Wasps nest .

corner of hells

I have a wasp nest in my boiler house shed , has anyone any suggestions to removing it .

I don't necessarily want to burn the shed down because , ya know , the oil burner is in it , but all suggestions will be considered.

Pa8301

corner of hells wrote: »

I have a wasp nest in my boiler house shed , has anyone any suggestions to removing it .

I don't necessarily want to burn the shed down because , ya know , the oil burner is in it , but all suggestions will be considered.

Blast it with piss.

Mint Sauce

Nuke it from space. Might destroy the house as well, but then you'll no longer require the oil burner.

verycool

https://www.wikihow.com/Get-Rid-of-a-Wasp%27s-Nest

Bob Harris

Offer the wasps some free social housing in a nice location and throw in the dole and a bit of children's allowance and I'm sure they'll be happy to move.

beertons

Shove a stick through it, hold it up high, and run towards water. Fling the stick away just before you jump into water. Stay there till they all fly away.

Cina

I think the only solution here is to get a flamethrower and burn your entire house and shed down, then build a massive 20 ft wall around the remaining lot, with a roof, obviously. Then what you'll want to do is move far away, at least half way across the world, but not Australia or Japan cause the f*ckers are even bigger then. After doing that, I'd suggest buying a small, well protected, sealed house and locking yourself in there for the rest of your life.

Stay safe, stay protected, and f*ck wasps.

corner of hells

Bob Harris wrote: »

Offer the wasps some free social housing in a nice location and throw in the dole and a bit of children's allowance and I'm sure they'll be happy to move.

Ok , yeah , would I need a wasp trampoline ?

corner of hells

Some good replies so far . I like the flamethrower idea.

septictank

beertons wrote: »

Shove a stick through it, hold it up high, and run towards water. Fling the stick away just before you jump into water. Stay there till they all fly away.

Correct, But you forgot to cover yourself in jam first, top tip.

Bob Harris

corner of hells wrote: »

Ok , yeah , would I need a wasp trampoline ?

That's the deal-maker.

corner of hells

septictank wrote: »

Correct, But you forgot to cover yourself in jam first, top tip.

Strawberry ok ? Or would honey be better ?

Mint Sauce

beertons wrote: »

Shove a stick through it, hold it up high, and run towards water. Fling the stick away just before you jump into water. Stay there till they all fly away.

If jumping into the kids paddling pool, or your ornamental pond, make sure you filled it from a bucket, not the hose pipe.

victor8600

corner of hells wrote: »

I have a wasp nest in my boiler house shed , has anyone any suggestions to removing it .

If it is a large nest, buy a life insurance before trying to remove the nest. A flamethrower is a dangerous thing.

skooterblue2

Call a beekeeper to get it disposed of safely

Bob Harris

skooterblue2 wrote: »

Call a beekeeper to get it disposed of safely

That's crazy talk. GTFO.

corner of hells

skooterblue2 wrote: »

Call a beekeeper to get it disposed of safely

None of your safety talk round here.

septictank

The Honey Runs, I find coarse cut Marmalade the best, put plenty round the rim.

skooterblue2

corner of hells wrote: »

None of your safety talk round here.

Ok, Call the Israeli embassy and tell them there is a Hamas/Red Army faction being run out of a wasps hive in your back yard...... that will sort them out.

corner of hells

I have a friend who's son is doing his service in the Israeli army , I was thinking about asking about some stun grenades.

corner of hells

septictank wrote: »

The Honey Runs, I find coarse cut Marmalade the best, put plenty round the rim.

The rim of what ?
My arse ?

dan1895

corner of hells wrote: »

I have a friend who's son is doing his service in the Israeli army , I was thinking about asking about some stun grenades.

Tell him there are some Palestinian kids happily playing in the shed. The wasp problem will soon be solved.

A sarcophagus is your only solution here.

evolving_doors

Sprinkle with white pepper.
They'll sneeze and bash their heads , killing themselves. Oxo

victor8600

skooterblue2 wrote: »

Call a beekeeper to get it disposed of safely

I am a beekeeper, please do not call me. Removing bees is done slowly and carefully. With wasps you need stun grenades to kill them before they kill you. A beekeeping suit does not give enough protection against wasps.

ArchXStanton

Can of expanding foam and pay them a night time visit op

_Brian

Buy a tin of wasp nest spray in woodies.

Give it a good spraying and that will be he end of it.

Did one last summer, no big deal.

