Terrible news! Cheryl & Liam are splitting!

gerrybbadd

https://news.sky.com/story/cheryl-cole-and-liam-payne-announce-they-are-going-our-separate-ways-11423393

Somethings not right here.

Either Cheryl is an awful judge of character when it comes to picking fellas, or the age old saying rings true - no matter how hot the woman, there's always some fella that's sick of her sh1t.

Either way, a statement - really lads? I don't think there's many that's too bothered.

Samuri Suicide

Fanny like a hippos yawn

jacksie66

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DEFTLEFTHAND

They looked like mother and son.

Weird sort of hookup.

Chaos Tourist

Wha? Cheryl & Liam are splitting up?

Nooooooooooooooo!

Noveight

Hardly a surprise.

The bloke realised he'd rather still be rattling 20-something year old models instead of in bed by 11 looking at his mid-30's missus with a gammy arse tattoo and a young lad called Bear.

Yer Da sells Avon

Samuri Suicide wrote: »

Fanny like a hippos yawn

I don't understand the idea that having sex with lots of different men would result in a woman experiencing increased vaginal elasticity, whereas having sex with one individual man over a similar time span wouldn't (unless that man is me, obviously).

Outlaw Pete

Didn't even know they were together.

Poor Cheryl, but tbf, she was a bit old for Liam Gallagher. A looker in her day mind.

AllForIt

Devastating news. I'll cry myself to sleep tonight.

yerwanthere123

Sam Quentin

Who geeeeeves a sheeeeeet

FanadMan

Is any f*cks really being given?

Reckless Abandonment

Bear. Seriously...

freshpopcorn

I find Cheryl very tough going! Couldn't imagine being in a relationship with her.

_Dara_

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

Didn't even know they were together.

Poor Cheryl, but tbf, she was a bit old for Liam Gallagher. A looker in her day mind.

She’s only 35!

Anyhoo, least surprising split ever. And anyone who goes out with a former 1D member will be ripped apart by their more crazy fans. Not worth it. As well as that, I’ve seen the 1D boys interviewed and they have as much charisma as a slice of crumbed ham.

EDIT: Not that she’s a personality dynamo or anything but I was seriously taken aback by how dull and witless these lads were. And it was on Graham Norton. He can usually knock a bit of fun out of people.

mad muffin

I don’t know what she’s done to herself, but she looks like a drag queen now.

AndyBoBandy

I presume she’ll now change her name to Cheryl Payne!

RobbingBandit

Hair salon talk on after hours


DAMN

rodders999

Reminds me of that age old adage -

You show me a beautiful woman and I’ll show you a guy who’s sick of riding her.

hairyslug

So, does that mean there's a chance

Signore Fancy Pants

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AndyBoBandy

Chewbacca wrote: »

Do I still have to go to work today or is this some type of national disaster?

Do I need to stock up on bread and milk?

You don’t have to go to work, and you’re allowed water your garden now!!

sexmag

Hapax Legomenon wrote: »

I don't understand the idea that having sex with lots of different men would result in a woman experiencing increased vaginal elasticity, whereas having sex with one individual man over a similar time span wouldn't (unless that man is me, obviously).

It's down the fact that different sizes penis's(known collectively as penie) Stretch and contract the vagina over time, the continues widining and contractions known as "vagina contractamonium" is too stressful on the skin and muscles resulting in a lossing and damage of them , similare the elastic band around socks over time lossing and fall down ankles

"She's had so much penie she's experienced a case of vagina contractamonium"

Peatys

jacksie66 wrote: »

Who and who?

Sheryl and Liam from number 29.

Littlehorny

I remember when she split from Ashley Cole it came out that Cheryl insisted on her mother living with them and even though Cole didn't go public too much plenty of articles came out at the time that she was a total pain in the hole.

Omackeral

She's always struck me as a polished up turd. Just a bit of a knick-knack that's good looking and turned into a darling of sorts but I reckon there's a bit of a skanger under all that. She's also very contrived with reactions on shows she's judging. Has this faux emotional stare and tops it off with some gick like "that really spoke to us, pet" even tho she just means "me" instead of "us". Lastly, she's got the ability to be good looking without being sexy. Ps- how many last names do you need?

Fr_Dougal

Was alway an odd pairing, she first met him when he was 14 and told him he was cute.

Touch of the Roman Polanski’s about her, very strange fish.

_Dara_

Omackeral wrote: »

She's always struck me as a polished up turd. Just a bit of a knick-knack that's good looking and turned into a darling of sorts but I reckon there's a bit of a skanger under all that. She's also very contrived with reactions on shows she's judging. Has this faux emotional stare and tops it off with some gick like "that really spoke to us, pet" even tho she just means "me" instead of "us". Lastly, she's got the ability to be good looking without being sexy. Ps- how many last names do you need?

