Creche Issues

firebird84

I wanted to get some more opinions from other parents who have their kids in creche on this. I'm having an issue with one of the carers, every time I ask about something they make me feel like I'm being totally difficult and unreasonable.

Most recent example was today: My eldest is potty training right now and he had 3 accidents one day last week, which is unusual for him - maybe 2/3 in a week so far would be normal. When I collected him only the last accident was recorded in the book (because it happened just before I walked in), I only realised he had more because the wet clothes they handed me (by a different carer, his usual one had knocked off) weren't the ones I sent him in in. I found the rest in his cubby.

When I went in this morning I asked what happened and was met with defensiveness and told that 1. It was busy on that day with an event 2. One of the carers helping cover didn't usually deal with potty age kids 3. Surely if I found the wet clothes I could work out he had 3 accidents 4. There's loads of kids I can't keep track of everything.

I get that it's busy and sometimes things get missed but I felt like I was being totally out of order even asking the question from their response! Am I??

SteM

You're paying a lot of money and entitled to ask questions about your child. My wife found similar situations when our lad was in creche. The staff are trained to deal with children, many of them lack the skills to deal with basic genuine questions from adults.

You didn't do anything wrong but you can deal with this one of two ways imo. You can forget about it and move on knowing that you were right to ask (as long as you did it politely). Or, you can go back to the creche manager and talk to them about your issue which is not so much how your child is being treated but how you are being treated.

Personally I'd leave it be and see what happens in the future. If you get a similar response to another genuine query then I'd be going to the creche manager with both examples.

firebird84

SteM wrote: »

You're paying a lot of money and entitled to ask questions about your child. My wife found similar situations when our lad was in creche. The staff are trained to deal with children, many of them lack the skills to deal with basic genuine questions from adults.

You didn't do anything wrong but you can deal with this one of two ways imo. You can forget about it and move on knowing that you were right to ask (as long as you did it politely). Or, you can go back to the creche manager and talk to them about your issue which is not so much how your child is being treated but how you are being treated.

Personally I'd leave it be and see what happens in the future. If you get a similar response to another genuine query then I'd be going to the creche manager with both examples.

This isn't the first time I've had the defensiveness over a simple question, usually I have to talk the person off a ledge to help them realise I'm only asking a question and this is why so they'll stop being defensive and actually answer me.

I think I was polite enough, my tone is generally quite neutral and all I said was, he had 3 accidents, can you tell me what happened?

shesty

We don't use a creche but from my point of view, my minder wouldn't respond like that if I asked her questions like that.
It may just be the personality involved...what would you like to do about it, maybe complain or have a word with the manager is it?

firebird84

shesty wrote: »

We don't use a creche but from my point of view, my minder wouldn't respond like that if I asked her questions like that.
It may just be the personality involved...what would you like to do about it, maybe complain or have a word with the manager is it?

Probably have a word with the manager. A lot of the time they are very nice but just whenever they feel like they are being questioned about something, they would clearly prefer if I just dumped the child in there each morning and said nothing about any issues.

The Infinite Fart

Really don't think you're being out of order at all. In our creche they record absolutely everything on a sheet which they give you at the end of the day. They have all the meals, what they ate and how much, and how many nappies what times and whether they were dirty or wet, if the child needs something like nappies, wipes etc. Granted our child is a bit younger. Saying they can't keep track of everything I think is not a very reassuring thing to hear when you have entrusted them with the care of your precious child which is huge. What if something serious happened to your child in their care and their response was that? You definitely shouldn't be made to feel like you shouldn't be asking these things. To say that you should have realised how many times he wet himself from the clothes you found was also unprofessional imo. If it was a once off I'd put it down to having a bad day and leave it however If it happens regularly I probably would go and have a chat with the manager. Horrible thing to have to do but you most definitely should not be made to feel like you did there.

firebird84

Update: I had a chat with the manager last night at pick up and she said all the right things. Agreed that it wasn't the right response, apologised profusely and said she will have a word. Then this morning the carer was super nice to me so I felt awful in the moment (I'm 99% sure the manager hasn't had a word yet) but still, shouldn't have happened and needs to be addressed. Thanks for the responses, glad to know I wasn't being unreasonable about it!

mitresize5

I had this with one particular pre-school teacher in our creche.
In the end I asked for a word with her out of ear shot of the kids and explained that I wasn't one of the 4 year olds, I was 40 and expected to be spoken to as such.
the wagon spent the rest of the year being waaaayyyyyyy over the top nice to me and I reciprocated. Much to the amusement of the rest of the staff

John Mason

is this a chain of creches named after an animal?

I have heard very similar stories about this particular place

appledrop

You were 100% right to bring it up with management. Our little boy not at that stage yet but creche would be very good at recording all info or relaying it to us. Realisticially they might miss writing an incident in a book if it just happened as you said but should then be verbally able to fill you in.

firebird84

Spoke to carer themselves, all sorted now, water under the bridge and very happy with outcome. Thanks for the input @all!

@mods, feel free to close thread.