Being pushed in the wrong direction

LegacyUser

I hope this doesn't come across as complaining about about something some people think is good, but this is causing me a lot of anxiety and stress which I really don't want.

Basically, I am a software developer and have been for many years, I am good at it (I think) and I enjoy it. However, as always seems to be the case, my managers won't let me just keep on being a developer, they insist that I must want to move into management.

I've had this in all of my jobs and I usually move on as a result; I spend the first year or so at the new place being a developer, then they start talking about management and the whole thing starts again.

The reason I don't want to go in that direction is that I've tried it and I'm just not good at it. I don't have the soft skills needed for this (people have tried to teach me them and failed). It also bores me, spreadsheets, reports, meetings - all while I watch the rest of the team doing the fun stuff I want to be doing.

I know the conversation is about to come up in my current job and I really don't want to have to move on again.

I know (roughly) how the conversation will go:

Manager: not_me, we want you to take on some of the management duties in the team
not_me: I don't think that's a good idea, I've tried before and I'm not good at it
Manger: It's ok, we'll support you when you need it
not_me: I don't want to do it
Manager: blah blah ... support ... blah blah ... training
not_me: No thank you
Manger: Well we've already decided among ourselves that this is happening, so you start Monday.

The promised training and support never materializes and I end up stressed out and crying in the toilet or my car (both have really happened). It also impacts my home and family life too.

I'm not a particularly forceful person in these scenarios so I'm looking for some advice on how I can push back on this, permanently.

C3PO

I think you need to be crystal clear when your manager has the conversation with you - "I appreciate the offer and I really like working here, however, if you insist on changing my role I will reluctantly begin to look for alternative employment" Emphasise how much you enjoy the work and environment but leave him/her in no doubt that you will be leaving if they insist on a role change!

beauf

Become a contractor. Then all people want is you to code.

LionelNashe

You could not only leave, but also make a case for constructive dismissal, I'd say, if you were clear that you didn't want to do this new role, and they were insistent that you had to.

But you're getting ahead of yourself. It's one thing to be stressed over something that has happened or that is happening, but if you stressing over something that hasn't happened yet then you're doubling the stress for no reason. You'll only have a problem if they want your role to change, and if they won't take no for an answer. That's two 'ifs' that might not happen.

TomOnBoard

If they're pushing you into Management its probably because they think it'd suit you and/or your immediate manager needs to get you into management to get his own ass promoted.

However, the "Peter Principle" says that in any hierarchical organisation, people tend to be promoted to the level of their own incompetence. When they're great at their jobs, they get promoted higher and keep getting promoted until they stop being good at their new job.

You recognise that you'd not be as good at a higher level in the organisation. You know because you've tried it. If thats your position and enjoying your coding role is more important than "career progression" and/or more money, then stick to your guns and just say nicely,

'been there, done that.... tried it and didn't like it'

Just be aware that getting more money in time may be more difficult as many organisations peg salary to hierarchical levels.

colm_c

If you're not interested, fair enough, but I will say that there are usually two tracks for developers in order to progress, pure technical or management.

If you're not in the pure technical track, then you're into some kind of management track, even if it is only 10-20%.

Have you thought about a long term career path and goal?

Likely that your manager has a kpi to bring his team along to the next stage in their career.

LegacyUser

Thanks to everyone for taking their time to comment.

Become a contractor. Then all people want is you to code.

Unfortunately, where I am currently in life (kids, mortgage etc), the loss of job security that would bring means it isn't an option.

...if you stressing over something that hasn't happened yet then you're doubling the stress for no reason.

This really hit home, I do tend to over think all the 'what ifs?', I always have and, I imagine, always will. In my mind, it is what makes me a good developer; my brain runs on from the problem and allows me to come up with a more complete solution as a result. I don't get stressed by it when I'm coding because I have the skills and knowledge (google & stackoverflow) to solve the issues. When it comes to management I don't have the soft skills to solve the issues - I've tried various routes to get these skills but they just don't come naturally to me.

Have you thought about a long term career path and goal?

To be honest, my overall goal is to keep writing code for as long as I still enjoy it. The problem is company's don't seem to like that goal.

I've already moved twice over this issue, and each time it comes up again.

I still love coding, however I'm slowly coming to the realization that I won't be able to do it forever, so maybe a career change is needed, just don't know what to.

beauf

TomOnBoard wrote: »

Just be aware that getting more money in time may be more difficult as many organisations peg salary to hierarchical levels.

See this is it. Same in our place. There are no high level technical grades. So to get more money you have to switch to a manager grade to get a promotion. You'll have that issue most places. Contractors don't have that issue.

nthclare

Similar to yourself, Im a craft gardener and have been approached to take up management positions within the running of a country estate because supposedly I'm quite creative,inovative, and efficient.

Now why I should I neglect something I love in order to downgrade myself to a position to 10 times the responsibility for 30% extra wages for myself.

They're getting 70% off me, and I'm gaining nothing much in return.

Middle Management is for loosers to be honest, they're usually scatty, confused and cause chaos and are there for other managers to sht on.

Old school managers are way better than the management of these days.

1hnr79jr65

As an alternative option you could say to your manager

"i really enjoy my current role and it suits my skillset alot, i dont feel that management is the correct direction for myself, however i could be open to developmental or training role as it will keep my current skills sharp."

If training was something your company would do and this would suit you, it could result in pay hike without the stress of being in a managerial role while keeping you close to what you love (ala taking on graduates or upskilling current staff). Some advantages could be attending courses to improve your skills so you can pass those on. and you could promote this as a benefit for the company.

spaceHopper

They can't change your role with out your agreement. Tell them your done it before in other companies it's not for you even with all the support in the world. Don't even discuss it beyond that.

dudara

Some companies offer alternative career paths for technical people. They do lead to management eventually with more responsibility and more money, but with a different focus than the traditional management path. A lot of technical people don't want the traditional management route, but still want to progress, so bigger companies are giving them alternatives.

beauf

not_me_1997 wrote: »

....When it comes to management I don't have the soft skills to solve the issues - I've tried various routes to get these skills but they just don't come naturally to me....

There's more bad managers then good ones in my experience.

Perhaps you need a mentor on the management skills.

LegacyUser

not_me_1997 wrote: »

To be honest, my overall goal is to keep writing code for as long as I still enjoy it. The problem is company's don't seem to like that goal.

I've already moved twice over this issue, and each time it comes up again.

I still love coding, however I'm slowly coming to the realization that I won't be able to do it forever, so maybe a career change is needed, just don't know what to.

You can keep coding forever you just need to find the right company with a career path for developers. Lots of the Silicon Valley companies have these career paths.

Also you could try aim for more technical roles that don’t involve management like Solutions architect or Systems architect.

It’s hard to find these roles in Ireland but more and more are coming online.

4 years ago it was developer or manager. Nowadays there is much more opportunity to continue coding and avoid management.