Oh of course there is. She’s been convicted for assault.

I think saying ‘us’ meaning ‘me’ is a Newcastle colloquialism.

frag420

hairyslug wrote: »

So, does that mean there's a chance

Doubt is, I’m sure he has hooked up with someone by now, it’s been six hours!

Omackeral

_Dara_ wrote: »

Oh of course there is. She’s been convicted for assault.

I think saying ‘us’ meaning ‘me’ is a Newcastle colloquialism.

I know about her and the the toilet attendant. I just want to stir the pot. Give us a break _Dara_

NIMAN

I genuinely feel sorry for people who consider this news.

Their lives must be very empty.

Outlaw Pete

_Dara_ wrote: »

She’s only 35!

She's 65 if she's a day.

castletownman

Liam Payne was on Graham Norton a few weeks ago and didn't appear to have many brain cells to rub together.

Which made them a perfect fit really.

Sad in a way. They had the chance to be an intellectual couple in the mould of Marie and Pierre Curie

_Dara_

Omackeral wrote: »

I know about her and the the toilet attendant. I just want to stir the pot. Give us a break _Dara_

Edgelord right here.

RobbingBandit

She's the magic roundabout everyone gets a go if they're Muppets.

gerrybbadd

NIMAN wrote: »

I genuinely feel sorry for people who consider this news.

Their lives must be very empty.

Exactly - can't for the life of me figure out why they felt it was appropriate to have to send out a press release

ohnonotgmail

Does this mean that Chim is back on?

The Crowman

How many surnames has she had at this stage?

gerrybbadd

The Crowman wrote: »

How many surnames has she had at this stage?

Has to be at least 12

Omackeral

The Crowman wrote: »

How many surnames has she had at this stage?

Literal she's had three, including her maiden name.

Cheryl Tweedy
Cheryl Cole
Cheryl Fernandez-Versini

lawred2

Omackeral wrote: »

She's always struck me as a polished up turd. Just a bit of a knick-knack that's good looking and turned into a darling of sorts but I reckon there's a bit of a skanger under all that. She's also very contrived with reactions on shows she's judging. Has this faux emotional stare and tops it off with some gick like "that really spoke to us, pet" even tho she just means "me" instead of "us". Lastly, she's got the ability to be good looking without being sexy. Ps- how many last names do you need?

you reckon?

she's pure council

wexie

oh no....this is it....the end times are beginning we're all doomed now.

(why is this **** even in the news? I know it's a bit of a stretch calling Sky the news but still)

yourdeadwright

castletownman wrote: »

Liam Payne was on Graham Norton a few weeks ago and didn't appear to have many brain cells to rub together.

Which made them a perfect fit really.

Sad in a way. They had the chance to be an intellectual couple in the mould of Marie and Pierre Curie

Not that I care about them but myself and missus watched that Graham Norton and both though what the hell does she see in him, he came across as a teenager, He looked really bad on the show, he really did come across as a child .

gerrybbadd

yourdeadwright wrote: »

Not that I care about them but myself and missus watched that Graham Norton and both though what the hell does she see in him, he came across as a teenager, He looked really bad on the show, he really did come across as a child .

He must have an aul yoke on him like an extra value tin of Pepsi Max

.......

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Gwynplaine

Sure she married a gay footballer before.

BattleCorp

Wagon or not, I wouldn't mind a go on her.

Who said she didn't look sexy? Extremely sexy in the pic below.



She'd need to put on a few pounds for protection before Mr BattleCorp climbed aboard. I'd make bits of a bag of bones like that.



And just in case anybody doesn't know about the stupid tattoo on her hoop, here ya go.

ohnonotgmail

BattleCorp wrote: »

Wagon or not, I wouldn't mind a go on her.

Who said she didn't look sexy? Extremely sexy in the pic below.

that picture must be 10 years old.

Donald Trump

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

that picture must be 10 years old.

Ah look. We'd all happily have a go on her even if she had morphed into a hippo. We'd just keep quiet about the details



Then in 20 years we could tell the grandkids we rode Cheryl


We just wouldn't say when we rode her


Still, I'd hazard a guess that she'd be in the top few percent of wimmins her own age anyway as regard being fit.

Hector Bellend

Omackeral wrote: »

Literal she's had three, including her maiden name.

Cheryl Tweedy
Cheryl Cole
Cheryl Fernandez-Versini

Perhaps she needs to consider marrying me. I'll ride her for a couple of weeks.

We'll get divorced but at least she'll end up with an appropriate surname

Flippyfloppy

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

that picture must be 10 years old.

Wouldn't mind how old it is but it's completely photoshopped, look at the outline of her stomach on the left side...