Painful Sex

Unanimous

Hi,

I have been having severe pains whenever I have sex. the pain occurs deep inside my vagina and it occurs when my boyfriend penetrates. its so painful that I don't enjoy having sex because I just have to endure while it lasts. He doesn't really know and I am afraid to tell him until I know what exactly is wrong with me.

We also just started dating and I don't want him thinking that he would not have a good time with me.

I have always had this pain and I have stayed away from sex for quite a long time because of this pain along side other issues.

Please can anyone give me any insight or if they have had similar experience?

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CopperLady

Unanimous wrote: »

Hi,

I have been having severe pains whenever I have sex. the pain occurs deep inside my vagina and it occurs when my boyfriend penetrates. its so painful that I don't enjoy having sex because I just have to endure while it lasts. He doesn't really know and I am afraid to tell him until I know what exactly is wrong with me.

We also just started dating and I don't want him thinking that he would not have a good time with me.

I have always had this pain and I have stayed away from sex for quite a long time because of this pain along side other issues.

Please can anyone give me any insight or if they have had similar experience?

Dyspareunia (sexual pain), particularly vaginismus is a lot more common than you might think. Seconding speaking to a GP or sexual health professional. It is very treatable so you shouldn't have to endure that pain! Pelvic floor physiotherapy is available. But you should probably tell him, its very unfair on you and will likely just make your condition worse to continue to force yourself to have painful intercourse. Good luck!

pwurple

Do you chart?

Is it always the same pain level, does it decrease at any point in your cycle? I ask because the cervix position changes, and it softens/opensand closes/harden. If the pain is deep, it could be from hitting your cervix. Everyone is slightly different internally, yours could be quite low.

I would speak to a gp as well, but after taking a few weeks to gather information first.

Unanimous

We tried again yesterday and it was painful again. Stomach hurt afterwards. We just started dating so I have not tried on other days. I have booked a meeting with the women wellness centre in Dublin. I just want to know if other girls experience such sometimes.
He is 6"2 and I am 5"2. I am guessing it may be him being too big for a petite girl?

I don't want to lose him over this

mapaca

You're not alone OP, many women have this problem, it's very common, I've experienced it myself. There's a number of reasons why it might be happening, so I'm glad to see you are going to visit the Well Woman service to investigate it.

Please don't feel you have to "endure" sex for your boyfriend's sake. If he's a decent fella he'll be compassionate and understanding while you work through it.

Caranica

Unanimous wrote: »

He is 6"2 and I am 5"2. I am guessing it may be him being too big for a petite girl?

I don't want to lose him over this

I'm 5'1" (size 8) and all of the best sex I've had has been with guys over 6', the best being 6'10!

All of our bodies are different and react differently. I'm glad you're going to get medical help at this stage, sort it out in good time, and hopefully forever. Good luck x

ted1

Caranica wrote: »

Unanimous wrote: »

He is 6"2 and I am 5"2. I am guessing it may be him being too big for a petite girl?

I don't want to lose him over this

I'm 5'1" (size 8) and all of the best sex I've had has been with guys over 6', the best being 6'10!

All of our bodies are different and react differently. I'm glad you're going to get medical help at this stage, sort it out in good time, and hopefully forever. Good luck x

Height isn’t proportional to member size. I don’t see how height is a factor.

Caranica

ted1 wrote: »

Height isn’t proportional to member size. I don’t see how height is a factor.

That is true, I was replying to the op's concern in relation to height. I can confirm that there is no correlation, I've noticed quite a variation, including the smallest I've ever had and the biggest but mostly somewhere in between

Jenneke87

Could it be that's he's thrusting to hard and hitting your cervix? that can be quite painful and I've experienced it quite a few times, including the stomach pain for days afterwards. Could a different position help where you'd have more control over how deep in he goes.
Also, sex is not just to please him, you should have your pleasure too. No woman should just have to " lie there and take it" because she's afraid she will lose her boyfriend. If anything he should care enough about you to make it good for the both of you. I understand it's a somewhat awkward talk, but one you'll want to have right away.

Jenneke87

Could it be that's he's thrusting to hard and hitting your cervix? that can be quite painful and I've experienced it quite a few times, including the stomach pain for days afterwards. Could a different position help where you'd have more control over how deep in he goes.
Also, sex is not just to please him, you should have your pleasure too. No woman should just have to " lie there and take it" because she's afraid she will lose her boyfriend. If anything he should care enough about you to make it good for the both of you. I understand it's a somewhat awkward talk, but one you'll want to have right away.

TheBoyConor

You should talk to your partner. Sex is a two way street and as the other poster said, it should not be just about lying there and letting him have his way until it's over. Talk about the problem and see if theres other positions that help to minimise the pain in the short term while you get it sorted with the GP.

You don't say if you ever have given birth? That's important because there can be scarring or damage.
Also, endometriosis or PCOS can cause painful intercourse.

Oink

Unanimous wrote: »

I don't want to lose him over this
(

Can I give you my opinion as a man?
If I was him, I would absolutely want to know and to help you through this.

If your pain is inconveniencing him, he’s not in it for the right reasons and you’re better off moving on.

I hope the GP can help you soon enough.

DeadHand

If it hurts, stop doing it.

You need to talk to your boyfriend and your GP about this immediately. Don’t leave your bf in the dark. Penetrative sex isn’t the be all and end all, there’s loads of other fun stuff to do sexually until your problem is resolved and you’re comfortable enough to try it again. Don’t worry about what he thinks, look after yourself.

Alarm bells are ringing slightly in that I find it hard to believe that you two can be that intimate without him sensing that it’s an ordeal for you. Maybe he’s inexperienced or you’re a great actor... I hope it’s not a case that he cops it but doesn’t care.

In any case, you need to talk to him, he’s not a mind reader. He’ll be thoroughly supportive and grant you the space to address your issue, I’m 99% sure. If not, he’s not worth having around in the first place.