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Tips for a parent of an 8 year old

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  • 18-07-2018 3:12am
    #1
    iceims
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭


    Hi,

    I thought I was quite a good parent until recently. Our family has expanded and my 8-year-old daughter, Becky, an only child for so long, has now become a big sister. My husband and I were trying to prepare her for the change, explaining her we would love her as much as ever, but she wasn't convinced.

    Becky and I used to get on so well. She would do whatever I told her to and we would have our daily routines, like reading bedtime stories before going to sleep. But recently she has entered this weird stage, where she's not a toddler any more nor is she a teenager. So mature in some cases, but still is so naïve in other. I have to keep disciplining her often, therefore she may take it as me being constantly cross at her... I feel like I'm not prepared for this stage of my child's development, I want to be nice and kind, but I end up being cross and frustrated.

    For example, I can't make her go to bed at a reasonable time every day. She keeps waiting for when I am ready to go to bed... and sometimes it's midnight by the time she falls asleep, especially now that she has no school and she doesn't have to get up early in the morning. I keep explaining her, that I have to put the baby to sleep first (this whole process usually takes an hour or two and it's never the same time every day) and then I have other things to do, like tidying up, ironing, etc. (I work from home these days, so I don't have much time for home duties during the day) so I can't stay in her bedroom for too long. Before, I used to spend 30min to an hour with her at bedtime, but now I just want to kiss her goodnight and go back to my duties, as they pile up so quickly if left undone. She then makes me feel guilty that I don't have time for her... Ironically, she could be missing from home all day, playing outside with her friends and then she doesn't need me at all... I am finding it so hard to balance it out.

    What issues do you have / used to have with your pre-teens and how do you deal/ have you dealt with them?


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    #2
    mvl
    Registered Users Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭mvl


    parenting a single child so my is situation different than yours.

    but ... this doesn't read right : "Before, I used to spend 30min to an hour with her at bedtime, but now I just want to kiss her goodnight and go back to my duties, as they pile up so quickly if left undone. She then makes me feel guilty that I don't have time for her"
    - so don't mind me asking: what is dad doing extra, if you have extra duties with the baby ? can he be involved more, either to free you up from some of these new duties, or to read her the story/spend more time with her ?

    think ppl need to share/rotate responsibilities with the kids. when there is a dad, mom is not the only one caring for children/looking after the home.


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