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Leaving abusive relationship Vs long term goals?

Melisandre121 · 2018-07-28 15:30:55

I am currently travelling Australia and during my travels I met a guy who has a multitude of mental health problems. He is lovely and very sweet and I fell for him and we ended up together but he has his demons. When he gets down he threatens suicide. If we go out and I talk to other guys he goes missing and again, I have…

Comments

#52 03-08-2018 8:07pm

WIZWEB

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 523 ✭✭✭

Join Date: March 2008

Posts: 494

OP you're codependent. In essence trauma bonded to this chap and his obvious borderline personality disorder. You are both addicted to the drama.

I remember you being here before. You obviously ignored all the advice given previously and most likely will do so again or find ways of maintaining your dysfunctional attachment. I'm not victim blaming. It's your choice to engage in this madness.

Disengage or have your life ruined. Seek professional therapy to curtail your toxic enabling caretaker role. This was most likely developed from dysfunctional parenting. Again a skill that is intergenerational.

You're playing the martyr is just as damaging to this lad. I did this codependency fiasco for over 8 years with an alcoholic. Even long after I ended the relationship I made excuses to engage every time he threatened suicide. All manipulation and toxic drama. Eventually I detached and thankfully moved home to NZ where he discovered a new enabler. No longer my problem. Never was! Now they are both alcoholics!

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