anyone who provides a service of any kind, whether a cleaner, handyman, child minder etc. Call me a snowflake or whatever but I personally feel that those persons charged with the care of the next generation deserve far more respect than they receive.

Toastytoes

Cash_Q wrote: »

My first baby is due in October so I'm not quite a parent yet, but I am annoyed by this question as it suggests that a tiny baby could be anything but 'good,' as asked, or alternatively then they must be 'bad' ...how can a defenceless baby be in any way 'bad' ?!




As others have said, most people discuss their work at home. It's a different story if she's naming the children publicly and highlighting what family she's referring to and actively gossiping about them. It's a healthy thing to discuss your frustrations with work with your parents, as they can often offer advice from their experience.

I really dislike your use of the term 'hired help' when referring to a creche worker who in this day and age is no doubt highly trained and qualified. It's just a disrespectful phrase to use in reference to anyone who provides a service of any kind, whether a cleaner, handyman, child minder etc. Call me a snowflake or whatever but I personally feel that those persons charged with the care of the next generation deserve far more respect than they receive.

The child is not a client, colleague or customer, the parents are the clients. Discussing a 4 year old child and speaking of it in a negative tone is unethical, your daughter is employed as it’s care giver not to give parenting advice or judgment.

I’m sorry you’re offended by me stating that someone who is paid to provide a service is hired, you clearly attach negative connotations to the phase. That’s your own issue.