BarryD2

Just leave it, if it's not causing any major problems. Wasps die off quick enough when it gets cold. So in winter, you should be able to clean it out and seal up. Wasps nests are amazing constructions in themselves. Live and let live etc.

corner of hells

victor8600 wrote: »

I am a beekeeper, please do not call me. Removing bees is done slowly and carefully. With wasps you need stun grenades to kill them before they kill you. A beekeeping suit does not give enough protection against wasps.

Input from expert , good , thanks.

Stigura

The 'Window Cleaner' reference is an industry 'in joke'

B-D-P--

^^^ did a more sucessfull version of this years back.

Be sure to stomp the sh1t out of the bag and in the bin with it.

Hector Savage

Big bucket of soapy water op ... guaranteed this works

septictank

BarryD2 wrote: »

Just leave it, if it's not causing any major problems. Wasps die off quick enough when it gets cold. So in winter, you should be able to clean it out and seal up. Wasps nests are amazing constructions in themselves. Live and let live etc.[/Q

Typical Anti-Brexit attitude.

Yester

Bats eat wasps. So get a load of bats and lock them in your shed for a couple of days and that should sort your wasp problem. Then make another thread here, on how to get bats out of your shed.

McDermotX

septictank

Yester wrote: »

Bats eat wasps. So get a load of bats and lock them in your shed for a couple of days and that should sort your wasp problem. Then make another thread here, on how to get bats out of your shed.

Now your talking, not in work until 6pm.

Graces7

Yester wrote: »

Bats eat wasps. So get a load of bats and lock them in your shed for a couple of days and that should sort your wasp problem. Then make another thread here, on how to get bats out of your shed.

There may be a problem with getting bats out as they and their roosts are protected in law

fancy pigeon

runawaybishop

BarryD2 wrote: »

Just leave it, if it's not causing any major problems. Wasps die off quick enough when it gets cold. So in winter, you should be able to clean it out and seal up. Wasps nests are amazing constructions in themselves. Live and let live etc.

In August the wasps will have finished their summer work and will fly around drunk and looking for fights.

A can of wasp spray is about 6 yo yo, spray the **** out of them and run away very fast. Do it at night or very early in the morning while they are asleep.

corner of hells

runawaybishop wrote: »

In August the wasps will have finished their summer work and will fly around drunk and looking for fights.

A can of wasp spray is about 6 yo yo, spray the **** out of them and run away very fast. Do it at night or very early in the morning while they are asleep.

How will I know they're asleep , do they wear pyjamas also I have previous with drunk wasps at a bottle bank.

Flying nazi bastard's.

Graces7

corner of hells wrote: »

How will I know they're asleep , do they wear pyjamas also I have previous with drunk wasps at a bottle bank.

Flying nazi bastard's.

When it goes dark they sleep...especially the drunk ones.. And when they sleep they stop buzzing and snore instead .. Cover yourself though..

I once saw some wasps starting to invade my attic space. Zapped them with fly/wasp spray and they went

Steve F

Easy
Forward on this thread and they will piss themselves laughing at all the hilarious answers and they will all drown
Thank me later
/thread

Hector Savage

Neyite

You are missing a trick OP.


You could make a fortune from influencers

Gunmonkey

Bob Harris wrote: »

Offer the wasps some free social housing in a nice location and throw in the dole and a bit of children's allowance and I'm sure they'll be happy to move.

What if the social house isn't near their mam's house?

Canis Lupus

Poke it with a stick.

Don't wear any clothes during the poking process.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

If it's small enough to cover with a plastic bag just go in after dark, put the bag over the nest, seal it around the top of the nest as best you can, pull the nest away, tighten the seal, put all in another bag and either burn it, crush it, or just leave it aside for a few days until the wasps are dead

sbsquarepants

corner of hells wrote: »

The rim of what ?
My arse ?

I generally find that if you're marmalading your arse, it's a safe bet that you should go home and sleep it off!

Graces7 wrote: »

I once saw some wasps starting to invade my attic space. Zapped them with fly/wasp spray and they went

Cracking story. Should be on the big screen:D

corner of hells

Thanks all , the usual high standards in replies.

I've had a look it seems to the size of telephone book in between a dryer and wall.

The best option would be to demolish the shed

If I'm alive , I may do updates.

ohnonotgmail

corner of hells wrote: »

Thanks all , the usual high standards in replies.

I've had a look it seems to the size of telephone book in between a dryer and wall.

The best option would be to demolish the shed

If I'm alive , I may do updates.

what you need to do is go up to the nest, find the biggest wasp you can and punch it in the head. the rest of the wasps wont go near you after that.

victor8600

corner of hells wrote: »

If I'm alive , I may do updates.

Get the pictures before and after please. Either of the nest, or your face, or both